Like Night and Day
by EllaB twilight
Summary: Bella struggles with her changing feelings for Jacob, her pain from Edward's rejection, and her lingering feelings of love for the vampire who broke her heart and disappeared. Will Jacob and Bella get their chance? What happens when Edward returns?
1. Chapter 1 I Want to Try

_Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair._

_If I turned my face to the side – if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder…I knew without any doubt exactly what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight._

_But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?_

_Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought about turning my head._

_And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear._

"Be happy_," he told me._

_I froze._

_Jacob felt me stiffen and released me automatically, reaching for the door._

Wait_, I wanted to say, _just a minute_. But I was still locked in place, listening to the echo of Edward's voice in my head._

_Storm-cooled air blew through the cab of the truck._

I shivered involuntarily as the cool air hit the skin where Jacob's warmth had just been and reached for him before my brain could tell me exactly what the right course of action should be.

"Bella," Jacob's husky voice said uncertainly, turning to gather me in his arms once again. I could tell he was holding his breath, and if it were possible, he felt even hotter against me. I waited, listening for Edward's voice again, but there was nothing.

After a moment Jacob exhaled. The sigh sounded so sad. I felt a twinge of sadness too. He needed me just as much as I needed him, and I felt ashamed at how much I had taken without giving anything in return. But what can an incomplete person possibly have to give?

At that moment, I felt a hot drop fall on my ear and I quickly pushed away from Jacob in utter surprise. I gazed at him in alarm. Jacob was crying? I truly was a wretched person – this had to be entirely my fault.

His jaw was clenched and I could tell he was trying to hold back the emotion that had just made itself known. At that moment he looked so much like _my Jacob_ that my heart skipped.

"Leah and Seth, they're practically the same age as me," he said fiercely, fighting the drops that threatened to fall from his eyes. "I was so young when my mom died, I don't think I ever really understood the loss. But to lose their dad…I just can't imagine what they're…" His voice trailed off and a single tear slid down his cheek.

I didn't think. I didn't need to. My Jacob was hurting and I couldn't stand it. Before I realized what I was doing, my hands were on his shoulders and my lips were stopping the tear from falling any further down his skin. I heard him gasp and suddenly his hands were in my hair. He turned his head and I was kissing him. His lips were an urgent flame against mine, slightly parted so I could taste the sweetness of his mouth. The sweetness was tinged with the salt from his tear.

My brain screamed at me to stop, that something wasn't right, but it took my lips another few seconds before they cooperated.

"Jacob!" I gasped, not sure exactly what I had just started. I dropped my head, feeling my face growing red and something – was it shame? – taking over my senses. I felt wild, like I wasn't in control. Did I just _kiss_ Jacob Black?

"Oh, Bells," he breathed, leaning in to nuzzle my neck. I couldn't push him away quickly enough. He pulled back, puzzled. I looked up at him, horrified.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "I don't know why I did that…I mean, I…we can't, I can't…oh, Jacob." I couldn't explain my actions, but as I looked at him, he started to smile.

"Don't be sorry, Bella," he said, wiping his eyes. "You just proved what I've known all along – you do have feelings for me, and I think you're starting to realize it too." His red-rimmed eyes looked almost smug. "You've been broken ever since Edward left, but you're finally starting to allow yourself to really live again," he emphasized his name and watched my reaction.

I flinched and hugged my arms across myself and was taken aback when the hole didn't open as much as I expected. Instead, another unpleasant feeling nagged at me and I realized it was guilt. I was betraying Edward.

Although, Edward had made it clear that he didn't want me. The guilt dulled slightly.

I felt my mouth agape and I quickly closed it. Looking at him and filling my voice with as much conviction as I could, I muttered, "That can't happen again." And I opened my door and walked into my house, holding my head high even while my body trembled. Closing the door, I leaned against it and sank to the floor. Outside, it took nearly a minute before I heard Jacob exit my truck. I imagined him walking into the woods to phase with that superior smile on his face and I shook my head, trying to free my mind of the image.

The internal argument I had waged in the truck had become a war. How could I do this to him? Jacob couldn't settle for being second-best — he was too wonderful for that. He needed someone with a whole heart. And Edward...I cringed slightly but again, was surprised that thinking of him didn't pain me as much as I was anticipating. Was I being disloyal to the voice in my head, the wound in my core? Could I follow what he had told me just moments before? Be happy.

How could I be happy? It was too dangerous. I had been happy before, and look what happened. Yes, happiness was hazardous for me in the long run.

_But when have you shied away from danger_? I asked myself. _You dated a vampire, for goodness sake_!

I spent the next half hour on the floor in one spot, completely still. I gave myself up to the debate, opening my mind and heart to remembering. I remembered how I first felt when Edward would talk to me, how my heart reacted. It beat loudly now, feeling stronger than it had in months. I realized that I felt some of those same pleasant twinges when Jacob and I conversed in his garage. I remembered my discovery of Edward's vampire identity; how I had made the decision that it didn't matter because I needed him, no matter how unworthy of him I was.

I sat up, feeling as though someone had punched me in the gut. "Oh!" I exclaimed. How had I never realized how similar the situations between Edward and Jacob really were? Could I convince my heart and head that what I felt for Edward didn't matter because I needed Jacob, even if I didn't deserve him?

Could I really allow myself to surrender the pain, my only reminder of Edward? Thinking of Jacob's tear-filled eyes, I realized I wanted to try, for Jacob's sake more than my own.

Charlie arrived home from the Clearwater's a few hours later, and dinner was waiting for him. My internal struggle hadn't made me forget that my father would be home soon, hungry and hurting. Before he had a chance to sit, I stopped to give him a quick hug. He grunted his thanks, but didn't need to say anything else. Dinner was quieter than usual.

I stole glances at him as we ate. There were no signs of tears on his face, but Charlie looked tired, older. I appreciated him and remembered with a pang that there was a time when I was going to give him up for all eternity. It made me angry, for some reason.

"Done?" I heard him ask. I nodded and he rose to clear the table. He cleared his throat and added, "I'll be down at Sue Clearwater's most of tomorrow. She's going to need help, you know…with the arrangements."

"Do you mind if I come along?" I asked. "Jacob seemed upset today, and I wanted to make sure he's okay. And Seth and Leah too," I added hastily.

Charlie raised his eyebrows and the slightest smile erased the sorrow from his face. "Of course, Bella. As long as you don't mind being stuck there while I'm helping Sue."

I shook my head, and couldn't help feeling a tremor of nervousness to see Jacob again. I promised myself I would try…starting tomorrow I would take it one day at a time and see if my broken self could manage to love like that again.

I went to bed that night worried how my dreams would play out. I was used to the screaming, the nights of waking in a panic — in a way it was comforting because I knew what to expect. After my mini-revelation, I didn't know how my subconscious would respond.

At five in the morning, I awoke gasping, my throat rasping with the reminder of my near-drowning experience. In my dream I had been embraced by soft arms, first ice cold, and then red hot. They were both pleasant. But as I enjoyed the sensation, they began to squeeze, competing with each other for more and more of my skin. Soon I was being suffocated by the strong binds that were freezing and burning. I couldn't handle them both.


	2. Chapter 2 A Stolen Kiss

My entire being was tense as I cleaned up after breakfast. Charlie had murmured his appreciation for the French toast and I was glad he could at least start this difficult day on a full stomach. We settled in the police cruiser and set out for the reservation.

The car was comfortably silent as we drove through Forks. For once, the sun shone high in the sky, which just seemed wrong when so many people were mourning.

Charlie dropped me off in front of the Black's home and continued on his way to the Clearwater's house. As I walked to the door, I wished I had called first. It was still very early.

Billy answered the door almost immediately. He had a jacket half-on, and looked like he was about to leave. "Bella! Sorry, Jake's still sleeping, and I'm on my way to Sue's to help out if I can."

I must have looked disappointed, because he quickly added, "You can wait if you'd like. Make yourself at home. I know Jake will be glad you're here. And Rachel is supposed to be here later today for the funeral — you might remember her? Rebecca and her husband can't make it from Maui."

A few minutes later I was alone in the Black's living room wondering if I should get some breakfast ready for when Jacob woke up. Then I realized I didn't know what time he had gotten in and decided to let him sleep. I sat on the couch and tried to read the newspaper I had found on the kitchen table, but kept glancing up toward the door to Jacob's room. Before long, I just couldn't resist the urge to tiptoe to his door any longer. I cracked it just a few inches and peered in.

It was always comical to see Jacob's huge frame in any enclosed space, especially now — draped across his tiny bed. He practically stretched from one wall to the other, but his face was so serene. Free of the worry and burden that goes with being a protector of his people. _And of me_, I thought, chuckling.

He was on his stomach, and shirtless, of course. His back rippled with muscles, and the entire room pulsed with the heat from his body. His skin looked like glowing bronze — he was stunning. My fingers squeezed the doorframe as I gazed at him intently, fighting the temptation to creep in there and smooth his glossy hair from his face so I could better watch him sleep. Now I knew what Edward must have felt like all those nights in my room watching me dream.

Edward. It hurt to think of him, especially as I was gazing at the person who might someday fill the hole that was left in my heart. But it didn't hurt terribly, and for that I was thankful. _Be happy_.

_Okay, I will be_, I thought as temptation won out and I stepped softly into his room, my stomach fluttering with nerves that were much more than just your average butterflies. Was I ready to try to move on, to heal? Looking at Jacob's peaceful expression, I felt tenderness for him and knew that even if I wasn't ready, there was no better person to take my time with than him.

I knelt next to the head of the bed, my face a foot away from Jacob's. Carefully, I ran my fingers through his hair and tucked it behind his ear. He smiled in his sleep and murmured, "Hmmm." I couldn't help grinning as I noticed that he tucked in his lower lip when he slept, almost as if he were sucking on it. I wondered to myself if he used to suck his thumb as a baby.

"Bella." I froze before I realized he was asleep. _Wait, he was saying my name? Guess I wasn't the only one who talked in my sleep_. He smiled again and was quiet.

I knelt there for several minutes, watching his back rise and fall with each breath. I couldn't tell whether the room felt warm because of Jacob's presence, or because of my escalating pulse. I was struck by how soft his face still looked, even through all of the changes that phasing and his rapid growth spurt had forced his body to deal with. I reached out and put my palm on his cheek. It really _was_ soft. My thumb brushed across his lips as he smiled in his sleep again. _Mmm, so soft_, I thought. I leaned forward.

My lips barely brushed against his. Warm, yielding, unlike anything I had known. It felt _good_. I pulled back to look at him a moment before leaning again to touch my lips to his. He muttered against my mouth, and I grinned as I pulled back once more and rested my head against the mattress not far from his head. With relief, I realized I hadn't thought at all of Edward, or felt any guilt this time — other than wondering if I were taking advantage of the sleeping boy and knowing he would have wanted to be awake for the kiss. My eyelids were suddently heavy as the warmth in the room made me sleepy. I sighed and closed my eyes.

I don't know how much time had passed before I felt a hand against my hair, stroking it softly. It was pleasant, and as I opened my eyes to find Jacob gazing at me, I didn't pull back. I smiled sleepily, ignoring the stiffness in my legs which were still tucked underneath me on the floor.

"Well, this was a surprise," he said. "I opened my eyes and was convinced I was still dreaming."

Reluctantly, I sat up. His hand dropped and he looked vaguely uncomfortable. I knew he was remembering how we left things yesterday. I saw him start to speak, but I held up my hand.

"Jake, I'm sorry about yesterday," I began before he interrupted.

"Don't be! I'm not," he said. I stopped him again, shaking my head and looking at my feet.

"I mean, I'm sorry for how I reacted. There was nothing wrong with you kissing me, but I wasn't quite ready for it. I didn't know if it was something I wanted, and that's not fair for you. I probably shouldn't have kissed you on the cheek in the first place." I looked up to find him with a goofy grin plastered on his face.

"Bells, you're not mad at me? I was sure I had blown it when I mentioned him…I don't want to hurt you but I was just so keyed up at the time, I wasn't thinking."

The pain barely throbbed. I sighed in relief and shook my head. "You're forgiven, even though you technically didn't do anything wrong."

Something flickered in his eyes and he lowered his voice. "I'm just glad you're not still mad at me. Besides, I know you'll figure out you're in love with me eventually." I started to say something but he placed his fingers against my lips to silence me. "And I promise you, Bella…I can wait for a long, long time."

My mind raced. I wanted to say "_You don't have to wait that long_", but something held me back. Perhaps it was the nerves, which reminded me that I was just as inexperienced with new relationships as Jacob was. But he had just reassured me that I could explore this possibility at my own pace, which was comforting. I reached up and squeezed his hand, giving him a large smile.

"So, Jake…what do you want to do today?"


	3. Chapter 3 My Only Chance?

Shopping was not exactly what I had in mind for our day together, but there we were, on our way to the mall in Port Angeles. Jacob had jokingly suggested cliff diving, but then mentioned how he didn't have a suit that fit him anymore and needed one for the funeral. I had giggled at the thought of Jacob trying to fit into some of his old dress clothes — he had grown so much in the last few months that his pants would probably hit him above the knee.

I held my hand out of the window of the Rabbit and tried to touch as much sun as possible. Seemed a waste to spend the rare sunny day indoors at the mall, but Jacob had promised to make it a quick trip. He hated shopping as much as I did.

"After we get back, we'll spend the rest of the afternoon outside," he suggested, reaching over to take my free hand. I didn't flinch away and wondered if he'd noticed. We sat quietly like that for the rest of the drive.

Jacob kept his promise about being a fast shopper. He bought the second suit he tried on, and I tried to hide my mild disappointment as we left the mall. Seeing Jacob in a suit took my breath away. He was stunning — a grown man. I could have watched him parade out in different outfits all afternoon and been perfectly content. I wasn't the only one either. The saleslady had obviously been impressed, and I overheard the word "muscles" in a whispered conversation with her coworker as we checked out. Jacob was unfazed, holding my hand or rubbing my arm while we waited for his father's credit card to be approved.

Back in the car, Jacob asked, "Well, what did you think of the one I got?"

_You looked beautiful, magnificent, amazing, spectacular…_ A million adjectives were on the tip of my tongue, but all I could get the nerve to say was "It looked really good on you."

"I have to make sure not to get angry in that one! I don't have too many clothes left that fit anymore." We both laughed. It was easy.

Several minutes passed in comfortable stillness. I was starting to contemplate taking his right hand, his hands, for once, were on the steering wheel at the ten and two position, when Jacob suddenly gasped. He swerved violently to the shoulder of the road, his eyes wide and his knuckles white against the steering wheel. He inhaled sharply and trembled, his head whipping around to the woods just beyond the road.

"Bella!" he shouted, twisting around to stare at me in panic. "She's here! I smell her! The bloodsucker…"

"Victoria!" My voice couldn't hide my horror. I reached for Jacob's arm but he shrugged me off roughly.

"What should I _do_?" he implored himself, reaching up to hold his head as if he were in pain. "I can't leave you unprotected, but what if this is our only chance…we could finish this now!"

He sat up quickly, clenching his shaking hands into fists. His eyes darted left and right as he searched the tree line and his nostrils continued to flare as he held onto Victoria's scent. I swear that if his ears could move, they'd be twitching to hear any sound to indicate that she was close.

I felt panicked thinking of Jacob out there, alone, seeking out Victoria. I shuddered slightly at the thought of her cat-like stalking, and a vision of Jacob lying twisted, broken at her feet, flashed through my mind. I touched his arm again, and this time he turned to look at me.

"Don't leave me," I pleaded over the sound of my pounding heart, the vision still central in my mind. "I have my cell — I'll call Sam and the pack will be here in 10 minutes. If she's here, you'll still be able to catch the trail then! Just please, stay here!"

He gazed at me, his trembling ebbing. He saw the fear on my face and misinterpreted it. His eyes softened. "Bells, honey, don't be afraid. She won't touch a hair on your head while I'm around, I swear. I can take her down so easily — just like the last one in that meadow — and then it will all be over and you won't have to be scared any more."

I shuddered, gripping him frantically. "No, Jake! You would really go out there alone and leave me here wondering if you were hurt, or…or _dead_?!" My voice raised an octave; I knew I sounded hysterical, but I didn't care. "You can't leave me here alone! Don't leave me!"

Understanding flickered in Jacob's eyes. He stroked away the tears that had begun to roll down my cheeks and sighed, sounding defeated. I knew he was disappointed, but I didn't care. "Don't call. I'll phase so they'll know exactly what's going on." I started to protest but he stopped me. "I'll stay right inside of the tree line until they arrive…I promise I won't run off. And someone will always be watching the car; you'll be safe."

Even with his brothers to help him, I was terrified for Jacob. As he reached for the handle, I squeezed his arm to stop him. His glance back at me felt half-human. He was relying on his instincts to know what was going on. I wished he'd come back to me for even a second. I shuddered to think of the danger he'd be facing. _What if this is the last time I see him_?

"What about you?" I moaned, taking his hand roughly and twisting my fingers into his. "You won't be safe…you'll be out there with her, and if something happens, I swear…"

He touched my cheek tenderly, but his words were urgent. "Bella, I have to phase now."

"Jake!" The cry burst from me before I leapt across the seat to press my lips fiercely against his. He needed to know, and it might be my only chance. My face felt nearly as hot as his mouth on mine, but I couldn't stop myself. Hot tears spilled from my eyes and mingled with our lips. He growled and twisted one hand in my hair as he kissed me back frantically. I wasn't ready for it to end when he broke away and immediately turned to sprint for the woods, pausing only once to glance back at me, the hint of a smile on his face, a flicker of sudden comprehension in his eyes.

I spent the next half hour shaking, my knees drawn up to my chest. My eyes searched the trees for any hint of Jacob, but I never heard or saw a thing. I was more preoccupied with worry for Jacob than I was with any other thought; however, even though I tried to keep them out, flashes of Edward's pale face found their way into my mind.

I was following his advice. I was going to try to find happiness. But I was still getting used to the idea that my happiness couldn't include Edward. I was still mourning the death of a future I had wanted with all my heart.

But a new future was presenting itself, and I had to keep telling myself that it was okay to want it. I wasn't being disloyal — how could I be? Edward didn't even want me.

A howl sounded in the distance, followed by four answering calls. I strained my human ears to listen for any sign that a battle was taking place, or that Jacob was on his way back to me.

A figure suddenly emerged from the woods and my heart stopped. _Victoria_!? I let out a relieved sigh. No, the person was male, and he was running toward the Rabbit. _Jacob_?

"Embry," I said in relief as he reached the passenger side. My brief smile faded as I saw the look of fury on his face.

"We nearly had her!" he seethed. I wasn't used to seeing him without his usual grin and I shrunk back. "She must have run fifty, sixty miles west after she first caught our scent…we could have caught up to her. But then Sam caught a new scent and called off the chase."

"A new scent?" I was confused.

"Vampire," he hissed. My heart couldn't help skipping, but I tried to appear calm.

"Was it one of the Cullen's? Would Sam recognize their scent?"

"I don't think it was one of them. This was a new scent…I've never smelled it before. Sam told us that he didn't want to risk the pack going in blindly against a new enemy, so he called us off. They're patrolling the area to try to learn more."

I only felt mild disappointment at the news. "So everyone is…okay?"

Finally Embry flashed a knowing smirk. "Oh yeah, Jake's fine. Actually, he's more than fine right now, even if he is disappointed that he didn't meet up with that leech."

My face burned as I realized everyone in the pack had probably seen our kiss replayed in Jacob's mind. "So, when is he going to come back and take me home?"

"That's why I'm here," he explained. "Sam needs Jacob to patrol with him and I'm supposed to take you back to Charlie at Sue's place. And then, it will be another long night. I'm on Bella Swan patrol tonight!" He grinned at me.

I tried to hide my disappointment as he climbed in and we started the drive to La Push. Embry was quite a speeder — _although I had experienced worse with Edward_, I thought with a mild wave of guilt. We were in front of Sue's house before I knew it. I grabbed Jacob's suit and waved a quick goodbye as Embry whooped and took off for the tree line.

Charlie and Billy were sitting at Sue's kitchen table when I entered. Sue was on the phone in the corner. There was no sign of Seth or Leah.

"Hey Billy," I said, hanging the garment bag on the doorknob. "Jacob went to go see Sam. He got a new suit to wear tomorrow. I promised him I'd give it to you." Billy gave me a knowing nod, his face looking more strained than usual. "Where are Leah and Seth?"

"Oh, they went out with some friends," he replied, throwing a glance at Sue, who met his eyes. The room fell silent except for the ticking of a clock and Sue's occasional murmers of "hmm mmm" to the person on the other line.

Charlie stood up. "Well, if you don't need me anymore, I'll go ahead and take Bella home." His eyes implored Sue, seeking reassurance that she was fine. I was touched by his concern for her. She didn't respond so he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair. "We'll see you both, um…tomorrow."

Sometime during the night I jolted awake, relieved to be out of my dream. The cold and hot arms were back, taking turns embracing me, but this time the icy restraints were taking over, monopolizing me until no trace of heat was left. Even though the chilled caresses were gentle, I wanted to push them away to find any sign of warmth I could, but it was gone.

I panted against my comforter where it was clutched in my fists. I didn't need a psychology degree to figure out what my subconscious was trying to tell me. I felt worry flood over me again and glanced at the clock. Just past three a.m. What was going on in the woods?

I listened for Charlie and barely heard his soft snores from down the hall. Tiptoeing to the window, I eased it open and shout-whispered, "Embry! Are you out there?" Silence answered me in the seconds that followed.

I tried again. "Embry, are you there?"

After a minute, a muffled voice called "Wait, I'm coming…give me a second!" Embry came into sight from between two houses across the street. He was fastening his shorts and then wrapping a leather cord around his wrist. He paused under my window. "Bella, is everything okay?"

I gnawed my lip anxiously. "Have you heard anything from Sam? What's going on…have they found Victoria?" I suppressed a shudder when I said her name. "Or anyone else?"

"Not as of a few minutes ago," Embry said with a chuckle. "Why? Are you actually scared, Bella? I would have thought that someone who ran with vampires would be a lot tougher that this."

His teasing put me at ease a bit. "I'm just worried…about the pack," I added quickly. "I've been around enough vampires to know that they're dangerous." My mind couldn't help silently adding _especially if you let them in your heart_.

"Does Jake know how much you really worry about him?" Embry asked bluntly. I sputtered, my ears growing hot. I opened my mouth and closed it quickly. Embry continued, "Because, Bella, if there's something there, you shouldn't hold yourself back. I know he would probably wait forever for you, but that's just cruel - to him _and_ to us. I don't want to be harsh, but you have no idea how much this affects everyone in the pack. And Jake would be good for you. Much better than any bloodsucker at least…"

I drew in my breath sharply and narrowed my eyes at him. "I appreciate that, Embry, but I think I know what is good for me."

"Do you?" His eyes were friendly, but his words were the harsh truth. "Do you really think loving a _vampire_ was good for you? You were in danger every day you were with him, and you've been a shell of yourself every day since he left. I don't mean to be insensitive, but you're missing everything good in your life. Family, friends…it is all right in front of you but you're too busy wallowing in self-pity to realize it."

His speech stung me and my stubborn nature wanted to respond back, but there was no denying he was right. I had only just begun to realize it on my own, but hearing someone else say it made it seem real somehow — more acceptable for my healing heart to grasp. I sighed before giving a weak smile to Embry and grabbing the window to lower it.

"Tell Jake I'll see him tomorrow."


	4. Chapter 4 The Funeral

The day dawned appropriately, with clouds and a light drizzle. I met Charlie at the kitchen table, already dressed in my dark green dress with matching flats. Today was not a day to risk heels and a twisted ankle. He had already made himself some toast and was tugging on some black dress socks.

"Don't you have any navy socks, Dad?" I mused, looking up and down at his outfit — blue suit pants and jacket, white shirt and a tie that looked like it belonged on a college professor in the 1970s. His black dress shoes on the floor near his chair looked equally dated.

"Hmmph," he grunted, keeping his eyes down. Looked like Charlie would be quieter than usual today — I understood. I respected his space and didn't say anything further as I made a bowl of oatmeal.

I was surprised when we pulled up to a typical funeral home on the road leading to La Push. I had expected something a bit more _ceremonial_ for the death of one of the Quileute elders. Charlie, as if reading my mind, explained that this was only the first step of the day's services. We would be going to the reservation for a small gathering at Sam Uley's home later in the afternoon.

"The tribal leadership will be holding a private, ceremonial burial immediately after this. I thought we could just go home until we have to be at Sam's," he stated simply. I nodded my agreement.

As soon as we entered the building, I felt my heart pounding in my ribs. In any other setting, Jacob would be easy to find since he towered over most people. But here, several dark heads were visible above the crowd, and I craned my neck looking for him. I recognized Sam and Quil, but Jacob wasn't anywhere. In fact, most of the pack were absent.

I followed Charlie to where Sue, Leah and Seth stood next to the closed casket. I felt incredibly out-of-place surrounded by tearful mourners. Sue had a fiercely determined look on her face, as if daring her eyes to well up. Leah and Seth were wincing with what appeared to be physical pain, but had also kept the tears at bay. The hole in my heart opened slightly when I saw them, remembering for the first time in days the pain that came with loss. They leaned against one another for support, looking tired and ragged. With a gasp, I realized that Leah had cut her beautiful hair incredibly short.

"Sue," Charlie said, enveloping her in a touching hug. She hugged him back, but remained rigid and unemotional. Seth wouldn't make eye contact with me, so I approached Leah and held out my hand. She stared at it for a moment, and I saw her eyes flicker to Sam, who had moved toward us and was now a few feet to my right. Finally, she accepted my handshake.

I startled when my skin first touched hers. Seth snapped his gaze to me, pleading with his eyes for me to remain calm. Leah's hand was like fire. I dropped it almost immediately and turned to Sam, who just nodded and walked away. "Seth?" I said, turning back to him.

He broke from his sister to give me a quick, blazing hug and whispered, "Both of us, can you believe it? Even Leah, and we always thought…" His whisper ceased.

_We always thought that only males could transform_.

He straightened up and turned back to his family. Without a word I walked back to where Charlie had settled himself near Billy. Jacob was still nowhere to be found.

"Bella," Billy said, and answering my unasked question, added, "Jacob had some things to take care of on the reservation — helping Old Quil with some preparations and all. He was hoping that you'd come over there after all this is done." He waved his hand at the crowd.

"Guess he won't get to wear that suit after all," I said. "I wonder if it will still fit in a month." Billy snorted quietly and exchanged a knowing smile with me.

Of course I wanted to go to Jacob. So much had happened in the last twenty four hours that I felt like we would need twenty four more just to make sense of it. I was anxious to talk with him. And, I realized with a quick blush, I was looking forward to touching him again. After my dream the night before, I was craving his soft warmth.

I looked at Charlie, who wasn't listening, sitting stone-faced and clenching his jaw the way he always did when he was upset. I knew Charlie, and I knew he'd want some solitude today to grapple with his feelings following Harry's death.

I touched his arm, snapping him out of his cheerless trance.

"Will you be okay if I'm with Jacob until the reception at Sam's later today? If you want me to stick around, I'm fine with that…"

"No, no, don't worry about it, Bella," he seemed relieved. "I think I might just go down to the river for a few hours anyway — seems a fitting way to say goodbye to Harry."

"Well, make sure you change first. I'm afraid to see what your 'backup' outfit would be if you got that suit dirty." The corners of his mouth twitched upward for the first time that day.

I was surprised at the nervousness in my stomach as I rode to La Push with Billy and Rachel. I vaguely remembered Rachel from the times visiting Charlie as a child. She was still a bit on the short side — funny, considering how tall her brother was — but had filled out to become quite curvy. I felt like a child next to her. We made small talk about her college and her major, and what my college plans might be. She was heading back to school the next morning to be back in time for classes on Monday.

I was disappointed when Jacob wasn't at home when we arrived. The anticipation of seeing him again was starting to frustrate me. Billy left immediately for Quil Ateara Sr.'s home and Rachel took me down to a spot on First Beach where most of the reservation community had already gathered — sitting on blankets.

The hum of subdued conversation surrounded us for nearly a half hour as I watched Jared and Quil arrange wooden planks from the parking area to the beach. Soon I noticed Embry helping Billy navigate his wheelchair across the planks to get to the beach. He was dressed in a large woven headdress and, what I assumed was, traditional Quileuite dress. Behind him were Old Quil and Sam, attired in similar clothing. Rachel had seen some of her former schoolmates and friends and gone to sit with them, so I settled myself by Emily, who looked tired and had a smudge of flour next to her nose. She smiled gratefully at me and closed her eyes, only opening them when the first of the drums began. A beautiful voice began to sing, wailing in a language I didn't understand. The hairs on my arms stood on end. It was gorgeous and heartbreaking.

Two large men in wolf costumes and traditional paint carried a large canoe to the sand, setting it down gently. I inhaled sharply as I realized one was Jacob. He looked magnificent and masculine. His eyes were intense as he watched six suit-clad Quileutes carry Harry's coffin toward the canoe, fitting it between the seats in the hull. I was vaguely aware of Sue and Leah coming forward to place items in the canoe: a frying pan, fishing net, some sort of meat wrapped in paper… My eyes couldn't tear themselves away from Jacob as the singing swelled and quiet sobs broke out around me.

Even when Old Quil rose and began to chant in that same beautiful, unfamiliar language, I never looked away from Jacob's strong, glorious form. My heart was filled with love for him — it was almost too much. He was totally focused on the ceremony, but as the six suited men stepped forward to help lift the canoe with the coffin inside, I saw his eyes shift to me for a fraction of a second and I was so overcome by my emotions at that moment that two tears slipped and fell down my cheeks. I reached up and felt them in surprise.

Emily touched my shoulder. "Come with me, I need some help back at the house."

We stood up and I threw a look behind my shoulder where Jacob and seven others were reverently carrying Harry Clearwater into the woods.

"They put the canoe on stakes to raise it off the ground, and will bury him in a week or so, once everyone has had an opportunity to give a gift for Harry to use in the next life," Emily was explaining to me as we arrived at her and Sam's cheerful little house.

Luckily, it had stopped drizzling, because the house would never have been able to accommodate all of the guests she was expecting. As she opened the door, I was greeted with several delicious fragrances.

"They'll bury the canoe too?"

"Mmm hmm," she nodded, grabbing her apron and pointing to the stovetop, where several pots were waiting. "Turn all of those on medium heat and start stirring. I need to go next door and get the fish that I left baking in the Connweller's oven." She left and I got to work. Soon the kitchen was filling with condensation from the various bubbling pots. I peaked into her oven to see some sort of steak-like meat in a large dish, surrounded by simmering vegetables.

"Whale steaks," she said, coming into the kitchen with her hands filled with an enormous baking dish. Sam followed her, his headdress in his hands. "Our tribe is allowed to catch one whale a year, and we save the meat for those occasions that call for it — weddings, funerals, and traditional celebrations," she continued.

"And the death of an elder certainly applies," Sam said wearily, pausing to kiss Emily's forehead before disappearing, presumably to change.

"We should have enough food," Emily smiled. "Quil and Jared won't be here because they need to relieve Paul and Embry on patrol, and those two will probably want to go straight to bed. So we'll really only have four wolves; Sam, Jacob, Leah and Seth. There will be plenty left for the rest of the Tribe."

I nearly dropped the dish I was holding. "Quil's a werewolf?" I choked. "First Leah and Seth, and now Quil is a wolf too? Anyone else I don't know about?"

Emily's eyes were soft. "It was only a matter of time before Quil changed, Bella. It's in his DNA. But no, there are no more wolves for now."

At that moment, the first guests began to arrive, so we stopped talking and got back to work.


	5. Chapter 5 Everything is Different

An hour had passed and people were still arriving to mingle, eat, and offer their condolences. Charlie had made his appearance and left very soon after, obviously uncomfortable in the presence of so many mourning people. Emily kept me busy refilling serving platters and gathering empty plates and cups. My eyes searched for Jacob the entire time. The sight of him during the ceremony had only cemented the anticipation I had been feeling for the last twenty four hours. Even so, I had no idea what I was going to say to him.

The stream of guests had begun to ebb and I concentrated on tidying the living room while I had the chance. Before I could make a dent in the mess left behind, Emily came up to me as I was collecting paper plates.

"You're off duty now," she said. She took the stack from my hands and nodded toward the kitchen. Jacob's frame filled the doorway. As much as I wanted to run to him right away, I protested and turned to grab more abandoned cups. There was so much work to be done and I hated to leave Emily to do it alone. She stopped me again, her smile warm. "No, Bella. Thank you so much for helping, but Sam and I have it from here. Go on." She nudged me gently in the direction of the kitchen and I turned to Jacob.

He was gazing at me with smoldering eyes and my heart swelled. Never taking my eyes from his, I reached his side and took his hand. He squeezed my fingers gently and said, "Let's go."

**

I let him lead me as we walked, neither of us saying a word. My hand was clammy, whether from nerves or Jacob's body heat, I didn't know. We walked past his house to the garage where we had spent so many afternoons, and as we approached the door, my pulse quickened. I saw him glance at me out of the corner of his eye and wondered if he could hear my racing heart.

I settled in my usual spot, Jacob leaning against the worktable opposite me. I took care to tuck my dress under me, fussing with the hem, anything to avoid his eyes while I figured out what I would say.

He surprised me by ending the silence first. Taking a shaky breath, he stammered, "Bells, I've been waiting for you to kiss me like that for a long time. But I don't want to overanalyze it and make it something that it wasn't. I guess I don't know what I'm supposed to say. This is all new to me too." I peeked up at him through my lashes and saw that his face was red and he was twisting a wayward string on his shirt. I felt a flood of affection for him. "I think I know what you're feeling, Bella — as much as I try to be the confident one, I'm as nervous as you are. But you can talk to me, you know. Nothing is different."

I slowly looked up, my eyes meeting his. "You're wrong, Jacob. You _don't_ know what I'm feeling." He looked confused. I stood up, my eyes wide and my voice quivering. "But it's time you did."

I took my steps slowly, deliberately, toward him, never breaking eye contact as I came closer. I felt the heat radiating from his body before I pressed myself against him, gazing up into his face. "_Everything_ is different."

I reached up to stroke his face and he sighed softly against my touch, closing his eyes. I stopped my caress and he opened them again, looking down at me uncertainly.

"Kiss me, Jacob," I whispered. "Please…"

My hands slipped behind his neck to pull him to me. His lips were soft and tender as they met mine and I felt as though I were sinking into their warmth. He put a cautious hand on the small of my back and the other stroked my hair as I moved my mouth against his. All of my cares and concerns flew from my mind as I pulled him even closer, pressing my body against his wondrous heat and allowing a low moan to escape.

His response was joyous — "Bella!" he cried as he broke from the kiss to meet my eyes for an intense moment. Seeing the approval and hunger in my gaze, he crushed his lips to mine again.

I entwined my hands into his untidy hair roughly and his mouth left my lips to lavish my chin and neck with urgent kisses. His breath felt like fire against my skin. I sought his lips again with a gasp, opening my mouth slightly to caress his upper lip with my tongue. I felt feverish as we devoured each other's mouths. He tasted sweeter than I ever imagined. I placed my hands on both sides of his face and broke away to press my lips to his cheeks, his eyes, his forehead, before returning to his mouth to taste him once again. I never realized a kiss could be like this.

My hands found their way to his arms, where they explored his muscles. His breath hitched as I ran a hand down his abdomen, marveling at the rock-hard muscles underneath. I became aware of something else hardening against me…

He pulled away abruptly, gasping for breath, and turned from me, his ears pink. I stood there in wonder, my lips slightly swollen and my breath ragged. I reached for him, confused and aroused.

"Jacob?"

He took a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. "Damn, Bells, I wasn't expecting _that_." He smiled sheepishly, but with desire lingering in his dark eyes. "Just give me a second to calm down...if I don't, I'm afraid we won't be getting much talking done, and I really want to know what you're thinking right now." He laughed low in his throat, his chest still rising and falling rapidly from excitement.

I stepped away, but as soon as I did, he reached out to grab my hand again and held it for a minute while the flush left both of our faces. He again leaned against the worktable, this time pulling me against his chest.

After another moment, he spoke, his voice still shaking slightly.

"Well that was certainly a surprise. Are you going to tell me what that was all about? And yesterday in the car…" His voice trailed off uncertainly, but his eyes were bright and excited — his face looked cautiously hopeful.

I sighed and snuggled my face into his chest, where his scent was intoxicating. "I've been wrestling with myself a lot during the last few days," I admitted. "I've needed you for so long, as a comfort, a friend, but you deserved so much more than what I could give you…"

"But Bella…" he started.

"Let me finish," I said, slowly rubbing my thumb against the hot skin of his hand. "I realized that I needed you even more, but this time in another way — a way I honestly wasn't expecting."

I steeled myself. "When Edward left, a piece of me left with him…the piece that allowed me to love passionately. I was afraid that it was gone for good, because it was always tied to him."

Jacob swallowed, his jaw clenched. I felt his hands tremble slightly and I lightly kissed his chest to calm him. Saying Edward's name still pained me, but I certainly didn't want it to hurt Jacob. I looked up and met his gaze, and didn't look away as I said, "I wasn't a whole person, but around you I felt like that emptiness was bearable.

"And then, I realized it wasn't that you were making it bearable, it's that you were filling that void in my heart, and over time it's been healing. You fixed me. You fixed me," I repeated. "It took a long time to realize it, and a long time to convince myself that it was okay. I mean, you know how stubborn I can be!"

We both laughed and he gathered me in his arms. "Would you be mad if I said 'I told you so'?"

I punched his arm playfully, but then got serious. "I don't know how much I can offer you, Jacob. I'm still trying to figure things out, but if you're game...I'd like to figure them out with you." He beamed at me. "You know, I'm being really selfish here. I'm getting so much from you and all you get is some accident-prone girl who takes forever to realize what's right in front of her face."

"That's all I get?" he said, his voice getting husky and his eyes darkening. "Don't you know that's all I ever wanted?" His arms tightened. Jacob closed his eyes and grazed his nose across my forehead, inhaling deeply. "Mmm, you smell so sweet, Bells. I want to memorize this fragrance in case this is all just a really good dream."

I kissed the hollow of his neck gently. "If this is a dream, it's the best one I've had in a long time." Jacob tilted my chin up to press his lips to mine. Softly, he kissed me, matching my contented sigh with one of his own.

**

We stayed in the garage like that for over an hour, whispering our excited revelations to each other, stopping only to embrace softly. Kissing him wasn't as awkward as I had feared. It felt natural. Before long we realized we couldn't remain in our little world forever. Jacob began yawning, and I kicked myself for not realizing that he was exhausted — only getting a few hours of sleep during the last 48 hours of patrolling and assisting with preparation for Harry's funeral. He tried to protest, but I pushed him out the door and playfully pretended to drag him back to his house.

"It's Saturday. I don't have to be home until midnight, and that's seven hours from now. You need to sleep, and I'll just hang out here until you can take me home."

Billy was nowhere to be found when we got to the Black house. Jacob immediately sprawled on the couch, his calves and feet hanging well off the end. His eyes were already closing when I sat in front of him, leaning back against his chest, and grabbed the remote. _The History Channel is always good to pass the time_, I thought to myself, flipping to a documentary about submarines and kicking off my shoes. I wasn't as comfortable as I could have been in sweats and a flannel, but at least this dress wasn't too itchy or the shoes too tight.

Jacob snored softly, and I smiled when I saw his peaceful face. It reminded me of watching him sleep the previous day, when I had stolen a kiss. I leaned forward again to inhale his fragrance and brush my lips against his softly. My Jacob…

The voiceover on the television was droning on in a soothing way, and I felt secure and comfortable against Jacob. My eyes began to close and I didn't fight it, rolling onto my side so he was spooning me, nestling into him as I drifted off.

**

I was awakened by the sound of someone clearing his throat. I sprung up, red-faced, to see Billy staring at us with an amused look on his face. Jacob, still half-asleep, grumbled a complaint and grabbed my waist to try to pull me back down. I tried to push him away but he was much stronger.

"Jake!" I hissed through my teeth, looking up at Billy apologetically, "Wake up…"

He opened his eyes and gave me an adorably sleepy grin before realizing his father was there, chuckling and shaking his head. "Hey Dad, what's up?" Jacob sat up, completely unconcerned.

"Oh, I just figured you might want to take Bella home before her father releases the hounds," he said with a smirk. I noticed for the first time that it was dark outside. "He's called twice since I got home, but you both looked so comfortable, I didn't want to wake you." His eyes twinkled playfully.

I blushed crimson. "What time is it?" I asked, glancing at the clock. One-fifteen.

_One-fifteen_?

"Oh, crap!" I cried, scrambling to my feet and looking around for my shoes. "Crap, crap, crap…" Jacob was still stretching on the couch, stifling a yawn. I grabbed his arm to try to pull him to his feet. "Jake, come _on_! I don't want him to worry, today of all days."

Jacob rubbed his eyes, but stood. "Technically, it's tomorrow, Bella."

I stopped long enough to give him a stern look, which made him and Billy laugh out loud but also made him move faster. We headed for the Rabbit and were on our way.

Jacob seemed very relaxed the entire way to my house. He had assured me that everything would be fine, because Charlie _loved_ him. He held my hand confidently, rubbing his thumb against the sensitive part between my thumb and forefinger. The night air was chilly, but I felt warm, still cooling down from hours snuggled against my own personal space heater.

Just as I expected, Charlie was awake and in the living room when we got home. Jacob insisted on walking me inside, even though I wanted to avoid Charlie saying anything to him. As we closed the door behind us, Charlie was in the doorway in seconds.

"Bella, thank goodness," he said, relief on his face. "I knew you were with Jacob, but I couldn't help worrying when you didn't call me to say you'd be late."

He was much less angry than I envisioned. In fact, he seemed just fine as he shook Jacob's hand and muttered a hello before turning back to me.

"Next time you two are out this late, I want a phone call, young lady. There's no reason for leaving me worried. Now, if you'll excuse me, I want to get some sleep — the fish are expecting me at the lake tomorrow bright and early." Kissing me on the top of my head, he murmured a goodnight and went upstairs.

I stared after him, my mouth agape. "Told you," Jacob's husky whisper sounded in my ear, his hot breath tickled. He had come up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I turned to lay my head on his chest. We stood like that for several moments before he sighed.

"I'd better get going. Sam's already going to be mad because I was supposed to be on watch at midnight when I dropped you off. I'll be around here tonight if you need me."

I whispered, "I'll always need you. No matter what happens, that will never change," before standing on my tiptoes to kiss him lightly. As he walked out the door, he trailed a warm hand against my cheek and I smiled.

"Goodnight," he murmured, lightly squeezing my chin before he turned and walked into the darkness.


	6. Chapter 6 Greedy

For the first time in months, my dreams were pleasant. When I awoke the next morning, panting lightly with a sheen of perspiration on my skin, I couldn't quite remember what they were about, but the tingly flush in my skin and a certain urgent ache in the pit of my stomach gave me a pretty good idea. I had a wonderful feeling that it would be a good day — the first time I had felt so optimistic in a while.

I smiled to myself, rolling over to see the beginning sunlight streaming in my window. For a split second, I glanced over at my rocking chair, out of habit — the last time I had woken in high spirits, Edward had been there to greet me. The smallest jolt of disappointment hit me, but the stronger feeling of eagerness to see Jacob overruled. I wondered if he was still outside on patrol. Bounding to the window, I cracked it open. Charlie's car was already gone, and I felt a twinge of guilt that he was probably sleepier than usual today.

"Jacob? I'm awake…can you come in?" I called softly.

Jacob answered out of the edge of the woods with a laughing bark almost immediately. Excited, I ran to the bathroom to splash some water on my face and brush my teeth before I heard a light knock on the front door. I stumbled down the stairs in typical clumsy fashion and threw open the door. Jacob stood there in his cutoff shorts, his muscles practically glowing in the early morning sun. Stunning. He held his arms open for me and I practically leapt into them. He carried me in, closing the door behind us.

"So, breakfast?" I asked as he set me down, taking his hand and leading him into the kitchen.

"I don't think Charlie will appreciate me eating half the food in the house," he laughed, catching me in another embrace, "but I _am_ hungry." His voice was heavy with longing as he leaned down to kiss me. My breath caught in my throat as he crushed his lips to mine eagerly, groaning lightly.

He trailed his lips to my ear, where he nibbled and whispered, "Do you want to tell me why you smell so enticing today? What were you doing in your room all night, bad girl?"

I pulled back to look at him in confusion. "I didn't do anything. A smell? I haven't changed my soap or shampoo…" The realization of what he was smelling hit me and my face flooded with color. My dreams must have aroused me more than I realized. _Damn his wolfish senses_! "Oh!" I stammered, pushing away from him and looking down, mortified to meet his eyes. He chuckled and pulled me back to him firmly.

"Don't be embarrassed, Bella," he said in a low voice. "It's incredibly…sexy."

He cupped my chin in his hand and raised my face so our eyes met. My discomfort dissolved when I saw him. Jacob's eyes were dark with desire as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

"Mmmm, Bella," he groaned. "So sweet…it's intoxicating!"

I wanted to say something, but before I could, he pulled me firmly against him and twisted his strong hands in my hair, tugging it lightly. He tilted my head back to expose my neck to his lips and exploring tongue. I gasped, feeling the familiar ache that had started to wane from my dream return. His touch was urgent, rougher, but in a very good way. Certainly nothing like I had experienced with Edward.

Jacob's teeth grazed my earlobe and his ragged breathing made my mind race. He hands ran down the back of my threadbare shirt and over my rear. I was suddenly aware of my bare legs — I only had an old, cutoff T-shirt and some underwear on — they were chilly and I wanted every inch of them to be against Jacob's hot skin. I couldn't stifle my moan as he lifted me and I wrapped my legs around him. He spun me around so my back was against the wall and I surrendered to the intense urges of my body, grinding against him unabashedly, feeling his arousal respond between us.

"Jacob!" I cried, throwing my head back and exposing my neck to his warm tongue again. His mouth set my skin on fire as it tickled the hollow of my throat. I felt my nipples harden against the thin fabric of my shirt. He must have noticed too because he broke away from me and looked down. I arched my back and he nestled his face between them, inhaling my scent and rubbing his face into my skin.

I wriggled slightly to press the aching fire between my legs against the growing bulge in his pants. He responded by thrusting his hips against me and I could feel myself losing control as his hardness rubbed against my thin panties.

He held my hips and moved me up and down as I responded with my own thrusts…moving faster and faster, my breath coming in short pants now, my hips moving up and down. Jacob pulled back to gaze into my eyes as he rubbed himself against me. I felt an unfamiliar fire begin to burn in my belly, growing bigger and hotter. It felt so good, and I reached for it, closing my eyes and moaning loudly.

"Oh, Jacob…oh God, Jacob…JACOB! Oooohhhhh!" I cried, squeezing my eyes shut and digging my nails into his shoulder as my aching center exploded with throbbing wave after wave of pleasure. I tightened my legs around his middle and he pressed himself forcefully against my pulsating core.

My muscles trembled and my legs felt like jelly as the throbbing slowly waned and Jacob gently lowered me back to the floor, holding me securely as he did. I couldn't speak; I was astonished by the sensations that had rippled through my entire body. It was so much better than I ever imagined.

He nuzzled my cheek and neck. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," he sighed, inhaling through his nose greedily, his lids half-closed.

My panties felt incredibly damp. I knew the scent of my arousal must have been more than Jacob could resist, because as soon as I was steadily on my feet, he dropped to his knees and kissed my stomach through my shirt. Grasping my hips firmly with his large hands, he bent down. Before I realized what he was planning, he was rubbing his nose and lips softly against the silk of my underwear, moaning erotically as he did. A low growl escaped his throat.

"God, Bella. You're mouth-watering. I wonder…" his voice trailed as one hand started to come around toward my core and inch its way toward the edge of my panties. His growl intensified, sounding primal and incredibly sexy.

"Exquisite," he murmured.

I gasped. That one word stopped me in my tracks, and I was suddenly reminded of Edward — it's a word he had used quite often. I grabbed Jacob's hand with my own to stop him, because I wasn't quite ready for him to touch me so intimately — especially now that another man had entered my mind and wouldn't leave as much as I tried to ignore him. I could hardly believe I had allowed it to go as far as it had, even before Jacob's choice in words had taken me out of the moment.

He seemed to come to his senses, looking up at me with wide eyes, then back to my damp crotch and quickly back up to my face, a blush filling his cheeks for the first time.

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…I understand that's…"

I pulled him up to me to kiss him deeply, trying to concentrate on him and only him. "I would love to be ready to do something like that with you, Jacob Black," I whispered to him. "But I'm not, and I don't think you are either. I should have stopped this much earlier, but I was being greedy — I'm sorry. I just don't want to give you the wrong impression, and," I took a deep breath, "if we're going to try being a couple, I want to do it right and not rush things."

He grinned from ear to ear. "Aww hell, Bella, I'm not sorry at all. You don't know how incredible that was — to be able to make you feel like that." His eyes focused in mine intently. "I've dreamed about holding you, kissing you like that for so long. I'm glad you were greedy…you should think of yourself more often than you do anyway."

He released me after giving me another kiss on the forehead and couldn't help saying, "Now, what was this you said about breakfast?"

**

One hour, eight eggs, six sausage links and six pieces of toast later, Jacob finally stopped eating and leaned back in his chair, patting his stomach and grinning at me. I had spent most of the last hour reading the newspaper, when I wasn't marveling at Jacob's never-ending appetite.

"So," he started. "I was thinking that we should go on a proper date. There's more to me than just what you see in the garage, you know. I know how to romance a chick."

I snorted. "I think one of the first steps to romance is not calling your girlfriend a 'chick.' But that sounds like a nice idea, if you agree that we can go Dutch."

Jacob feigned confusion. "Dutch? Do you want me to dress in little wooden shoes or something?" We both laughed — it made me feel more relaxed than I had been in a while.

I explained the concept of modern dating to a befuddled Jacob, smiling warmly at his cluelessness. He acted so confidently when we were close; it was nice to see that he really was unsure at times — I felt as though it put us on an even playing field.

"You mean I don't have to break my bank taking you out? This 'Dutch' thing sounds awesome!" Jacob said, jokingly. "But seriously, if that's what you really want to do, then it's fine with me. I can spoil you in other ways."

As he said this, he scooted his chair closer and reached down to take my feet. He rubbed them with his warm hands, throwing out the occasional suggestion for our date.

"Dinner and a movie sound so corny," he said. "Maybe we could play some miniature golf!"

An image of me tripping over a golf ball or twisting my ankle in a hole flashed through my mind and I gritted my teeth. "Anything that doesn't involve coordination? After my last incident with the motorcycle; I think I should give Charlie a break from having to shell out another co-pay."

"How about the aquarium in Seattle?" Jacob suggested. "We could leave after lunch, get there in 3 hours and then get some dinner at the little café they have there. We went on a field trip there when I was eight and I've always wanted to go back. And no coordination is necessary…"

"That's a great idea," I enthused. "They were talking about building one in Phoenix before I left, so I've never actually been to an aquarium. But I don't know if Charlie will agree to the two of us going to Seattle." I tapped the newspaper on the table. "I guess there's a lot of gang activity right now — five unsolved murders in the last few days…he's been muttering a lot about how big cities just aren't safe."

Jacob looked disappointed, but quickly recovered. "That's okay…Seattle would be more of a weekend trip anyway…" He stopped abruptly, realizing what he was saying. "Not that we're going to be going away on any overnight trips…or, not right now…umm, I mean…uhh…" He looked adorable when he stammered.

I touched his hand. "I know what you meant."

We traded ideas back and forth for another few minutes. Bowling was out. I cringed to think of how many people I could injure with my clumsiness and a 10-pound ball. Plus, my back was still aching from my cliff-diving debacle. It was still March, so there were no outdoor concerts or performances. Choices outside of a movie were limited.

Suddenly, Jacob had a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Hmmm, I think I know what we could do…but it would be kind of risky. Say, Bella, how opposed are you to breaking the law?"


	7. Chapter 7 The Date

As much as I pried, Jacob wouldn't tell me what he had planned for our date on Friday. Luckily for him, he had to patrol that afternoon and I had to catch up on some homework that I had avoided all of spring break — otherwise I would have interrogated him for hours.

Being alone with my thoughts was less painful than it had been in months. I felt warm when I thought about Jacob — and hot when I thought about our close encounter that morning. It was more than I had ever done with Edward, though not because I hadn't wanted to. I sighed aloud as I thought of all the times Edward had stopped me when my ardor became too much for him to handle.

And yet, I couldn't deny that part of my heart was still conflicted. I didn't think it possible to be in love with two people. However, the decision had been made. Edward didn't want me, and Jacob did. I couldn't control that. What I could control is what I did from now on. And I loved Jacob. _You still love Edward, too_, my subconscious reminded me.

"Shut up," I growled aloud to myself. The numbness that had plagued me for months after Edward's departure had been slowly fading, and it was being replaced by a bit of anger toward him. How dare he still live in my heart, after all I had gone through? Who was he to whisper advice in my ear? _Be happy_? I couldn't believe I had flung myself off a cliff a few days earlier to hear a voice that I now wished would go away. It was hard enough to move on, but I was determined to be fair and good to Jacob — he deserved my love and I wanted to give it to him.

I was angry that something as simple as a murmured word by my new boyfriend could interrupt an intimate moment with memories of my former vampire love. _Former love_? I shrugged my shoulders. I'd always love Edward passionately, but I just had to accept that he was the past, even if I didn't want to. There was no future with him. He had decided that without consulting me, and part of me seethed with anger because of it, even while a larger part of me still longed for him somewhat. I was a confused girl!

The afternoon faded into dinnertime as I finished the novel we had been assigned for English — I didn't like senior year American Literature as much as I had enjoyed British Lit. the year before, but I had to admit that Samuel Beckett's theater of the absurd was a welcome escape from my own bizarre life. I packed the book in my backpack for the next day and tidied up before heading to the kitchen.

I started some vegetables, knowing Charlie would be home soon and would want some of today's catch for dinner. As the asparagus steamed, I looked at my calendar for the week. Ugh. Work on Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, which left Tuesday for the bulk of my schoolwork. I might not even see Jacob again until our date. I sighed audibly — it was going to be a long week.

**

I was right — the week crept by. School was mundane. Mike was avoiding me, embarrassed over getting sick in my presence. I wanted to tell him that it wasn't a big deal, but honestly, I enjoyed the break from his hovering. Jessica and Lauren were their usual unfriendly selves, not that it bothered me anymore. Luckily, I had Angela and Ben to keep me company during the many conversations that excluded me at the lunch table.

I hoped that Jacob was getting enough rest — I knew that Sam would have him patrolling as much as possible. He only had time to call me for a few moments Wednesday night as I was changing out of my work clothes.

"I'll pick you up around 4:30 on Friday," he told me. "Wear something nice, but make sure you pack a comfortable change of clothing."

"Should they be all black, since we're breaking laws and everything?" I joked. "I mean, if we're going to rob a bank we don't want to be seen!"

"That's actually a pretty good idea," he said, and I couldn't tell if he was teasing or serious.

I changed my clothing four times before I finally settled on black pants and a purple and silver flowing top that tied at the back of my neck. I couldn't wear a bra with it, but luckily it had several layers to it, so I felt modest. With a sad smile, I realized that Alice had chosen the shirt for me the last time we had shopped together. I packed my change of clothes — dark jeans, bra, and a black sweater with quarter-length sleeves. I also wore a nervous smile — feeling more excited than I had in a long time. To be honest, I couldn't wait to find out what Jacob had planned for us.

Charlie had a permanent grin as he looked at me sitting in our living room, my knees bouncing anxiously as we waited for Jake to arrive. A faint knock at the front door caused me to jump slightly and Charlie beat me to the door.

I peeked around my father and gasped. Jacob was wearing the suit he had purchased the previous week. He looked amazing and I immediately felt under-dressed. I gave him a large smile as Charlie huffed, turning into Chief Swan the moment he opened the front door.

"Jacob," he said gruffly, shaking his hand. Jacob looked amused as Charlie gave him a hard stare. "Bella must be home by 1 a.m. I hope I don't need to call Billy tonight."

"Oh, no sir!" Jacob said, solemnly, his eyes still laughing. "I _always_ follow the rules. Don't worry about a thing." Then he winked at me, brazenly. I stood there, shocked and amused.

Finally, Charlie smiled and clapped Jacob on the back. "I know she's in good hands. You two have a good time." He stepped back so we could both walk out of the door.

We started the drive to Port Angeles. I kept stealing glances at Jacob out of the corner of my eye. He looked like a model in his outfit, and staring at him made me feel breathless. I noticed he was peeking at me as well and my heart began to pound. My body reacted in another way as well and I blushed and wondered if Jacob was aware — if he was, he didn't say anything.

We arrived at the restaurant and it was a perfect choice. Even I was a bit overdressed, but it didn't matter. During the next hour and a half, we feasted on steak, vegetables, bread, and wonderful conversation. As I had requested, Jacob allowed me to pay for my own meal.

By the time we left, it was past seven and the sun was setting. We walked around the small, quaint downtown area for a while, just enjoying the mild temperature and each others' company. Finally, Jacob turned to me with a mischievous grin and said, "Bella, are you ready?"

**

He wouldn't tell me where we were going. We drove to the outskirts of town, twisting through forest roads until we came to a large, dark, hotel-like building in the middle of nowhere. I saw a sign.

"Sol Duc Hot Springs?" I asked, reading. "What's this?"

Jacob was excited. "They don't open the springs for resort guests until next month, but they're warm and ready to go now! I thought we could go for a nighttime dip…it might help your sore back. Technically, it's trespassing, but I don't think they have resort security on patrol right now." He saw my skeptical look and stopped.

"You didn't tell me we were swimming. I have jeans with me! You should have told me to bring a swimsuit!"

"Oh," he said, looking embarrassed. "Well, I thought that maybe since it's dark and all, you'd just be comfortable in your, uh… In your underwear or something," he shrugged. "I'm just wearing shorts. Besides, the springs are really secluded. And I'll give you a backrub!" he promised.

I felt my pulse quicken. I moistened my lips and gave him a half smile. He could see that I was nervous so he stepped close and kissed my forehead. Without a word, he took my hand and our extra clothes and led me through the darkness. I couldn't see a thing, but I knew he was looking at me as we walked.

The springs really were secluded. We walked for several minutes before we came to a clearing and Jake said, "We're here."

My eyes adjusted to the dark and I saw several small steaming pools scattered in front of me. The moon shone brightly, giving the entire scene a silvery glow. Jacob's wide eyes and teeth stood out against his dark skin — he looked like a work of art. He dropped our bags and my hand, walking a few feet ahead. Without a word, he slipped his suit jacket off his shoulders and placed it gently on the ground. His tie was next, followed by his belt. His white shirt fell, revealing his strong, broad shoulders. His skin looked like shimmering onyx in the moonlight.

He turned to face me and looked intently in my eyes as he unfastened the button at the top of his pants. He stood there uncertainly for a moment, seeming to have an internal debate with himself. His eyes never left mine as he then bent over and dragged his pants down his muscular legs. When he stood back up, I noticed that the material of his boxer shorts was straining against something large and hard, and I gasped softly. With the moon behind him, he looked like a nighttime fantasy. I looked away nervously.

"I'll be in the pool, Bella," he said, his voice deep and husky.

I turned away, my mind racing. I wanted to follow him, to run my hands over his back, explore every inch of his hot skin. I needed to decide if I was ready for this, and I only had a few moments. My body was screaming at me to join him; my mind was conflicted. Suddenly, I remembered two words: _Be happy_. I knew at once what I was going to do, and unfastened my jeans with trembling fingers. Shivering in only my bra and underwear, I walked quietly to the springs.

**

Jacob had his eyes closed and his head back as I stepped into the pool. Keeping his eyes shut, he murmured, "I didn't know if you would come."

I glided to him, taking his hands under the water, and kissed his neck. "I knew you wanted me to," I confessed, shifting so I sat on one of his thighs. I was very aware of something pressing against the side of my hip, but I didn't pull away.

Jacob lifted his head to look at me for the first time. We stared at each other for several long seconds before I leaned to him, tenderly pressing my lips to his. My breath was shaky against his mouth. But I had no hesitation when I felt Jacob's tongue on my lower lip — I accepted it immediately, eagerly. His lips were so soft. I nibbled one, gently sucking it and tasting his sweet flavor. My eagerness surprised me. He moaned softly in his throat and that sound unleashed something in me.

All of the sexual frustration and desire I had held back for the last year bubbled to the surface. I grabbed the back of his head suddenly, urgently, knowing that this time I wouldn't be stopped. Jacob wouldn't stop me, and I felt recklessly liberated in realizing that. Every caution I had voiced in the past, every internal debate I had worked through, every single thought went out the window. I was so tired of being stopped, exasperatingly halted during every intimate moment. That wouldn't happen tonight.

He couldn't be close enough. I pressed against him roughly, pinning him against the side of the hot spring. We explored each other's mouths, our tongues dancing and chasing each other. I felt his erection growing against my stomach, and instead of frightening me, it only made me more excited.

Jacob's hands, impossibly hot against my back in the warm water, moved down to grip my backside firmly. I could feel the heat of his fingers through the fabric of my underwear. He broke away from my mouth and looked me right in the eyes as he lifted me to thrust our hips together, roughly. I gasped in surprise and pleasure, and we both moaned loudly.

"Does that feel good, Bella?" he growled. I nodded breathlessly. He did it again — and again — each time looking into my eyes and matching my groan with one of his own.

I felt my underwear ripping apart in his strong hands as he rubbed and squeezed my bottom until the satin was mere shreds pinned between us. He slowly lowered me back onto my feet in the water, and I whimpered as my center rubbed against his skin the entire way down. The remains of my panties fell away. My heart pounded nervously, but I had no intention of stopping. I had been stopped too many times before. I felt free, and incredibly turned on.

His fingers grazed my skin tenderly as he moved them up my back to my upper arms. Brushing my hair back behind my shoulders, he leaned down to kiss the side of my neck. His hands gently pushed the straps of my bra down my arm — first one side, then the other. I pushed him away urgently; he eyed me hungrily as I slowly reached behind to unfasten the clasp and then slipped my arms out of the loops. I held the fabric loosely in place as I watched his reaction.

There was a rumble deep in his chest as he gazed at my pale flesh spilling out of the lacy cups. Reaching up, he grasped the material at the top of one breast and pulled it slowly away from my body as I drew in my breath. I stood there, completely exposed in the moonlight, my chest rising and falling. His eyes were wide as he stared at me in lust and wonder. His hands, still on my shoulders, trembled slightly, but his face showed nothing but confidence and desire.

His fingertips tickled my skin as they slid across my collarbones — his skin was like dark night compared to my glowing paleness. One hand remained there while the other trailed down to the hollow between my breasts. Leaning forward, he kissed the spot before closing his eyes and crushing his nose and lips into my skin to inhale my scent. Both hands began an enticing tease, circling the sensitive flesh on my breasts in large circles, but always avoiding the nipples. They hardened in anticipation, but, again, he avoided them. I whimpered softly, arching my back.

"Mmmm, Jake…please," I pleaded in a whisper. He smiled — it was maddening — and gently ran his palm against the sensitive center of my peaks. I trembled as the sensation warmed the already heated ache in my loins. My hips pressed against his involuntarily and he snarled quietly and closed his eyes as my thigh brushed against his burning erection. I lifted one thigh in the balmy water and settled it between his legs, rubbing myself against his hardness, up and down, as he suddenly stopped his caresses.

The intense rumbling that had been sounding in his throat grew louder and he suddenly leaned down and kissed me forcefully. He tasted my mouth and broke away as I closed my eyes. I felt his warm tongue flick against my nipple and my eyes flew open as I squealed in delight. "Jacob!"

He lapped at me again. I pressed my legs together under the water as a wave of arousal hit me. He took the entire nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it before releasing it with a suckling pop. As he continued to lick and suck at my sensitive peaks, I was almost unaware that one hand was running down the side of my hip until, with a gasp escaping my lips, his fingertips barely grazed my sensitive folds, which were slick even under the water.

"God, Bella," he moaned against my nipple. "I can even smell you through the water! I need you, I need to taste you…I can't stand it!" I found myself being lifted out of the water and placed on the edge of the spring. The cool night air caused goose bumps to rise on my arms and chest and I shivered. But, Jacob's hands were creating burning trails on my skin as he parted my legs.

With a growl, he licked me from the bottom of my sex all the way up my folds to the sensitive nub that twitched under his tongue. I threw my head back and cried out. He began a chant as he devoured my clitoris — "Bella, Bella, Bella" — closing his lips to lightly pinch with the "B" and flicking his tongue against me with the "L." I was aware of a flush taking over my body even as the night breeze continued to blow cool against me.

I wasn't used to feeling cold when I was so close to Jacob, and the way I felt in the cool air immediately reminded me of intimate moments with Edward. I thought of his cold skin, his cool breath tickling my body — much like the light breeze that was sending a new chill through my body now. My brain and senses were jumbled as I processed the intense pleasure I was feeling. I couldn't help myself and I closed my eyes and thought of Edward touching me this way, the way I always wanted him to.

The urgent fire began to smolder in my core as I grasped hair in my hands. In my mind, it was the color of bronze, but in reality, it was dark black. "Oh yes," I hissed, reaching toward it. "Yesssss…oh God!" It built hotter and hotter until, _finally_, I felt like I had exploded, ripples of intensity racing through my body.

"Oh, I love you!" I cried aloud to the Edward in my head. "I love you!"

"I love you too, Bella," Jacob's husky voice answered.


	8. Chapter 8 Overcompensating

I pulled away abruptly, my fantasy dissolving as I opened my eyes to see a very excited Jacob hovering just over my naked body in the moonlight. His face looked immediately confused when he saw my uncertainty and I was hit with an enormous sense of guilt. What had I just done? Thinking about Edward while Jacob was bringing me to orgasm? What kind of twisted girl _was_ I?

I shook my head as my breathing slowed, trying to clear my thoughts as Jacob resumed his caresses, placing tentative kisses on my stomach as his eyes watched me, gauging my reaction. His eyes were so full of concern; of love…it made me feel even more horrible. Before I could stop it, a tear slid from the corner of my eye, and Jacob stopped what he was doing and looked aghast.

"Bella, are you okay?" he asked, trying but failing to hide the disappointment in his voice.

_No, I wasn't okay…I was a horrible person_. But I wouldn't let that affect Jacob. Not tonight. Not ever again. I would rid my mind of Edward Cullen — Jacob deserved that. I met his eyes, and couldn't bear the hurt that was welling there as he gazed at me. I smiled and stroked his cheek.

"I was just thinking about how wonderful you are. Please don't stop, Jake. It feels so good." It _did_ feel good — I felt so loved by him. And right then and there, I made the decision that, before the night was over, Jacob would feel that way too. He would feel loved.

I eased back into the water and pulled myself to Jacob's chest. His erection, which had started to ebb slightly, twitched against my stomach. I tilted my head up to meet his lips, and as I ran my tongue against his, one of my hands slid down his muscular stomach until it reached the elastic of his boxers. I tugged them down firmly and his arousal sprang free, brushing against my wrist as I pushed the material lower and straightened up. My fingernails trailed back up the front of his thighs and he hissed softly as I gently rubbed circles in the hair just above his massive member. With a quick breath, I grasped him in my hand — he was much larger than I imagined and his skin was burning hot. My body responded instantly. He groaned loudly against my lips and whispered, "Oh, Bella…"

I moved my hand hesitantly, up and down the length of his member a few times, unsure if I was doing it right. He responded with a growl, twitching his hips slightly with every stroke. His own hands traced along my sides and came around to cup my breasts firmly. My breath hitched and I let go of his erection to move my hands to rub his muscular backside, pulling him hard against me as he pinched my nipples. Every pinch made me buck my hips against him involuntarily. I could feel his heat against my swollen, slick core, and with a final thrust of my hips, the tip of his hardness grazed my entrance. We both gasped and broke our kiss to stare at each other. I was trembling over the unexpected contact, and his dark eyes rendered me silent.

Jacob took a few deep breaths before he continued. He leaned me back gently against the side of the hot spring and I raised my hands over my head. Jacob grasped one breast, squeezing it lightly, bending down to suck its sensitive peak. His other hand grasped his erection, and he brought it against my slick center. I sat up suddenly, stammering a bit, but he silenced me with a soft kiss, murmuring, "Don't worry, Bella. Just lay back."

His eyes met mine and I knew he understood the hesitation. Even so, I _wanted_ to feel him slide inside of me — every inch of my body screamed out for him to thrust into me, filling me completely; my hips rose to rub my throbbing core against his fiery skin, against my better judgment — but my vision of Edward forced me to keep a clear head, because I _wasn't_ ready.

He dipped just the tip of his enormous shaft into my wet opening, swirling it around my juices. I moaned as he did, and then cried out in surprise when he rubbed himself up and down my folds, pausing at my swollen clit to massage the head of his hard member back and forth rapidly.

"You're so wet for me, Bella," he moaned, a rumble growing in his chest. "You don't know how much I wish I could be inside of you…I want to feel you. So warm...God, honey…I can't…" His voice caught as I silenced him with a fierce kiss, pushing him until his back was against the edge of the steaming pool. I licked his upper lip while my hands grasped his maleness firmly and brought it against my center. I rubbed it against me, feeling how easily it slid against my skin, up and down my folds. I was so wet.

"Jacob," I whispered; my voice deeper than usual. "Mmm, it feels so...ooh...so good to have you against me like this." He growled softly. "You made me come," I said in a low voice, "and I want to do the same thing for you." The growls grew louder, and a primal look was in Jacob's eyes. I moved my hips up and down, pressing his erection against my folds, rubbing him in my wetness. "Do you like that?"

Jacob's growl became a quiet snarl as he nodded, bracing his hands behind him against the side of the spring. His eyes were dark now, and wolfish. His upper lip actually rose and his teeth glinted white in the silvery light. I stepped back so I could put my hands on him again, holding him firmly and moving my hand up and down his length. I looked down in the shallow water and could see him as my hands worked.

Jacob was huge. He was also slippery from my fluids, and it made my hand movements glide easily. Tentatively, I took my other hand and cupped his balls, ran my fingers along the insides of his thighs, explored every inch of his intimate areas I could. His sounds intensified and his hips jerked. As my fist moved on him, I leaned forward so my breasts lightly pressed against his stomach and kissed his chest. My lips tickled as they felt the rumbling from his growls, which were growing louder and louder. From the corner of my eye, I saw his knuckles turning white as he grasped the side tightly.

"Bella!" his eyes were wild. "Oh, fuck...Bella," he roared into the night air as his hardness twitched in my hands and I knew he was peaking. With a gasp, I was crushed against him roughly, his strong arms feeling like a vice on my torso and his hips grinding against me forcefully. I felt like I would break in two and clawed frantically at his chest and shoulders as he trembled against me. My eyes clouded with stars and I went slightly limp.

His face finally registered what he was doing and he released me, embarrassed horror on his face. I took a deep, shaky breath and he steadied me with his strong arms.

"I'm so sorry, Bells!" he said in shock. "I don't know why I did that…are you okay?"

His hands roamed along my body — if I hadn't still been throbbing in pain, it may have turned me on. I turned from side to side, straining to see my hips and back. I would be bruised in the morning. I turned to see Jacob with his hands fisted in his hair, muttering. "So stupid! Way to ruin a moment, Jake."

I reached up to take his hands away from his head. "I'm fine, Jacob. Seriously, it's okay." After a moment, he relaxed, and gently held me against his body. "I think you were responding to your wolf instincts there — I don't think it was a conscious reaction."

"Even more reason to be worried, Bella!" he exclaimed. "I don't want to hurt you...I'd...well, I'd rather die than hurt you like that. I think I'm going to talk to Sam about it and see if its something I can control for next time…"

I stopped him with a squeeze. "Next time?" I couldn't help asking, a smile on my face and a blush in my cheeks.

His russet skin flushed too. "Well, yeah…if you want to."

I may have been unsure about my lingering feelings for Edward, and about where I wanted to be in my relationship with Jacob, but there was one thing of which I was sure. The physical aspect of a relationship was better than I could have ever imagined. And I wanted more.

I felt a split second of sadness that I had never experienced that with Edward, which was quickly replaced with anticipation for future encounters with Jacob.

"I can't believe that actually happened," Jacob was saying with a soft chuckle. "I wasn't expecting it to go that far. And hearing you say that you love me…" He sighed. "It's more than I could have ever hoped for."

I winced internally at the guilt that rose quickly to interfere in what should have been a tender moment. It hadn't been Jacob I had been professing my love for.

"I knew you wouldn't stop me, and I didn't want to stop myself — it felt too good." I looked down, trying to keep my turmoil from being apparent. "Do you really think we were ready for all that?" I whispered. "It was amazing...so amazing, but we've only been together for a little while..."

"Bella, I've been with you since the beginning," Jacob told me softly, meeting my eyes. Seeing my hesitation, he faltered and his face fell. "Do you regret it? You're not…upset or anything, are you?"

Looking at the panic and worry on his face, I shoved any uncertainty back, ignored the vampire pictured in my mind, and smiled at Jacob. "Of course not, Jake. It was wonderful. I…just don't want to ruin what we have by complicating it with all this physical stuff too quickly. You're too important to me…"

Jacob's voice was gruff in my ear. "Oh, Bella. It won't, it won't! I feel closer to you than I ever have…God, I love you so much, honey." Tears welled in my eyes as we held each other close and I allowed his professions of love to sink in. Edward remained fixed in my thoughts.

I didn't respond.

***

Jacob took me home, wearing a permanent smile the entire time. We were an hour early, to which he joked about "bonus points with Charlie."

At my front porch, I kissed him tenderly as he assured me he would be on patrol for the rest of the night and that I should get a good night's sleep. The moment I was inside, I raced for my room, tears already forcing their way down my cheeks as I fought to stifle the sobs rising in my throat.

I felt like the vilest person in the world. My heart had betrayed me — making me think I was over Edward and it was safe to move on with Jacob. And now it was too late to turn back. I would have rather died than to hurt my Jacob, but I should have stopped us before we took such an important step. I hadn't been emotionally ready, even if my body had been begging for it. Why hadn't I stopped things?

Involuntarily, my guilt dissolved into despair as I realized that I would never experience something so amazing and erotic with Edward. The hole ripped open once again and I dropped to my knees.

"No, no, no…stop it, Bella," I said out loud, covering my ears and shaking my head. I forced the hole closed. "He's gone, and he wouldn't have done anything like that with you even if he were here!"

Now what? I absolutely wouldn't break up with Jacob, but it was clear that I still wasn't able to give him my whole heart. I was disappointed in myself — Jacob was still playing second fiddle, and that was so unfair for him. But at the same time, I wanted to be utterly selfish and keep experimenting with my werewolf boyfriend — I had never felt such intense pleasure in my entire life.

More importantly, I wanted to see if the love I did have for Jacob could heal me — mend the hole in my heart until it didn't open anymore — and if it could grow to eclipse that hurt I had experienced. I recognized that I had a long way to go. My thoughts of Edward had taken me by surprise. _Edward_. I sighed. Thinking of him now, there was an aching pain, a sad yearning and feelings of regret. I glanced over to the corner of my room, where he had remained so many evenings while I slept.

"It should have been you," I whispered to the empty rocking chair, my eyes welling up again. "Why wasn't it you? Why did you leave me? I'm so angry with you…sometimes I don't know whether this passion I feel in my soul is from love or hate!" I cringed, quiet for a few moments, almost as if I were waiting for a response.

"Love," I finally admitted in a low murmur. "Damn it, it's still love…"


	9. Chapter 9 Talking It Out

I woke up Monday morning feeling like I had taken several steps backwards. The intense pain that had been my constant companion for months was no longer all-consuming — perhaps I had grown beyond that — but I was still conflicted. This time, only a few days before, I thought I had finally figured out my life. Now I felt uneasy, like I had done something shameful. I wouldn't dare voice that thought to Jake though. I had only spoken to him once since, and our phone conversation that afternoon had been filled with his joyous sighs and murmured affections. I had remained a bit more reserved.

I still missed him though. This weekend had been rough. Sam was running the pack night and day, trying to locate the strange scent they had come across while chasing Victoria. Between patrols, finishing the homework I had neglected during my spring break, and my job at Newton's, we rarely had the opportunity to see each other. However, Jacob had been able to schedule a "day off," and we had made plans for him to sneak in my window Tuesday evening after Charlie fell asleep — just the thought of us alone in my dark bedroom filled me with a flush of panic and, even though I tried to deny it, excitement.

Despite all of my emotional turmoil, our tryst had been replaying in my head all weekend, frustrating me with a constant aching deep in my stomach. I found my mind wandering to thoughts of soft caresses, ragged breathing, and waves of bliss in my core. My hips and back were sore and bruised, but I couldn't help smiling as I ran my fingers across the yellowing blotches in the shower.

Monday night, I could no longer stand it. I had gotten home from work an hour earlier, and had decided to go to bed a bit early. Charlie was immersed in the NIT tournament and barely heard me call a quick "good night" on my way to my room. I locked the door softly and crawled into bed, feeling warm all over. I had never done anything like this before, but I was desperate to feel that release again.

Closing my eyes, I started to think about Jacob. _His russet skin, rippled with muscles and hot to the touch_. I slid my hand into my bra tentatively, brushing lightly against my nipples — _the way it felt when his lips wrapped around my nipples and the surprisingly silky texture of his manhood against my fingers_. My other hand pushed aside the elastic of my panties to stroke my already-wet folds. _Mmm, the feeling of his tongue teasing my clit_. I rubbed and carefully pinched my sensitive nub, working to relieve the tension building in my loins. _The way he felt when he slid against me…_

Damn it. Something wasn't working.

I sat up, frustrated. I wasn't feeling what I thought I should. It wasn't escalating like it had when I had been with Jacob. With a groan, I turned out my light and snuggled into my covers. My anger with myself faded as I slipped into an uncomfortable slumber.

***

I woke suddenly only a few hours later, a light sheen of perspiration making my skin cool. My dream was forefront in my mind — I remembered fleeting thoughts of cool fingers brushing against my skin. I closed my eyes again, but instead of going back to sleep, I slipped my hand below the waistband of my pajama shorts, seeking immediate and necessary release. I pushed the guilt aside and concentrated on the pleasure. I was surprised at how slick I still was.

_His marble body, cool and hard, shimmering in the light_. I slid my fingers gently up and down my folds, trembling at the sensation. _His icy lips and tongue tickling the hollow of my throat_. Two fingers glided easily into my opening, and I lifted my hips toward the pressure. _Oooh, his chilled breath in my ear_. My breathing sped up as I rubbed my palm against my clit, sliding my fingers in and out of myself rapidly. _I wonder how it would feel to have his hard, cool length thrusting in and out of me…_ A low groan started in my throat as flames began licking at my core, urgently.

"Mmm, Edward," I moaned, "Edward, Edward…oooohhhhh." My low cry rumbled deeply as I felt my muscles tighten against my fingers and a flow of silky moisture escape around them. A teardrop escaped my eyes at the same time.

***

Angela seemed to know something was wrong the minute she saw me at school the next morning. Several times I started to talk to her about my problems, but always stopped, wondering how on earth I could possibly explain things. _You see, Angela…my old boyfriend was a vampire and my new one is a werewolf…_ Each time I avoided going any further in the conversation, her eyes were full of understanding, but I knew she wanted me to confide in her so she could help.

Besides all of the unbelievable aspects of my recent relationships, there was the embarrassing subject of sex. Looking at Angela and Ben, their love was so evident, but I couldn't imagine them doing anything like that — not even the more intimate activities that led up to it. They seemed too sweet and innocent. So I let my guilt linger without any relief.

Finally, on the walk out to the parking lot at the end of the day, she turned to Ben. "Could I have a few minutes alone with Bella? Girl talk…," she explained with an easy smile, pecking his cheek quickly and turning to me, her face sympathetic as he walked away behind her. When he was out of earshot, she took a deep breath.

"Bella, please tell me what's bothering you," she said, reaching over to squeeze my hand as we stood next to her car. "You seem like you need a friend right now…I know something's going on."

I sighed. Angela was so perceptive — and caring. "You're right…I do need a friend. It's kind of funny…I always had this one great friend I could confide in when I had a problem, but now the problems are with him, so it's hard." My lip trembled as I continued. "I think I made a mistake, and it's really embarrassing. I don't know if I can tell you about it — I don't want you to think badly of me."

She shook her head with a soft smile. "Bella, I would never. I want to be here for you — I understand how much you've been through lately. I know that when the Cullens left…" I flinched and Angela rubbed my arm as she continued. "When they left, I could see that you were in so much pain, and you always seemed like you didn't want to even _think_ about it. So I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to hurt more. It killed me to keep quiet." Her eyes sought mine. "But something has changed. You seem _better_. And I don't want anything to make you go back to the way you were after he left. Please, let me help you…if I can."

I knew then that I could confide in her.

"I've been dating Jacob," I told her, and she smiled, knowingly. "And he's wonderful and exactly what I need right now. He takes such good care of me, and I never doubt how he feels. I love him, I really do…but…"

"But he's not Edward," Angela said quietly. Hot tears stung my eyes as I nodded.

I took a deep breath. "We…I mean, Jacob and I…well, we fooled around this past weekend."

Angela's eyes never left my face. "What happened?" she whispered.

My face turned red but I continued. "Well, we didn't…do, um…it, but we did some stuff. I'm not sure we were ready for it. In the moment, it felt right, but now I think it might have been the wrong thing to do. Our relationship is so new…and Jacob's so young and I'm pretty inexperienced. I'm having all of this guilt too, because I can't stop thinking about him."

"You mean Edward?" she asked soothingly. I nodded.

"And because of that, I'm pretty sure I wasn't emotionally ready for so much intimacy with Jacob… It was more than I've ever done with Ed—…with anyone before," I said, blushing furiously.

"Wait, you mean you and Edward never…" her voice trailed off as I winced.

"No…Edward was always a perfect gentleman. Too much of a gentleman, actually," I smiled bitterly. "We only kissed. And even then, it was always very innocent. I always wanted to be more intimate with Edward, and we were, in ways that were completely non-sexual." I cringed at the words, and whispered uncertainly, "But I always wanted it. Maybe that's why I thought of him when I was with Jacob."

Angela looked astonished, and I nearly regretted my words. But after a pause, I heard her say, "Go on."

"Well, now I don't know what to do. I want to try to move on, and I know that Jacob is the best option for me," I explained. "And, I am pretty sure I could feel real passion for him…I mean, when we were, um…together…it was incredible. I've never felt so good. And I was totally having that new-relationship fluttery feeling whenever Jacob was near…then all of these thoughts of Edward started up and got in the way. Jacob is my best friend. I love him. And it's not fair for him to have to fight for me against someone who's not even here anymore."

Angela was quiet for a moment, absorbing what I had told her. Finally, she said firmly, "Do you really want to know what I think?"

I nodded and braced myself.

"I think you're overthinking this situation," Angela said matter-of-factly. "Edward's gone, right? He gave up any claim he had on you. You shouldn't feel guilty. Maybe you should try enjoying this new relationship a bit more. Have some fun and let loose! Otherwise, you're going to drive yourself crazy every time Jacob kisses you."

"But it's not fair to Jacob! He's so wonderful…shouldn't he be with someone who isn't in love with a memory?"

"Stop it," Angela said firmly. "Bella, you're not a bad person! You shouldn't beat yourself up over this."

"But I…"

She stopped me with a concerned look. "Please listen. You're trying to find the same feelings for Jacob that you felt for Edward, and you're just going to fail." My mouth dropped open. "But Jacob and Edward are different people and your relationships with them have always been different. Edward seems like he was always your love…you didn't know him any other way. You were just realizing a lot of the "friend" aspects with him that really makes a relationship great. And Jacob has always been your friend. It will take some time and some growth to understand how to be "in love" with someone who's always been your friend. You have to let those feelings grow…and it will probably be confusing for a while. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't try. Trust me, falling in love with a friend is a wonderful thing."

She smiled happily, probably thinking of Ben.

I was struck by two things as Angela finished talking. First, that she was absolutely right, and second, that I had never realized my relationship with Edward had been lacking some of the friendship that I seemed to crave when I was with Jacob.

"But is it possible to feel that love again, Angela? I just can't imagine…"

"I don't know. I've never felt anything like what Ben and I have together. But we're also young. If this doesn't work out, I'll be heartbroken, but it doesn't mean life is over for me. But at least I know now that I'm a person capable of that kind of love." She smiled over my shoulder at Ben, who was hovering out of earshot. "But between you and me, I hope it does work out."

I gave her a quick hug and we both laughed lightly. "Thanks, I really appreciate you listening to my problems, Angela."

"Don't mention it," she shrugged. "Do you want to go study together? I think Ben and I will be working on some Calculus homework with Tyler."

"I'd actually love to, but I'm meeting Jacob tonight and I want to have dinner ready and my homework done so I can turn in at a decent hour. We'll have to make plans to go on a double date soon, though." She nodded enthusiastically and I hugged her once again before making my way to my truck.

I felt more light than I had in months as I settled behind the wheel and reached for the ignition. Angela couldn't understand all the complexities of my situation, but she nailed my confusion with pinpoint accuracy. I felt clear-headed and started my drive home, looking forward to enjoying time with Jacob.


	10. Chapter 10 Moving Forward

_Author's Note: __"Like Night and Day" has been nominated for a Wolfpack Award in the category of "Favorite Jacob (rated M/NC-17)." I'm incredibly excited about this! I knew I loved my Jacob for a reason... Anyway, please go to . and vote for my story!_

**

I found myself feeling happily nervous once again as I waited for Jacob in my room that night. I was starting to make peace with the unfair reality that, at least for the time being, Jacob would be battling for my heart. I sighed. He really was too good for me. But he wanted me, and we were both happy when we were together. We were good for each other — why would I stop that just because I had memories of my first love?

Besides, I had made the decision that I would try to move on with Jacob, and I was nothing if not stubborn.

I barely registered a soft knocking on my window before he was against me, holding me close to his bare chest. I smiled at his speed, so unlike the awkward, clumsy Jacob I remembered when I first moved to Forks.

"I missed you," he whispered hoarsely, kissing the top of my head. We stood there in silence for a few seconds before he released me and plopped down onto my bed, sprawling back with a grin on his face. "Great news, Bells! I don't have to patrol again until tomorrow morning. That means we can hang out all night if you want."

"That is good news!" I exclaimed, "Because that means you can get a whole night's sleep." I moved to sit next to him on my too-small bed. "You look really tired." My fingers traced the dark circles under his eyes.

He reached up and gently took my fingers in his large hands, bringing them to his lips to kiss each fingertip. I shivered with the sensation. My heart ached slightly as my body responded to its selfish desire, but I shoved that feeling aside. There was nothing wrong with this.

I snuggled against his side, shushing him quietly as I got comfortable. Tonight was one of Charlie's rare overnight shifts, and he hadn't left yet. We whispered softly about school, the pack, and plans for the weekend until we heard Charlie call a gruff goodbye from the foot of the stairs.

"Good night, Dad, be careful," I shouted back before turning to Jacob with a grin on my face as I considered our entire night of freedom. He immediately rolled to his side and began smothering my neck with warm kisses as I giggled and attempted to push him away, listening for the patrol car to leave our gravel driveway.

Jacob's playful kisses began to turn into something else as his lips lingered softly on my throat and his hand began to trace circles on my lower back. I squirmed away, meeting his eyes for a moment.

"I meant it, Jacob…you're going to get some sleep tonight. I don't even know how you manage, with school and patrols and everything. I haven't had to run every night for hours, and even I am having trouble maintaining my G.P.A. lately!"

Jacob rolled back onto his back, avoiding my eyes. "Yeah, that's something I wanted to talk to you about, actually…" He looked uneasy. "I…uh, well. I'm not going to school anymore," he confessed.

I sat up swiftly and glared at him. If I could have growled at him, I would have. "What the hell, Jake? You're what, a sophomore? Does Billy know about this?" My voice was rising along with my temper. "How could you be so…you have to…OH!" I didn't know what to say. Tears sparkled in my eyes, as they did every time I became angry. That made me even madder, and I stood up to put some distance between us.

Jacob sat up, his eyes flashing with irritation. "Actually, my dad does know, and he's fine with it. We both agreed that keeping La Push safe from vampires was more important than geometry — at least for the time being." He raked his fingers through his shaggy hair angrily. "I was hoping you wouldn't react like this…that you'd understand. I'm not quitting for good, Bella. Only until we figure out what's going on with the red-head and things calm down. But even so, you know that I'm not really the scholarly type — I'd rather go to technical school or just get my GED. Whatever, so maybe I can open my own garage someday."

I was stunned. He did have a plan — I couldn't deny that. And when I saw him staring at me, his irritation quickly dissolving into a look that practically begged for me to understand, I knew I wouldn't be mad at him. My werewolf boyfriend gave new meaning to the term "puppy dog" eyes.

I sighed and settled next to him once again. "Sorry for overreacting, Jacob. You have a lot on your plate right now, and I can appreciate that. I can't even begin to understand how hard it's been. If you and Billy agree —"

"And the rest of the pack," he interrupted.

"Yes, yes…if they all think this is the best thing for you, then I can't argue. Doesn't mean I don't wish you were still in school though," I told him, poking his bare chest with my finger, feigning annoyance. He smiled, because he knew I wasn't angry anymore, and wrapped me up in his warm embrace.

***

As much as he tried to stay awake, nuzzling and kissing me sweetly, Jacob couldn't fight his extreme fatigue for long and soon he was snoring softly in my ear, my forehead against his chin and his arms around me. I wished I had left the window open to let the chilly spring breeze flow through my room. It was steaming hot enclosed in his limbs. Freeing myself from his clinging arms took several minutes, as he kept gathering me back against his skin the moment I thought I could slip out of bed. Finally, I shoved away from him as he grumbled in his sleep and walked to the window, wiping perspiration from my brow as I did.

I shoved the pane upwards, welcoming the cool air that caressed my skin; feeling especially freshened in those spots where sweat had begun to bead. I sighed contently and my thoughts flickered to other times when cool caresses had felt so welcome, but as quickly as I let them in, I shut them down again. The reverie was broken, and I turned to rejoin Jacob.

As I did, I caught the slightest bit of movement in the corner of my eye. Something or someone had darted into the brush next to the Johnson's house across the street. I gasped without thinking and immediately regretted it as I heard Jacob stirring. It was probably only a dog or raccoon, and I didn't want to disturb Jacob's much-needed slumber.

"Bella?" his sleepy voice called to me.

"I saw something moving outside, but it's probably nothing…go back to sleep," I soothed, returning to his side. He propped himself on his elbow and ran a hand down my side to rest on my hip. The moment felt strangely comfortable, as if Jacob belonged in my bed, bleary-eyed and adorable.

"It was probably Quil," Jacob said, yawning. "He's on patrol around here tonight." His hand slid slowly up and down my hip and I was aware of his eyes roving my body. Despite my misgivings, I felt a thrill of excitement and my heart rate increased. I knew he could tell.

His eyes continued to burn into mine as I stammered, trying to think of anything to distract myself from the growing warmth in my core. Soon he'd be able to tell that I was aroused. "So, um…is there any new gossip among the pack?"

He grimaced slightly and his hand stopped moving. "Well, other than the, err…_complications_ that are arising with Leah's recent transformation, most of the talk has been about, well…_you_."

"Me?" I asked incredulously.

"Well, you know that with the pack mind, nothing can really stay hidden, and…let's just say that they're all very happy for me," he said, waiting for my reaction. I was silent for a moment before my eyes widened and I choked.

"Holy crow! The whole pack knows about us, don't they? I mean, they've seen what's in your head…what happened."

He grinned mischievously and took my hand. "What, Bella…what happened?" I blushed crimson and he kissed both of my cheeks softly, chuckling. "I hate to say that it's something you'll have to get used to, but…" he trailed off.

"I'll have to get used to it," I finished for him with a sigh.

He started rubbing my hip again. "Well, I'm certainly getting used to _this_," he murmured, leaning toward me to softly brush his lips against my mouth. He smiled lazily at me as he pulled away. "And don't worry about the pack knowing. It's the least of their concerns right now."

"Right, you were saying something about Leah?"

Jacob's eyes darkened. "She's not making things easy for us," he explained. "Leah…she's very bitter…not that she doesn't have every reason to be… Did you know that she used to be with Sam?"

I inhaled sharply, surprised. I couldn't imagine Sam with anyone but Emily. "No, I didn't."

"They were high school sweethearts. Well, until he met Emily. What's worse is that Emily has been close to Leah her whole life. They're cousins."

My resentment of Sam flared again. I was angry for Leah. "How could he?" I whispered.

Jacob looked uncertain. "Bella, there are a few aspects of being a werewolf that you don't know about. It's too complicated to get into now, but I promise I'll tell you someday soon." His eyes avoided me.

"As if Leah wasn't enough — we've got so many new wolves right now — we're having to work with them on their control as we're making our rounds trying to find that female. It's distracting," he said, sounding frustrated.

"New wolves? You mean Leah, Seth and Quil?"

"And Collin and Brady, too. They just started phasing last week. They're really young, so they need a lot of direction. It keeps Sam busy, and the rest of us are picking up the slack."

"Wow. That makes…ten?"

Jacob nodded, looking off into space for a moment before focusing back on me. "Can we not talk about the pack anymore? Every moment of my day is about being a werewolf, and I just want to relax with my girlfriend for a few hours." He pulled me to his chest, sighing sadly. "I need you right now, Bella."

My heart ached for him. He had to grow up much faster than he ever should have. I mourned the sweet, innocent Jacob who had walked with me on the beach — that Jacob had perished months ago. We held each other for several minutes in silence, two incomplete people who craved that closeness.

He was the first to break our embrace. His eyes were grateful as he gently cupped my chin in his large palm and bent down to kiss me. The moment his soft lips melded to mine, he sighed against my mouth and I could taste his sweet breath. I parted my lips to savor pure Jacob, running my fingers through his still-ragged hair as I did. My heart pounded in my ears as I felt his hands running down my sides and around to caress my stomach. My breath hitched as his fingers hooked under the bottom of my tank top and he raked them against my skin as he pulled my shirt up to the bottom of my bra.

I held my breath and he stopped. "Is this okay?" he murmured as he nuzzled my jaw with his nose. "Do you want me to touch you, Bella?"

His husky voice was making my body quake in anticipation, but I wanted to set some boundaries before we let things get out of hand again.

"I do, Jake," I breathed in his ear. "But I don't want us to get carried away, you know what I mean?" My body was screaming at me to shut up, because his caress set my skin aflame and I craved more, but I was trying to be fair to him and to me.

I could hear the smile in Jacob's voice as he whispered, "Tell me whenever you want me to stop." He tugged a little more firmly on my shirt and I surrendered to him willingly, letting him pull it over my head. I heard an intake of breath and saw him staring at me, a shadow of shame across his features as he looked at my bruises. I glanced down at them and back at him.

Kissing him on the nose, I murmured, "I'm fine…in a weird way, they're a reminder of our date, and I wouldn't change a thing."

Smiling sadly, he tossed the cloth aside and held my waist with his huge hands, kissing me passionately.

When we broke apart, he grinned at me devilishly, rubbing the flesh above my hips on either side gently. "You're so _tiny_," he chuckled, his hands following the curve of my hips up and down. "I just want to cover you in my arms so nothing breaks you!"

"Yeah," I laughed, "that's exactly what Edward always used to say…" I realized immediately what I had said and my hand flew to my mouth, my eyes wide. Jacob looked as though he had been slapped. I didn't know what to say, so I just stared at him in horror.

After a moment, Jacob huffed and pulled me close to him again, holding me almost uncomfortably tight. "Well, I'm the one saying it now," he said quietly, his voice fierce. "That's what counts." I answered his hug with one of my own, but my face burnt red and I berated myself for the slip. I thought I felt the slightest vibration of a growl in his chest, but it could have been my own trembling. Suddenly, he fisted my hair and leaned down to attack my neck with his lips. Nipping and licking, he set my skin on fire. I felt utterly possessed by him.

"Oh God, Jake," I cried as he sucked and bit my earlobe, growling softly and tickling as he did. I could feel my resolve crumbling as warmth pooled between my legs. I could hear him in my ear, inhaling deeply, greedily, as my arousal became apparent to his heightened senses.

I squealed as he swept me up from my spot near my pillow and set me gently on the bed, hovering over me like a warm Jacob blanket. I wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted my hips against him as he met my lips with his own. The gentle wind from the window tickled my bare stomach as he slowly moved down my body with his mouth, pausing to kiss my chin, my throat, my collarbone. I loved the feel of the refreshingly icy cool breeze against my skin. Yet, my body was drawn to the fiery heat of Jacob's body. It was such a strange sensation, wanting both at the same time — each sensation made the other more intense.

Jacob's warm fingers brushed my upper arms to my shoulders as he moved to push my straps down.

My bra slipped lower to reveal my nipples and Jacob went to work on them, nuzzling his nose against one tightening peak while brushing the other with his fingertips. I moaned and arched against him as he licked one softly, darting his tongue back and forth against the sensitive nub. I ran my fingers through his hair, pushing his head toward my body as I did. He was breathing hot against my skin as he tickled my nipple with his tongue, suckling it harder as I responded with gasps.

He looked up at me, his eyes dark with desire, his chest rumbling. "Do you want me to taste you, Bella?"

My chest rose and fell. "Yes," I breathed as I nodded. "Please, Jake…"

He moved his hands down my stomach and I lifted my hips so he could slide my pajama bottoms down. My heart pounded as he began to trail kisses along the bottom curve of my breast before moving down. I felt his tongue against the skin of my stomach. He stopped to circle my navel with the tip of his nose, and then pushed himself up so he was face-to-face with my most intimate parts. They were glistening wet for him.

Jacob stared at the dark region between my legs for a moment, a look of wonder on his face. It had been very dark the last time we had been together, so I knew he was truly seeing me in the light for the first time. I blushed lightly. He ran his fingertips along the creases of my legs and my breath hitched. Slowly, he brought his hands to the warm, swollen folds, pulling them apart gently and placing a chaste kiss on my sensitive clit. He inhaled deeply, murmuring "Mmm, so sweet." His tongue darted out and lapped at the wetness. I nearly crawled up the bed as my hips bucked involuntarily. He tickled the sensitive nub with just the tip of his tongue, his eyes watching my face for my reaction. When I threw my head back and cried out, he laughed breathily against my core.

Lifting his head for a moment, he ran two fingers up and down the slick skin, stopping to let them swirl around the throbbing button before moving down so they were at my entrance. He pushed his fingertips in and I gasped.

"Look at me, Bella," he hissed firmly. I locked eyes with him as he slid his large fingers into me fully, hitting my barrier and, without hesitation, breaking through. I cringed and held my breath at the first spasm of pain and Jacob stopped what he was doing.

"Are you okay, honey?" he whispered hoarsely.

I wanted him to keep going — the desire was much greater than the pain. I nodded, and said, "It feels so good, Jake. Just…start slow…" He slowly pulled them out and I took a ragged breath before he slid them back in. The pain lessened. "Aah, aaahhh," I moaned deep in my throat as he began moving slowly in a rhythm — in and out, in and out. I was so wet, they slid easily. It felt pleasant and after several minutes, it began to feel amazing again.

My hips moved against his hand, seeking out more friction. His hands began torturing me with their slow, steady thrusting. I wanted more. "Faster, Jacob…oh, please…faster."

He responded immediately with a soft snarl. I moaned his name softly, deeply, and he bent down to continue working my clit with his tongue as his fingers plunged rapidly into my slick center.

I felt that familiar urgency in my belly and I grasped for it. As the warmth spread across my body, I grabbed Jacob's hair firmly in one hand and my other one slid up to squeeze my breast, pinching my nipple gently as I started to tremble in anticipation. I began to make involuntary "ooh" sounds in my throat as I felt the first throbbing waves take over, until I was consumed by a heat that had every nerve in my body tense deliciously, but also had me feeling utterly weak. I could feel my muscles clenching around Jacob's fingers. He devoured my sex, his nostrils flaring as he savored every drop from me.

I pulled him to me for a kiss, not caring that my own essence shone on his lip, mingled with the slightest tinge of blood. I didn't hesitate at the slight rusty flavor, because the flavor of Jacob overpowered all others. Our tongues danced around each other, and I reached for the button of his shorts. The muscles of his stomach contracted as my fumbling fingers tickled him, but soon I had his fly down and was working frantically to tug the denim over his rear.

"Let me help you with that," he chuckled breathlessly, pushing them down while I reached for the elastic of his boxers. He was incredibly aroused, and I took a quick breath in when I finally saw his erection. It was impressive…and intimidating. Jacob was big _everywhere_.

I kissed him softly as my fingers grazed up and down his length. His growls grew louder, and he grabbed my hands to stop me.

"If I hurt you, Bella, you need to stop and tell me," he pleaded, desire apparent in his eyes. "I spoke to Sam about my reaction, and I think I know how to control it, but this is all so new."

"I've never done this either," I murmured, silencing him with a kiss and continuing my stroking. I looked down to stare at my hands working on his imposing manhood and saw a drop of liquid glisten at the tip. I wanted to taste it, to take him in my mouth, but I had no idea what I was doing, or what might feel good for him. I just acted on instinct. Quickly, I bent down and licked it off, tasting him for the first time. I don't know what I was expecting, but Jacob tasted much better than I anticipated – salty and slightly tangy.

I licked him again at the tip and heard him groan. Taking a deep breath, I slid the head into my mouth and Jacob hissed, squeezing my shoulders where his hands rested. It turned me on and I moaned against the skin in my mouth. He responded with another groan. Slowly, I took more of him in my mouth, an inch at a time, until he hit the back of my throat. I stifled a gag, and wrapped my hands around the base so he would be stimulated at every inch. Moving back to the tip, I scraped him gently with my teeth and he gasped. _Mmm, he liked that_! I started to bob my head, sliding him in and out of my mouth, stopping to swirl my tongue around the head, using my teeth occasionally.

Even though it was my first time at this, it was apparently good; Jacob was responding with grunts, tangling his hands in my hair and thrusting gently with his hips. Every few thrusts, I would answer his growls with ones of my own, vibrating my throat against him.

Soon, Jacob became quiet, except for the constant rumbling deep in his chest. I looked up at him as I continued to work his erection with my mouth. He had his head back, his eyes squeezed shut. His arms and legs were rigid and he seemed to be holding his breath. I knew he was close to his orgasm and was trying to concentrate so he wouldn't lose control, but I wanted him to relax and enjoy what I was doing for him. I didn't think he would lose control. I reached up, running my hands across his chest, and murmured, "Jacob?" between licks.

His head rose and he met my eyes. I nodded at him and took him deeper in my throat than before, not breaking eye contact. He began trembling, his hands on my head tugging my hair firmly. His eyes were dark and his face pulled back in a snarling grimace as his hips began to buck more vigorously. I relaxed my throat as much as I could and kept my hands firmly on the base to prevent him from thrusting too deeply. He started pushing my head down with every thrust. My eyes watered as I whimpered around him, aroused and a little bit scared.

He quivered more violently from head to toe before he finally roared, pulling my hair roughly and shoving his hips into my face. I suppressed another choke as I felt warm spurts of fluid hit the back of my tongue, swallowing it quickly and pulling back to lick any traces off of the tip as his member throbbed against my lips.

He had been a lot rougher than I knew he wanted to be, but in a strange way, it made me even more excited. There was something so sexy about him reacting to his primal impulses, and he hadn't hurt me this time.

Even so, his hands were immediately on me, stroking my arms, shoulders, breasts, seeking out any sign of injury. I giggled quietly. "I'm fine, Jake. I'm more than fine, actually." I swiped the tears that had collected in the corner of my eyes quickly, smiling at him sheepishly. His relief was palpable, and his whole body relaxed. He crushed me to his chest as we both came down from our encounter, our heartbeats racing together.

I was just about to pull him to me for a kiss when a frantic howl broke the sound of our excited panting. Jacob stiffened, his eyes widening and his nose twitching as he snapped his head toward the open window. Another howl sounded. He turned to me to utter a panicked, "Bella!" and then he was gone.


	11. Chapter 11 Sadness Strategy & Surrender

Terrified and suddenly alone, I sprang up and locked the window immediately, thinking only of Victoria and the danger that might be right outside my home. A locked window wouldn't even slow a vampire, but it made me feel a bit more secure. As secure as I could possibly feel without Jacob by my side, that is.

I sat back down on my bed, very aware of my solitude. It was like night and day compared to only a few minutes ago, when I had been so close to Jacob, physically and emotionally. The abruptness of his departure shocked me, and I wasn't sure what to do. So I sat there and waited.

And waited.

With every minute that passed, more and more dread and despair filled my trembling body. Finally, when I chanced a look at my clock, I saw that over an hour had passed. Without warning, I felt the hole in my chest tear open with a vengeance.

Crossing my arms in front of me tightly, I cried out in surprise and pain. This couldn't be happening! I curled into the fetal position, my eyes fixed on the window where Jacob had disappeared. My chest heaved with the beginning of hyperventilation.

Even through my despair, I also felt incredible confusion. Why was this familiar anguish returning now, when I was finally taking steps to move on? I was with Jacob! I had made the decision to be with him – he was fixing me and I wanted him to. It didn't make sense that I should feel so suddenly broken just because he had to return to the pack in response to an emergency. He would be back as soon as he could, until the pack needed him again. How could I not understand and appreciate that? After all, they were his family – did he even have a choice?

His family.

Jacob had many obligations to his wolf family – obligations I could never understand, obligations that didn't include me. I gasped, tears springing to my eyes as my panicked brain made a connection.

For the first time in weeks, visions of a party flashed through my mind. Silver-wrapped presents, a drop of red blood, the ravenous eyes of a blonde vampire, Edward's troubled gaze. _Edward_. Edward had left me, gone far away because he had obligations to his vampire family – to keep their existence inconspicuous and to support them in their struggles with their lifestyle. Obligations I could never understand.

The scars in my heart had ruptured because I realized that Jacob could leave me, the same way Edward left me. Could he ever truly be mine? If tomorrow Sam ordered the pack to relocate permanently, he would have to obey. If it was in the best interest for La Push for Jacob to cut ties with me, the "vampire girl," he would have to follow his brothers.

I was stunned and a sob wracked my chest. Through my rapidly blurring eyes, I saw a scrap of frayed cloth in front of me – Jacob's shorts were still at the foot of my bed. I reached out and clutched the fabric firmly to my curled, shaking body, my cheeks already wet with tears.

**

My dreams that night were utterly devoid of any color or subject. Just blackness. Suffocating, terrifying blackness. I never woke during the night, but if I had, I would have been relieved at realizing I was not blind or deaf, floating in an atmosphere of nothingness.

**

Thank goodness the dreams were temporary. I awoke before dawn, my head pounding from lack of sleep and my eyes swollen from crying. Grabbing my robe, I shuffled downstairs to the kitchen to get a cup of hot tea. Charlie was not home yet – his shift would end at 8 a.m.

I took my tea out to the white plastic chair on our small porch. The air was moist and chilly, and I cupped the mug in my hands to keep them warm. I felt utterly alone in the quiet morning, groaning internally at the idea of going to school that day. I was incredibly worried about Jacob and the rest of the pack, not knowing what had called him from my bedroom the night before.

Sitting there, I allowed my mind to focus — it was time to put my emotions to the side and make some decisions.

It didn't take me long before I realized an important fact. I wouldn't feel so upset if there weren't real feelings of love in my heart for Jacob. I was moving on and healing. It was happening even while I was so confused. The knowledge empowered me, and I made an important resolution. I would not let Jacob's obligations and my insecurities affect our relationship. I would take whatever I could from him and give him all of myself in return. It was how I had always approached my relationship with Edward. Except Jacob was still here, making the effort to juggle those responsibilities and his relationship with me.

I wouldn't mention my newly discovered knowledge either to my wolf-boy either. He had enough to worry about without dwelling on my internal struggle of "Edward vs. Jacob vs. fate." I wanted to be his solace, his outlet when life became too stressful. That's what he was for me, and he deserved that.

"Bella!" a male voice called quietly from the tree line across the street. I jumped slightly, spilling tea on my lap and hissing at its temperature. Seth Clearwater stepped out of the brush, clad only in sweatpants in the cold morning air, looking a foot taller than he was just a week earlier. "Sorry," he said meekly as he saw me stand up, a large wet spot of tea on my robe.

"It's okay, Seth," I said, sighing. "I'm getting used to having random werewolf visitors." I smiled weakly. "Acually, I was hoping I'd see someone from the pack before I left for school. I really want to know what's going on…and that everyone's safe."

Seth met my eyes. "We're all sorry we had to take Jake away last night, Bella. We all wish he could have stayed for the rest of the night." My ears felt hot and I had to look away from the boy, who was blushing himself. "But we had some possible news on the girl vampire we're hunting, and Sam needed everyone."

"What news?" I demanded, and Seth immediately shook his head.

"Sorry, I can't tell you anything," he said sadly. "They're having trouble tracking, so nothing very helpful has been learned yet. I'm sure Jacob will let you know when he can. Anyway, I just didn't want you to worry too much. Jake's fine, everyone's fine."

It was so easy to like Seth Clearwater. I poured the gratitude into my voice as I whispered, "Thanks Seth."

**

After sitting in class for hours, with plenty of time to play out dozens of horrific scenarios in my head, work was cathartic. We were doing an inventory, and it kept me occupied for a few hours.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Newton, I'll see you on Friday," I called as I left work at the end of my shift. The air was warmer than usual, but still held onto some of the late winter chill, and I shivered as I walked toward my truck.

I was alert in the dark parking lot, but I still didn't hear him as he snuck up behind me and grabbed my shoulders.

"Aaaahh!" I screamed, whirling around to stab my key in his unsuspecting midsection.

"Ouch!" Jacob rubbed his side where my keychain had grazed him. "Geez, Bella, next time I'll give you some warning!"

"Jacob!" I cried, stretching on tiptoes to throw my arms around his neck. We stood there for a moment before he released me and we walked the rest of the way to my truck. "What's going on? Are you off duty tonight?" He took my hands firmly and turned me to face him.

"Bella, there's something you need to know," he said urgently. "I know that leech used to keep you in the dark about stuff, but I know how important it is for you to know what's going on…"

"Jake, what is it?" I asked, my eyes wide, ignoring his verbal jabs at Edward.

"We think we know what the red-head is planning."

I breathed in sharply and squeezed Jacob's hands in alarm. "What?" I whispered.

"Remember that other scent that we caught…when Sam called off the pursuit? The one we've been trying to find for a while now?" I nodded. "Well, Sam found it last night — that's why I had to go. We were having trouble tracking it, and we actually thought we were too late. But when I was on patrol with Leah and Embry today, we came across it again. We were able to track it this time, so we followed it. It was another vampire…a new vampire none of us were familiar with. The trail took us all the way to Seattle, and Bella," he looked at me with anger in his eyes, "we distinguished at least four different vampire scents, mixed in with that of the red-head."

I was confused, but terrified. "Wha…what does that mean?"

"Sam thinks — and I agree — that Victoria is gathering friends to organize an attack."

My legs were shaking so badly that I almost crumpled to the ground, but Jacob anticipated my reaction and held me close. Mrs. Newton walked by on her way to her car and looked at us curiously before driving away.

"What are we going to do?" I trembled. "Jacob…what if there are more than just the five of them?"

He stroked my cheek with his fiery hand. "We are going to meet with the entire pack tonight. Sam has asked that I bring you — after all, this is your life, too." I started to speak and he stopped me. "I've already called Charlie to say that you're going to be at a birthday party for Quil. He wasn't happy because you have school tomorrow, but I'll have you home in a few hours."

I stood there, stunned, but finally squeezed his arm and said with false bravado, "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get going."

**

It seemed like half of the reservation was gathered outside of Sam and Emily's home, near the large fire pit in their yard. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I was surprised to see Billy, Old Quil and Sue Clearwater sitting in a row with Sam. Gathered around were Emily, Jared, Paul, Embry, Quil, Leah, Seth, and two teenage boys whom I assumed were Brady and Collin. They looked so young, and a bit scared.

Also in the circle was a teenage girl whom I didn't recognize. She held tightly onto Jared's hand, looking around at the scene with wide, alarmed eyes. I turned toward Jacob with a questioning look on my face.

"Who?..." my voice trailed off.

"Oh, that's Kim. She's Jared's, uhh…well, I guess you could call her his girlfriend. That's something I'll have to explain later. We're getting ready to start."

Sam stood, and with authority in his voice, explained the situation with Victoria. It was exactly what Jacob had told me earlier. He described what we were there to do — to prepare a plan for protecting the citizens of La Push and Forks, and to organize a strategy for the fight that was sure to come.

Sue had obviously taken her husband's place on the tribe's council. She and Old Quil argued that the residents of La Push needed to be kept in the dark about what was actually happening, but couldn't think of a solution that would take every last member of the tribe away from the area during the fighting.

Billy stood shakily, grasping one side of his wheelchair. "We have yet to hunt our whale this year. We could plan something with the Makahs to make this year's hunt a tribal unity event on their lands — a lesson for all of the young in our culture to learn the ways of our people. It would be something for all to attend. And then we could lure the cold ones here for the battle, when all of the homes are empty for the day." Many around the yard murmured their approval or nodded their heads.

"But how can we lure them? We have no way of knowing when they'll attack," Seth called from the back of the crowd. The crowd fell silent as everyone mulled this over.

Looking around at their faces, I felt their concern. I could also feel the love and loyalty that kept them linked to one another. I saw Emily's shining eyes as she gazed at her Sam. She accepted him whole-heartedly, even with his pack responsibilities keeping them separated for hours and days at a time. I looked at Jared's girlfriend, Kim, and was struck at the devotion etched on her face as they stared at one another, communicating so much without talking. Maybe I was being silly in having the fears I did. A reaction to being left by Edward so suddenly, perhaps. I had no reason to believe that Jacob would do the same thing.

I fixed my gaze on the tall boy — no, man — next to me. He leaned into me, his arm around my waist. My heart thumped as I studied his profile, a warmth settling in my stomach. I was struck with the notion that I wanted him. I wanted nothing more than for him to turn and look down at me with that sweet smile that I'd come to associate with my Jacob.

I felt the love that linked me to him, as tangible as the love coursing through the other people gathered around the fire. I couldn't deny it any longer — I didn't want to — and as this comprehension washed over me, I felt my soul lift, as if a weight had been taken from me. I took a deep breath, feeling like it was the first real breath I had taken in months. At that moment, as if reading my mind, Jacob looked down at me, met my eyes, and smiled.

I understood.

I loved him — was _in love_ with him — even though I still loved Edward. And I would feel that way regardless of what the future might hold because of some wolfy commitments. Jacob was the person making my heart skip and occupying my thoughts.

_I love Jacob_. I murmured the words under my breath, and the thought made me feel warm and pleasant. The corners of my lips couldn't help but curve up slightly as he squeezed me lightly, and we stood there for several minutes more.

Occasionally, someone would start to talk, but no real solution had been presented. Mostly, it was still. As I gazed at Jacob, I could see his forehead crease in worry and concentration. That look was reflected on the faces of every member of the pack. It made me feel incredibly guilty. I was connected to them through Jacob. All of this was because of me — they were all in danger because Victoria wanted to kill me. And all I could do was sit back and watch, helpless as usual. Unless…

I stood up from where I had been leaning against Jacob's car. With a wavering voice, I said, "Victoria is after me, right?" The murmuring crowd quieted as all heads turned to me. Taking a deep breath to steady my words, I continued. "If she knew where I was and thought I was unprotected, she'd come for me."

"What, use you as bait?" Jacob's voice was furious as he grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the Rabbit. "Absolutely not, Bella…you're not risking yourself like that!"

The voices around us were growing. Most agreed with me.

"I think this will work!" Jared said enthusiastically, while Embry added, "Bella's tough, Jake. She can handle this."

"Son, this might be the only way," Billy's voice sounded.

"We will keep her safe, Jacob," Sam said. "You know that is our priority."

Jacob seethed next to me. I put my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest.

"Let me do this, Jacob. I've made my decision — I want to help." He held me tightly and stroked my hair, trembling slightly. He remained silent.

**

I spent the next two hours in Sam's yard, strategizing with the wolves. Jacob listened closely, but did not participate, other than nodding gravely every so often. Victoria would know by now that I spent a lot of my time in La Push. We just had to figure out the right time and the right way to try to lure her out of hiding to where I'd be. Before long, I was yawning, and Jacob broke his stony silence to insist that he take me home. Looking at his face, I was shocked at what I saw. His eyes burned and he clenched his jaw. He almost seemed angry with me.

When we got back to my car in the Newton's parking lot, Jacob turned to me and pulled me to him urgently. His lips were hot and incredibly soft on mine. I could feel his love and his panic in his kiss. I pulled away reluctantly, because the kiss couldn't possibly say all that was needed, and I had to talk to him.

"Don't be upset with me, Jake," I implored. "I'm doing what's right. I can't just sit on the sidelines while you all risk your tails," Jacob snorted quietly, "protecting me."

He stared at me long and hard before sighing, his eyes softening. I heard defeat in that sigh, and I knew that he couldn't be mad at me for long. "I'm not mad at you, Bells. I'm just damn worried that this is too much…too dangerous." He stroked my cheek with his warm fingers. "I want to protect you, but I'm not going to lock you up and throw away the key like your bloodsucker did. You're a grown woman. If this is your choice, Bella…then I'll live with it." I smiled gratefully at him and leaned in for another kiss.

"I've made another grown-up choice, Jacob," I whispered in his ear. "I've chosen you."

He pulled me back to smile broadly. "I'm so glad you did…my heart chose long ago. I love you," he said before brushing his lips against mine.

"I love you too, Jacob," I said breathily against his mouth, meaning every word. I opened the door to my truck grudgingly. "Good night."

**

A half hour later I had arrived home, washed my face and brushed my teeth, and now I sat in my bed, replaying all that had happened during the last few hours. My stomach was in knots, nervous about the pending battle with Victoria, and euphoric over the latest developments with Jacob.

Jacob was wonderful. Because of him, I was experiencing feelings that had been buried for months. My emotions had jumped around from such highs and lows — it was incredibly confusing, but exhilarating at the same time. I felt alive again. I hadn't felt this way since Edward —

_Since Edward_.

I waited for the sting, but it never came. No pain! I was doing it. I was following his advice. I was being happy. And for the first time, I didn't feel bad about it. I think I had made peace with the fact that Edward would always be in my heart. But he wasn't my whole heart — Jacob was proof of that.

As euphoric as I was about Jacob, and distracted by the tingle on my lips every time I thought about our last kisses, I couldn't ignore the worry over what I had decided to do. Acting as bait for Victoria would be dangerous, but it was necessary. I was resolved that it had to happen, but it didn't make the reality any less frightening.

As I thought about the details of the plan, my cell phone buzzed next to me. I grinned, wondering what endearments Jacob wanted to tell me before I went to sleep.

"Hello?" The smile in my voice was apparent.

"Don't do it, Bella!" Alice's panicked cry begged.


	12. Chapter 12 Under Control

I gasped violently. "Alice?" I whispered. "Alice?!?" I was shrieking now, clutching the phone as if it would fly out of my hands at any moment. "Alice?!"

"Bella, please," her voice was sobbing. "You can't do this…you can't go through with this crazy plan to stop Victoria. Don't put yourself in harm's way. Bella, I promised him I wouldn't watch for you, but I couldn't help it…"

Tears were cascading from my eyes as I incoherently babbled, "Alice, Alice, oh my God…," not hearing a word of what she was saying. I continued for a moment before I realized that she had quieted. Silence filled my ear as I tried to calm my erratic breathing and rid my eyes of the stars that had begun to swirl. After another minute, I took a deep, steeling breath. "I miss you so much," I cried softly, hiccupping.

"Bella," her voice was sad. "So do I…we all do. I wish I was there…it's harder than I ever imagined. But we promised Edward, and I had no idea Victoria would still…" Her voice changed. "Bella, you have to tell me everything that's going on! There are huge moments where I can't see you, and it's terrifying."

I wondered how much I should tell her, but then cursed myself for questioning Alice's intentions, even for a second. She was my friend, even after all of this time and pain.

"Well, it was really bad, Alice, for a long time," I admitted. "I was going through the motions, but it was so hard to try to do everything as if nothing had happened. But I'm trying, and it's getting a bit better. Lately I've been spending a lot of time with a friend of mine down in La Push — Jacob Black. He's really helped me since Edw— Umm…since your brother left. You might not believe this, but he and some of his friends in La Push are…well, they're werewolves."

I heard a sharp hiss on the other end.

"Werewolves?" Alice sounded furious. "You've been hanging out with _werewolves_?" Bella! Don't you understand how dangerous they are?"

I immediately became defensive as I thought of my sweet wolf-man. Jacob wasn't dangerous. "Alice, you don't understand. They're protecting me. I have this under control. Jacob would never hurt me."

"No, not deliberately, but that doesn't mean it couldn't happen," she said. A flash of Emily's mangled face appeared in my head as Alice continued. "No wonder I couldn't see you…you were with werewolves." A soft chuckle sounded. "Only you, Bella…I swear. You attract danger like no one I've ever seen."

"Can you tell me what you _did_ see, Alice?" I whispered. "With Victoria, I mean."

She sighed loudly. "I don't see a lot, and that's what scares me. Anytime you're with your new _friends_ (she sneered at the word) or even planning to be with them, I can't see what's happening. You must be alone right now, because I can see your future. If any of those _dogs_ get near you, you'll disappear again. But right now it's pretty clear. I see you preparing to go to La Push to meet Victoria."

She paused for a moment, and I imagined her face, with her eyes slightly out-of-focus as she searched the future. "Now that I know you're planning that, I can see her more clearly too. I'm able to read her because of how closely I watched for her after the baseball game last year. It's bad, Bella — she's created newborn vampires. _Newborns_, Bella! Erratic, incredibly strong newborns. I can see her leading them to La Push to find you. Your futures are inexplicably entwined now. It's a solid vision."

"When?" I asked quietly.

"I can't tell the day. It's afternoon though, and it's very sunny. There's a parade going on in Seattle when they leave…something with flowers. That's all I can see right now." She sighed, sounding exhausted. "It's your turn…you need to tell me what you're planning."

I launched back into what had been happening since they had left. I told her about Laurent, about Jacob first catching Victoria's scent and of the developments since then. I told her pieces of the plan we had hashed that night, making my part sound minimal. She sighed in frustration as I finished.

"This is not good," she said firmly. "It's so frustrating being all the way…if we had any idea…"

"Are you coming back?" I asked with hope. I was answered by silence. "Alice? Just because he's gone doesn't mean you all have to go."

"Bella…" she started before I interrupted her.

"I needed you so much when he left. I may have lost my boyfriend, but I lost my best friend during this whole mess too. I don't think I can handle talking to you now and then having everything be gone again." I pleaded with her. "Alice? Please say something."

"I don't think I can," her voice was strained. "I want to, Bella…believe me. But, I promised…we promised him…"

"He promised me something too, Alice," I said, my voice tinged with bitterness, but then my toughness melted and I fought back the rapidly rising panic. "Can you do me one favor? At least call me…can't we talk every once in a while? That's not too much, right? It's so good to hear your voice. If that's all I can have, I'll take it."

"I…I don't know," Alice said quietly. "Maybe…if you do me a favor. Please don't bait Victoria. I can't see the outcome and it scares me. I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

"I can't do that," I said simply. "I have to help them — it's my fault that they're in danger. The pack is my family now — just as much as you and your family used to be. As much as you still are," I admitted softly, my lip trembling slightly. "I'd do the same for you if you needed me."

"Oh, Bella," Alice said sadly, her voice echoing in my ear before a soft click told me she had ended the call.

**

I cried for two hours after Alice hung up, until my body shook but no tears came from my eyes. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, and finally crawled under my blankets. Between the terror of finding out Victoria's plan, the elation of finally realizing my love for Jacob and the shock of hearing Alice's voice, I had gone through every emotion known to man in mere hours. I fell quickly asleep, not waking until morning.

**

I was in a semi-catatonic state for the rest of the week from lack of sleep — going to school during the day, working in the evenings and sneaking out with Jacob after dark to rendezvous with the pack to continue our planning. I couldn't fathom how the wolves managed with such little rest. I was certainly struggling with it. Tyler had to nudge me awake in English and later at lunch I had nearly nodded off into my yogurt.

Jacob had promised us both an entire night's sleep that Saturday. He planned to spend the day with me before leaving to get a full eight hours in his own bed. I was looking forward to some time with him, almost as much as I was anticipating sleep.

Even with the fatigue and stress, it had been a good week because of Jacob.

I was unabashedly affectionate with him now. If he sensed a change in my enthusiasm, he didn't say anything, but it was hard to catch a moment where he wasn't smiling when I was around. Even during the stressful strategy sessions, his face held a resigned smile as his eyes communicated his concern.

Alice's information had helped immensely. Jacob's jaw had clenched fiercely when I told him she called, but when I explained what I learned, he calmed down and admitted it was helpful. We learned that Seattle was hosting an annual daffodil parade the following Saturday, and the 10-day forecast was showing a possible break from the rain that weekend. It all fit. Billy and Old Quil had no problems organizing a tribal event with the Makahs for that day, and all seemed to be going to plan.

Our strategy sessions were going so well, in fact, that when Jacob and I arrived after midnight on Thursday, planning had been cancelled for the evening. Instead, we were surprised to see only a few people in Sam's yard. Sam, Emily, Jared and Kim looked up from their intense conversation and welcomed us. Jacob stiffened next to me when he saw them and I glanced at him curiously before skipping to Emily's side. She squeezed me warmly.

"We're not interrupting anything, are we?" I asked, giving Jacob a quizzical look — he was visibly uncomfortable. He didn't meet my eye, and instead glared at Sam.

"Oh no, you're not," Kim said shyly. "We were just talking about Quil. He imprinted today!" The group looked at me expectantly, but I just smiled back, slightly confused. Kim seemed like she wanted me to share in her excitement, but I didn't understand what she had just said. My confusion must have been apparent because the small circle went silent. Jacob exhaled loudly and Kim's expression was horrified, her ears getting red.

I looked from face to face. "What?"

"You haven't told her?" Sam sounded angry, and Emily's arm around me tightened.

"No, I haven't…not yet," Jacob said bitterly. "It didn't seem like the right time, with all of the preparations for next week. I'm going to talk to her about it, I promise."

"Jacob?" I was a bit worried. "What's going on? Tell me what?"

He was at my side in a flash, pulling me to my feet. "Nothing that we can't talk about later. Don't worry, it's something I was planning to talk to you about when I'm at your house this weekend." I must have looked concerned, because he took my hand and held it against his cheek, seeking my eyes imploringly. "It's okay, Bella."

"O…kay," I said uncertainly, knowing that I would have to trust him to explain this whole "imprint" thing when he was ready. The atmosphere around the campfire had quickly become awkward, and we immediately stood to leave. He murmured a quick, uncomfortable farewell to our quiet friends and pulled me back to his car, while I threw confused glances behind my shoulder at the group of four, huddled together in hushed whispers.

Somehow, I knew they were talking about me.

**

Jacob took me immediately back home, saying little on the way. I would have preferred to spend a few hours with him, but he insisted that I try to catch up on my sleep while he phased and slept in the woods near my house in his wolf form. He kissed me quickly but intensely when we arrived at Charlie's house, and I snuck back to my room as he parked his car down the street and loped off into the brush.

I brushed aside the rising panic at his behavior, deciding to be patient and to trust him, but I couldn't help grabbing my dictionary as soon as I got to my room, looking up the verb "imprint."

_im-print — transitive verb — to mark by or as by pressing or stamping; impress to imprint a paper with a seal; to make (a mark or impression) by pressing; to press or apply to imprint a kiss on the forehead; to implant firmly in the mind or fix in the memory: with on a sight imprinted forever on her memory_

I was confused. Had Quil been marked in some way? Maybe this was some pack tradition I didn't know about yet…a tattoo or something. Why, then, were they so worried about Jacob telling me about this "imprint" thing? Were they afraid I wouldn't approve of Jacob getting a similar mark? How bad could it be?

I stretched out on my bed, fully intending to think about it more, but I must have been more tired than I realized, because I drifted off within minutes. My dreams were filled with visions of random and elaborate tattoos covering Jacob's arms, legs, stomach and face, as Alice's distorted voice echoed through my head.


	13. Chapter 13 Screw Fate

_"Like Night and Day" has been nominated for a Wolfpack Award in the category of "Favorite Jacob (rated M/NC-17)." I'm incredibly excited about this! I knew I loved my Jacob for a reason... _

_Anyway, please go to __**http:// wolfpackawards. webs. Com /vote. htm**__ and vote for my story! Voting ends TOMORROW!!!!_

_VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!!_

**

Friday came and went the same as most of the other days that week — school, work, homework, a few hours of precious sleep before a strategy session with the wolves. At least I didn't have to work at Newton's that Saturday, and I was looking forward to relaxing. I was very aware that we had only a week before we would meet Victoria, and I was trying to let go of my stress for one day.

Jacob came over mid-morning. He looked exhausted, but kept his eyes from closing as I forced him and Charlie to watch "The Princess Bride" as I ran back and forth to the kitchen, prepping the slow cooker with all of the ingredients for homemade chicken and noodles for dinner that night. I felt in the mood for some comfort food.

Poor Charlie. Earlier, while he flipped through the channels on his way to ESPN, I had seen a flash of Fred Savage sick in bed and squealed. He generously relinquished control of the TV so I could enjoy the movie, and just sat there staring at the screen, his face twisted up in a look of slight disgust. Jacob had just shown up at the wrong time and now sat on the couch watching with a bored look on his face, occasionally laughing at Andre the Giant.

Charlie stood up suddenly, looking like he wanted to flee. "I'm running out to get some bait and other supplies for fishing tomorrow. I thought I'd pick up some lunch on the way back. Want anything?"

In Forks, our "fast food" options were limited. However, I knew that Charlie loved Pacific Pizza, so I told him I'd call some pizzas in and he could pick them up on his way home. He nodded and practically ran out of the door, escaping the chick flick.

As soon as his tires were out of the driveway, I immediately scampered over to Jacob's relaxed form on the couch, catapulting myself onto him, giggling.

"Ooof," he grunted as I landed on his hard stomach. He grabbed my wrists firmly, a twinkle in his eye. "What do you think you're doing, Bella Swan?"

I bent to kiss him and he held me back playfully — my lips were straining to meet his only inches away. I pouted my lip and tried again…and again he held me away from him, staring into my eyes with a mix of amusement and something else. I changed tactics, wriggling against him flirtatiously, noticing his eyes darken when I did so. My heartbeat quickened when I saw his reaction. Our playful wrestling slowed, but his hands remained on my wrists.

"You're being bad," he warned me, his mouth smiling but his eyes serious. He sat up and I tumbled back onto the other side of the couch, where I lay on my back, slightly panting, my hands pinned above my head by Jacob's large hands. "Now, what were you trying to do, bad Bella?" he mused. "Oh, right…this…" He bent down and brushed his nose against mine before taking my bottom lip in his mouth, sucking lightly and running his tongue against it. He stopped abruptly, pulling back to look at me. I must have been a sight, my eyes wild, my lips slightly swollen and my breath coming faster, a permanent blush staining my cheeks. "If you want to be a good girl again, you could ask nicely." Damn. He was teasing me! I loved this new, confident Jake!

"Please?" I whimpered. "Kiss me…please?"

His voice was a low chuckle as he quoted the movie. "As you wish…"

With a growl, he bent to me again and kissed me roughly, still holding my arms above me. We kissed for what seemed like an hour, tasting each other and playing with tongues and lips. Every time Jacob inhaled, he would kiss me with more fervor as the scent of my arousal became more and more obvious. Finally, one hand left its grip on my wrist and ran down my arm. He cradled my face in his palm as his lips brushed my cheeks, my eyes and my chin.

I moaned and whispered, "Jacob, I love you." Everything felt perfect. I softly murmured, "Forever…" He pulled away and his expression wasn't what I expected. He looked pained. Did he not believe me? My eyebrows furrowed and I whispered, "I do, Jacob. I love you."

"I know you do," he said. "And you know I love you too, right?"

If I hadn't been worried before, I was now. His grip on me loosened and we both sat up, the moment regrettably over. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Is everything okay? It's not…Victoria…is it?"

"No, no," he reassured me. "But I do have to talk to you about something…and I'm not sure exactly where to begin."

"Is this about what happened the other night?"

He sighed. "It's not something you and I have to worry about, but Sam thinks it's better if you know — if you understand." He seemed to brace himself before continuing. "Did you understand Kim when she said something about imprinting?"

"No."

He took a deep breath and took my hands. "Imprinting is another one of those wolf things that we didn't understand until we studied the legends," he said gently. "It's a way we find our soul mates. It only happens after we have phased. If we see her, we just know. It's an immediate, intense connection, and it remains with us our entire life. But it's sporadic, for all we know. It probably won't happen to everyone…it's supposed to be rare. It has only happened to a few of us. Quil just imprinted this week."

I looked at him with wide eyes, almost afraid to ask my next question. My head was spinning, but one I had to know one thing. Could I dare hope to have such a strong life-long bond with Jacob? Could all of my fears about his other obligations be alleviated?

He had said 'a few of us…'

"You love me," I said simply. He nodded, his face unreadable. "Have you…have you imprinted with me?" I couldn't keep the hope out of my voice.

Jacob cupped my cheek in his palm and grazed his thumb over my lips. I couldn't read his face, and I hoped beyond hope that this could link us together for life.

"No, sweetie," he whispered, obviously hating to say it. "I haven't."

"Oh." I looked down, tears flooding my face almost immediately.

Jacob tilted my chin back up, meeting my pained gaze with one of his own. "Hey," he said softly. "It doesn't happen for everyone. It doesn't change how I feel for you, Bella."

I clenched my teeth. "Look at me," I said fiercely, through my tears. "Really look at me…_see_ me…imprint on me, Jacob…" My voice wavered, betraying me. "_Please_…"

"It doesn't work like that," he said sorrowfully, letting go of my hands to hold his head as if in pain. "It's totally involuntary." He saw my expression and became angry. "I knew that I shouldn't have put this all on you…damn Sam! It doesn't even matter for us anyway! It's not going to happen to me."

"You can't say that," I said, starting to hyperventilate slightly. "What if you imprint someday with someone else? Where will that leave me?"

Jacob didn't respond.

I gasped, realization flooding my mind. "That's what happened with Leah and Sam! He imprinted with Emily, and Leah was left alone and heartbroken. Jacob! That could happen to us."

Jacob remained silent for a moment, but there wasn't anything he could say that would alleviate the panic was I feeling. Finally, he spoke in a firm voice.

"Impossible. I'll always love you," he told me. "For the rest of my life. Even if I never would have had my chance with you…if he never would have left you. I still would have felt this way until I died. I only see _you_, Bella!"

I just shook my head, speechless, as my eyes spilled over again and again. He grabbed my upper arms and shook me. My ears buzzed, and it took me several seconds to realize that he was shouting at me.

"Bella? Bella! Listen to me…I love you! You have to believe me. I've waited so long for you…you have no idea…" Suddenly, his hands were on my cheeks, warming my tear-cooled skin and wiping the water from my face. His expression was desperate, and he finally leapt at me, kissing me full on the mouth. His panic and his overwhelming love were evident, and it broke me from my spell.

I grabbed his hair roughly, pulling his face even closer to mine and wishing we could meld together. We held each other impossibly tight, until I had to break away to draw a ragged breath. His hands groped down my back and squeezed my rear, and I gasped through my still-falling tears and fisted his shirt to bring him to my lips once more. He eased me down onto my back and stretched atop me, supporting most of his own weight. We tangled together, kissing fiercely. My legs wrapped around him roughly and his hands burnt me deliciously as they rubbed and squeezed from my back to my thighs.

I was angry. Not at Jacob, but at the circumstances that always seemed to keep happiness an arm's length away for me. I didn't doubt Jacob's feelings for me, but now I had no choice but to doubt what fate might have planned for us. I was also scared. I didn't think I could handle losing him too. He was the only part of my life that kept me sane after Edward broke my heart. And now he was my life and my heart.

I pulled away from him abruptly. I felt the need to tell Jacob exactly what I was thinking. He hovered a few inches from my face, looking troubled, even as his eyes were dark with desire.

"Jacob," I said firmly, with gravity. "I love you. It's taken me a long time to get to where I am, and you're the reason I'm here. I'm not just going to give you up — to give up on us because of some stupid wolfy superstition." I cradled his face in my hands, leaning in until my lips were nearly brushing his. "So fate can do whatever it wants, but I'm telling you that I'm not giving up."

I kissed him, and when I broke from his mouth to nuzzle his jawline with my nose, he breathed, "I don't want you to give up, Bella. I'm here…I'm staying here with you. I'm not giving up either. We can tell fate to go screw if it has other plans for us!"

I laughed throatily, feeling a thrill of panic and rebelliousness as Jacob trailed soft kisses around my ear. My despair faded but the fear was still there. It was me and Jacob against the world, and it was exhilarating and terrifying.

**

Sunday night, well-rested and surprisingly cheerful considering the stress hanging over our heads, Jacob and I arrived in a large clearing several miles away from La Push. Sam wanted to practice some strategic sparring, and needed the space for the ten wolves to do it, away from the eyes of the unaware members of the reservation. Walking into the field, I was immediately reminded of a vampire baseball game, one year earlier. The thought made a small smile come to my face, but no pain arose in my heart. I laced my fingers through Jacob's as we approached the pack, standing around in their human forms. I saw Leah standing off a bit, by herself, and I felt a flood of pity for her. The fear that had been dormant since Saturday afternoon prickled my heart a bit. Could the same fate she suffered happen to me?

"Bella," Sam nodded at me, his gaze flickering to Jacob quickly. Jacob nodded tersely, and Sam relaxed. "Emily and Kim are over between those trees if you'd like to join them."

"Sure, sure," I said, giving Jacob a quick peck on the cheek as he chuckled lowly.

As I walked away, I heard Jared whisper, "Did you tell her, man?" Jacob's low voice murmured something I couldn't hear, but I couldn't resist turning my head and meeting his eyes. He beamed at me and I blew him a kiss. We were a united front.

Emily and Kim were whispering and giggling, and when I walked up they turned red and fell silent.

"What?" I asked. "Were you talking about me?"

Kim burst into nervous giggles. Emily's eyes were kind. "No, don't worry Bella," Emily said. "We were just having a personal discussion." Kim giggled again, her cheeks pink. "We were discussing what it's like to, uh, be with our wolves. Kim is new to the experience, so I was trying to give her some advice."

_Be with the wolves_? I had no idea what she was talking about until Kim brazenly asked, "So, you and Jacob haven't had sex yet, right?"

"Excuse me?" I spluttered, shocked. My face took on its usual shade of crimson.

"Oh, sorry…I didn't mean to embarrass you," Kim said, apologetically. "I didn't think you had, but I didn't want to assume. It's just…it's so _different_ than I thought being with someone could be. Better, in a lot of ways, but overwhelming in others. I have so many questions for Emily…I hope you don't mind, Bella."

"No, it's fine," I said quickly, turning to watch the pack as they started phasing and preparing for their battle practice. But soon I found myself eavesdropping on Emily and Kim, and before long I was sitting cross-legged with them, enthralled with what Emily had to say.

"It's such an intense experience," Emily explained. "More so than with a human man. Sam gives himself over to his instincts, and the whole experience is very animalistic, but at the same time, it's with so much love and devotion."

"Does he ever hurt you when he's…um, caught up in his instincts?" I asked. "Because Jacob…" I stopped myself, horrified at what I was about to share. That was between Jacob and me. At least I thought it was, until Emily patted my arm.

"I know, I heard," she said sympathetically. "He gets rough when he orgasms…he loses control a bit, correct?"

"How did you…" I stammered, before remembering — nothing was secret in the pack.

"The first time Jared came when I was giving him a blowjob, I thought he'd stab me through the head with his dick," Kim said laughing. "I was terrified! I had never even done that before, and I thought I was going to die."

"It gets easier," Emily said gently. "They learn to control themselves through practice. It's best to just brace yourself when you know it's close. They'll never hurt you deliberately…" Her voice trailed off, and her scars seemed to shine in the scarce moonlight.

"But when they do finally reign in all that wolf aggression, it is incredible!" Kim exclaimed. "Jared is so generous, and seems to anticipate every need I have. And he's so warm and muscled and…big! I can't count all of the orgasms I have!"

"Are you and Jacob thinking about having sex, Bella?" Emily asked. "I know you've done some other things, but if you're thinking about it, I might be able to help prepare you for what it might be like."

I looked at Emily and Kim, their smiles so genuine. They had a lot to be happy about. Their wolf men had imprinted them…they were linked for eternity. As much as I needed advice, my situation was different from theirs. _Me and Jacob against the world_, I thought.

"Please don't take this the wrong way, Emily…Kim," I started. "But when it's time for me and Jake, I think we'd both feel more comfortable if we figured it out together."

Kim shrugged her shoulders and Emily just squeezed my hand understandingly. We fell silent, our gazes fixed on our wolves.

I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, Jacob was gently shaking me awake.

"Bella, honey? It's time to go home."

I sat up to see the wolves phased back into their human forms, still milling about and chatting. Jared and Kim were kissing and Sam stroked Emily's hair. I held out my hands so Jacob could pull me to my feet, and he wrapped his arms around my chilled arms. I hadn't realized how cold I had been curled up on a blanket on the grass.

"You okay?" he said lowly. I nodded, kissing his bare chest. "Well, then…let's get you home before Charlie wakes…" His words stopped abruptly with a choking gurgle. All around us, heads snapped up, furious growls sounding in the chests of the wolves. Many of them began trembling and Jacob roughly pushed me several feet from him, and I stumbled back and landed on my rear. He hissed "they're here!" before exploding into a mass of fur and muscle. My russet wolf landed in front of me, shielding me from the line of trees with his body.

Terrified, I looked around to see that I was in the middle of a semi-circle of massive wolves, Emily and Kim at my sides. They were clutching at me, fear in their eyes. _No! This isn't the way Alice said it would be_!

The growls intensified and I turned to the tree line to see several black shadows moving toward us stealthily. The battle was about to begin, whether we were ready for it or not.

**

_END NOTES: Please check out my one-shot, "Work of Art!"_


	14. Chapter 14 Mirage

My eyes were fixed on the stalking figures in the trees. The shadows were moving very slowly for vampires…they seemed to be very deliberate and careful. In a few seconds, they'd be in the clearing. I tried to count them. _One, two, three_…there didn't seem to be more than five or six, but I couldn't see if there were more behind them. I was terrified, yet couldn't look away from my potential death.

The wolves snarled viciously, loudly. The rumblings in their chests seemed to shake the ground on which I was standing. Emily and Kim were grasping either side of me and trembling themselves, making the vibration even more apparent.

Suddenly, the dark black wolf I knew to be Sam stopped growling and gave a sharp bark. I braced myself for the attack I knew was coming, closing my eyes and whispering, "Jacob," softly.

"We're not here to harm you, or the humans," a ringing male voice called out. My eyes flew open in confusion and fixed on the golden-eyed speaker. "We honor the treaty between our kind."

I gasped violently. My voice sounded feeble and unsteady, filled with disbelief. "Carlisle?"

"Bella!" he said in relief, his smile expressing his joy and love in seeing me again. Around him, more figures came into focus. Rosalie. Jasper. Esme. Emmett.

_Alice_.

Her pixie face was alight with delight as her eyes met mine. If I could have soared over the wall of wolves in front of me to get to her, I would have. Instead, I stood there staring at them all, quaking with adrenaline, my wild eyes shining with tears and gratitude over seeing them again.

To my left, Sam had phased back into his human form, but kept close to the pack. He was naked, but I hardly noticed because of everything happening. Directly in front of me, Jacob had resumed his throaty growls, but was being nudged roughly by the two wolves on either side of him, as if they were telling him to settle down. I began to walk to Jacob's side to try and calm him, but when he heard me moving behind him, he turned and gave me an angry bark, as if to say "stop." I froze.

"Why are you here?" Sam demanded, his voice strong and unwavering. "We understood you to be gone from the area permanently."

"We know of the pending attack by the newborns from Seattle, and we've come to offer our assistance," Carlisle said. "If you'd like, we can work together, but either way…we're staying and fighting. We won't let any harm come to Bella."

Several eyes turned my way, both human and wolf. I just gulped, stunned.

"We have this under control," Sam seethed. "Bella will be fine."

"I can't know that for sure," Alice's chiming voice called out. "My latest visions have several more newborns…as many as nine."

A rumble went through the pack at this news.

"Please," Carlisle took another step forward, his hands up as if in surrender. "My son Jasper has experience with newborn vampires. He can help prepare us for their attack. I only ask that you let us help. We do not want to see any blood shed either. You don't need to sacrifice any of your lives to defeat these vampires…please."

The wolves looked to Sam, who was obviously struggling with the decision. Jacob continued his growls, backing up slightly until his haunch nudged my leg. I reached over and threaded my fingers through his fur, but my eyes never left the Cullens.

"Alpha, we have always respected the agreement your leaders made with us so many years ago," Carlisle gently reminded him. "We are on the same side." Another rumble passed through the wolves.

"I must confer with my brothers," Sam said gravely, phasing to his wolf form as soon as he said it. The pack grew still, yet their eyes were still wary. I knew they were communicating with the pack mind.

I studied the Cullens, wanting more than ever to run to them, kiss them, feel them to make sure they were really here. Alice bounced from one foot to the other, anxiously watching me. It was obvious she wanted to reunite with me just as badly. Emmett gave me a broad, dimpled smile and winked. Esme's hands were clasped in front of her heart, and she mouthed "Bella" when she saw me glancing her way, her eyes joyous. Jasper gave me an embarrassed smile. I was sure he still felt ashamed for what happened the last time we saw each other. I returned his smile, trying to assure him that all was forgiven. Carlisle was gazing at me with great pride. Even Rosalie's eyes looked relieved to see me. I tried to ignore the fact that one member of their family was nowhere to be seen. _Like he'd care_...

The wolves continued their silent conversation. After a few minutes, Jacob snarled viciously and made a motion to leap toward the vampires, and several of the wolves pinned him down. My attention returned to my struggling, furious wolf-man.

"Jacob!" I pleaded. "Please!"

Sam again stood before us on two legs, turning to address the Cullens once more.

"We will accept your help," he said, "but don't expect this partnership to last beyond this battle. We are natural enemies, regardless of your lifestyle and our treaty. We will not seek to continue this alliance."

Carlisle nodded. "We understand. And we will let you take the lead if you'd prefer, but I hope you use the talents of some of my children to your advantage," he said, motioning toward Alice and Jasper. "If you might, could you share the plans you've discussed thus far? We have so much to be caught up on."

It was obvious that Sam was struggling with the idea of working with vampires, but he was doing what was best for the tribe. He turned to the wolves. "Jared, Paul, Seth, and Leah — please phase to your human forms and join me. Collin, Brady...? Why don't you run some laps around the area and check for unfamiliar scents?. Quil…Embry...? Take Jacob home to cool down." Speaking directly to Jacob, Sam added with gravity in his voice, "Jacob, phase back and go. You will calm down and accept my decision."

At once, the wolves disappeared and I found myself surrounded by several tall, naked people. They dressed themselves with speed. Leah pulled her t-shirt and shorts on so quickly I barely realized she had phased. I saw my chance and pushed past Jacob, running with all of my heart toward Alice. In true Bella style, I stumbled a few feet from her and fell into her arms awkwardly, sobbing as I did. She held me tightly, cooing in my ear and stroking my hair softly. Her chilled embrace reminded me of Edward, but I shoved that thought away quickly. Suddenly another cool set of arms encircled my waist. Esme.

Emmett rumpled my hair affectionately and Jasper put one cold hand on my arm, projecting intense feelings of relief and love my way. Carlisle and Rosalie stood a few feet away, watching our group embrace with smiles. In the background, the pack watched with disgust.

"I missed you all so…so much," I gulped, laughing shakily.

"As we did you," Esme said warmly. "You're a part of our family, Bella…we hated to have to leave."

"Well, why did you?" an angry voice behind me growled. I whirled around, still holding Alice's waist, annoyed by Jacob's hostility but struck by the reality that I wanted the answer to that same question.

Rosalie stepped forward, her eyes flashing with fury, but Carlisle held her back. "We were honoring a request from a member of our family," he said softly, looking at me apologetically. "Edward felt that our presence was a danger to Bella. He loves her so much, that he would do anything to keep her safe...even if it means not being with her. I didn't agree with him then, and I don't now, but it doesn't change the fact that he is family and we had to respect his wishes."

I inhaled sharply, hearing their reason for the first time. I always knew that Edward asked them to leave even before talking to Alice on the phone, but hearing them say how they never wanted to leave me behind was all I needed to hear. However, I was struck to the very center of my heart to hear Carlisle saying that Edward loves me — loves...not loved in the past tense. I couldn't wrap my head around the idea, it was so unexpected and so contrary to his words to me the day he left.

Emmett whispered a low "sorry" and Esme looked stricken. I smiled sadly at them as my mind raced.

"Why would you respect his wishes," Jacob was seething, "when he never gave Bella that same respect?" I snapped my head toward him, miffed at his tone but feeling incredible guilt for my split-second doubt at the mention of Edward and his love for me. Jacob might be wrong in this instance, but at least he was _here_...sticking up for me. That was more than I could say for Edward.

"Jacob, they had to," I replied firmly, looking at the furious face of my boyfriend, still being held back by his friends, trembling from head to toe. "Edward is their son, their brother. Wouldn't you do anything if someone in your pack asked you to?"

Jacob snorted. "Seemed pretty easy for them. You're the one who had to suffer."

"Do you think we didn't suffer?" Alice's voice was cold, like I'd never heard it. "Every day of the last seven months has been torture for me…for us! We love Bella, as much as we love each other." The tears that had been dwelling in my eyes for the last few moments finally spilled over. _They still loved me. They had missed me_.

Jacob was silent, but fuming. I didn't want to leave the cool embraces of my beloved vampire family, but I knew I had to talk with Jacob.

"Please, don't leave," I whispered to them, knowing that they meant to stay for the battle but unsure how long after that they would remain. A moment of intense panic hit me as I took my first step away from them. "Stay in Forks…you don't have to go away again." I took one more step away. "I have to go with Jacob right now, but I promise I'll come see you as soon as I can. I love you," I finished, looking at every one of them as I said it.

A warm hand encircled mine and I flinched involuntarily, surprised. Jacob's eyes on me were sad and uncertain. "Come with me, Bella."

We were silent on our walk back to his car, Embry and Quil flanking us on either side. Every step I took away from the Cullens forced a soft sob from my chest.

**

"So does this just make everything he did to you okay?" Jacob seethed. It was a half hour later, and Jacob and I were parked down the street from my house. Quil and Embry had taken off into the woods near my house as soon as the car had stopped. I knew they were close, but they didn't want to be around for what was sure to be an intense conversation.

Jacob had been venting to me for the last five minutes, while I sat patiently and listened. "They all left you, Bella. They didn't even say goodbye. How can you just…forgive...I mean, they don't deserve it!"

He held his head in his hands and was finally silent. I touched his arm gently.

"Jake?" I murmured quietly, choosing my words deliberately...wanting to convey how much I meant everything I said. "Jacob, it doesn't change a thing between us. Remember? It's me and you against the world…"

He looked up at me through his lashes, still furious — but listening. I continued.

"They are like my sisters and brothers and parents. You have to understand that. They left because they felt they had to when Edward requested it…but it hurt them to do it. They're not Edward...they…they didn't leave because they wanted to…" My voice broke with a small sob. "They wanted to stay here," my chin was quivering uncontrollably. I was voicing harsh realities that still stung me to my core. "They didn't hurt me. _Edward_ did…when he left me. And he hurt me again when he asked them to leave me. Please…I need them. They're my family."

I was crying at this point. I needed him to understand. His face softened at my anguish and he gathered me in his arms, where I sobbed against his shoulder for several minutes.

"Don't cry, Bella. They're not worth all this pain."

His words only made me cry harder, and I wailed, "What makes them so different from you?" I felt Jacob stiffen in my arms and I pulled back to continue. "You left me. You became a werewolf and were told to stay away from me, and you just left. After you _promised_ you wouldn't hurt me."

"That's different! I had no choice!"

"Neither did they, Jake," I said, the sobs causing my chest to heave. "Not when Edward insisted. They're a family and they'll stay together no matter what. It's their nature."

"Their nature?" Jacob scoffed, and I couldn't hide the disappointment in my eyes at his sneering tone.

"They're not the bad guys…they came back here to help me," I said softly, the tears continuing to spill. "To help you and the rest of the pack. They're risking themselves here…how can I not forgive them?"

He sighed and held me closer, allowing me to cry as much as I needed.

I could feel a shift in the argument and I knew he was seeing reason. It was a start. I clung to him — my warm lifeline — and felt entirely comforted.

Finally, the tears lessened. My sobs subdued. I pulled back and took both of Jacob's large hands into my own, gazing into his eyes with intensity.

"Jacob, I want you to know…I'm…I am not crying over Edward. He is my past. _You_ are my future, and I love you. You know that, right?"

He nodded slowly, and I leaned in to kiss him swiftly.

"Just because I forgave the Cullens for leaving doesn't mean I forgive Edward… You're starting to help me realize a lot about my relationship with him, now that I see what _we_ have. Jacob, you're my friend _and _my boyfriend…I never realized how important it is to have both. You treat me like an equal. We're a team. It was never like that with him, and you were right when you said he didn't respect my wishes. You listen to my thoughts, my feelings…what _I_ want, and you don't overreact and make my decisions for me. And that's how I know that you'll be okay with me spending time with them."

A grudging smile began on his face as he comprehended my words.

"I just have a feeling that we'll always have that bond for the rest of our lives," I said with confidence. "You were meant to be in my life. All this talk about fate and imprinting we've been having lately…well I'm telling you, _that's_ fate!"

"I love you," he whispered, stroking my cheek with his thumb. "If you tell me you'll be safe around the Cullens, then I'll get used to it. I have to respect what you want…and my only concern would be for your safety in a house full of vampires. But if you really feel that it will be okay, then I only have one request…"

I lifted my eyebrows. "What's that?"

"Take a shower after you visit them…otherwise you'll absolutely _stink_!"


	15. Chapter 15 Reunited and it Feels So Good

I reluctantly started another week of school, tired and tense. Walking through the halls, I overheard snippets of conversations — about dates, baseball games, homework — and felt totally alone among my peers. I was dealing with stresses that were unprecedented for the typical 18-year old. My only relief was Angela, whose light conversation kept my mind preoccupied for the short time we were together.

My stomach was a ball of nerves. I was planning to go to the Cullens' house right after school, and I didn't quite know what I would ask or say. Jacob knew where I would be headed, and even though he said it was okay, I knew he wanted to run a wide perimeter of their house in case I "needed" him. I tried to assure him it wasn't necessary, but he told me it would make him feel better. I understood the gesture, but it reminded me of something Edward would probably do. It wasn't something I really expected from Jacob.

As I walked out to the parking lot with Angela and Ben, I heard a lot of murmuring from my classmates. There was a cautious, curious circle around where I parked. To my pleasant surprise, Jacob was leaning against the side of my truck, and my classmates were giving him a wide berth. I suppose he did look intimidating if you didn't already know him — six feet and several inches of Native American muscle. My face broke out in a smile and Angela nudged me, grinning.

As I drew closer, however, I saw Jacob's face. It was furious — his nose wrinkled and his eyes wide. I finally saw the short figure that Jacob's massive frame had been blocking. Alice had also come to Forks High School to greet me after class. She leaned against the back bumper of my vehicle, her nose also wrinkled but a less intimidating expression on her sweet face. Next to me, Angela gasped quietly and glanced at me with concern.

"It's okay, Angela," I told her. "I knew they were back…but…Edward's not with them. It doesn't matter anyway. See you tomorrow!" With that I left Angela shocked, with her mouth hanging open, and I broke out in a trot. I threw myself into Jacob's scorching hug, trying to prove a point to him by greeting him first.

He hugged me back gratefully and we both turned to Alice, who was watching us with surprised eyes. I held Jacob's slightly vibrating arm as I walked the few feet to her — dragging Jacob behind me — and squeezed her around the waist. "I'm so happy you're here!" I told her.

"I had to come…not because I was eager to see Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie again, but I saw that you would need some help finding the turnoff for the house. It's grown over quite a bit since…um, since we left." Her eyes dropped, ashamed.

I let go of Jacob so I could hug her tightly. "It's okay, Alice. You're here now. I'm not angry with you guys. I can't wait to get caught up with everyone — even Rosalie. Let's get going." I turned to pull my boyfriend down for a quick kiss, murmuring my affections, and noticed Alice stiffen slightly. Ugh, I guess we would have to talk about that…I forgot that she hadn't been able to see anything blossoming between Jacob and me.

Jacob said in a controlled voice over my head, "I'm not entirely comfortable with this, but if you think everything will be okay, I'll go on and head home." I shot him a questioning look, but couldn't help smiling at his progress. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "Call me if you need me…I'm only a few minutes' run away." And then to Alice, he said, "Don't think I won't come to that house if I feel Bella is in danger."

Alice's eyes flashed as she retorted, "I would never put Bella in danger if I could help it dog… oops... I meant Jacob. And don't worry — she reeks of werewolf so much that I think our control will not be an issue. Like anyone could eat something that smells like that…"

"Guys…" I warned, as I climbed into the truck. Alice gracefully slid into the passenger seat, an innocent expression on her face.

"I'll behave," she promised with a small sigh.

"I'll be out there if you need me," Jacob reminded me. "I love you, Bells."

"I love you too," I said firmly, kissing him through the driver's side window and watching as he walked to his motorcycle and sped off quickly, weaving and dodging around the cars lined up to get out of the lot.

Once we were on the road, Alice grasped my hand in her tiny, cold ones and turned to me with questioning eyes. I anticipated her question and answered it for her. "Yes, Jacob and I are together," I said firmly, glancing at her with a hint of defiance. "I can't sit back and wait for Edward to come back to me. I deserve to be happy."

"I never said you didn't, Bella," Alice said quietly. "But a young werewolf? If you thought Edward was dangerous…"

"I never, for a single moment, thought Edward would hurt me…physically," I added softly. "And Jacob won't either. You don't know him like I do."

"And you don't know werewolves like _we_ do," Alice stressed. "When I told the rest of the family, they were…well, we are all worried about you. Carlisle seemed to think everything would be fine, but Emmett and Jasper were nearly ready to start World War III in La Push. I think they're as protective of you as Edward always was. But you have to realize…with our family and the pack so entwined in your life, Victoria is just one of the dangers for you right now."

I shook my head vehemently. "I know you can't see what will happen, Alice, but I have faith that everything will be fine. And as far as Jacob and the pack…I hate to sound harsh, but you'll just have to get used to it."

She was silent for several minutes. She wasn't searching the future, she was just…still. Finally, I couldn't stand it.

"Alice, please tell me what you're thinking."

Her voice was small. "I just wonder how…I mean, you _loved_ Edward!"

I cringed slightly. "I still love Edward," I told her softly, "but when he left me, he told me how he really felt about me." I shook my head. "I was such a fool…"

"You can't believe anything Edward told you when he left," Alice cried. "He would have said anything to make it a clean break…he made a huge mistake when he left, but he thought it was for your own good. He loves you Bella…he _still_ loves you. I'd bet my existence on it."

A lump formed in my throat. I heard Alice's words, but Edward's harsher ones rang in my ear. _You're not good for me, Bella. It will be as if I'd never existed._

"So why isn't he here now?" I demanded. "If he's so in love with me, why is he staying away while you're all here fighting to protect me?" Alice's fingers tightened around my hand and her eyes flashed black for a moment, angry.

"He doesn't know we're here," Alice said, gritting her teeth. "I haven't seen or heard from him in months, and I don't think he's contacted Carlisle. Last I saw, he was in South America, attempting to track Victoria to keep her from you." My jaw dropped. "So you see, Bella…he's still thinking of you, trying to protect you. Don't think so poorly of my lovesick brother. He would do anything for you."

I suppressed a hurt, sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, everything but stay with me." Alice didn't retort. "It doesn't matter anymore, Alice," I said. "I'm glad to be with Jacob. He doesn't smother me or overreact…and we don't have to hold back when we're with one another."

"Everything you were missing with my brother," she murmured sadly. "Edward was such an idiot about so many things. I know he wanted to stay away forever and let you have a clean break, but I don't think I can stay out of your life anymore. Our family is tied to you, and he is a member of our family. What would you do if you saw him again someday?"

Pain pierced me at the very thought of seeing him again. "I honestly don't know," I said quietly. "I told myself he'd want me to move on, and I have. I am totally in love with Jacob. But it doesn't matter. When he left, he meant for it to be forever."

Alice's beautiful face was pitiful and conflicted. "I can see that you're happy, and I'm glad. It doesn't mean I'm not sad you won't be my sister now."

We were drawing close to the turnoff to the Cullen house and Alice pointed it out. I would have totally missed it; she had been right. "What about the others, Alice?" I whispered, unsure. "How do you think they'll feel about the whole situation?"

Alice thought for a moment, her eyes blank. Finally, she gave me a sad smile. "It will all be fine, Bella," she said. "A lot of us can't understand why you're so close to werewolves, but you've never been one to make predictable choices — it's part of what makes you Bella. And like I said before…you're a member of our family. We're just so glad to be reunited with you!" She squeezed my hand for support as we began the weaving trip up their driveway.

My foot had just touched the top step when the door flung open and Esme bounded gracefully toward me, her arms open and a wide smile on her face. "Bella!" she exclaimed happily, pressing her cheek against mine and squeezing me firmly. Tears sprang to my eyes and we held each other. Carlisle appeared behind her and beamed.

"Hi Carlisle," I said shyly over Esme's shaking shoulder. If she were capable of tears, I knew she would be crying. She released me reluctantly and ushered me through the door, where Emmett was waiting with a crushing hug of his own. He spun me around and we laughed together, like nothing had changed.

Emmett set me down and I looked up to meet the dark amber eyes of Jasper, who stood a mere foot in front of me, silently. The last time we had been this close, he was snapping at me as I lay in a pile of glass and blood. His eyes looked so sad, and I felt his guilt and shame in waves. I reached up slowly and stroked the side of his face. I had never been this close to him, but he was still my brother. I concentrated on my emotions to show him that I wasn't angry or scared — I was happy, and perhaps a little anxious about their reactions.

"It's okay, Jasper," I said softly. "There's nothing to forgive."

His eyes seemed to lighten and a small smile twitched on his lips. Then, to my surprise, he stepped forward and hugged me stiffly, then quickly stepped back and walked to Alice's side. She was giggling in delight watching the exchange.

Rosalie seemed to hesitate near the couch, so I took the initiative. I walked calmly to her and hugged her. She stiffened, but then relaxed and hugged me back briefly, whispering, "It's nice to be back."

"I'm glad you are," I responded, releasing her and looking around at all of their faces. Esme motioned for me to sit down, Alice settling next to me.

"Would you like some water, Bella?" Esme offered and I nodded gratefully before looking back at the Cullen patriarch and taking a deep breath.

"So, where did you go when you left?"

Carlisle smiled. "Well, first we went to Denali in Alaska — we have some like-minded friends there, and it gave us the opportunity to collect our bearings and plan our next move. Emmett and Rosalie wanted to get away alone for a while, so they traveled in Africa for several months while the rest of us settled in central New York state. Jasper, Esme and I enrolled in Cornell for the spring semester, and Alice had started attending a local high school almost immediately."

"But we were terribly unhappy away from you, Bella. You've made Forks into our favorite home," Esme's sweet voice chimed as she handed me a bottle of Aquafina. I looked around the room at all of them. They looked so happy, yet still so strained. They even seemed to avoid my eyes. I decided to address the elephant in the room and get it over with.

"Where's Edward? Why isn't he with you?"

Carlisle and Esme looked at each other and she sat down on the couch, covering her face with her hands. It hurt me to see her so obviously in pain. Carlisle placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He hasn't been with our family since October, Bella. He decided to try to find Victoria, and has been gone ever since. He doesn't know we're here, obviously. We promised him we wouldn't interfere, but knowing that she is hunting you…we just can't ignore it."

"If he's tracking Victoria, doesn't he know she's here?"

Emmett snorted. "He might be good at a lot of stuff, but tracking isn't one of them."

I turned to him. "Then why haven't you told him she's here?"

He shrugged. "We haven't talked to him in months."

In the background, Esme whimpered sadly. "He doesn't have his cell phone anymore, and he's not contacting us."

I looked around at their sad faces, feeling incredibly guilty. If only I hadn't cut my finger…

"Don't, Bella," Jasper's quiet voice came from the corner of the room, obviously feeling my guilt. "This is not your fault. If the fault lies with anyone, it lies with Edward and me. I was the one who couldn't control my...instincts. And Edward made the choices that we're all struggling with now. He decided to leave Forks, and you. And he decided to leave us too."

"But why?" I whispered.

Rosalie huffed. "If you hadn't already noticed, Edward is prone to over-reacting once in a while."

I chuckled sadly. "Yeah, I guess he is." We all smiled sorrowfully, sitting for a moment in shared, comfortable quiet. I gave a large sigh…I had even missed their stony silence.

Alice piped up. "Let's not all sit around and mourn…Bella, tell them your good news!"

"My… my good news?" I asked, confused.

"Bella's in love," Alice giggled, "with a werewolf!" Every head snapped toward me, and my ears grew hot. "It's Jacob Black," she continued, oblivious to my apparent embarrassment.

"I…um," I stammered, not knowing what to say. I wondered if they'd yell at me for my dangerous foolishness. I also felt as though they were accusing me with their silence — wondering why I had moved on from Edward — until Emmett spoke up.

"A werewolf, huh? Geez, Bella…I guess a nice, normal human boy just isn't your cup of tea!" His face held a wide smirk. "Mike Newton never stood a chance with you!"

"I'm so glad for you," Esme added warmly. "And I know Edward…well, he'd want you to be happy."

"It hurt to let him go," I said softly. "I don't think he'll ever be out of my heart completely, and I hope you know how hard it was for me to move on. I don't want you to be angry with me for this."

Carlisle eyes flashed. "We could never, Bella. It was not your fault that you and Edward are no longer together, and we could never have expected you to pine your years away for someone who's no longer here." Esme and Emmett nodded in agreement and I felt waves of calm and smiled at Jasper gratefully. Carlisle continued, cautiously. "But, are you sure he's safe to be around? We love you and will support whatever choice you make, but I just want to make sure you understand the risks involved."

"I'm sure, Carlisle…and, I appreciate your concern. But I know Jacob better than anyone else, and I have faith in him and his control. Just like I do for all of you."

"Speaking of your werewolf," Rosalie started, "are you sure you want to go along with this plan of theirs? It puts you in great risk, Bella."

"I'm sure," I told her. "I trust the pack with my life — they've already saved me once." The Cullens all nodded; no doubt Alice had filled them in regarding the Laurent situation. "And now that you're here, we'll definitely have the advantage. I just hate that you're putting yourselves in danger because of me. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic that you're here…it's just that you didn't _have_ to come."

Alice moved at my side and put her arm around me, squeezing me softly. "Yes we did," she said firmly. "I don't think you realize how important you are to us. Whether you're with Edward or not, we love you." Tears smarted my eyes at her words.

"Thanks, Alice," I whispered. "Do you even feel that way now that I don't want to be changed?"

Rosalie sighed in relief. "Not at all...I don't know how everyone else feels, but I think that's good news, Bella. Your humanity is too important."

We all fell silent. I fidgeted a bit in Alice's embrace, but they remained like stone. After a moment, Esme spoke up.

"So, you love Jacob Black, then? You're happy?"

I smiled at her. "I'm very happy, Esme. I was so broken when Edward left me, and Jacob fixed me. I don't know what you would have returned to see if he hadn't been there for me. I was like a shell of myself. He's really wonderful. I hope you all get a chance to see that."

"Hmph! Making friends with a werewolf…that could be interesting," Emmett said. "If we could get past the smell, at least — which reminds me…you stink like wet dog, Bella! Ouch!" he exclaimed as Rosalie smacked him on the arm.

I rolled my eyes as he dropped next to me on the couch. "Watch it, Emmett," I said, a teasing smirk on my face, "or I'll have my boyfriend beat you up." The Cullens laughed, and I nudged him playfully. Alice took my hand, and we all remained there for the next three hours — talking, laughing, and sharing stories. It was like old times, with only one glaring absence.

**

Alice insisted on accompanying me back to my house that night. "I miss Charlie," she whined. I was torn. I knew that Charlie would be happy to see his favorite little ball of energy, but I knew her presence — her family's presence — would make him worry about me and my frame of mind. Alice's pleading eyes won me over, and she also promised that she would take me to the combined vampire/werewolf 2 a.m. pow-wow. And so here we were, in my truck on our way home, Alice sitting in the passenger seat.

She sighed audibly at our steady speed, and gave me a critical once-over with her buttery eyes. "What happened to you, Bella?" she asked, her voice sounding sad. "I was finally starting to get through to you about fashion, and now I see you in flannels? And…is that dirt on your jeans?" Her voice was horrified and I snorted in laughter. "How did you get dirt on your jeans?"

"Well, to be honest, Alice, this is the fourth time I've worn them this week," I said, a smirk on my face. I waited for her reaction, and she didn't disappoint.

"Bella Swan! That's just…that's disgusting." She shook her head. "That's it, I'm taking you shopping. You have only five days until Victoria comes to La Push, and I'm making sure Jacob sees you in a different outfit every day."

"Alice…" I griped. She held up her hand, shushing me. I rolled my eyes, amused. "You know, for someone so interesting, you're kind of one-dimensional, you know that? You really need to branch out with your interests."

"What would you recommend?" she asked, her smile apparent in her voice.

"I don't know…gardening? Origami…or maybe tennis?" We laughed together as I pulled into my driveway. Alice practically flew out of the truck and pranced around me as I walked in the front door.

As usual, Charlie was parked in front of the television, a can of Rainier beer in his hand — his beloved "Vitamin R." The Mariners were losing on the screen. It was just another Monday night. Until a twinkling voice called out, "Charlie?"

My dad's head flew around at us in the entryway, his eyes widening at the sight of a quivering Alice, who squealed and launched herself at him. I scoffed, but couldn't help smiling as I saw Charlie hugging her back tightly, a broad smile on his face.

"Well, Alice…how are you doing, hon?" He was happy, but his eyes were cautious as they fell on me. I grinned at him, trying to silently convey that all was well.

"I'm great, Charlie! It's so nice to see you again…I was telling Bella when she was over at our house that I just had to come and see you! And then Bella said, 'why don't you just spend the night, too?' I hope I wouldn't be too much trouble…I just missed her so much." I opened my mouth at her words, but closed it quickly. Alice was a master at manipulating my dad, and was setting the stage beautifully for us to sneak out that night.

Charlie looked at me. "Alice, you guys were at your house? Is your whole family back then?" He didn't say it, but I knew what he meant by the question. _Is Edward back then_?

"Most of us are," she replied. "Mom was unhappy in L.A., and wanted to spend some time back here for a week or two, while I was on spring break. I think she's trying to convince Dad to move back. Oh, Charlie! It's so good to see you and Bella! California is nothing compared to Forks!"

I stifled a laugh and Charlie just looked dazed at her incessant chattering. Alice grabbed my hand and said," Come on, Bella. You have to catch me up on all of the gossip from our old crowd," and pulled me up the stairs to my room. I obliged, looking back with a grin as my father gave a confounded wave in our direction.

Once we were in my room with the door closed, I turned to talk to Alice, but she was already in my closet, throwing clothes around, making exclamations of horror occasionally. I sighed and sat on the bed. Same ol' Alice…same beautiful, sweet Alice, whom I had missed so much that I didn't object to her using me as a living doll that she could dress up.

She flounced out, carrying a few articles of my clothing. "Seriously, Bella? Do you own anything besides flannel anymore? This is so hard to work with!" I just grinned at her as she let out an exasperated, "Gah!"

"So, what's going to happen tonight?" I asked her as she held belts up to an oversized blue and black flannel, her brow creased in concentration.

"Hmm? Tonight? Oh, of course. Jasper is going to teach us, and the pack, how to fight newborns. They're very different from older vampires in their fighting style." She considered a pair of tight black yoga pants, throwing my jeans to the side, where they landed perfectly in my laundry hamper. "Remind me to have you tell him a bit of his story…that way you'll understand."

"Are _you_ going to fight, Alice?" I asked, quietly. I couldn't imagine my tiny friend battling a snarling, red-eyed vampire. Esme either.

"Of course, Bella," she chirped, holding up her final design. "Now come here so I can see how this looks on you." I obliged without a word, my mind racing with worry for the Cullens and the pack.

**

Alice and I arrived in the clearing just after two in the morning. She had carried me on her back, and I couldn't help remembering happier times racing through the woods. She set me down gently and stepped away from me as she saw Jacob approaching in his human form. His eyes were wide with concern, and I could tell he was sizing me up and down, looking for any sign of harm.

Finding none, he wrapped his arms around me and murmured, "I missed you."

I laughed softly, pulling away to place a kiss on his bare chest. "You just saw me at my school earlier!"

He buried his nose in my hair. "Still…," he said with a grin, before grimacing. "Ugh, your hair smells horrible! I can't even smell your shampoo." I punched him lightly in the stomach, scoffing. I noticed Alice narrow her eyes at him and Jasper chose that moment to come to her side, perhaps sensing her annoyance.

I gave her a warning glance. "Alice, play nice."

She looked shocked, a "who, me?" innocent expression on her face, and the two of them walked to join the rest of the Cullens. Emmett looked excited, Esme uncertain. I knew Carlisle dreaded the thought of killing another creature, even one as dangerous as Victoria.

Jacob walked me over to a grassy spot on the side of the clearing. I looked around for Emily and Kim, but realized they were nowhere around. "Sam and Jared thought it would be safer for them if they stayed home," Jacob confessed. I felt a flare of anger, but Jacob's expression pleaded with me to understand. "Sam and Jared don't know the Cullens like you do. It's hard enough for them to accept their help. Honestly, I figured the Cullens would try to leave you at home to keep you away from the Big Bad Wolf," he said, smiling.

I understood, but I still plopped myself on the ground with a huff. He stifled a smirk and leaned down to press his warm lips to my forehead. In the darkness, I heard Carlisle's voice ring out. "Can we begin?"

I strained my eyes to see Jasper walking to the middle of the field, motioning for his family and the pack to meet him there. Jacob turned to walk from me, tugging his shorts down in preparation to phase. I couldn't resist breaking the tense silence with a whistle when I saw his toned rear. He threw an amused look over his shoulder and I blew him a kiss. His human body disappeared and in its place stood my enormous russet wolf.

I stared in awe for the next two hours. I couldn't hear most of what Jasper was saying, but I watched as, one-by-one, each of the Cullens stalked forward to practice attacking him. Alice's grace and talent aided her well in her defense, while Emmett's burly strength made him dangerous when on the offensive. I cringed as Esme was cornered by Jasper again and again in their battles, her dislike of fighting and her limitations apparent. Rosalie and Jasper came to a draw nearly every time they sparred, Emmett snarling instinctively each time he saw his brother stalk toward his wife. Carlisle surprised me with his skill, besting Jasper several times. During it all, the wolves lay in a semi-circle around the scene, watching with alert eyes and occasional growls.

I was just starting to nod off when I noticed the Cullens getting ready to leave and some of the wolves phasing back to talk to them. Groggy and stiff, I stood up. My clothing was damp from dew and I suppressed a shiver. My throat was scratchy and I groaned as I swallowed. _Ugh_.

Through the darkness, I saw the shape of a giant wolf coming toward me. Some of the other wolves whined and Sam, in his human form, shouted, "Jake!" warningly. The wolf didn't hesitate until he was right in front of me, ducking his head until his wet nose bumped against my cheek. I giggled and ran my fingers through the thick fur on the sides of his face.

"Hey Jake," I murmured. Jacob sat on his haunches and rubbed his head in the crook of my neck in a wolfy hug. I was aware of everyone watching us — Jasper had a slightly disgusted look on his handsome face. I didn't care. I scratched his head while he thrummed contently in his throat. "Are we all done here?" I asked him, looking into eyes that were _my Jacob's_ warm eyes. He nodded his head and stepped back from me. In an instant, the wolf was gone and a naked Jacob stood before me, unabashed. He pulled his shorts on and hoisted me up into his embrace, where I wriggled against his heated skin, trying to thaw as much as possible.

We must have looked intimate, because everyone avoided our private embrace for nearly 15 minutes until Alice pranced up and paused a few feet away.

"Bella? We need to get you home. Charlie will be waking in less than an hour."

I reluctantly detangled my limbs from Jacob's comforting warmth, pausing only to brush my lips softly against his. He sighed into my mouth and pulled me closer for a few more moments of our kiss. We pulled apart and he nuzzled his nose into my hair, murmuring, "love you."

My answering whisper conveyed my emotion. "You too…so much."


	16. Chapter 16 Out of Commission

_Author's note: If you're enjoying "Like Night and Day," please read my one-shots here on FF. And then come and discuss LNAD on the Twilighted forums! Also, feel free to follow me on Twitter - EllaB_twilight. Thanks for reading!_

**

I awoke Tuesday morning to the sound of my alarm. With a grumble, I hit snooze and then realized that my throat was raw and my neck ached with swollen glands. I sat up slightly, groaning again as I felt the stiffness in my arms and legs and the stuffiness in my nose. I suppressed a shiver and gathered my blankets around me once again and plopped back onto my pillow. Now was no time to be sick.

I suppose it was inevitable. I had been depriving myself of sleep and hanging out in chilly, mist-filled clearings for hours at a time. Mustering up my energy, I called out. "Daaaaad!"

Charlie came to my door a few moments later, holding a cup of coffee and already dressed for work. "Yeah, Bells?"

"I'm sick," I groused. "Can you call school and tell them I won't be in today? I'm pretty sure I have a fever." Charlie nodded and asked me if I needed anything. "No, it's okay. I'll just try to get some sleep and have some soup or something a little bit later."

"I'll call and check on you later today, then," he said before turning and leaving.

I grumbled to myself and turned on my side, staring at the window where the first signs of light were coming. I slowly drifted back to sweet, blissful, needed sleep.

**

Not even an hour later, I was roughly awoken by strong hands grabbing my shoulders and a voice shouting at me. Terrified, I shrieked, and then opened my eyes to see Jacob and Quil standing by my bed.

"Jake, what the hell?" I croaked angrily, snatching my covers to pull them up to my neck instinctively. My head throbbed at me as I gave them both the stink eye.

"I had to see if you were okay, Bella…I didn't know if you were..." Jacob said, "Quil's been keeping tabs on the house today, and when he didn't see you leave for school…well, he let me know. I thought something might have happened."

"With Victoria?" I asked, my voice softening in my pained throat. Jacob shook his head no and looked very guilty. "Well, what else could have possibly happened? Wait, did you think maybe one of the Cullens might have…" His face told me I had hit the nail on the head. "Jake! I thought this wasn't an issue!"

"I'm trying, Bella," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm sorry…I overreacted." He sat down on my bed and looked me up and down. "So what gives? Have you decided to drop out too?"

I gave him a weak punch in the arm, feeling suddenly sleepy now that the adrenaline had calmed. "Ha ha, very funny. Actually, I woke up this morning feeling pretty rotten — I think it's a cold, but I feel like crap and didn't want to take the chance of being miserable in class all day and infecting half of Forks High School." I yawned.

Quil silently climbed out of the window while Jake and I continued talking.

"I knew all of this was pushing you too hard, hon," he said, gathering me against his bare chest. He jumped slightly when I pressed my cold fingers against him, trying to warm them. His heat was comforting, and I found myself drowsing again. "Can I get you anything?"

"Don't need…just…sleep…soup," I mumbled as I drifted off in his arms. I was vaguely aware of him laying me down gently and kissing my forehead before my sleep took me.

**

Several hours later, I awoke on my own accord. I stretched, still feeling miserable but not as exhausted. My pajamas were clinging to my body with sweat — my fever must have broken during my nap. Without warning, I heard a soft snore and sat up in bed, confused. I looked at the rocking chair out of habit, but the snoring wasn't coming from there. I looked around and saw the source of the noise.

Jacob was curled on the floor next to my bed, fast asleep. He had covered himself with my bathrobe, but it barely covered his shoulders and back. He looked uncomfortable, but I didn't want to wake him — he needed sleep even more than I did.

I pulled back my covers and tiptoed past his drowsing form to the bathroom. I made a face when I saw myself in the mirror. My hair was plastered to my forehead and dark circles stained my face under my eyes. My mouth tasted sour. I grabbed some Tylenol and brushed my teeth. Peeling off my damp clothing, I turned the hot water on and stepped into the shower. It felt heavenly as I scrubbed my hair and stood under the steaming water. I stayed in until the water began to lose its heat.

Wrapping one towel around my hair and one around my body, I snuck back into my room to grab some clothes as quietly as possible so as not to wake Jacob. When I pushed my door open, I saw that it was not necessary. Jacob sat cross-legged on my bed, holding a bowl of chicken noodle soup and looking at me with a warm smile.

"I found some in the pantry downstairs."

"Oh, Jake," I croaked, going over to kiss his cheek. "You're too sweet."

He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. His breath was warm on my ear. "And you're too tempting…why don't you get dressed and then you can have your soup?" I nodded and set about grabbing some sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt before I went to my underwear drawer for a bra and panties. I felt Jacob's eyes on me as I pawed through the cotton, silk and lace. Grinning with a light flush, I selected a sports bra and some comfortable cotton underwear and took all of my selections back into the bathroom with me.

Soon I was back in my bed, slurping broth and scooping up noodles. I always thought there was something magically healing about chicken noodle soup, but soup made by Jacob seemed to make me feel even better. Finishing every drop, I thanked him and handed him the bowl when he held out his hands.

"Is there anything else I can get you?" he asked, setting the bowl on my nightstand and taking my hands in his. I could feel the start of another fever coming on, and shuddered as a chill went through me.

"Maybe…a Coke?" I asked. He nodded and stood to retrieve it, but I stopped him. "And then…could you just lay down with me? I'm starting to get chills again…"

"Of course, Bells," he said softly, picking up the empty soup bowl. "I'll be right back."

Once he left the room, I sighed contently and rubbed my eyes. He was entirely too good to me. I moaned and stretched, and when I opened my eyes, I was startled to see Alice standing at the foot of my bed, my window slightly open now.

"Bella, is everything okay?" she asked me, coming to sit on the bed. "I saw myself going to the high school to see you during lunch, and you weren't there. So I just skipped all of that and thought I'd come here."

"I'm sick, Alice," I said, "You couldn't see that in your vision?"

At that moment, my bedroom door flew open and an enraged Jacob stood there, trembling — a can of Coke in his hand. When he saw that it was Alice, he calmed somewhat, but they stood there staring at one another with furious looks on their faces.

Alice turned back to me, her nose wrinkled. "No, I couldn't see that…you must have been with Jacob. I can't see you at all when you're with the dogs." I heard a quiet growl from Jacob's chest at her words.

I held my now-aching head. "Guys, really? I'm sick and not in the mood for your bickering. You two need to be nice to each other, or leave. It's up to you," I grumbled.

Jacob's angry face faded and he walked to my side, handing me the soda. "I'll be good," he said, sticking his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout.

I laughed lightly. "Jake, hon…I think you shook this Coke up too much. I really don't want it to explode, so could you maybe get me another one?"

"Sure, sure," he said, his eyes flickering to Alice quickly as he left the room again. I whirled to Alice.

"I think you surprised him," I tried to explain his growling, "but even so, you don't have to antagonize him, Alice! He's important to me…the most important person in my life."

Alice sighed. "You really do love him, don't you…" She smiled sadly. "I'll do better, I promise. But only because it's for you," she added as Jacob came back in the room with an unshaken can of soda. He sat next to me as I opened it and rubbed his hands up and down my arms to keep me warm.

"Can you see anything new for Saturday?" Jacob asked Alice politely. I leaned against his heat, happy that he seemed to be trying to get along too.

"I can't right now," she explained. "Whenever your kind are too close, I'm totally blind to the future." Her eyes were careful, and I had a suspicion she wasn't telling us something. "But it still seems like everything will be as we planned…it's definitely Saturday, probably close to one in the afternoon."

"Thanks," Jacob voice was gruff, and he took my half-empty can from me and eased me down onto my side, laying next to me and spooning me closely. I sighed and snuggled into his warm skin. Alice looked slightly uncomfortable, but Jacob said, "Bella has a fever…I'm trying to keep the chills away."

"Of course," she said, her voice just a bit too bright. "Shall I leave you alone?"

I sat up slightly. "No, Alice…please stay for a while. It's nice to have you both here with me." The two of them gave each other a wary glance, but seemed to relax slightly. "Jake, are you going to take me tonight, or should I have Alice?"

"Bells, I think you need to rest and get better," Jacob said. I started to retort, but he interrupted. "Saturday is going to be a stressful day, and you need to be at your best."

"All I'm doing is standing there," I complained. "How difficult is that? I can do that if I'm sick."

"I agree with Jacob," Alice said, and I turned to her, surprised. "Besides, when you're sick, you don't smell as good…and you have to be able to lure the newborns to you. Most vampires avoid feeding on sick humans — the blood doesn't taste as good."

Jacob trembled slightly as Alice talked about how good I would taste. I sighed, disappointed. "I'm not going to get Jacob sick, am I? Maybe I should quarantine myself from the pack. Jake, can…can werewolves even get sick?"

"I don't know," Jacob said, unsure. "We heal from injury really quickly, but I don't think we've ever thought about germs and stuff. I don't think anyone's had a cold or the flu since phasing…Jared still has his allergies, though, and Seth has had to use his asthma inhaler a few times."

Alice looked thoughtful. "You wolves certainly are interesting creatures. I didn't see anything like an illness being an issue on Saturday, but next time I'm away from the wolves, I'll check. But, it still might be a good idea for Jacob to keep his distance." Jacob snarled softly at her words, and she held her hands up. "Just until Bella's better, Jacob! We all need you to be at 100%...my family included."

He softened. "Oh," he said simply. "I guess I didn't think about that. We really are working together on this, aren't we? You want to protect your family, just like I'm protecting the pack and Bella."

"Bella is our family, too," she reminded him. "We all want the same conclusion here."

We all fell silent. The atmosphere was slightly awkward, and finally, Jacob stood reluctantly.

"I guess I better go, then," he said quietly. "I'll miss you Bells…hurry and get better soon."

"I'll let you both know when she'll be better," Alice said to Jacob. He nodded.

He kissed my cheek tenderly, lingering just a moment and whispering, "Love you…"

I smiled up at him. "I love you too," I said, my voice slightly nasal from the cold. I blinked once, and he was gone. Shaking my head, I couldn't help but laugh, "Everyone is so much faster than me."

**

Alice and I spent the afternoon downstairs, watching television while she brushed and styled my long hair several different ways. As the time drew near for Charlie to be home, I still didn't feel very well. At one point, Alice's face went blank as she saw something in the future. When her focus cleared, she admitted I probably wouldn't be able to see Jacob until Friday, and that tomorrow I'd feel even worse than I did today. Discouraged, I stomped upstairs to the bathroom and took some Nyquil so I could at least have a long, uninterrupted night of sleep. Then I rejoined Alice, whom I found in the kitchen making a sandwich.

I snickered as I saw her. "Hungry, Alice?"

She smiled as she worked. "I thought I'd make it for Charlie. I don't know much about human germs, but I don't think you should touch his food. I don't want him getting sick…" Her concern for my father touched me. I knew she loved him, but it was another thing to see her caring for him like a second daughter. "Jasper's on his way over," she casually remarked. "He wanted to go over a few things with you for Saturday."

As if on cue, a light knock sounded at the door, followed by a loud booming one and a snicker. Alice sighed. I went to answer the door, and found Jasper on my porch, Emmett behind him with a big grin on his face. I could feel Jasper's annoyance, and it made me annoyed too.

"Emmett, please behave yourself," I pleaded in my croaking voice. "Jasper and I have important things to go over."

Emmett's smile faded. "Aww hell, Bella…I wasn't going to do anything. I knew you were sick and I wanted to check on you. And I missed you, too…" If a vampire could blush, I knew his cheeks would be pink.

My annoyance faded immediately. "Sorry Emmett," I said, stepping forward to hug him. His nose wrinkled as I did. "Werewolf?" I asked. "Jacob was here earlier."

"No…you just smell weird, Bella. You really must be sick. Usually you smell so good…"

I sat down on the couch with a plop, moaning as my head throbbed from the action. "I really need to get better by Saturday," I mumbled as Jasper sat next to me. My headache and muscle pains immediately faded, and I looked at him in wonder. He shrugged.

"I wanted you to feel some relief," he said simply. I smiled at him, taking a deep breath through my now-clear nasal passages. I felt almost normal again — Jasper's gift was incredible. We sat there in comfortable stillness; the only sound that of Alice humming as she fixed Charlie's dinner.

Finally, Jasper spoke. "Bella," he began, "I wanted to take the opportunity to explain why I'm so involved in the planning process for this battle. Alice mentioned my past but didn't go into detail, right?"

I nodded. It had been interesting and curious to see the rest of the Cullens defer to Jasper during the late-night sessions — I had always seen him as on the outskirts of the family, being the newest "vegetarian" and all.

"Well, I haven't always led such a relaxed existence, Bella. For a long time, my life was about war." He held his arm out to me and I studied his skin, gasping as I noticed the faint criss-cross markings covering every inch. How had I never noticed these scars?

"Are these...?"

"Vampire bites," Jasper nodded. "Specifically, _newborn_ vampire bites." And he proceeded to tell me a heartbreaking story of his change at the hands of a woman named Maria. My eyes grew wide at his description of vampire wars in the South, in which he was a crucial participant. Finally, he told me how he broke away from that lifestyle and found Alice.

I was speechless, and hugged him before I realized what I was doing. He froze, but didn't push me away. I was grateful he trusted me enough to share his story. Emmett chuckled at Jasper's strained face over my shoulder, and I broke away, feeling the discomfort rolling off his body. Jasper ran his fingers through his hair shakily, his eyes fading from dark to their usual golden hue. "Sorry," I sputtered.

"It's okay, Bella…your cold and the medicine you must have taken are making you quite resistible. Anyway, now that we have that out of the way, let's talk about your position and responsibilities for Saturday."

I clutched a pillow to my stomach as anxiety settled over me. It was immediately placated by Jasper's gift.

"I will meet Emily at her aunt's house at 8 a.m. to get a shower and wash any traces of vampires or werewolves from me. The two of us will head to the beginning of the easternmost walking trail in La Push at 9 a.m.," I began. "I'll have good boots and comfortable clothes on. Alice will call me on my cell phone to tell the two of us where to walk. We'll follow her directions and walk several miles into the forest surrounding La Push, then I'll remain in the Clearwater's yard until the battle and Emily will go to the Makah reservation."

Much to Sam's discomfort, it was necessary to have Emily's assistance with this part of the plan. I didn't know my way through many of the La Push trails, and we couldn't have a werewolf or vampire show me the way, because we needed a clean scent that could be picked up by the attacking vampires. The Clearwater's house was in a central location on the reservation, giving us a buffer before we hit the ocean — if Victoria's group made it there, they would have an advantage over the werewolves.

Jasper nodded and handed me a tissue for my now-running nose. Alice continued her quietly-hummed song from the kitchen where she continued preparing Charlie's dinner. I noticed that she had already finished three sandwiches and was working on a fourth, and I snorted in laughter as I blew my nose.

"I don't think he'll be that hungry, Alice," I said, wiping my swollen nose. Emmett settled next to me on the couch and threw his granite arm around my shoulders where it was surprisingly comfortable. I nestled against him, pressing my feverish forehead against his chest.

Jasper hesitated before he spoke. "Bella, I have to ask you something, and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. But it's important when dealing with a newborn." I motioned for him to continue, my eyes wide. "Is there a chance you'll be…menstruating…on Saturday?"

I spluttered, the my cheeks turning crimson. Emmett chuckled lowly. "No," I managed to gasp.

"Okay," Jasper looked thoughtful. "That's a shame. It really drives newborns crazy." He glanced at Alice, who was now standing in the doorway. "Okay Bella, there's something I'm going to ask you to do, but I couldn't ask you in front of Jacob. He's too protective of you and would try to stop you."

"I want to do anything to help," I said firmly, sitting up and feeling a slight head rush from the Nyquil. "What is it?"

"I know you're squeamish about…your blood," he said, his eyes glinting black for a moment before he gained his composure. "But I wanted to see if you would consider cutting yourself to leave traces of blood along the trail, and then make sure you have some on your clothes for when they come to you at the Clearwater's."

I looked at Alice and Emmett, and their faces were serious. "If you think that's a good idea, then I'll do it. But won't that distract you guys too?"

Emmett gave me a squeeze and I leaned into him, suddenly exhausted. "No way, little sis. We can control ourselves, and we don't want any harm to come to you. But it will distract the hell out of those newborns…maybe even enough that we can finish them in a few minutes."

Alice spoke from the doorway to the kitchen. "I've been looking very closely at what might happen, and it's difficult because the werewolves make everything disappear. But I see you walking with Emily, and your arm is bleeding. And I can see you after the battle with me, and we're both safe." Her eyes went out of focus for a second before she broke out into a big smile. "Now that you've made the decision, I can see the outcome more clearly. Jazz, you take me to Seattle next week to celebrate." She giggled as she walked to his side and they gazed at each other for a second, sharing a moment of joy and relief that they both apparently would be okay after the battle.

"What about Rose?" Emmett said quietly. "Can you see what happens with her?" I noticed that he didn't ask about himself. Alice was quiet for a moment before grinning at him. His face was relieved.

I stood to walk over to Alice and my legs failed me. Emmett caught me before I could hit the ground. I chuckled against his shoulder, feeling drunk as the room spun. The Nyquil was finally taking effect. I heard Alice and Emmett speaking in low voices, but all I could make out was "medicine," "sleep" and "room."

"I'm tired," I mumbled as I felt myself being carried up the stairs before giving way to blissful sleep.

**

Nearly thirteen hours later, I woke up. I shook, sniffled, swallowed and cursed Alice for being right about her predictions. My nose was totally blocked and I could barely swallow. It would be another soup and Tylenol day.


	17. Chapter 17 The Moment

By the time Thursday night came, I knew I would be able to go back to school on Friday. I had never been more relieved to be over an illness in my life. When Alice arrived after Charlie and I had finished dinner, I happily skipped to her, giving her a gleeful hug.

"You look much better," she observed loudly, then leaned close to my ear and whispered, "And you smell delicious…" I shuddered once, and then beamed at her. She laughed and pulled me down next to her on the couch before turning to my father.

"Charlie?" her sweet voice rang. "Now that Bella is better, could she spend the weekend with me? I've had so many plans for the two of us, but I had to put them all on hold when she got sick." Alice made a pouty face, and I saw my tough, no-nonsense father melt into a puddle of goo.

"Well, I really don't want her to overdo things and get herself sick again," he started, watching Alice's hopeful face, "but as long as you don't stay out all night and let her get her sleep, I'm fine with it. Sue wanted me to go to some tribal event on Saturday anyway." His face turned red and I almost laughed to see where I inherited my blush. Charlie began to clean the table off and I gave Alice a quizzical look when he was out of sight.

"Tomorrow night too?" This hadn't been in the plans. I was staying with the Cullens on Saturday night, but I had assumed I'd sleep in my room on Friday and meet them first thing Saturday morning.

"Of course, Bella!" she said, smiling knowingly at me.

I couldn't hide my disappointment — I had hoped to spend some time with Jacob before the battle. Alice, as if reading my mind, smiled sympathetically.

"You know Jacob will have to meet with the rest of the pack."

I nodded, my eyes blurring with tears a bit. It had been days since I'd seen him, and I was so worried about him fighting the vampires. I would never tell him, because I know what he'd say, but I was terrified for his safety. All I wanted was some time with him, and now Sam was taking it away. Alice's eyes were concerned as she searched my expression. I shrugged, slightly giving her a half smile. My fears of abandonment were staring me in the face, but I was numb.

Alice leaned toward me. "It will be okay…you'll see."

"How can you know that for sure?" I asked. "You can't see Jacob's future." My happiness at being over my cold had dissipated to anxiety and disappointment, and now all I wanted to do was lay down and have a quick cry. Alice remained silent, watching me with an agitated look on her face. I sighed when I saw her concern. "Alice, don't mind me…I'm just worried, I guess. I'm not mad at you or anything."

After a moment, she gave me a sympathetic smile. "I wish I could tell you that everything would be okay for him…I really do, Bella. But I also trust that it will all work out…I just can't see it for sure."

I matched her sad smile and fought the tears. I really wanted to be alone at that moment. "Hey, Alice? Don't take this the wrong way, but I really just need to catch up on the homework Angela brought home for me and get to sleep. I guess I'll see you after school tomorrow?"

She nodded understandingly. "Don't forget to pack for Saturday."

_Saturday_. Like I could forget.

**

For the first night in nearly two weeks, I remembered my dreams, and they made me blush in the morning when I awoke. Jacob. We had been back in the hot springs, kissing and touching and enjoying one another. But instead of being his usual warm self, Jacob's skin had been ice cold — an intense contrast to the hot natural springs.

It felt incredible, and I was disappointed when I awoke, knowing I'd have to face another day without him. The fear in my heart reminded me that it might be the last day we could have spent together. I cried myself hoarse in the shower, missing him and worrying.

**

I felt bitter and a bit terrified all day on Friday, wishing I could see Jacob before all of our planning was put into motion. There was so much I wanted to say to him. There was so much I wanted to _do_ with him. I had never let him take me miniature golfing like he had suggested a few times — I knew he wanted to, but I had always resisted. He had never had one of my world-famous enchiladas — there were always too many pack responsibilities to attend to. We had never been on a picnic, or gone to a concert, or taken a road trip together.

There were other things we had never done. I spaced out while contemplating my sandwich at lunch, thinking about how close I wish I could hold him…how passionately I would kiss him. How much I wanted to give myself to him completely. I moaned audibly, which drew glares from Lauren and Jessica.

The bell rang and I stood to walk to class. I was surprised when Mike fell in step next to me.

"Hey Bella," he said uncertainly. The corners of my mouth lifted as I remembered the last time we had spoken — actually, Mike had been incapable of conversation, vomiting into a popcorn tub. My smile must have encouraged him, because he continued. "I'm kind of organizing another beach trip. A few of us are going to be going to the tidal pools at La Push over the weekend…Eric, Lauren, Tyler, Jessica, Angela, Ben…wanna come?"

My eyes widened in panic. "When are you guys planning to go?"

"Saturday."

My heart sank. In all of our planning, none of us had ever anticipated non-residents at La Push. It was stupid on our part. How could we have overlooked it?

"Mike, the entire res will be empty that day…there's a tribal event up near Port Angeles."

He smiled. "Even more reason why it will be awesome. The beach will be all ours!"

I tried to think of something — _anything_ — that would change their plans. As I saw Mike's hopeful eyes shining down at me as we stood outside of our classroom, I knew what would work. I only hoped he wouldn't hate me for it later.

"I'm not in a beach mood, Mike," I said, looking up at him through my eyelashes in a pathetic attempt at flirting. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "There is this movie I've been wanting to see though…"

"A movie?" he repeated uncertainly, no doubt thinking of our last cinematic outing. "Do you want to see another action flick? There's 'The Murmur of Fire in the Vein' that just came out last week, and I think 'Trust in Advertising' is still playing. Or a comedy? My older sister said 'The Office' was pretty good, but I saw the trailer for 'Work in Progress,' and it looked pretty funny."

I smiled at him softly, putting my hand on his arm. His eyes were huge. "Actually, I was thinking about 'Wide Awake.' It's supposed to be really romantic and stuff. Maybe we could convince everyone to go to that with us instead of the beach."

I knew I had him at the word "us." He started stammering, a wide smile on his face. "I think that sounds great! Maybe we could go to the beach in the afternoon and the movie at night?"

"Well, umm…I have to help my Dad with something tomorrow night, so if we went, it would have to be a matinee."

The smile never faded from his face. "I think that would work with everyone. Would you let me take you to dinner afterwards?"

I grimaced on the inside, feeling horrible for lying right to his face. But I needed to free up several hours after 1 p.m. for his safety — and the safety of the rest of them.

"Sure!" I enthused brightly as he pulled his phone out and began trying to get a signal while we walked in and took our seats. I saw him chattering excitedly to Eric as he scrolled for movie times on his cell. I was amazed at how easy it had been to change his plans. Mike always liked me much more than I realized.

"Psst! Bella!" his loud whisper filled the room as our teacher walked in. I snapped my head around at him, aware that every eye was on me. "It's showing at two-thirty." I shook my head yes and turned back to the front. I sighed quietly and began thinking of excuses for why I would be standing them all up tomorrow.

**

After the final bell, I couldn't hurry out of school fast enough. One, so I could tell Alice about this new complication; and two, so I could avoid an overly hopeful Mike Newton. Alice was waiting for me, a wide grin decorating her sweet face. She seemed overly excited to see me.

I looked at her warily. "Hey Alice, what's going on?" She squealed and gave me a quick hug before climbing into the passenger side. She never answered my question; instead she fidgeted in an energized, non-vampire way as I told her about the Newton situation. She giggled when I explained my solution to the problem, and gave herself a moment to search the future.

"He'll forgive you far too easily," she finally said, stifling a laugh. "Jessica and Lauren won't be quite as understanding." I grumbled as she took out her cell phone.

"Who are you calling?"

"Carlisle," she said. "He needs to call Sam to let him know of this new problem. Maybe they can station some security at the entrance to La Push to keep the general public out."

"But what will you do about the resort and the RV Park?" I asked, worried.

"They're on the far end of the reservation, several miles from where we'll be meeting Victoria. But perhaps they can encourage the tourists to travel to watch the whale hunt as well."

She murmured on the phone for several minutes before snapping it shut and turning to me. "It will all work out, Bella. You'll see. We'll keep you safe."

"You know that's not my only concern."

Her beautiful face clouded. "I know. And I wish I could see the outcome for Jacob. I've tried, but I just can't see the werewolves. But like I said before. I can see that you're safe…and you seem happy, so I can only assume that Jacob is okay."

"I know," I said quietly, suddenly wanting to take my mind off of the stress. "So, what are we doing tonight?" I asked, expecting an evening of pedicures and modeling Alice-approved clothing.

Alice didn't disappoint, and her face immediately lit up. "Oh, I'm going to do your hair and your nails, but I want you to have a shower first…it's easier to work with your hair that way. And I'm going to try this great new outfit on you… And I already know you'll like your dinner," she chattered away.

"Then what?"

"Oh, you'll see…" she sang happily as we came to the turnoff to their driveway. Alice's bouncing increased as we drew closer and closer to the house.

The Cullen home was completely dark in the shade of the trees that surrounded the structure. I knew that vampires didn't need lights, but it was still strange to see it looking so empty. I waited until we were in the foyer and heard no shouted welcomes to get suspicious.

"Alice, what's going on?"

"Oh, nothing…let's get you in the shower, shall we? I can't wait to try this new up-do I saw in a magazine yesterday!" She pushed me up the stairs while I grumbled the entire way.

**

Three long hours later, Alice was finished with her creation, and not a moment too soon. I was aching from sitting still so long. However, even I couldn't deny that she had done a good job, but it seemed like overkill for a simple slumber party. Most of my hair had been curled and twisted up where it was secured with a simple black clip. Shiny, twisted spirals cascaded down my back and framed my face. Alice had attacked my face with a makeup brush and now my cheekbones were stained with a permanent blush, my lengthened lashes fluttered around the subtle eye color and my lips shone with gloss.

I felt a bit silly in the dress, however. It was beautiful, but only appropriate for a nice dinner or a date. It was sleeveless and champagne-colored, with a layer of sheer black tulle and intricate lace patterns across the chest and the hem, which fell at my knee. I looked like I was ready to go to prom or something; and, remembering the trickery to get me to my last formal dance, I panicked for a moment as I tried to remember when Fork's prom was scheduled.

Alice perked at something and a moment later I heard the front door open softly and footsteps going toward the kitchen. Her smile widened as her nose twitched. She walked over to the home intercom music system speaker near the door to her room and pushed a button. The sounds of "Clair de Lune" filled the house. "You like this song, right?"

I nodded, the music stirring memories and alarm in me. _What was going on?_

Alice clicked her tongue at me as I the alarm made its way to my face. "No dancing, Bella…I'm not kidnapping you, I promise. But I do have a confession to make."

She took my hand and led me down the stairs, and as she did, she spoke in a low voice.

"The whole family is hunting tonight. I'm going to join them in a moment — we need to feed to make sure we're at our strongest for the confrontation tomorrow." I didn't know what to think, opening my mouth to say something, and then closing it as Alice continued. "I'm sorry I lied to you, Bella. But we wanted to surprise you."

"We?"

She just beamed as we turned the corner into the kitchen.

There stood Jacob bathed in candlelight, looking stunning in the suit that we had selected together several weeks earlier. He was organizing two plates of food and stopped to look up when Alice and I entered the room. We both gasped softly as we stared at one another. I felt rooted to the spot, and was aware of Alice squeezing me lightly and whispering, "We'll be back in the morning," before disappearing.

"Thanks, Alice," Jacob's voice was grateful, but his eyes never left me.

I found that I couldn't move — I was so overwhelmed. He understood, and swept around the kitchen island that stood between us and rushed to me, our mouths meeting a split second before our arms flew around one another. We squeezed each other tightly, and his hot lips felt like home against mine. Jacob moved his mouth tenderly, pressing lightly and running his tongue against my upper lip. I sighed and opened my lips eagerly, meeting his tongue with my own. He tasted like mint and the sweet Jacob flavor that I loved so much. We embraced like that for several more moments before he broke away and motioned to a bar stool for me at the island.

"I got some dinner from the Smoke House," he said, putting my plates in front of me. "I hope you like salmon…"

"You and…and _Alice_ planned all of this?" I was truly touched. He grinned and speared some of his salad. "It so…this is just so perfect!"

"Yeah," he mused, swallowing his food. "It was really hard staying away from you while you were sick, Bells. Last night during our meeting with the bloodsu-…er, the Cullens, she mentioned you'd be all better by tonight. I told her how much I wanted to see you and when she found out I didn't have to hang out with the pack, she started planning before I even asked her."

I smirked. "Alice is good at doing that." I took his hand across the granite countertop. "I missed you so much, Jake. I was so scared I wouldn't be able to see you before tomorrow."

He lifted my hand and kissed it tenderly. "I needed you just as much."

We gazed deeply at one another before I broke it off, reminding him that we had a delicious dinner that was starting to get cold. We resumed eating, but continued watching each other as we enjoyed the salmon, salad and bread.

I took a large mouthful of salad, accidentally smearing dressing on my upper lip. I grinned sheepishly and my tongue darted out to swipe it away. Across the counter, Jacob's jaw clenched and he shifted in his seat. A few moments later, Jacob began eating his roll, taking small nibbles; I watched, captivated by his full lips wrapping around the bread and how small the food looked in his large hands. _Mmm, those hands_…

He washed down his roll with a sip of lemonade, and the drink made his upper lip glisten. I licked my own lip unconsciously as he put the glass down and I turned back to my food. The salmon was delicious. I couldn't suppress a low moan as I took a bite. I saw the fork in Jacob's hand tremble slightly.

He cleared his throat. "Uh, I have some, umm…dessert too. Nothing much…just some fruit and chocolate…" I looked up at the word "chocolate" and grinned. He reached behind him and presented a plate with some juicy-looking pieces of mango and several large, red chocolate-covered strawberries. Jacob stood and walked around the island until he was standing between my legs. Even with the tall barstool, he still had to look down at me. He held up a strawberry in his fingers, a hopeful look on his face. "May I?"

He brought the fruit to my mouth and I closed my eyes. It was blissfully sweet, and a piece of chocolate crumbled in the corner of my mouth. Before I could swipe it away, I felt Jacob's warm lips on mine, his tongue sweeping the chocolate from me. It felt as though an electric shock had coursed through my skin where I could still feel his tender touch. I opened my eyes and he grinned down at me and picked up something else from the plate.

His fingers caressed my lips for a moment before he pushed a small piece of mango against my mouth. Jacob squeezed it harder than necessary, an impish look on his face as drops of sweet juice ran down my chin. I lunged at his fingers, nipping them as I took the fruit from them. He dove equally fast toward the sugary drops that threatened to run to my neck, lapping them with his tongue and lingering a bit too long. At that moment, any pretense of ignoring the electricity in the room went right out of the window.

"Jake…" I whispered as his hands wrapped around my waist and his tongue ran along my jaw line to tickle my earlobe. I stood and pressed against him, grasping his loose tie in my hand and pulling him even closer, and running the other up the side of his face to thread his hair between my fingers.

Jacob lifted me with fiery arms and I hooked my legs around his waist as he carried me into the living room. He set me on the couch and broke away to settle behind me, essentially pulling me on his lap. I leaned back against him, trembling slightly.

He trailed his fingers down my arms and wove them in between mine as he lavished my neck with kisses.

"Ooh," I sighed, lolling my head to one side, allowing him better access.

"I want to try something, Bella," he whispered as his lips skimmed the soft skin behind my ear.

"Mmm-hmm," I mumbled as his hands traveled up my body.

"Put your hands over mine," he breathed in my ear. "Show me how to touch you."

My heart fluttered in my chest and my breathing caught, but I placed my hands over his. "Are you sure, Jacob?" I asked as my hands trembled.

"Positive," he groaned.

I swallowed hard when we started to move our hands down past my collarbone. I helped him push my dress down slowly, raking his fingertips against my smooth skin lower and lower until they brushed past my nipples and I was completely exposed. I gasped softly as his warm hands covered my breasts.

Jacob hissed when my nipples hardened into warm little pebbles under his touch. I arched, pushing harder against his hands, and he moved his fingers back and forth, rubbing the sensitive tips and sending tingles radiating from his touch to the rapidly warming region between my legs. I heard him inhale deeply, the scent of my arousal most likely thick in the air.

"Mmm, Bella," he moaned, laving his tongue up the side of my neck, pulling my earlobe between his lips, suckling the sweet tender skin, nibbling with his teeth.

I let my thighs fall open and press against Jacob's legs as he continued to squeeze and roll my nipples between his fingers, tugging the little peaks, making me whimper.

"Do you want me to stop?" his voice was husky against my neck.

"No," I urged breathlessly, feeling his hardened length press against my lower back.

"Is there anywhere else you want me to touch you?"

"Ungh, yes…" I whispered, gripping his hand and leading it down my belly past my navel. I moved our joined hands down to my thighs and grasped the flimsy fabric of my dress, tugging it up with purpose. I pushed his hand between my legs, murmuring a very uncharacteristic "_fuck_" as I did. I knew he could feel my moist heat through the thin material of my panties.

"I want more, Bella," he growled lowly, pushing my underwear to the side and pausing for a moment to let me take the lead again. I moved our hands up and down my slick slit and whimpered at the sensation, a light sheen of perspiration beginning to cover my skin.

"More," he practically snarled. I opened my legs wider and our fingers parted my wet folds. My body was trembling and pressing back against his chest as I slid one of my fingers in my own body and manipulated his hands so he did the same. I was soaking, and our fingers slid easily. He began to take over, moving our fingers faster, pumping them in and out as I threw my head back onto his shoulder and cried out.

He pressed his palm against my swollen clit, rubbing it as he thrust our fingers inside my heat. I took my other hand and reached up and back to grab his hair, tugging firmly. Jacob took his other hand and returned to my breast, pinching and rolling the little pink peak while an inferno began erupting throughout my body.

"Jacob!" I cried, wriggling down against his erection and then pressing my hips up against our working hands as I reached toward release. "Ungh…oh _GOD_! Jacob, yes…_Jacob_!" Our fingers pumped furiously and I screamed as the fire in my center exploded into smoldering surges across every inch of my skin. I shuddered and panted my love for him as my muscles throbbed and clenched around our fingers.

He waited until my muscles had stopped pulsating before sliding our fingers from inside me. Jacob brought them up to his face, sniffing them with a glare of wolfish lust flashing in his eyes. He slid the fingers into his mouth, sucking every bit of my arousal from them. I watched him with hooded eyes, my breasts rising and falling as my breathing slowly regulated.

Looking at him right then, I made a decision. So much was uncertain about the future, but what was certain was the way I felt at that moment. I studied his beautiful face with resolve. Jacob paused and looked at me. "Bella?"

My face was suddenly burning with my blush, but I ignored it.

"Jacob," I breathed. "I…I want you…to…make love to me."

His eyes widened and he sat up a bit. "Say again?"

"Please, Jake," I whispered, reaching up to caress his cheek. "I want you."

Jacob stammered, looking uncertain and a bit…scared. "Are you sure you want this? You don't think it's too soon? You won't…" I silenced him with a finger on his soft lips,

"Do you want me?" I asked him simply.

He inhaled sharply, desire pooling in his dark eyes. "Yes."

"Do you love me?"

"I do love you, Bella."

I pushed away from him and stood, my heart pounding.

I reached behind me to lower the zipper on my dress and slide it down to the floor. My panties were next to join the pile. I stood before him completely naked.

"Come here," I whispered.

He stood in front of me, trembling in a way I had never seen before. It made me want to take care of him — to guide him through this experience. I suddenly felt very sure of myself.

I walked around Jacob, letting my hand linger on his hips and trail across his butt as I passed behind him. When I reached his chest again, I pulled his tie slowly, loosening it until I could pull it over his head. It was thrown off into the darkened living room.

Next came his jacket, which slid easily off his shoulders. That too was thrown behind me. I unbuttoned every single button on his shirt, untucking it as I did. His bare chest, which I had seen so many times in the past, looked more beautiful than I ever remembered. I reached for his pants, where his immense hardness was straining against the fabric. He put his hand over mine, stopping me, imploring me with a look that told me he wanted me to be absolutely sure that this is what I wanted.

"Do you want this?" I asked him breathily. He nodded and I kissed his chest.

I wanted to finish undressing him before he delayed me again, so I resumed unfastening his pants. My legs and hands were trembling, yet I felt confident in everything I was doing. In a moment, his pants and his underwear were on the floor, and I kicked them aside.

My eyes widened as I saw his erection. It stood up from his body proudly. "Whoa," I murmured. I bent down, gripping the base and touching my tongue to the tip. He hissed and removed the clip in my hair, allowing the curls to spill down my back. I looked up at him with desire in my eyes.

He seemed to find his confidence when our eyes met. Growling softly, he pulled me up to him and we pressed together, every inch of his skin meeting every inch of mine. I arched my back against him as he plunged his hand down between my legs to rub my center roughly, his breathing husky on my neck.

"I want you," he moaned. "Now."

Quickly, he spun me around and lowered me onto the couch. We gazed at one another, and I was distracted by something underneath me. Squirming and reaching, my hands came back holding a small box of condoms. _How did that_…?

"Alice," I said softly, making a mental note to thank her. She wouldn't have been able to see what would happen, but she knew anyway. He and I both smiled, and he bent down to me, nuzzling my neck with his nose and lips, the sense of urgency growing between us.

Jacob sought out my eyes and murmured, "God, Bella…I want you so much, baby…" He leaned forward and captured my lips with his, pausing only a second before thrusting his eager tongue in my mouth, trailing it along my lips and teeth, and tasting me with reckless abandon. The faint wolf growl — which I had come to love for its frequent appearance during our intimate moments — was a constant background noise now, the bass line in the music we were making with our gasps, cries and moans.

Jacob's hand gripped his hardness and he rubbed it against the smooth, wet skin between my legs, flicking it back and forth against the sensitive nub. I moaned low in my chest as my fingers fumbled with the foil package. We both watched my hands rub down his erection and caress his balls before slowly unrolling the thin latex along his length. He pressed his forehead against my shoulder as I finished covering him, breathing erratically and quivering from head to toe.

I pressed my breasts against Jacob's chest and held my breath as I felt him position his hardness at my entrance. He reached around my body and cupped my butt cheek, lifting my hips gently off the couch. He paused for the briefest of moments, and I exhaled, groaning — I wanted him so badly at that moment, I couldn't stand it.

"Mmm, please, Jacob," I bucked my hips up against his heat urgently, feeling his warm tip grazing my opening, "Love…I need you now! Oh, God…please," I begged, sounding desperate, writhing my hips.

Holding his breath, Jacob slid just the tip inside of me and pulled it out. I was surprised when it didn't hurt very much. I whimpered, pleading with breathy moans for him to continue. Again, he slipped just an inch into me before pulling out. My need to feel him fully inside me was almost agony. And then once more he teased my opening with himself, stopping for a second to watch for my reaction, an indescribable expression on his face. I needed more and grasped at him frantically. "God, Jacob, fuck me!" I cried.

"I love you, Bella," he rasped, and with a soft snarl, he thrust himself inside of me, burying himself to the hilt. My hips rose involuntarily to meet him, and we both cried out at the sensation of him possessing me for the first time.

I felt one sharp twinge of discomfort as he filled me completely, and I gasped. He stopped immediately and sought my eyes.

"Are you okay, honey?"

The pain had faded but an ache of needing him to continue remained. "Yes, Jake…please." He pulled out slowly and pushed in again. The pain was less that time, and was quickly being replaced with intense pleasure. He kept his gaze on my face as he slid in and out gently a few times — he had made me so slick, his erection glided easily.

I sighed, moaned, and lifted my hips toward him, encouraging him. His breath quickened and he grunted. I looked up at him hovering over me — what I saw was beautiful. My beautiful Jacob. His eyes were closed as he moved inside of me and his face turned toward the ceiling — he looked as though he was savoring something delicious.

The slow, sensual dance of our bodies began to take on a tentative rhythm; I could feel him sliding faster and a bit more earnestly. A low, guttural moan sounded from deep within my chest as I was filled with his heat and thickness. He hooked my leg over his arm and the new position allowed him to enter me more deeply still; we both groaned at the feeling of being so completely connected.

Suddenly, his nostrils flared and his eyes flew open and fixed on me. For a split second, I thought he had caught the scent of an unfamiliar vampire, but when I saw how his dark eyes devoured me, I knew that he was reacting in a primal way to his wolfish instincts. "Yes, baby…" I hissed at him, nodding once as he began to tremble.

He grabbed the curves above my hips with his hot hands and slammed himself into me roughly. It hurt in a good way, and I found myself clawing at him violently as he plunged into me over and over. The tempo began again, more urgently than ever. I couldn't help but meet his thrusts with my own; I couldn't have resisted even if I wanted to. My breasts bounced with each thrust, my nipples rubbing against his burning skin as the sounds of clapping skin and growls filled the room.

"Faster," I heard myself cry, as starbursts and tingles exploded under my skin, flames licking my most sensitive areas. He rumbled loudly as he picked up the pace, and I was riveted by the look of stern intensity on his face. I felt perspiration trickling down my temples and between my breasts from the temperature of his naked body — the heat of his skin was a reflection of the heat building inside me.

"Harder," I groaned, reveling in the familiar, increasing pressure in my center. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to make this feeling last as long as possible.

Jacob's breath was wild in my ear, coming in erratic pants as the growl in his throat grew louder and louder. "Fuck Bella, you feel so good…" he purred as his body crashed into mine. I knew that he was close and I greedily wriggled my hips against him to meet him at the precipice. His growls grew louder and more forceful as he pumped deeply into me.

"Oh yes…Jacob!" I whimpered, my voice getting louder as each thrust brought me closer to climax. "Ungh...I'm, oh…I'm going to come…"

"Look at me, Bella!" he snarled. My eyes flew open and met his. He plunged into me even harder, his upper lip lifting in a teeth-bearing grimace. "You're mine," he roared, accentuating his words with his frenzied thrusts. "Mine…mine…mine…"

His words sent me over the edge. I couldn't hold back my release any more and screamed out as it overtook my entire body. My muscles clenched him tightly as he drove his length in and out of me, and I was conquered by waves of pleasure that made me shiver — even against Jacob's heat.

"Jacob…I love you," I shrieked, my voice wild and trembling, feeling overwhelmed by the love and pleasure of the moment. "God, baby…I love you so much."

I couldn't stop the tears that sprang into my eyes as my entire body flushed with satisfaction, the muscles around Jacob pulsing as he snarled and thrust fiercely one last time, throwing his head back and howling as we came together.

He collapsed heavily on top of me, still rumbling softly in his chest. He had managed to rein in his animalistic aggression a bit, but as I tried to push him off so I could breathe, he growled louder and shuddered. He was still in wolf-mode, so I tried a different approach. I stroked his hair softly and whispered, "Jake? Jacob, hon…I'm here. You're crushing me." The last words sounded like a faint wheeze, but they were enough to calm the trembling and he pushed himself off of me, finally seeing me through eyes that I recognized as my Jacob's. They were immediately filled with wonder and love as he bent to kiss my nose and nuzzle my neck.

"Oh my God, Bella…I love you!" He kissed me sweetly, tenderly. "So much, honey. That was…"

"That was amazing," I finished for him, wrapping my arms around his neck and meeting his kisses with some of my own. "I never realized…that it…it could be like that." I was still catching my breath.

Above me, Jacob smoothed my damp hair away from my face as he continued to rub his warm lips across my cheeks and forehead. I sighed in contentment, savoring his touches.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, his love and concern evident in his voice. Our brown eyes met and I gazed at my beautiful wolf — my protector, my friend, my lover, my Jacob. At that moment, he was everything. I adored him — the man who filled my body and my heart.

"I don't think I've ever been more okay in my entire life," I said with a trembling voice. "I'm so…well, _happy_ doesn't even begin to say what I am right now. I can't find the words, but...let me show you what I mean…"

I pulled him down to me for another kiss, and spent the next five hours showing him, again and again.


	18. Chapter 18 The Conflict

_Author's note: This chapter was both exciting and painful to write. I never wanted to write the death of a character, but one thing that always bothered me about Stephenie Meyer's saga was that everything always worked out perfectly for the "good guys." It wasn't realistic (not that vampire/werewolf stories are...haha)._

_I hope you'll forgive me. Oh, and sorry in advance for the cliffie!_

_I also want to take the opportunity to thank my betas, mrsz and oceanwaters2006. They rock my socks and are awesome in every way._

_I do not own._

**

I woke up too early the next morning. Jacob was nuzzling me awake.

"Bella, baby? We have to get going."

I opened my eyes, confused for a moment before I remembered where I was. Jacob and I were sprawled across the Cullen's living room carpet, pillows and a blanket from the couch strewn around us. I was wrapped tightly around his torso and we were both naked. My face immediately got red when I remembered the previous evening, but I couldn't stop the grin from spreading on my face.

_Jacob and I made love_.

He kissed my temple. "I love seeing that smile, but the blush has got to go! Last night was perfect…there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Even if it does smell like sex in here."

"Oh God," I groaned, covering my eyes, my smile fading. The moment they stepped in their house, the Cullens would know what we had done. And then I remembered the pack. The second Jacob phased, they would know too. I turned to my smiling boyfriend. "How are we going to face everybody?"

He shrugged, nonchalant. "It's not a big deal in the pack," he said. "We try to ignore those private thoughts when we can, but I promise no one will give you a hard time about it. They'll be so happy for us, Bells. They've been dealing with my lovesick, horny virgin ass for months…those emotions and frustrations affect them too. They'll probably throw us a freakin' party!" He stroked my hair. "And as far as the Cullens go…well, they practically told us to go ahead. What, with leaving us alone for a whole night and conveniently dropping condoms on the couch…what did they think was going to happen?"

I heard what he was saying, but it didn't make it any easier. But I didn't want to ruin this moment. I pressed against him, running my tongue across his lips and nipping at them. "I love you, Jacob," I murmured. "Let's get this day over with so we can replay last night all over again."

"I'd like that," his voice was husky, and we had to stop ourselves before we let things get out of hand.

I stood and wrapped the blanket around myself. We cleaned the mess from the previous night's dinner, and I grabbed a cold roll and a few leftover strawberries to fill the gnawing void in my stomach. I didn't have much time. Jacob watched me devour the strawberries with an amused expression on his handsome face. I held one out to him but he just shook his head.

_Why isn't he hungry? He needs to eat_, I thought, my worry increasing. _He needs his energy for the fight. Will it weaken his reflexes if he's hungry? Why am I tormenting myself_? My hand, still holding the unaccepted fruit, dropped. _Stop overthinking this, Bella. He'll be fine — you're only going to make yourself crazy_!

We dressed in quick silence. My mind still shouted its nagging apprehension, but I didn't want to sidetrack Jacob with my fears. He had to mentally prepare for the most dangerous day of his life, and I feared I would only be a distraction.

It seemed as though neither of us wanted to voice the worries in our hearts about the day ahead — if Jacob was worried at all, he never showed it. The tension from our unspoken concerns was electric in the room.

Soon I was decent, although my hair was a curly mess. I pulled it back into a ponytail to minimize the chaos. My change of clothing for the day was still in the bed of my truck, to minimize scent contamination, so I just wore the same clothes from school the previous day. Jacob prepared to head into the woods to phase and I was nearly ready to leave for Emily's aunt's house to shower and change. I turned my back to him so he couldn't see my trembling lip. As I folded the blanket we had snuggled in, two tears fell before I could stop them. In a flash, Jacob had me in his arms, stroking my tangled hair. He was fighting a losing battle with his tears too.

"I'm so scared, Jake," I quaked. "I'm afraid something's going to happen to you. It's killing me."

"I'll be fine, but you know I feel the same way about you being there," he whispered, his eyes making my hair wet. "Don't do anything reckless, okay Bells?"

We stood there clutching one another until we had no choice but to let go. The schedule for the day was tight, and didn't allow for long, drawn-out goodbyes.

I met his eyes. "Let's make a promise. It's 6:05 in the morning right now. Let's promise that we'll give each other a kiss in exactly 24 hours…if we put it in our plans, then we have something to motivate us today."

"You're all the motivation I need," Jacob said, catching my chin in his hand and tilting my head up so we could see one another. "But I will never pass up an opportunity for a kiss. I'll put it on my schedule. I promise."

"Good, it's a date. Don't keep me waiting," I said, pouring my love and concern in my last kiss to him.

As soon as my lips left his, we both whispered to each other, "Be careful. I love you."

**

I cried the entire way to Emily's aunt's house, pulling over once when my tears momentarily blinded me. I was frightened for everyone I loved who was in danger today. And I was terrified for _Jacob_. It seemed silly that only a few days ago I had worried about the whole imprinting thing, and now our lives were in danger. I knew he was capable of taking care of himself, but I couldn't imagine him facing off against nearly a dozen vampires.

Emily was waiting to take me into her arms when I arrived, and I was looking forward to the comfort she always provided. However, I quickly realized that she herself was in desperate need of soothing.

"Bella!" she sobbed, wrapping herself around me in an impossibly tight embrace. "I can't lose him…I don't think I have the strength without him. I've never been so scared…" Even though the same thoughts echoed in my head, I didn't repeat them — Emily had said it all. I simply held her tightly, murmuring words of understanding through my tears.

We wept softly and clung to one another for a moment before time demanded that we get going. I didn't have long before we needed to enter the woods. Emily's aunt's home was empty right now — she was off teaching a semester at a college in Oregon as a visiting professor. It was also a werewolf-free zone. That was the main reason we chose this home for our meet-up.

I showered quickly, making sure to use generous amounts of my strawberry shampoo and my body wash. I scrubbed every inch of my skin, knowing that Jacob's scent covered me from head to toe. I almost regretted washing him away from my skin. I rushed to dry off and get dressed, leaving my hair damp. Emily and I piled into my truck and drove to the head of the trail.

"Beautiful morning for a hike," Emily's scratchy, sob-weakened voice couldn't hide her nerves as we got out and prepared to enter the woods.

I stopped her. "Hold on a second." My head swimming, I reached into my bag and pulled out the knife I had brought with me, feeling slightly sick at the thought of what I was about to do. Emily's eyes widened.

"What are you doing, Bella?"

I didn't meet her eyes. "Jasper said I should do this. It will distract the vampires and give the wolves even more of an advantage."

"But, Bella…"

"Don't you want me to help Sam and Jacob in any way I can?" I said, a bit irritably. I was not looking forward to this. I pressed the tip of the knife on the criss-cross of blue veins at my wrist, but it took me several seconds of deep breaths to finally slice it into my skin a bit.

My blood spilled out — not rapidly, but enough to leave droplets on the ground. I grabbed one of Charlie's handkerchiefs I had packed and wrapped it loosely around my wrist. Then I turned to Emily.

"You're going to have to make sure I don't faint," I told her, and she nodded, her eyes large and scared. She grabbed my hand and we began walking.

Alice gave perfect directions through the woods, sending us on different paths when they crossed the trail in front of us. Every thirty feet or so, I shifted the handkerchief from my wrist and squeezed my arm, sending a scattering of blood droplets to the forest floor. I felt nauseated as we walked, and my head flushed and pounded, but Emily's firm grasp on my hand was my lifeline.

We walked like that for three hours. At some point, the wound on my wrist congealed and clotted, and I stopped Emily while I made a similar slice on the opposite arm. This one was slightly deeper, and I didn't have to try as hard to force it to flow onto the dirt floor below us.

Emily tried to make small talk. I learned that, after Alice's phone call the previous day, the pack and the Cullens had reorganized slightly, choosing to keep Collin and Brady near the resort and R.V. park in case a newborn vampire came too close to any tourists who remained behind. I worried that it would cut into the pack's advantage, but Emily reassured me it wouldn't.

"Sam is confident in the fighters, and the Cullen girl says she doesn't anticipate that they'll be outnumbered."

Soon, we saw a break in the tree cover ahead. Stumbling off the path through the brush, Emily and I came out in the Clearwater's expansive back yard — just as we planned. Emily glanced at her watch. It was slightly past noon. Alice had estimated that the battle would begin around one. I shuddered as I looked at the woods where we had just exited. The vampires were already on the move, on their way here.

"Go, Emily," I whispered. "Get out of here…" My voice was shaking violently. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked at me in terror, then she turned and ran to the car waiting in the Clearwater driveway. I walked to a picnic table near the house and sat. It was eerily quiet — no cars, no voices…just silence. Even the birds were keeping their cacophony to a minimum. The breeze blew in from the direction of the forest, just as Alice had predicted, and wisped my hair around my face softly.

Everyone should be in place. The wolves were within earshot of me, but their scent would blow away from the direction where Victoria and her friends would approach. They were the first wave of my defense. The Cullens waited a half mile behind them, to head off the second group who sought to surround the area where I was.

I lost track of time, and got up to start pacing across the large yard. I paused on a small, bare patch in the grass, feeling incredibly tired and feeble as I waited. At one point, I looked down at the second cut on my arm, and noticed with shock that there was a small pool of red on the ground. I swallowed back the nausea and knotted the soaked handkerchief tighter around my wrist, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. Now was the wrong time to have a stupid reaction to seeing my own blood. But I couldn't ignore the crimson smears and drops decorating my skin and clothing. I just wanted to lie down and breathe deeply to get rid of the tingling feeling I was feeling in my fingers and lips. I closed my eyes.

A light, tinkling laugh sounded in front of me. My eyes flew open and I was momentarily blinded by the sun and several shimmering forms casting light back at me. I blinked again, checking to see whether my mind was playing tricks on me in my weakened state. She laughed again as she regarded my face. _Victoria_.

She stood at the edge of the yard, framed by the forest she had just exited — her eyes wide and ecstatic, her fiery hair wild, a mirthful smirk on her flawless, sparkling face. On either side of her were six figures, with pale, twinkling skin and brilliant crimson eyes. They quivered as they looked at my dripping arm — only Victoria's outstretched arms and the low snarl emanating from her chest kept them from leaping at me. She controlled them.

"After all this time," she said in a surprisingly girly voice, "it's so easy." She took one step toward me. "You don't know how much I've done to prepare for this, Bella." Her lips curled into a sneer when she said my name. Behind her, the newborns edged forward too. "Stop," she shrieked wildly, turning her head slightly to the side to address them. "She's mine. After I finish her, you can have your fill from the townspeople of Forks. Just don't forget to leave the police chief to me…"

Through my weakened condition, I heard her words and was possessed with a surge of rage. I lashed out. "You stay away from him, you bitch!" I clenched my fists and glared at her in fury.

She answered with a delighted giggle, taking another step forward.

"Go ahead, fight," she said, "Physical exertion only makes the blood pump faster." She lowered herself gracefully into a crouch. My eyes widened and I took an instinctive step back. "But it won't be quick, Bella…oh, no. I plan…"

She stopped her words with a confused look crossing her face. The newborns behind her didn't notice her change and were continuing to eye me with bloodlust.

Victoria's nose wrinkled. "It's that smell again," she muttered to the vampires behind her. For a moment, she looked unsure — but by then it was too late.

Dark figures leapt from around the house and out of the side woods, two wolves making sure to position themselves between the tree line and the group of vampires. A massive, russet wolf positioned himself in front of me, vibrating the very ground with his growls.

She snarled in surprise and rage, whirling around faster than my eyes could follow. She realized they were surrounded and outnumbered, eight to seven. My heart seemed to stop as I watched the tense standoff with wide eyes, holding my breath.

"What is this?" she seethed. The wolves answered with deafening roars. The group of vampires quickly recovered and sank into a terrifying defensive stance.

Time stood still for a long second. I heard my ragged breathing in my ears and the far-away scream of a gull as the opponents paused in the moment before battle. Before I could blink, the vampires and werewolves leapt at each other, fangs bared and eyes black with hatred.

It was more horrific than I ever could have imagined. _The sounds…my God_. I clapped my hands over my ears in a vain attempt to block the dreadful snarls, growls and screams. A sound similar to metal scraping together filled the air as I saw a chocolate brown wolf tear a chunk from the torso of a screaming male vampire, who couldn't have been older than 15 when he was turned.

I couldn't look away. My view was sometimes blocked by Jacob, who was circling me rapidly, leaping forward to assist in a fight when he needed to. Every member of the pack was paired off with a vampire, and their blurring figures were an intricate dance of death. I couldn't tell who had the upper hand in any of the skirmishes, hearing occasional yelps mixed in with the horrible metallic sound.

The large, black wolf I knew to be Sam knocked over a red-haired male but before he could leap on the fallen form, the vampire was at his side, punching him in the ribs with a granite strike. Turning his snout, he snapped at the arm and managed to rip a piece of the upper arm away.

To Sam's left, the small grey wolf — Seth — was dodging and weaving his female opponent on nimble paws.

Paul's silver form was less graceful than Seth. He attacked with brute strength and anger, succeeding in weakening his rival, but also sustaining several injuries.

Next to him, Leah battled her adversary, barking out sharply when the red-eyed boy successful latched onto her leg and snapped it in his white hands. A horrific yelp escaped her muzzle and she scrambled up, balancing on three legs. Sam, distracted by her cry, came running. He tackled the boy from the side, securing the vampire's head in his massive jaws. With a screech and a twist, the boy's body fell. Sam turned back to the red-haired male, Leah at his side to assist as best she could on three paws.

The fight went on and on. The sides were very evenly matched and I began panicking at the thought. The pack had always been so confident — I expected them to have the upper hand by now.

To the left of me, a loud crack sounded, followed by a tree falling into the yard from the tree line. Emmett came gliding out of the forest, spinning around to meet a red-eyed newborn that was hot on his heels. Behind them, more figures made their way into the yard. Esme was dancing around her foe, dodging rather than attacking. Jasper's furious snarl could be heard over all other sounds. I tried to count the newborns, but had trouble because they were moving so swiftly. There were at least a dozen, including Victoria.

Remembering her, I snapped my head back to where she was fighting. She seemed to be completely intact, obviously a good fighter. As I watched, she snapped at the wolf facing her, her sharp teeth clicking just inches from its throat. I gasped at the close call, and wondered who the wolf was. It was grey and black, with a small patch of silver on its chest. I remembered. It was Embry.

He was already favoring one of his front paws, but was still leaping aside with every lunge. If not for their growling, it would have looked like they were playing a strange game. Then, without warning, her teeth found flesh.

I screamed at the same time Embry gave a sickening yelp and fell. She leapt upon him, tearing the fur and skin at his neck. The wolf's cries faded to a gurgle. I turned and retched into the grass as Jacob roared, soaring forward to meet his friend's attacker. I wanted to run to Embry, but he was separated from me by several dueling pairs. I turned this way and that, blurs and snarls surrounding me on every side. At that moment, I felt as though I were in the very center of Hell. I sank down to the ground, drawing my knees to my chest and making myself as small as possible, wanting to shut out every sound, sight and smell.

Jacob and Victoria began a slow, deliberate path toward one another, circling closer and closer, as if gravity were forcing them together. I didn't want to watch, but I found myself unable to stop myself. In my peripheral vision, I saw Jasper tearing his opponent to pieces, flinging the largest chunks several dozen feet away and turning to assist Alice. To my immediate right, Sam and Leah managed to lock their jaws on the neck and torso of another male vampire. Twisting his muzzle back and forth while Leah held the vampire down, Sam separated the head from the body. They both then fell upon him, ripping limbs from the torso. It was always accompanied by the horrific screeching metallic sound.

I heard a familiar female's voice scream and gasped when I recognized it. _Esme_! Standing suddenly and whipping my head around, I found her at the corner of the yard, clutching her beautiful face in her hands. My heart dropped. _Was she crying? Had something happened to one of the Cullens_? She pulled her hands away and I saw it — a massive chunk was missing from her cheek, marring her perfect appearance. Her opponent paused to crouch for her final spring at Esme and I closed my eyes, not able to bear the sight.

"Carlisle!" Esme's surprised, anguished voice cried. I opened my eyes to see Carlisle locked in combat with Esme's attacker, a feral, animalistic expression on his handsome face. He made short work of his opponent, bringing her down with a fury I never thought possible for him.

Just in front of me, Jacob yelped. I fixed my eyes on him, a panicked, garbled shriek spewing from my throat at the sound. Jacob was shaking his wolf head, momentarily stunned. I noticed that Victoria was now missing part of her thigh and a large piece of her hip, but it didn't slow her down. She landed a bone-crunching blow on one of Jacob's legs, and I saw stars as the last bit of air escaped my lungs in a scream. I couldn't breathe as Jacob faced her again, limping temporarily as his leg bones began healing themselves immediately. He still didn't miss a beat, catching her hand in his teeth and tearing off two fingers.

All around me, the fight continued. Growls and snarls continued to fill the air, and I made a quick inventory of the fighters on our side. Carlisle and Esme crouched at the corner of the yard, Esme crumpled on the ground and Carlisle standing guard over her, leaping forward to aide his children every so often, when a fight came close. Jasper and Alice had finished off her attacker and were now assisting Rosalie and Emmett, who was having a surprisingly tough time with his opponent. Stars dotted my vision as I counted the wolves. Seven. All still fought, with the exception of Embry, who had dragged himself several feet from where Victoria had bested him and now lay still, phased back into his human form.

Tears stung my eyes as I looked at him, my chest finally drawing in a ragged sob. Had it only been a few weeks ago that he stood under my window and gave me advice about Jacob? I thought of his smiling face, and how he always treated me like a little sister, even though I was older than him.

Without warning, something that felt like rock struck my head and I screamed out in pain, blood pouring over my right eye. I looked down at the ground and gagged. It was a granite-hard lump of pale flesh — vampire flesh. As I stared at it, my own blood dripped onto it and I wavered where I stood, dropping to the ground in a daze. I had lost too much blood and couldn't keep my legs underneath me any longer. The scene in front of me wavered and seemed to be interspersed with large black spots. In a flash, Jacob detangled himself from his fight and was against me, nudging me urgently with his nose.

I knew I was dangerously close to losing consciousness, but I fought to shove Jacob away — urging him to return to the fight. Before he could turn to meet Victoria once again, she was already on him. I heard a sickening crunch, followed by an excruciating bark. Opening my eyes from my spot on the ground, I saw Jacob on the ground, panting heavily and immobilized. Victoria's small figure loomed over his bulking frame. An ecstatic grin stretched across her face, Embry's blood still covering her teeth.

Victoria had gotten her arms around him and crushed him. His right forepaw was bent an an unnatural angle and his torso twisted in a horrible, painful-looking way. With horror, I realized that Jacob could not move until he began to heal, which would take several minutes at least. He was completely vulnerable. Across the yard, Carlisle realized it too, shouting, "No!" He turned to help, but was cut off by a newborn.

Victoria's laugh filled my ears, sounding louder than any growling. I sat up weakly, and met her eyes. They were exhilarated and excited, and when she saw me looking at her, she laughed again.

I screamed "God, no! Jacob…please, NO!" with every ounce of strength I had in me.

She looked down at my Jacob, who was growling weakly at her feet, his brown eyes fixed on me, and slowly bent to his throat, her teeth bared. I tried to shake the black spots out of my vision, but the stress of seeing Jacob about to be killed had me teetering dangerously close to collapsing.

A flash of white passed me faster than a breeze and struck Victoria full in the chest, sending her flying back several dozen feet. _Carlisle must have gotten past the newborn holding him up_, I thought weakly. I struggled to remain conscious, but it was a losing battle. I looked up at my Jacob, and saw a figure standing over him protectively, in a defensive stance just waiting for Victoria to attack.

A lanky figure with beautiful pale skin and messy bronze hair.

Edward.

That was when I fainted...

**

_Chapter End Notes:_

_A moment of silence for brave Embry. I cried while writing it. And poor Esme..._

_For all of you waiting for Edward's return...he certainly came back in a huge way, right?_

_Please let me know what you thought. Your reviews are amazing and I appreciate each and every one._

_Come find me on Twitter: EllaB_twilight_


	19. Chapter 19 Aftermath

I don't know how long I was out, but I awoke to the heartbreaking sound of wolves howling. My eyes fluttered open and were assaulted by the sunshine above me. A sickeningly sweet smell filled my nostrils and a blurry figure hovered over me, saying something that I could barely hear over the mournful calls of the pack. Slowly, my eyes and ears adjusted.

"Bella, love? Are you hurt?" Edward's voice was panicked. "Say something to me!"

"Jacob," I croaked, rolling to my side to try and see where he lay. My wolf was mere feet from me, his eyes open and gazing right at me. He had phased back into his human form, yet still allowed a canine-like whine to escape between his clenched teeth. Carlisle stood over him, stretching his broken body many different ways in an attempt to help him heal correctly. "Oh, Jake…" I whispered, staring at him.

Edward cradled my cheek in his cold hands and turned my head until I was facing him. I resisted slightly, not wanting to break my gaze with Jacob, but finally met his eyes. What I saw there surprised me. They were pitch black, the bruise-like circles incredibly dark underneath them. He looked hungry, gaunt and tired. He also looked confused, but as his gaze enveloped me, I felt myself being dazzled despite my better judgment. My heart pounded faster, betraying itself. He leaned into me, brushing his lips against my cheek, murmuring, "It's all over, love. She's dead…Victoria will never come after you again. My Bella, oh…my Bella. I'm so sorry. I'm so…"

"Stop," I said weakly, fighting the effect he had on me. If he heard me, he ignored it. "Stop!" I said louder and more firmly, and he finally sat up, looking at me in bewilderment. I pushed with my forearms, attempting to sit up, trying to shrug him off.

Alice came up behind Edward, grasping his shoulders reassuringly. "Edward, leave her alone." His grip tightened momentarily as he shot an annoyed, puzzled glimpse at his sister, who stood firm. Her sympathetic gaze never wavered, and I wondered what he was seeing in her mind.

Edward released me and I crawled over to Jacob, who tried to reach for me and grimaced when he couldn't. He looked too pale, and dirt and sweat covered his face. I stroked his face gently as a tear escaped his eye. He looked completely helpless. "Shh, I'm here, Jake. It's done, it's all over." I looked up to Carlisle. "Will he be okay? What's wrong with him?"

"Victoria smashed the entire right side of his body, and also his spine," Carlisle started, and I gasped and turned to my whimpering wolf-man, smoothing some errant strands of his dark hair away from his eyes. Tears burned in my dry eyes, but Carlisle continued. "Bella, he's going to be just fine. You know that he heals quickly, and can heal from wounds that would be fatal for other creatures…and this will be no different — his bones might even finish mending in a few hours. We just have to make sure he heals correctly. I've had to re-break many of his bones to set them straight. Thank goodness his spinal injury didn't allow him to feel the re-breaks on his legs…"

I wavered in place, whether from blood loss or being overwhelmed, I didn't know.

"Be careful, Bella," Carlisle said to me softly. "You've lost a lot of blood. I'm going to tend to you next, and I sent Rosalie into the house to get some of Leah's clothing for you. You're absolutely covered — do you realize that? I'm afraid that with the fight no longer able to distract them, my family might react…differently." Jacob snarled weakly at his words and I heard another protective snarl directly behind me. I glanced around and found Edward assuming a defensive stance at my back.

From across the yard, Jasper's cool voice called, "I'm in control…don't worry about me."

I smiled weakly at him and took a moment to look around the yard. Here and there, small piles of white stone were smoldering, sending acrid plumes of smoke into the air. Jasper sat holding a quietly weeping Esme, whose face was horribly scarred. Rosalie placed a small bundle of clothing near Carlisle and immediately walked to Emmett — the two of them embraced and lost themselves in each other, kissing and murmuring their affections, seemingly oblivious to everything around them.

The wolves sat in a semi-circle around the fallen figure of Embry. Again and again they howled their despair, the different cadences from each pack member blending to make a haunting, sorrowful melody, and a sob escaped my throat.

"Oh God, Carlisle…he's not…" I couldn't say it, but the doctor's expressive eyes told me what I needed to know. Embry was dead. In front of me, Jacob shook with silent weeping for his friend. The tears finally overflowed my eyelids and I moaned and fell forward, pressing my forehead to Jacob's as grief took over.

We cried together for a long time, as his body wracked with repairing bone and muscle itself and the fires burnt around us. I wept for Embry, Esme, and the relief at knowing that Jacob would be okay. It was an intimate moment that I needed, and soon I had cried myself out.

Finally, I looked up and noticed that Edward had relaxed his protective guard over me. He sat a dozen yards from us, his face buried in his hands, Alice rubbing his shoulders in a consoling way. I stood, shakily, and in a flash Emmett was at my side, offering his arm for me to hold, his eyes still perfectly golden. I smiled at him gratefully, and made my way over to the porch on shaking legs. Emmett remained at my hip and I gave him a gentle push.

"I'll be fine, Emmett…thanks," I said softly. "I need to get changed…and I'm not going to do it with you watching." Across the yard, two snarls rose once again. Emmett shook his head with a small smile and loped gracefully back to Rosalie. I glanced around from my corner of the porch and realized no one was watching me. They were preoccupied with the aftermath of the battle.

I changed quickly, grimacing at the scabbed-over wounds on my wrists, and then made my way over to Edward with a wavering gait. I was still feeling the effects of my blood loss. I wasn't sure what I was going to say to him.

Turns out I didn't need to talk. He did it for me.

"Bella," he reached out and took my hand, relief in his voice. "Oh, Bella…I'll never forgive myself for leaving you. I had no idea you were in such danger."

I studied his face. He was breathtakingly beautiful, of course, but I now saw him in a different light. I had learned that he wasn't perfect — he had made mistakes with me, and it made him seem more…human. Resistible. I smiled a bit, knowing that he didn't have the same pull over me anymore and feeling slightly empowered by that thought.

I stepped forward and hugged him. He froze for a moment, allowing himself to get used to my scent, and then his arms slid around my waist and he squeezed back. "My Bella…I was a fool," he whispered, "You have to know that I lo—…"

I cut him off. "Thank you for saving Jacob," I said, not caring that my lower lip trembled with emotion. "I can't thank you enough for that. I…I know it must have been difficult to come back."

He pulled away enough to look into my face, trying to read there what he couldn't in my mind. As his beautiful eyes met mine, they seemed to sear into my soul. I felt myself weakening, being overwhelmed — Edward was here, he was right here in front of me gazing at me with love. I leaned toward him unconsciously. It was everything I had hoped for back before Jacob and I…

_Jacob and I are together_. The mere thought of that broke the spell, and I smiled sadly at Edward as I leaned away. I felt a flare of annoyance that he could still affect me, and I found myself trying to fight back the unanswered hurt that threatened to shatter my composure.

"Bella," he said again, as if the mere sound of my name from his lips brought him relief. "If I had any idea that Victoria…" he began before I cut him off again, the beginning of his explanation breaking the dam.

"What? You wouldn't have left? Would your possessive tendencies have allowed you to stick around to protect someone you didn't want anymore? Someone who wasn't good for you?" I was surprised at how quickly and intensely the anger had arisen, but it felt cathartic to say exactly what I was thinking. Edward couldn't read my mind after all; I wanted him to truly understand my pain.

He cringed slightly as I used his own words against him, but quickly recovered and took my hands again. "Bella, you have to understand. After the intensity of what we felt, do you honestly believe that it could all just go away for me?"

I squeezed my eyes shut. Several months ago, I would have given anything to hear him say these things to me, but now, I had to stop him before he revealed his heart. It just wasn't that way anymore. I couldn't hurt him like that.

"Please listen to me. I had to believe it, Edward," I said softly. "It's what you told me…and…it's what helped me to finally move on. If I believed you truly still loved me, I would have withered away for the rest of my life…pining for someone who was never coming back."

Edward's eyes had darkened and then closed when I uttered "move on." Opening them again, I saw the pain and uncertainty in them and I had to look away.

"I'd give anything to have your family remain in Forks," I told him. "And that includes you. But Edward…I'm with Jacob now." A low growl began in his chest. I took my hand out of his tight grasp and put it where the rumbling centered and it calmed him a bit. I continued. "I'm happy with Jake." My voice was earnest and I glanced at my recovering boyfriend who was also rumbling lowly, watching my exchange with Edward closely. Our eyes met and we couldn't stop the smile that formed on either of our faces. Jacob looked proud of me, and frankly, I was proud of myself for standing my ground and being up front with the situation.

Next to me, Edward stiffened. "Oh, I see," he said, his voice formal. "Well, I'm very glad you're happy, Bella. It's what I always hoped for you. I'm glad you've formed an attachment to him — I always thought you'd like having a pet dog. You never were much of a cat person." Jacob's growls escalated immediately. My brows furrowed in irritation and I wanted to say something but he kept going.

His silky voice dropped to a whisper so quiet, I had to lean into him to hear it. "I've never stopped thinking of you. I want you to know that. I realize I made a horrible mistake in leaving…in hurting you like I did, but I'm promising to make it up to you if I can. If you'll let me…" He hesitated slightly, and then blurted, "I love you, Bella." He took my hand again as Jacob began growling. "Please choose me."

His eyes bore into mine and I felt the retort on my tongue fall away. My brain was fuzzy. Nothing existed but his face, his gorgeous, alluring face, and a steady roll of thunder that grew louder and louder. The thunder distracted me, and I realized it was Jacob's furious growling. It brought me back to reality.

"Edward! You can't dazzle me to get what you want," I was as furious as Jacob and took a step back from him. He looked horrified with himself and looked around to see his family standing, shaking their heads or looking at him in disbelief.

Carlisle appeared behind his son, putting one hand on his shoulder. "Edward, remember yourself. Please son…we can discuss this later. Right now, we have work still to do." Carlisle looked at me over Edward's stricken figure and I nodded, letting him know I was fine. "Bella, hold still for a moment," he told me, and he quickly ran his cool fingers across my scalp and examined the lump on my head. He checked my wrists and murmured, "We'll need to clean and wrap these properly, but I don't think you'll need stitches." Finally, he took my pulse and nodded with a small smile. "I think you'll live."

"Thanks, Carlisle," I said gratefully. "Can I ask you for a favor?" He shook his head in the affirmative. "I'll go with you to take care of my wounds, but I need a few minutes first," I pleaded. "I do need to come back to your home with you…to continue this discussion." My eyes flickered to Edward. "But I just need to see Jacob back to his house first — make sure he's comfortable."

"Of course, Bella," Carlisle said understandingly.

Weak snarling broke out behind me and I turned to Jacob, who was obviously upset by my plans. I hurried to his side as quickly as my feeble legs would take me and nuzzled myself into his shoulder, putting my lips up to his ear. "It's okay, Jake — everything will be okay. You know you can trust me. I just…I have to do this." I pulled back and looked into his hurting brown eyes. "I have to get some closure." Jacob reluctantly closed his eyes and lowered his head in an infinitesimal nod.

"Let's get going," Sam's authoritative voice sounded. He turned to address Carlisle. "When Bella returns, we expect you to leave the reservation and to resume the usual limitations of the treaty. Thank you for helping us today, but I still have to insist that you remain outside of the boundary lines from now on." Carlisle and Jasper both shook their heads in stiff agreement. The pack and I set off, while the Cullens continued gathering granite lumps of vampire flesh and tossing it onto the fires.

**

What a sad procession we made through the empty reservation. Sam led the way, cradling Embry's broken body in his arms. The rest of the pack followed, some in their human forms, some still as wolves. Quil carried a still-healing Jacob, whose eyes never left me. I traveled on the back of Seth, who was trembling with emotion and fighting back tears the entire way. I felt their loss almost as acutely as they did, but my mind couldn't help but be consumed by the return of Edward.

I wanted to hate him for all of the pain he put me through. It would be so much easier if I could just allow the anger to take over. But Edward had arrived at a crucial moment, and had saved Jacob's life. For that, I could never hate him. And, as much as I didn't want to admit it to myself, hearing his words, "_I love you, Bella_," had affected me. I still had so much love in my heart for him, even if that love had changed. He didn't deserve an explanation, but I still wanted to give him one.

I sighed sadly. Poor Jacob. Not only did he have to suffer through the pain of Victoria's attack,the rapid healing that was currently wracking his body, and the loss of his best friend, but he was probably going through a million different emotions after being saved by his girlfriend's former love.

We arrived at the Black's house. Seth lowered me gingerly and asked me if I was okay. I knew there would be no more fainting for me. He promised to wait for me in the yard until I had Jacob settled. I followed Quil into the house, where he gently placed Jacob on his bed, leaned against the wall and looked at me.

"Please come back for him, Bella," he pleaded quietly, his face so sad. I knew his words were two-fold. He wanted me to return to watch over Jacob while he finished healing, and he also was asking me not to abandon him for Edward.

"I will, Quil. I just…have something I have to do first." I met Jacob's eyes and turned to cover his shaking body with the sheet that was gathered at the foot of the unmade bed. I pressed my lips to his forehead. "I'll be back in a few hours, I promise."

His voice was firm, even as his healing body quaked. "I know. Be careful, Bells…and hurry back to me."

"You'll be okay by yourself?"

"Of course," he said, a forced smirk on his face. "Doesn't even hurt."

I turned to Quil. "You'll stay here until I get back?"

"Yeah."

Quil turned to look out of Jacob's bedroom window, pain etched over his features. Just outside, moving away from us was the rest of the pack. Silently, the procession continued along the road — a strange, sad funeral march for Embry Call.

**

Seth had me back in his yard in mere minutes. The piggyback ride was not nearly as smooth as on the back of Alice — or Edward — but I was grateful for the lift. The Cullen family members had finished their gruesome work and were waiting for me. Edward stood in the middle of his family, embracing Esme, whose face looked much better but was still visibly marred, and speaking with Jasper quietly. When he saw me, he shifted as if to walk to my side, but Alice beat him there. He remained back.

"Hey Alice," I said softly. "You okay?"

Her smile was warm. "Yes…you?"

"I don't quite know yet," I admitted. "What happened with Esme? Will she recover?"

Alice's eyes faltered. "That newborn tore half of her cheek away. Carlisle was able to find it — he's so attuned to her scent that he went straight to it before it was burnt with the other…pieces." I shuddered. "Our bodies heal very easily, as long as none of the flesh is lost. She'll always have a dramatic scar from the venom, but her face is whole."

"Is she okay?"

"She's in shock a bit…Carlisle will take good care of her, though."

"I think we're all in shock, Alice." At my words, Seth put his warm arm around my shoulders and gave me a friendly squeeze, for which I was grateful. Behind us, Carlisle called for the family to get moving.

"Can I take you?" her soft voice asked.

"I think that would be a good idea," I said with a weak smile. My stomach churned at the conversation ahead, but I was still determined. "I can't stay very long. Jacob will probably be healing until later tonight, and I want to be there for him. Can you drop me off at the edge of the res when I'm…done? It's only a few minute's walk to my truck at the trail's head."

"You know I will," she smiled at me and I climbed on her tiny back.

"I could meet you," Seth said, "Save you the walk. You're probably pretty tired." He seemed at ease with the Cullens, and even gave Alice a small grin.

"Sure, sure," I said gratefully. "I'll be there in about an hour and a half, okay?"

In the corner of my eye, I saw Edward start toward us, but Carlisle held him back.

"No, not now," he whispered. "We can't linger on the reservation any longer, Edward. Please go back to the house — you can talk when we get there."

"But…" Edward started. He looked around and noticed every golden eye upon him. With a defeated sigh and a stricken look at me, Edward took off into the woods like a blur.

"I'm sorry it's like this, Bella," was all Carlisle could manage as he gathered Esme against his chest and ran after Edward, back toward the house. Alice took off with me, and the rest of the Cullens followed without a word.

**

When we reached the tree line at the house, Alice lowered me and immediately took off, clutching Jasper's outstretched hand. Rosalie and Emmett followed them gracefully. Carlisle set Esme down near Edward's protective form, and rushed into the house, reappearing before me with dressings for my arms. With vampire speed, my wounds were cleaned and wrapped. The whole process took mere seconds, and before I knew it Carlisle had scooped Esme up again, stopping to have a rapid, quiet conversation with Edward before following his children into the woods.

They were giving us privacy.

Edward stared at me across the green grass. In the late afternoon sunlight, his skin was brilliantly glowing. My stomach clenched with nerves at the realization that I was alone with Edward. He started toward me, his steps straight and sure — only his eyes betrayed him. They were insecure and a bit fearful. I never broke his gaze until he was standing right in front of me — at that point everything was so intense and I had to look down at my shoes. I felt his cold fingers on the side of my face and he pushed my head up until our eyes met again.

"Don't look away, Bella," he said softly. "I've dreamed of your face every moment since I last saw you, and I hope you'll allow me to be greedy."

I sighed at his gentle touch, which was so familiar. My heart, however, ached in a way that was entirely unfamiliar, because part of me considered pushing his hand away. That feeling was new.

"So what have you been doing since that day?" I asked him with a trembling voice, closing my eyes and leaning against the cool of his hand on my cheek, deciding to allow it.

"At first, I went to Alaska with my family," he said quietly, "Laurent was there. Apparently, he formed quite a bond with Irina and was trying to live our vegetarian lifestyle. It was interesting to have him there with all of us. We were friendly to one another, but it was hard for me to trust him. One day he let his thoughts slip to Victoria and the revenge she would most likely try to achieve against us…against you. Laurent was unsure which side he would choose. Once I knew you were still in danger, I began tracking her."

"Laurent chose his side," I said. "He came across me in the woods one afternoon and would have killed me if the werewolves hadn't shown up." Edward's eyes widened at the news and a soft snarl escaped his lips. I silenced him with a shake of my head. "It's over now. He's dead."

Edward let his hand fall and he sank down on the soft grass, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "I suppose I should be grateful, then…for all of the protection that the wolves provided since my poor decision left me unable to do so myself. But I can't help being…worried…at the danger you're in with them."

I stifled my smile at his ironic words and settled next to him, waiting for him to continue.

"But, back to Victoria. I followed her for months. I've been to Texas, Mexico, Brazil…once I was even in Portland."

"So close," I murmured.

"Bella, love," he began tentatively, looking up at me with pleading tawny eyes. "I can't…you don't…" He sighed, frustrated. "I don't know what to say," he finally mumbled. "I've existed for over one hundred years, and I've never made a larger mistake than I did when I left you."

"You're right, Edward," I said without hesitation. He looked up at me, startled by my bluntness. I kept going, scared that if I paused, I'd lose the nerve to tell him what I was really thinking. "When you left, you took away my choice in the matter. You took away your family's choice too. I know you thought you were doing what was best for me, but…well..." I took a deep breath. "You messed up, Edward. You overreacted and broke me in the process. Not just my heart, but _all_ of me."

His flawless face was stricken with grief at my words. "I had no idea," he whispered, the pain evident in the quiet rasp of his voice.

My steely resolve fell away when I saw his anguish. Inching closer, I put my hand on his arm, wanting to comfort him. "I don't hate you, Edward," I murmured, giving his arm a squeeze. "I don't think a day will pass when I don't love you." His face lightened at my words.

"Bella," he breathed. "I love you so much. I'm so grateful you're safe now." He wrapped a cool arm around me and I shivered involuntarily.

"What are you doing back here, especially now?" I was curious.

He released me and leaned back on his arms. "It was only a matter of time before I showed up at your window and begged you to take me back," he explained. "I felt wrong about what I had done the moment I ran away from you in the woods that day." He sighed. "Once I made the decision to return to you, my heart was lighter. My priorities were back in line. So I came back to Forks, I wanted to make an important stop. I hadn't seen my family in months, and decided to visit them…I wanted to surprise Esme. Turns out I was the one surprised. The house was empty. I knew immediately where they had gone."

"Well, your timing was perfect," I whispered softly, thinking of Jacob.

"Was it?" His voice was full of hope. "I didn't know how you would react to seeing me again. I…hoped I wouldn't be too late." He took my hand and leaned forward until his lips tickled my ear. "You've never left my heart, Bella Swan."

"Edward…" I started, pulling away and dreading what I was about to say. "I might still have love for you, but…you have to know…"

"Yes?"

His velvet tone was so full of emotion that I faltered and looked up. He was gazing at me with intensity, not trying to dazzle me, but still doing so inadvertently. My words died in my throat, and I was transported back in my mind. Back to memories of his gentle, cool fingers brushing my cheek; back to afternoons in my living room, snuggled against his strong form while Alice chattered away next to me; back to breathing in his delicious fragrance. I found myself inhaling, my mind blurring at the bliss his scent always brought. Something in my mind told me that this wasn't right, but it _felt_ so right…

"Bella?" Edward's eyes still focused on me as if nothing else existed. "You wanted to tell me something, love?"

"Something?" My mind was slowly coming out of a fog.

He smiled, his perfect white teeth flashing. "I know how you feel. Being back with you has left me unable to formulate coherent thoughts at times. I'm just…_happy_, Bella. And I never thought I would be again."

_Happy_? I furrowed my brow, remembering something that had been uttered in my head over and over again during the last few months.

_Be happy_.

I gasped, reality rushing back to me. _Jacob. Jacob made me happy now_.

I wanted to kick myself for my weakness around Edward. Feeling guilty that he had just exposed the depth of his emotions to me, I cleared my throat and gathered my courage for what I knew would be a difficult admission.

"Yes, umm…like I was saying." I tried to gain my nerve again. "Listen, Edward. I don't want to hurt you, but…I meant what I said before. I…I'm in love with Jacob now."

Edward's small smile was surprising. "I'm aware that he has been occupying your time while I was away. In a way, I'm grateful that he kept you busy so you weren't so sad all of the time. I just wish you would have chosen a friend who was safer."

I gaped at him, astonished. I didn't know how to respond.

Turned out I didn't have to, because Edward continued.

Taking my hands, he vowed, "Bella, I promise to never leave your side again."

"No," I mouthed. Then louder, "No…you don't understand, Edward. I hope we can still be friends — you don't know how much I want us to remain friends — but I'm going to be with Jacob."

"Bella…" Edward began, but I interrupted him.

"I'm going to be with Jacob," I repeated. "For the rest of my life, if he'll have me."

Edward's figure froze, struck dumb. I waited a minute for him to react, but he remained like stone.

"Edward?"

No response.

I tried again. "Edward? Tell me what you're thinking."

"You want to be…with Jacob? You don't want to be with me?"

I closed my eyes, unable to watch his distress at the realization. "But I hope to still have you in my life."

"You choose…a…mere child? Worse, a pup?" His voice wasn't angry, just disbelieving.

"He's so much more than that," I said, slightly annoyed. "He's no child, Edward. He's a grown man. And if he's a pup, what does that make you? A dead man?" His eyes widened and darkened slightly, and I knew I had hit a nerve. I groaned. This was not going as I had hoped. "Listen, Edward. A lot has changed. But what matters is what we do from this point on. Why don't we go inside and lay some ground rules, okay?"

Edward still looked shocked, but nodded almost involuntarily. Dashing to his feet faster than my eyes could register, he offered me an assisting hand. The same, familiar tingle that always coursed through me any time we touched was there, but I ignored it. Edward didn't relinquish my hand as we walked at a human pace to the back door, instead he held it gently in his, seeming to need my touch. It felt natural and comforting, so again I allowed it.

When he threw open the door, his nose wrinkled and he instinctively pushed me behind him and lowered into a crouch. "Bella, what would a werewolf be doing in my house?"

"What?" I couldn't imagine who could possibly be in the Cullen house. I pushed past Edward and entered the home, not fearful of any member of the pack who might be waiting. Looking around the kitchen, I saw bags from the Smoke House peeking out of the trash can and with a violent jolt, I remembered why the Cullen house smelled like werewolf. Whirling around in panic, I blurted, "Edward!"

His eyes looked curious and his nostrils flared as he took in the scents. "Jacob was here recently," he mused. "But there's something else…"

As he pondered the smells in the Cullen kitchen, a blur of white and black caught my eye several hundred yards in the distance, rushing toward the house. Suddenly, Edward's eyes went black and he roared "No!" furiously, swinging his arm against the kitchen island and sending shards of granite counter and wooden cabinet flying across the room. I screamed and ducked for cover against his rage.

The blur I had seen slammed into Edward and pinned him down momentarily. _Alice_. Jasper was mere seconds behind, exuding waves of calm toward his livid brother before helping to hold him down. Underneath them both, Edward continued to struggle.

"That dog! That disgusting, vile waste of space! I'll kill him," Edward snarled. "How dare he defile Bella like this…in our home? I'll fucking _end_ him." I gasped at his profanity and at the fury in which he spit his words.

"Edward!" Alice admonished, giving his shoulders a shove into the kitchen floor. He seemed to fight the calmness that Jasper sent his way, continuing to struggle and emit angry growls and epithets.

"Mongrel," Edward's wrath persisted. "He had better never…" His voice died and he finally calmed, whether from Jasper's gift or from being defenseless, I didn't know. He looked utterly defeated under the arms of his siblings.

I bent down to meet his face. "Edward?"

"Bella," his voice was broken with unachievable tears. "Are you okay, love? You're not…hurt?"

My face burnt with embarrassment and I feared for his reaction when he learned the truth. I couldn't look at him as I shook my head no.

"Jacob didn't…hurt me, Edward," I said, looking up and meeting Alice's sympathetic eyes.

Edward fell silent at this, his brow furrowed in concentration. "Oh," he finally said, "I see." He turned to his sister. "You helped set the entire thing up? You aided Jacob in this disgusting encounter? You helped him take Bella's virtue?"

Alice looked horrified and hurt, and it made me angry.

"Damn it, Edward!" I shouted. "Leave her alone." I gnawed my lip anxiously, trying to control my temper. "I don't want to be harsh with you, because I know it will be difficult to hear, but Jacob didn't do anything I didn't want him to. If anything, I initiated the entire thing." I paced in the kitchen, my feet crunching on pieces of the destroyed island. "Alice helped to set up dinner, but Jacob and I made the decision to make love." Alice's face looked guilty, and I suddenly remembered the conveniently left condoms.

Edward must have seen Alice's thoughts at that point, because he growled at his sister and began struggling again. "I'm just…_shocked_…at all of you," he seethed.

"Oh, get off your moral high horse, Edward," Jasper grumbled. "Remember that I could feel every twinge of lust emanating from you whenever Bella was around. You're not so innocent yourself."

I turned to Edward in surprise. "I never realized…"

"I never acted on it," he said quietly. "I would never disrespect you like that."

I could only exhale at the realization that we had missed out on so much — if Edward would have only allowed himself to give up an ounce of control. "I don't think I ever realized how often you ignored my wishes," I said. "Did you ever stop to really think that maybe I wanted you to act on some of those feelings? I loved you, Edward…why wouldn't I have wanted to show you that?"

Edward was silent, and I couldn't read his mood. "Doesn't matter," I muttered. "Edward, I don't regret what happened with Jacob. It was perfect…and something I always wished we could have done together, but you were always so adamant that it could never happen."

He stood, Jasper still watching him warily. "You couldn't be with me, so you settled for a werewolf? You would cheapen yourself like that?"

I whirled around in absolute shock. There wasn't anything he could have said to hurt me more — I almost couldn't believe my ears. My face burned with a fury I hadn't ever experienced and my hands clenched into fists at my side. I pressed myself into his personal space and my hand whistled through the air at human speed. He could have stopped me, but allowed my palm to make contact with his face. The smack echoed through the kitchen. My hand hurt where it had struck his granite skin, but I fought back the grimace of pain. The angry tears stung in my eyes as I pummeled his rock-hard chest with my fists. Alice pulled me away.

I almost couldn't form words, I was so livid. "What…Edward…how could you say something like that? You leave me…lie to me and tell me you don't want me, and then don't expect me to move on with my life? I'm not doing anything wrong here…how dare you make me feel differently?"

Edward's face, which had taken on an upset expression the moment my hand made contact, looked absolutely devastated at my words.

I trembled with emotion as I continued to unload. "You were the only one ever concerned about going too far. We could have been amazing together…" My voice broke, and I gasped with a ragged sob. "We could have made such sweet love, but again…that was another decision you made for me without caring about my feelings. I _love_ Jacob, and he loves me. He treats me like an equal…something you could never do." I grabbed Alice's hand, suddenly wanting to leave.

"Bella." I couldn't fathom the despair in the way he uttered my name, and I wanted to turn around…but I kept walking toward the door.

Just before exiting, I stopped and said, very softly, "Thank you for saving Jacob…you don't know how grateful I am. But until you're ready to accept that we can only be friends, don't talk to me or come near me, Edward. I can't handle the hurt anymore." I successfully held back the tears as Alice helped me onto her back and we took off.

**

_Chapter End Notes: Are you on Twitter? Find me! EllaB_twilight_

_Jacob and Bella will be going on a date in a future chapter. In your reviews, give me some date ideas...I'll credit the reader whose idea I use!_

_One more important note. Many well-known twi-fic authors are organizing a fundraising effort to raise money for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation for Childhood Cancer, a 501(c)3 public charity, to fund childhood cancer research projects. To learn more or to donate, visit: www (dot) thefandomgivesback (dot) blogspot (dot) com_


	20. Chapter 20 A Fractured Granite Heart

_Author's Note: I'm participating in the Fandom Gives Back, an organized effort by the Twilight fanfic commuity to raise money for cancer research. I've teamed up with the ladies from the Perv Pack's Smut Shack for the Twilight Fandom Fun Party - an online Pure Romance fun party to raise money for Alex's Lemonade Stand Foundation. I'm a consultant, and will be donating ALL of my profits to the cause._

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_I also want to thank mrsz (Charity), my super-beta who helped me immensely with this chapter. Edward and Carlisle's conversation was partially written by her!_

**

EPOV

_What just happened? Did I really just say those things to Bella_?

As Bella's form disappeared on the back of my leaping sister, all I could see in my mind's eye was the wounded pain that had pooled in her chocolate eyes from my regrettable words. _I caused that pain_…

When my vampire vision could no longer see them, a guttural wail erupted from deep in my chest and I collapsed onto my knees, clawing at my face in utter despair. Next to me, Jasper's knees wavered as the force of my anguish hit him fully. He moaned and tried to counter the intensity of my feelings, but nothing could help.

In the span of my existence, I had lost my living family, my life, and my humanity, but nothing compared to the pain of losing my heart…my love…my Bella.

I curled up amid the splinters and pieces of the kitchen island I had destroyed in my rage, my body betraying me with violent spasms and involuntary screams. The hurt was physical — more agonizing than the venom that changed me in 1918. Every millimeter of my body was aflame, yet every sense seemed shut off at the same time. I was trapped in a pit of overwhelming nothingness.

"Jasper," my wild voice begged. "Help me…oh my God, please!"

The grimace in his voice was unmistakable. "I'm trying, Edward…" He knelt at my side and put a trembling hand on my arm, groaning from the pain reflected by me. The spot where his skin met mine cooled instantly and I began to feel an edge of relief. Not enough by any means, but it allowed me to open my eyes and focus on my brother. His forehead was creased in stress.

I lamented his expression, feeling guilty that he had to suffer as well. I concentrated on calming my emotions, for Jasper's sake. When I was out of his range, I'd allow myself to succumb again.

"Jasper," I whispered, the words stinging as they exited my mouth. "What have I done?"

"You insulted Bella," he replied, his voice stronger but tired. "I understand the emotion behind it, but I must say I was surprised by your words to her. You hurt her, Edward."

"I hurt her," I repeated. "Not just today…when I left, too. I saw her in the dog's mind when Carlisle was tending to him…I saw how she suffered. I did that to her." I covered my face with my hands — a very human reaction to block myself from the world. "She can't hate me any more than I loathe myself."

"Bella doesn't hate you, Edward," Jasper said. "She loves you. I could feel that. She feels guilty because she still loves you, but it's undeniably there."

I didn't allow his words to give me any glimmer of hope. I knew Bella and her wonderful stubbornness. I knew she meant everything she said to me. And I knew that I had messed up — so badly. Whimpering quietly, I sat up slowly and wrapped myself in a compact ball, as if I could hold in all of my hurt to keep it from Jasper.

I winced as I thought of my words to her. _I'm shocked at you. You would cheapen yourself like that_? I hadn't meant what I said, truly. I had just never experienced such devastating emotional pain and reacted without thinking. I reacted horribly…like a jealous human teenager.

_What are you going to do? Apologize_? Jasper's thoughts were sympathetic, yet they flickered to what I had said to Alice, and I knew he was upset as well.

I nodded weakly. "And she's not the only one who deserves one," I responded. "You all do. I'm…I'm a fool." I sighed, and upon inhaling again, the intimate scents of werewolf and Bella teased my throat with their horrific truth. I fell forward again, pressing my face against the debris-covered floor. "What will I do? What can I do?" erupted painfully from my mouth, all of my emotion behind the agonizing words.

A voice from the doorway jolted me out of my self-loathing for a moment. "For one, you can stop being so damn melodramatic and making us all miserable." Rosalie's tone was harsher than usual. She hurried to Jasper's side and checked him to make sure he was handling the intensity of my emotions without hurting himself in the process.

"Rose…you don't understand," I groused.

"Like hell," she spat back, her nostrils flaring. "I can smell the two of them all over this house. So, innocent little Bella's not that innocent anymore, huh?" My lip lifted in a painful snarl and I felt myself shift up into a crouch. Rosalie just waved me off. "Edward, don't embarrass yourself more than you already have." Jasper shifted slightly to make sure he could intercept me if I did pounce at Rosalie's smug form.

I crumpled again, completely defeated. Rosalie's thoughts softened at my pain. _Are you just going to give up on her? Look, I'm not her biggest fan, but I know what she means to you. If you love her as much as you claim then you shouldn't bow out so easily, Edward_.

I snapped my head up. "Who said I'm giving up?"

Jasper smirked. "You've got your work cut out for you. I said she still loved you, but there's no denying her feelings for Jacob. It matches the intensity I always felt around the two of you."

"I never should have left," I emphasized again.

"You tend to overreact, Edward," Rosalie agreed, giving me the first inkling of a smile.

I looked at her. "Promise me you'll stop me next time?"

The two of them exchanged a glance. "Edward, there'd better never _be_ a next time," Jasper said firmly. "Your melodramatic stints as the prodigal son hurt everyone in this family more than you'll ever realize." He paused and thought intensely of Carlisle's worry, Esme's heartbreak, Alice's desperation — all brought on by my decision to leave. I cringed at the vision of infallibly cheerful Emmett, sitting sadly in the corner of a room, Rosalie murmuring words of comfort to him. My head dropped again.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. In a flash, Rosalie and Jasper were at my sides, comforting me. As if I deserved it. "What should I do?"

"First, you need to tell Bella that you know you've been an idiot," Jasper said wryly. "Let her know you're not as cocky as you put on. Then, I think you just need to give this time, Edward. She loves him. Those feelings don't just go away for humans."

Thinking of her loving the werewolf was painful. "I know."

Rosalie smiled. "But that means she still has feelings for you too, Edward. You need to show her why she loved you in the first place."

"But you also need to watch her with Jacob," Jasper added. I grimaced and he couldn't help but chuckle. "Not literally, but you need to see what the two of them have together — how they interact with each other. If you can understand what keeps her connected to him even when she obviously still loves you, it can help you learn more about making her happy."

I knew I just needed to be alone with my thoughts for a while, and decided to hunt. Standing and shaking the debris off my clothing, I said, "I'm going to fight for her. I won't do anything to make her unhappy, but I'll be doing everything I can to make things right. We belong together, I know it."

With that, I leaped out of the door and took off toward the wilderness at a brisk pace.

**

I had not hunted in weeks, so it took me longer than usual to be satiated. One adolescent mountain lion, two deer and one old black bear later, I was leaning against a tree, completely full. My head was clear and my limbs felt stronger than they had in months. However, my granite heart ached in a way that it never had. If I were capable of tears, they would be permanent fixtures on my face.

I felt as though I could reach out toward her, and she would always be out of reach for me now. And none of this would have happened if I wouldn't have let her go in the first place.

I had realized, almost from the first day away from Bella, that I had overreacted. My siblings had always lightheartedly teased me for my tendency toward the dramatic, but now I realized that it was a definite flaw — a flaw I wished now to change. It wouldn't be easy — any kind of significant behavioral change in an immortal creature like myself was a long, arduous lesson in control.

Could I do it? Was I strong enough? Could I be the man that Bella deserved…the man that she would ultimately choose? I was willing to do anything that might help, as difficult as it might be.

I heard footsteps rapidly approaching and caught his scent before my eyes saw him. _Son_, Carlisle's thoughts called to me as he made his way out of the brush to stand in front of me.

I stood at once. "Carlisle." At that moment, I realized how much I had missed him and his relaxing, steady demeanor. We fell into an embrace, his thought swirling from how happy he was to have me back to how sad he was for my situation. We settled back down on either sides of the tree trunk.

_How did your conversation with Bella go_?

"Not well," I admitted, a flush of grief surging through me again. "She's truly happy with the werewolf and…doesn't…" I squeezed my hands into fists. "She doesn't want me anymore."

Carlisle couldn't help but convey his surprise. _Not even as a friend? I find it hard to believe she would want you completely out of her life. She told us that she still loved you. I have no reason to doubt that was the truth_.

"I didn't really ask her about what our relationship could be if we weren't together romantically. I was too…angry."

Oh Edward, what happened?

I explained what took place in the kitchen and for once, Carlisle's thoughts were silent. I poured out my anger and hurt at her intimacy with Jacob, and laid bare my unwavering passionate love for Bella, which was now unreciprocated. When I finished, I was surprised to see a pile of splinters at my sides and realized I had been mangling the tree trunk while I spoke.

"I realize something, Carlisle," I said quietly, picking pieces of bark off my clothing. "I made all of the wrong decisions with her. And I wouldn't allow her to decide things for us…"

He nodded. "You have to consciously realize that Bella is not a possession, Edward. I'm sure you never meant to make her feel that way, but I'm fairly sure that is exactly how she felt."

My shoulders slumped. "I think you're right."

"You had a tendency to treat her like a glass doll," Carlisle said softly. "She was someone you loved, of course, but she was also something you spent all of your time protecting and cherishing. Bella is a person and she has needs of her own. You cannot decide what those needs are without her input. Her choices and decisions are equally as important as your own."

"If I only would have deferred to her more often, let her be an equal partner in our relationship…I probably never would have left." I inched around the tree to find my father, whose face looked pained. "How can I change this about myself?"

"It won't be easy, Edward," he said aloud. "We are very static species. But I believe if our family can overcome something as central to our instincts as the desire to feed on human blood, then we can change in other ways as well. It takes control and concentration, but it can be done."

Silently, he added, _If anyone can better themselves in this way, it is you, Edward. You're stronger than you realize_.

"I'm not so sure about that…but I have to try. She's worth it," I said firmly.

_But Edward, even if you do this, there's no guarantee that she will come back to you. Bella seems to have chosen Jacob, and she seems happy. He's a good and decent man._

"I know," I said, hesitating. "And I'm not going to interfere in their happiness, as hard as that is for me. But I really messed up today — I shouldn't have spoken to her that way. I need to control myself and my responses, because I can't hurt her again." I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated. "I've hurt her so much," my voice was anguished, "and I'm willing to do anything if it means I can remain close to her throughout her life. I just want her to be happy."

_Even if that's with Jacob_?

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Yes," I said softly. "But I do still love her. She is my existence. And I will always be there in the background, waiting for a chance. Until then, if I can only be her friend, then I will try to be everything she needs me to be in that capacity."

Carlisle's face was sad for me, but he nodded. "I think that's a good idea, Edward." He stood and offered a hand to me. "Son, we've all missed you so much. Come home now?"

I managed a weak smile. We walked into the trees at a human pace, on our way back to our family. Yet my heart was miles away with Bella, who was riding away on the back of my sister —– every second traveling farther and farther away, into the arms of another man.

**

_Chapter End Notes: Once you're done reading and reviewing...come play with us on the LNAD forum thread! I give spoilers and share photos, and we have a grand ol' time! Link is: www(dot)twilighted(dot)net /forum ?f=19&t=5795_

_Find me on Twitter! EllaB_twilight_


	21. Chapter 21 Healing

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**

"I'm going to try to not allow this to occupy my thoughts," I told Alice firmly as we waited for Seth at the reservation edge. "Jacob deserves all of me, especially today."

Alice's face was sympathetic. "I'm so sorry that this situation is so messed up, Bella," she said softly. "I never even saw him coming…I must have been so focused on the battle, I didn't see when he made the decision to come back to Forks."

"It wouldn't have mattered, Alice," I said. "The werewolves were all around when he showed up. You couldn't have seen it if you tried." I gave her a firm hug, which she returned. I was much sadder about the turn of events with Edward than I wanted to let on. I never imagined he'd come back, and I certainly never wanted to hurt him like I did.

Somehow, Alice seemed to know that I was struggling. She held the hug much longer than usual. "I don't know if this will help anything, but I know Edward didn't mean the hurtful things that he said," she whispered. "He was just…surprised."

"I know," I said sadly. "But he still said it…and with the way things are — with Jacob and me, I mean — I think we just need to take some time to figure out how we'll proceed now that he's back." I felt her nodding against my shoulder. I held her for several moments longer, needing that contact.

Her eyes finally smiled when we separated. "So? How was it?"

"How was what?" I was confused.

She giggled. "Last night! How was it?"

"Oh!" I exclaimed, embarrassed. "I, uh…don't know if I should talk about it."

Alice admonished me with a wave of her hand. "You're my best girlfriend, Bella. If you don't talk to me about it, who _will_ you confide in?"

"Oh, I don't know…Jacob, maybe?" I teased her. "Seriously, you want to know? I've never asked you about Jasper."

She leaned against a tree and shrugged. "What do you want to know? He has incredible stamina, and he does this thing with his tongue…"

"Alice, I was joking!" The blush, that had started to creep out of my cheeks, returned with a vengeance. I realized she was still waiting. "You're seriously asking me this?"

Alice nodded. "I helped set the whole thing up, didn't I? I think I deserve some details."

"Yeah, about that…thanks," I said softly. "For helping to plan it and for leaving the…well, for everything. It was an absolutely perfect night." A dreamy smile spread across my face and Alice squealed and grabbed my hand.

"Tell me everything!"

I laughed, slightly uncomfortably. "Alice! I'm not going to tell you _everything_…but, I can't believe how great it was." My voice lowered to a whisper. "We had done other…stuff, but I've never felt closer to someone as I did last night. It was incredible."

"Did it…hurt?" Genuine curiosity played on her face when she asked. "I know it usually does the first time."

"A bit," I admitted. "But Jacob was so gentle…so loving. I can't even find words to explain it, Alice."

She beamed at me. "I'm so happy for you." Her head cocked to the side. "Seth is here," she whispered a moment before he appeared between two trees. "Go take care of your werewolf — I think he'll really need you tonight."

**

The house was quiet when I arrived. Quil was still leaning against the wall near the window. He gave me the one-minute rundown of what I had missed. Jacob had been in obvious pain the entire time, but had managed to catch a few minutes of sleep here and there. He had been mumbling my name often.

"Thanks, Quil," I whispered, giving him a brief hug. He exited the house quickly and I saw his dark wolf shadow pass by the window as he went on four legs to meet the rest of the pack at Embry's home.

Jacob drifted in and out of consciousness for the next hour, hissing random four-letter words as bones mended and muscles healed. I knew when his spine completely healed, because he began groaning and clutching at his right hip and thigh, finally feeling the pain there completely. I couldn't imagine the anguish he was in, and didn't know what else to do but wipe the sweat from his brow and caress his face lovingly. Occasionally, when his handsome features contorted with pain, I would lean down and press my lips softly to his forehead. It made the worry lines fade a bit.

I was exhausted from lack of sleep, stress and blood loss, but I kept my vigil. Just after 6:30 p.m., Jacob's quiet cursing ceased and he calmed. I knew the worst was over. His bones appeared straight and strong — Carlisle had done a good job setting them.

When Jacob settled into what seemed to be a comfortable sleep, I carefully nestled down next to him on his left side, pressing my cold, bloodless hands and feet against his warm skin and nuzzling in. I thought I heard him murmur my name softly before I gave myself over to unconsciousness.

**

The ringing of the telephone shattered our relaxed slumber, and Jacob cursed aloud in a sleepy voice. The receiver trilled again on the nightstand.

"You have to get that, Jacob," I mumbled from my spot under his arm. "Can you move yet?"

"Sure, sure," he groaned, reaching up with a fully-healed arm and grabbing it before it could ring again. "Hello?" Through the receiver I could hear Billy's voice. Jacob sat up a bit. "Yeah, everything is over," he said, his voice suddenly clear of sleep. "Is Charlie still with you and Sue?" I couldn't hear Billy's answer, but Jacob began nodding his head and murmuring the occasional "yeah," and "okay." At one point, he chuckled lowly and said, "Nothing I couldn't handle." He glanced at me and added, "I have a good nurse."

Finally, I heard a hesitation from Jacob and looked up at him. His lip was trembling and he was worrying the edge of his sheet. "Dad?" his voice was small, unsure. "Embry…" His voice hitched and a tear slid out of one eye. I watched it as it slowly traveled down his russet skin to his chin. A second tear fell from the other eye. "Embry…didn't make it." The receiver was silent. "Dad?" Finally, Billy's muffled voice came from the other side. He spoke for a long time, while Jacob lowered his head and squeezed his eyes shut, trembling slightly.

I touched his arm gently and the trembling ceased. He gave me a forced smile.

"Yeah, Dad. I know. I'll see you tomorrow morning — don't be surprised if Bella's still here. I…I love you." He hung up and hid his face in his large hands.

The moment the phone connection was broken, I launched myself at him, climbing on his lap to wrap my arms and legs around his warm torso. Tears stained my face as well, and I felt Jacob bury his face in my hair and begin sobbing, his healed body shaking with every gasp. I held him as he cried for his friend, and I cried too — for Embry, for the pain Jacob was feeling, and for the overwhelming guilt that screamed that all of this was my fault.

When Jacob had finally ceased his sobs, I pulled back and kissed his salty cheeks and lips. He opened his mouth as though to speak, but quickly shut it again. I continued my loving kisses, wanting them to ease his pain and communicate my love. He opened his mouth again, and this time did not stay silent.

"Edward," was all he muttered. I froze, my lips pressed to his temple. "What are you thinking?" he asked me quietly.

I pulled away, tasting the tears on my lips nervously. "I don't know, Jake," I admitted. "I never expected to see him again. And then to have him save your life…" Jacob shifted uncomfortably at the thought. "I'm feeling so many emotions right now, but I suppose I'm grateful he came back…because otherwise I would have lost you." I took his hand and held it between our bodies. "But I don't want you worrying about him — he is not the person on my mind right now. You are. How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?"

Jacob sighed softly, a small smile finally brightening his face, which seemed as though it had aged during the last few hours. "You're amazing," he whispered.

I dropped my eyes. "I'm not that amazing," I muttered. "Don't you realize that this entire situation is all my fault? Embry…" I stopped to allow a new sob to rise from my chest before continuing, my voice strained with anguish. "Embry would still be alive if it weren't for me…" I cried, dropping Jacob's hands to cover my eyes.

Jacob was silent for a moment as I wept. Finally, he took my wrists gently, careful of my wounds, and pried my hands away from my face. I resisted, but he was too strong.

"Look at me, Bella," he said, his voice firm. I couldn't — I was too ashamed. "Bella," he repeated, ducking his head to meet my eyes. "It wasn't just you who needed to be protected. We are protecting our res and the residents of the area. Besides, _you_ didn't bring Victoria to Forks." I tried to retort, but he shushed me. "She and her mate and the third bloodsucker came through here on their own last spring, killing and feeding. We would have tried to kill her then, too…if all of us had phased at that time." Jacob shrugged. "It's what we do."

His words made me feel better, but I couldn't stop the tears. His red-rimmed eyes were finally spent, so he simply cradled me closely while I cried myself out. Two minutes or two hours later — I honestly couldn't tell — I finally calmed, concentrating on the warm hand stroking my tangled hair.

I was suddenly very aware of the dirt caked on my hands and arms, mixed with flakes of dried blood. My cheeks were clammy and raw from my tears, and an aroma of sweat surrounded my body. I needed a shower in the worst way — to wash away the grime and memories of the day. I needed to cleanse my soul.

"Ugh," I groaned as I pulled away. I rubbed my eyes and ran my hands through my tangled hair. "Oh, gross," I groused, eliciting a small smile from Jacob. I stood and pulled him to his feet. "Come on," I said softly. Without a hint of embarrassment, I tugged Leah's shirt over my head and worked to unfasten the jeans. Jacob understood, and silently began undressing as well. Finally naked, I took his hand in my own and led the way to the small bathroom in the Black's home.

As we waited for the water to heat up, I ran my hands over his skin, exploring the areas that had been broken by Victoria. His back was straight and true, and his arm had no sign of trauma. I nearly started crying again in relief. Jacob covered my hands with his and squeezed them.

"I'm fine, Bella," he told me.

It wasn't until we were underneath the steaming water that my senses finally awakened. My anguish swirled down the drain along with the dirty, soapy water. Jacob caressed shampoo into my hair, and I closed my eyes and allowed myself to enjoy his touch. Taking a sudsy washcloth, I ran a soapy trail across the muscles of his stomach and down the side of his hip. I couldn't help noticing that Jake was becoming aroused.

I swirled the bubbles around his bellybutton and started to move lower when he grabbed my wrists. I looked up at him, and was surprised to see reluctance and uncertainty in his eyes.

"Bella? I don't know…if I can…"

My heart broke with how scared, sad and vulnerable his voice was. I kissed his chest, sipping the drops of water there as I did. "Jacob," I breathed, my own voice trembling and my empty eyes prickling with impossible tears. "I need you so much right now. There's, I mean…there's…so much hurt, confusion. So much _pain_. I need something good…I need _you_!" I pressed myself against his strong body, gripping his midsection tightly, as though letting go would mean my end. "I need to feel good…even if it's just for a moment." I met his eyes. "I think you need that too."

Jacob dropped to his knees in the small shower and rested his head on my breasts, moaning in anguish. He held me as tightly as I clung to him, and even though he never responded to my words, I knew he wanted the same thing.

He raised his head to look up at me from his place between my breasts. I leaned down to grasp his lips in my own, kissing him as burning tears washed down my face along with the water from the shower. He kissed me back, the hesitancy fading away to raw, aching need.

Breathlessly, we clutched at one another, hopelessly lost in the embrace and the love that kept us sane at the moment. I felt his chest hitch against me, and I realized he was crying. I squeezed him tighter and broke from the kiss to put my lips to his ear. "Jacob," my wavering voice was insistent in his ear. "Baby, I'm here…it's going to be okay."

He pushed me back, and for a moment I thought he was putting space between us. But when my rear pressed against the shower tiles, he moved toward me on his knees and slowly rose, sliding against my skin and covering my body with his own. He rubbed his hands down my sides and along the curve of my hips as I reached up around his neck and kissed him again.

His length pressed firmly against my stomach as our lips became more urgent. I had to remind myself to gasp for air, because at that moment, I needed him even more than oxygen. His hands burnt trails on my sides, my breasts. Every time his fingertips brushed my nipples, I moaned against his mouth.

We must have lost track of time, because the water started cooling and we were still not done with each other's mouths. I suppressed a shiver, cold even against Jacob's heat. He broke away from me and reached behind him to turn the knobs. Before I could think about stepping out of the shower, he wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me to him, lifting me against his chest. Dripping, he ran us down the hall into his room and placed me gently on his bed, never relinquishing his firm grip.

"Jacob," I gasped, not wanting to stop, "When will your dad be home?"

He "hmphed" against my neck, where he was nibbling and licking without a pause.

I moaned when the tip of his tongue ran the length of my jaw. "Jacob," I persisted.

Continuing with his nuzzles and kisses, he explained, "He's meeting with Old Quil and Sam tonight, and will be staying at the Ateara's since it will be so late. He'll be back first thing in the morning. He wants to give us time alone."

I inhaled sharply as Jacob grazed his teeth along my collarbone. "Charlie would be ticked if he knew…" Jacob merely chuckled as he moved lower and placed warm, chaste kisses on my nipples. I arched into him. "He won't say anything, will he?" My voice was husky.

Jacob pulled back and his gaze bore into mine. "Bella, no more talking. It's time I rendered you speechless." I was so absorbed in his heavily-lidded face, I didn't notice him reaching into his nightstand. He tried to use his werewolf speed to put the condom on, but fumbled like a typical nervous male. Pausing, he gave me a stricken, embarrassed look that made me melt, and I smiled at him and reached down to help.

"Be careful, Jake…I'm a bit sore," I told him, trailing my hands through the dark hair above his length, up along his abs and finally settling above his heart, where I could feel every beat.

Jacob nodded and bent down to kiss the tip of my nose and then my lips. "Tell me if it hurts at all," he whispered against my mouth. He pushed my legs apart with his knees and slowly nudged the head of his erection between my folds. I held my breath as he slid in and out a few times, each thrust forcing him deeper and deeper inside of me, until he was buried completely. "Bella?"

"Mmm, it's good, Jake…keep going."

There were no rough touches or profanity. My fingernails did not rake against his skin sharply and he did not plunge into me forcefully. Instead, it was slow and warm. We whispered our love to one another as our bodies acted it out. At times, one of us would be overcome by the emotions of the day and of the moment, and the other would murmur comforting words.

My climax was overwhelming and my voice shook as I moaned my love for Jacob. The orgasm was the same pleasure as before, but the passion and need behind it brought it to a new heights. Jacob reached his finish very soon after, pressing deeply into me as his member twitched and released. After he withdrew and took care of the condom, we wrapped ourselves in blankets and made a warm, naked burrito on his too-small bed. It felt completely natural to drift to sleep in his arms for the second night in a row.

**

_Growl_. My eyes fluttered open. _Grrrrowl_. For a split second, I panicked, visions of the battle's horror replaying in my mind. I looked at Jacob, peacefully sleeping in my arms, his nose pressed against my breastbone. The growls weren't coming from him.

_Raawwrr,_ g_rowl_. Finally, I looked down at my tummy, where the sounds were originating. My stomach was hungry, and sounding as angry as a perturbed werewolf. I hadn't had a thing to eat since the hurried breakfast the previous morning. With a glance at the window, I could tell it was not yet dawn.

_Growl_. That one wasn't me, and with a smile I realized that Jacob's stomach had joined the conversation. groaning, I stretched my stiff, sore limbs and detangled myself from Jacob's hot grip. Tiptoeing to the dresser, I found some old sweats that were obviously from Jacob's pre-phasing life — they were only slightly big on me. I fastened my bra and padded down the dark hallway to the kitchen.

I worked on breakfast with only the single, weak light from above the sink filling the kitchen with a subtle glow. Finding cheese and ham, I set about making two omelets — one with two eggs for me, and one with five eggs for Jacob. The very idea of a person consuming five eggs made me smile, especially when I knew it wouldn't be enough. Folding the omelets and plating them, I grabbed two bananas as well.

I was just about to get the milk out of the fridge when strong arms encircled me from behind. I jumped, screaming out loud, my eyes seeing nothing but black and red. My legs gave out and the arms held me up as I wriggled against the grasp, my breathing deep and terrified. It wasn't until I heard Jacob's soothing baritone in my ear that my panic lessened and I began crying in relief. "Jake," I sobbed. "I'm sorry…I thought…"

"Shh, it's okay, Bells," he soothed, holding me tightly as I calmed slowly. "I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. I'm so sorry."

I sniffled, my chest hitching with hiccups, but my tears ending. "I don't know why…"

"You went through something traumatic yesterday," he said softly, stroking the last of my tears from my cheek. "It's easy for me to forget that you experienced it differently. I was able to rely on my animal instincts and it helps to dull the involuntary human responses."

I let him hold me for a few minutes before I remembered our breakfast. "I was going to surprise you," I mumbled, gesturing toward the omelets and fruit. "I hope my banging around with the pans didn't wake you."

He laughed, kissing the top of my head. "No, actually…my alarm woke me."

"You set your alarm?"

Jacob nodded. "For 6 a.m.," he said softly. "Yesterday morning I made you a promise. I wanted to make sure to give you your kiss at 6:05." He glanced behind me at the microwave display. "Just in time," he murmured, moving toward me slowly.

I gasped lightly as a thrill of emotion coursed through me at his thoughtfulness, and leaned forward eagerly. The kiss was soft and light, but full of the same affection we had expressed in a different way the night before. He pulled back and chuckled as I kept my eyes closed a moment longer, my lips not ready to let him go. "Jake," I whimpered, wanting more.

"Sorry," he laughed again. "No more kissing until the werewolf is fed! I'm starving!"

I sniffled the last remnants of my tears away and laughed with him. We both settled down to our food.

Jacob had already inhaled a quarter of the omelet before I brought my first bite to my mouth. Before I could enjoy it, however, the front door opened and I shrieked. Billy Black sat in the doorway, a sad look on his face that changed to a smirk when he saw us standing in the kitchen holding our plates — me clad in my bra and Jacob in nothing but a pair of boxers.

Jacob's plate was on the counter and his arms around me before I knew it. "Dad!" he said sharply, shielding me.

Billy looked away, his smirk fading to an embarrassed blush. "Sorry…oh damn, I'm sorry."

Jacob picked me up and swiftly took me to his room where I searched for Leah's shirt from the day before. I hadn't paid attention to where I'd discarded it before our shower, but finally found it on Jacob's small desk near the door. I was mortified. Not only had Jacob's father seen me in my bra, but he obviously knew what had to be going on in his home.

Jacob piped up from his spot at the foot of the bed. "It's okay, you know," he said, trying to reassure me. "Dad doesn't care about what we do...as long as we're careful."

"That's not the point, Jacob," I groaned, feeling my warm, red cheeks with my cool hands. "Not only did he see me undressed, but it seems like every single person in our lives knows that we've had sex! The pack, the Cullens, now your dad…"

"I'm not ashamed," Jacob said firmly.

I sat down next to him on the bed. "I'm not either, but it's none of their business. This is _us_…it should be a private thing. I don't need to know everything that goes on between Sam and Emily."

"That's good, because you _really_ don't want to know," Jacob said with a grimace. I made a face at him at the same time my stomach began its protests again. "Bells, let's go finish your awesome breakfast before it gets cold."

"I can't," I whispered, self-conscious. "I don't know if I can look at your dad again."

As if he knew we were talking about him, Billy's voice sounded through the closed door.

"Don't worry, Bella! I won't tell Charlie anything!"

"Oh God," I groaned, covering my face again while Jacob fought back his laughter. Slowly, we stood and made our way back to our plates. I was careful not to make eye contact with Billy, and, to his credit, he avoided looking at me as well.

Jacob's food disappeared in a matter of minutes while I ate more slowly. When both of our plates were empty, I could tell Billy was hesitating to say something. I finally sighed and gathered the nerve to look at him. He took that as permission to talk.

"Embry's family members were told that he slipped while cliff diving, and fell," Billy said, his rich voice cracking slightly. "We need to make sure that everyone has the same story. Jacob, you're supposed to check in with Sam this morning." Jacob nodded, his face clouding and Billy continued. "The loss of Embry, especially so soon after Harry, will affect our people greatly. But there are so many things to be grateful for, at the same time."

"Like what, Dad?" Jacob's voice suddenly sounded small, like a child.

Billy pushed his chair up to his son, who knelt down next to him. Even in that position, Jacob still looked down to meet his father's gaze. Billy put his hands on Jacob's shoulders and looked up at him intently. "Our people are safe. Bella and the rest of Forks are safe. The treaty with the Cullens remains intact, and they've proven to be valuable allies. And…" His voice trembled. "And I see my son as the man I always hoped he'd become — as a protector of his people. A true descendent of Ephraim Black." Billy paused, and his eyes flickered to me. "And he has a good woman beside him who makes him happy."

My eyes filled at his words.

"Bella," Billy turned to address me. "You'll never know how grateful I am that you came into Jacob's life. Ever since you moved back, I've seen a change in him. Whether you were friends, or…more…" Billy's face reddened for a moment while he continued. "You're a presence for him that is good and strong. He needs that."

"I…" I stammered, overcome. "I…" Nothing seemed right after such a beautiful statement, so finally I murmured, "Thank you, Billy."

Billy looked pleased and shrugged his shoulders. "Now, you kids…I'm not going to get in your way, but don't you dare get me in trouble with Charlie!" I ducked my face into Jacob's shoulder while father and son laughed.

"Don't worry, Dad," Jacob said. "Charlie loves me! Just ask Bella."

I couldn't hold back a laugh of my own. It felt nice for my face to form a smile — it had been too long.

**

_End Notes: Reviews are great, but so are the dollars raised for the Fandom Gives Back. Both are much-appreciated. Let's celebrate the release of NEW MOON (which was kick-ass, by the way...hope you all get to see it) by helping kids with cancer!_


	22. Chapter 22 Reconnecting

Jacob's warm foot caressed mine underneath the kitchen table. I giggled, pushing away the roaming appendage.

"Jake…you're never going to get your homework done if you don't start concentrating."

He sighed and pushed away his notebook. "Bella, I'm never going to get my homework done because I have almost two months to catch up on." He made a face at his textbooks, and I couldn't help laughing and reaching for his notes. He caught my hand in his and lifted it to his mouth, brushing his nose against my palm. "I'm also never going to be successful at concentrating with you so close."

I fought back the surge of desire that flared in my chest. "I promised you I'd help you," I reminded him. "You have your Algebra problems to finish, and I'll organize your history notes for your test on Thursday."

"Shouldn't you be filling out some college applications?"

"All done," I told him as he continued to stroke my hand. "Finished my one to Peninsula College last night and my application to U-dub went out a few days ago."

"Only two?" Jacob raised his eyebrow at me. "Aren't you supposed to apply to a few different places? Keep your options open?"

I shrugged. "I want to stay close to Forks," I said simply. "Either way, I'd have to stay on campus, but I want to be able to come home on the weekends."

"Why? Got a guy back at home?" He grinned.

"No," I smiled back. "A wolf…"

He made a move to kiss me and I stopped him with a finger against his warm lips.

I motioned toward the spread books in front of us. "Ah ah ah…back to work!"

He grumbled again but grabbed his pencil and calculator.

**

Ten days had passed since the battle. Ten days since Embry's death. Ten days since Edward's return. Life was certainly complicated, but we all were trying to return to a sense of normalcy. For me, normalcy resembled something pretty weird.

Alice and Edward had reenrolled in Forks High School. Edward maintained a respectful distance from me, offering the occasional smile and a friendly "hello" every once in a while. He seemed to be doing his best to honor my wishes to stay away while I processed everything. Still, I noticed the way his gazes lingered after me, and how his fingers twitched when he passed me in the hall, as if he wanted to reach out and touch me. As much as I hated to admit it, I wanted to reach out to him too.

Both Cullens joined our large group at the lunch table, and it was awkward, but not unpleasant. Alice chattered away with Angela, and tried to involve Jessica and Lauren in her conversations. Edward surprised me by occasionally including himself in the petty conversations of Mike, Eric and Tyler, but mostly sat in silence. I often joined him in that silence, and we sat in a comfortable, understood bubble of deliberate stillness while voices surrounded us. These moments were the few when I would meet his eyes and offer a small smile, which he always returned.

Yet he continued to respect my request to stay away, and I was thankful yet also a bit sad about his compliance. I knew I would be the first one to break; I just didn't know when.

I was quickly realizing that I didn't have a choice in the matter — even if I weren't pursuing him romantically, I still felt compelled to maintain a relationship with Edward. Part of me appreciated that our draw to one another was the result of fate, but another part — the part that still blindly denied the threat imprinting posed to me and Jacob — questioned the reality of fate altogether.

I could have driven myself mad worrying about "the Edward situation." I knew he was hurting from my distance, and his pain made _me_ unhappy. I also knew that Jacob was being outwardly understanding about the whole thing, yet hid a good amount of his own apprehension. I couldn't ignore the guilt and confusion forever, but I still didn't allow myself to dwell on the Edward situation too intently. Lately there had been more pressing issues with which to deal.

**

Embry's funeral had been held the previous Wednesday. It had been a less traditional affair than Harry Clearwater's, since Embry had not been a tribe elder, but it didn't stop the nearly one hundred mourners from turning it into a fitting remembrance of the young man. The closed casket was a heartbreaking but necessary aspect, but seeing the anonymous box with a simple framed photo on it nearly brought me to my knees.

Only a handful of us knew the truth. Knowing didn't make it any easier.

I had resisted my tears as much as possible, knowing that Jacob was hanging on to his composure by a thread. All of the pack members wore shell-shocked, empty gazes during the public visitation. Their tears seemed impossible. Mine, however, came much easier to my dismay. Jacob put his arm around me and comforted me, which seemed backwards.

Embry was so young. He was full of so much potential. The mere thought of how quickly and tragically his life ended made my eyes betray me.

As my eyes blurred with tears, I saw an impossible sight. Swiping the water from my vision, I was surprised to see Carlisle entering the funeral home quietly, Esme at his side. Her face still bore bandages to cover the scarring from the battle. Alice followed closely behind, clutching a visibly uncomfortable Jasper — the emotions in the room must have been overwhelming for him. Behind them filed Edward, Rosalie and Emmett. A flurry of whispers broke out at their appearance, but Jacob just squeezed me tighter and murmured reassurances. The Cullens were paying their last respects to Embry as well.

Throughout the brief but touching service, Edward's eyes never left me and Jacob. I tried to ignore his stares — they weren't seeming to bother Jacob — but I found myself glancing at him every so often. Each time my eyes met his, he gave me a sympathetic smile. Yet he never looked away.

After the ceremony at the La Push cemetery had ended, I began to make my way over to the Cullens, but they immediately left without a word to anyone. As I stood there, watching their silent, retreating backs, Sam came up behind me and put a searing hand on my shoulder. "Carlisle asked if they could attend, and I felt it was only fitting. But only the public service here at the funeral home, of course. He…Carlisle asked me about you, Bella." I looked at him in surprise and Sam shrugged. "How you were holding up…he said you hadn't been to the house since the battle and wanted to make sure you were doing well. They wanted me to tell you that they miss you and love you." Sam couldn't hide his mild discomfort at sharing this message.

"Sam," Emily said, appearing behind him and wrapping a delicate arm around his waist. "It's time to go." Her eyes flickered to me. "You too, Bella…come on. We have work to do."

Most of the mourners returned to the Call home for the usual post-funeral luncheon. While placing the serving spoons in the various casseroles the women of La Push had made, I had to stop and cover my eyes, fighting back the sobs. It felt too familiar to be doing this, and I remembered Harry Clearwater's burial with clarity. The routine of these sad events was tragic. Nothing about these days should _ever_ be routine and familiar.

Kim, who had been staring out of the window at the forest line, came to my side to offer a friendly hug and murmured concern. I was grateful for her, and for Emily, who also appeared and took the silverware from my hands to continue the lunch preparations. I recovered momentarily, swiping at my eyes with the sleeves of my sweater.

Many of the men and women remarked that several of the young Quileute men were missing from the luncheon crowd. Embry's mother looked upset by the absences, wondering where her son's friends were. Sue Clearwater, Emily and I exchanged glances but did not speak. Instead, our ears strained toward the forest, where the occasional mournful howl sounded. The pack was honoring their fallen brother in their own way.

**

Since Embry's tragic death at the hand of Victoria, the members of the pack seemed to lose a bit of their usual unabashed cheerfulness. Embry had always been at the center of most of that lighthearted banter anyway. But it was striking to see the change in attitude when the wolves were together.

Jacob preferred to spend his time with me anyway. Now that they didn't have regular patrols, he only had pack obligations once a week — which made me insistent that he go back to school. Billy agreed with me and Jacob reluctantly complied, grumbling that he had aged beyond his classmates and felt like a 6 foot, 8 inch fool squeezed into those small desks. At least he wasn't alone, and I snickered to think of Paul, Quil and Jacob sitting in English class together, all legs and muscles, towering over their non-pack friends.

A large, socked foot roamed up my calf and began inching its way up my thigh — Jacob certainly loved a good game of footsie under the table. And he was persistent. I shifted away from his advances, shooting him a warning smirk. He grinned back and scooted around the table closer to me. His hand replaced the foot on my thigh. He started to lean toward me, and I closed my eyes and sighed softly, waiting to feel his welcome lips…

Charlie chose that moment to walk into the kitchen. I jumped slightly and Jacob straightened up, but Charlie just looked at us and shook his head, walking to the fridge for two Rainiers and immediately returning to the living room and the lure of the flat screen. I heard Billy mumble his thanks before they turned their attention to the game.

"Bella, do you have to work on Saturday?"

"No, why?" I asked, absentmindedly scratching the itchy, healing skin on my wrists.

Jacob's teeth gleamed with his wide smile and he smoothed his hands across my band-aids, silently urging me to leave my wounds alone. "I have a surprise planned, and this Saturday would be perfect. And before you complain about me spoiling you, I want to let you know that it's not costing me a thing."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "A surprise? Last time you surprised me, we ended up practically skinny dipping in some hot springs." My eyes widened as my ears grew hot. "We aren't…are we going back to the hot springs?"

Jacob's gaze turned sultry at the memory. "Why? Would you like to go back there?"

"Maybe sometime…" My voice trailed off as the heat in my face grew.

Jacob scooted even closer. "We don't need the hot springs to recreate some of those memories, you know," he whispered huskily. I glanced at the door to the living room nervously as he leaned toward me and nuzzled my neck with his warm nose and lips.

"Jake," I protested weakly, my resolve non-existent. I closed my eyes and tilted my head, giving him better access to my sensitive neck. "Mmm…"

He murmured against my skin. "Does this mean you'll let me surprise you on Saturday?"

"Yeah," I sighed in contentment. He chuckled and moved back, grabbing his pencil while I pouted at the loss of his warmth against my neck, my eyes still closed.

"Bella," he teased, "we're never going to get our homework done if you don't start concentrating…"

**

Alice was giggling at my annoyance as we sat in my truck in the school parking lot Friday morning. I had just finished looking under my seats for the fourth time in ten minutes, but still couldn't find my umbrella. I was pretty sure it was leaning against the side of the porch at home, but couldn't stop hoping it would magically appear in my truck. Alice, of course, didn't have an umbrella. I didn't know if she was physically able to dodge most of the raindrops, but she always ended up much drier and put-together than the rest of the rain-sodden students.

The Volvo sat next to us, Edward leaning back against in the driver's seat, lost in the song issuing from his speakers. Outside, fat drops of rain made a different kind of incessant music on the roof of the Chevy. I sighed.

"Stupid rain," my voice was defeated. "It never stops, does it?"

"I thought you had started to like the rain," Alice grinned. "Besides, tomorrow will be sunnier." I grunted and stole a glance over at Edward's peaceful form in the vehicle next to us. He looked worry-free for the moment, but when his eyes opened and fixed on me, I saw the dark circles and even darker irises. He wasn't taking care of himself. Even so, he was still breathtakingly handsome. Turning back, I saw Alice's sad eyes observing me and I made a face at being caught.

"He's really suffering right now, you know," Alice's voice was firm and I cringed. "I don't think it's because of the whole Jacob situation, either."

"I don't want to talk about this, Alice," I said softly, peeking over through the raindrop-covered window, knowing he could probably hear us.

"He's a vampire, Bella…he can't just change the way he feels about you," she insisted. "That's not how our kind exist. I promise you, Edward just wants to be near you, even if that's just as a friend. You're as vital to his existence as the blood he drinks. You're his world."

I leaned my forehead on my steering wheel. "I just don't know, Alice. I'm not sure if I can be his friend. It's too complicated. Not to mention that it's not fair to him, especially if he'll always consider me to be his 'mate.' And it's not fair to Jacob, either."

"Just…really think about it, Bella. I may be his sister, but I'm also his closest friend." She put her hand on my arm for emphasis. "And he's a terrific friend to have."

I let her words sink in, knowing that I agreed with them but scared of how to manage the situation.

"Are you ready to run for it?" I finally asked, gathering my latest English novel — Stanley Uris's QB VII — and my backpack and putting the hood up on my raincoat. "Even though I know it will feel like a slow walk for you."

Alice's tinkling laugh filled the truck's cab. "I'll race you."

I rolled my eyes and pushed the door open. My hair immediately dampened in the downpour; I took off toward the front doors of Forks High School, several hundred feet away. Alice laughed behind me as I clumsily dodged puddles through the parking lot. Edward remained behind in his car, but I could almost feel his amber eyes on me.

"Stupid rain," I repeated, trying my best not to slide. "I swear Mother Nature is out to get me."

Alice turned her face upwards, seeming to relish the drops on her pale face as she danced after me. "Yeah, but if the sun was out, you wouldn't have the pleasure of my company." I snorted, turning to offer a smart comment, when my feet slid out from under me. I closed my eyes tightly as my book and keys flew from my hands and my face flew toward the wet pavement.

The painful impact never came. My eyes flew open and focused on Edward's face, mere inches from me. I was wrapped tightly in his arms as he held me up from the ground. I swear I heard him inhale, as if savoring my scent. And the way he cradled me felt incredibly intimate. My skin burned where his cool skin made contact and my heart thudded loudly at his proximity. Alice stood a few feet away, clutching my keys and novel, and holding my backpack up out of the puddles.

I blinked in confusion. In a flash, he set me up on my feet and released me, his eyes dark. I couldn't help looking around to see if anyone had noticed his speedy save, but everyone else was preoccupied with avoiding the downpour.

"Thanks," I stammered. He responded with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"No problem, Bella," he replied. "I'll see you in Spanish…have a…a good day." With a pained look at his sister, he walked quickly away from us. My eyes never left his retreating form — my heart hurting with every step he took away from me. Alice nudged me lightly and I realized we were still standing in the rain, the pair of us soaked to the bone. With a shiver, we finished our sprint into school and headed for the girl's bathroom to dry off.

**

When I entered my Spanish classroom, Edward was already in his seat next to my empty desk all the way in the back corner. His eyes stared out of the window at the continuing rain, feigning boredom, but I knew his ears were listening for my approach. I settled into my chair and, for the first time since his return, turned to him. It was time.

"H-hey Edward," I said, my voice sounding much more casual than I felt. His head whipped to me, surprised, and his eyes searched mine, seeking some kind of reassurance that he could respond. When I nodded slightly and gave him a nervous smile, his entire form relaxed and a fire flickered in his ochre irises.

"Bella," he breathed, relief pouring out in that one uttered word, almost as if he had been holding his breath all these days and only now exhaled. His hand started to reach for mine, but then he froze and ran it through his messy hair instead.

I offered him a smile and reached for his hand instead. It was as smooth and cold as I remembered, and my fingers felt the familiar jolt that his touch always brought. If a vampire could look nervous, I knew Edward would be. "It's okay, Edward," I said. "I think I'm expecting it to be awkward for a while."

He returned my smile and focused on my hand in his. His long fingers wrapped around my palm and his eyes seemed to lighten at the sight. "Yeah."

The silence that followed was not uncomfortable. There wasn't really anything left to say. Except…

Edward's voice was pained. "Those things I said to you…Bella, I can't tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean any of it. I…"

"Edward, I know," I interrupted him. "Don't dwell on blaming yourself for this situation. I didn't react very maturely to it all either. It's messed up, but it is what it is. We just need to move on from here."

"I'd like that," he whispered.

"As friends," I added, firmly.

"Doesn't matter," he said, his eyes shining. "I'm just so happy to have you here, with me. I'll take whatever I can get."

I couldn't help grimacing, and suddenly felt self-conscious for holding his hand so intimately. Gently, I pulled my arm back and folded my hands on my lap. His smile remained, but he couldn't stop the disappointment from showing in his eyes. "That's not very fair to you, though. Edward, I don't want to be a source of pain for you."

He chuckled, shifting his gaze from his now-empty hand to my face. The sound warmed my heart. I didn't realize how much I'd missed it. "Bella, every single second I'm around you brings me the pain of thirst. Yet it's the most delicious pain I can imagine. I'm not about to trade it for the pain of not having you in my life."

Our teacher called the class to order, and Edward reluctantly turned to face the front of the room. I gaped at him for a moment, marveling in the transformation of his mood in just the few minutes we had talked. He seemed lighter, happy. If it were possible, he seemed even more beautiful. Alice had been right. I could see now that I was a vital piece to the quality of his existence.

I felt a twinge of guilt knowing that he had been hurting for days while I enforced my own, silly boycott…to punish him. To make him hurt the way I had hurt all those months ago. To taste a bit of misguided revenge. Remembering his tired, dejected appearance over the last week, I felt horrible that I was the cause of it. Edward had acted horribly, but my reaction had been immature.

I didn't want Edward to hurt. I loved him. Even if my love for Jacob eclipsed my love for Edward now, it didn't change the fact that I wanted the best for him. I was sad knowing that he would probably never love another person or vampire the way he loved me — a vampire's nature rarely changed, Edward had explained to me once. It didn't seem right that he would never have the happiness of eternal love.

I decided that I never wanted to see that pain in his eyes again. I would put my whole heart into being his friend, even if I didn't totally understand the intense link between us. I only hoped Jacob would understand why it was important for me to keep him in my life as a friend. I knew I would see him the next day…it was a conversation we had been avoiding for nearly two weeks.

Spanish flew by and I barely heard a word the teacher said. Before I realized it, Edward's musical voice was jarring me out of my reverie.

"Could I walk with you to lunch?"

I nodded and turned to collect my books, but noticed that he had already gathered them and held them out to me, a smile on his brightened face. "Thanks," I murmured, "I just need to stop by my locker first."

We took the path that we had walked together for months before he left. I couldn't help noticing the curious stares from our fellow students at the sight of us walking together. Before, we would have had our fingers laced together, Edward's lips and nose buried in my hair in an intimate embrace as we strolled. Now I clutched my books to my chest and Edward maintained a respectful four-inch distance between us, yet we still smiled at one another.

Reaching my locker, I spun the combination and opened the metal door. I just needed to swap out my books and grab my money. I turned to jokingly ask Edward what he would be having for lunch, but he was frozen, staring at my locker door.

I looked up to see what had affected him, and saw the photo of Jacob and I, that I had taped in place nearly a month earlier. We were in my room. Jacob had just woken up from a nap and I had been working on my homework. He had laughed that we were acting entirely too domestic and wanted a photo to document our lazy afternoon. So Jacob had turned the camera on us while we sat on my bed.

"Edward?"

He seemed to come out of his spell. "Oh, erm…it's nothing, Bella. It just surprised me seeing him in your room. You know, where I spent so much time…but it's fine. Everything's fine. It was just unexpected." Edward offered me a convincing smile that still couldn't entirely hide his hurt, and I moved to give him a comforting hug unconsciously. He carefully wrapped his arms around me and held me for the second time that day, his entire body relaxing. When I stepped back, he released me reluctantly.

My stomach gurgled and he laughed. "Lunch time for the human," he grinned, stepping aside so I could begin the walk to the cafeteria.

"Yeah, too bad you can't pack a mountain lion in a little brown paper sack or you could enjoy lunch too," I joked, while he groaned and rolled his eyes.

As we exited the lunch line after I had gathered my food — a turkey sandwich, banana and yogurt — Alice flitted to Edward's side, her face radiant. They stared at one another for a moment, communicating silently. Finally, Alice broke her gaze away from her brother and clutched my arm, pulling me to the side and grinning broadly.

"Bella," she squealed, "I haven't seen Edward this content since we your birthday party…thank you for taking my advice. You're going to be so glad to have his friendship."

I hated talking about Edward like he wasn't standing a few feet away, so I tried to wrap up the conversation by softly saying, "I always knew I'd let him back in my life, Alice. I…think I need him just as much as he needs me." Edward met my gaze and the corners of his mouth tugged upwards. "It's just going to be weird getting used to him as a friend when he's only ever been more."

The three of us walked over to our table, but Alice was not done with her chatter. "I can see the two of you figuring it out together. You're both very happy as friends, and something is wonderfully different from what it was before, but I can't see what that might be." She looked thoughtful as we reached our friends.

Edward sat on the other side of the table, across and down two spots from me. I gave him a grateful smile. He knew I didn't want to answer questions on the progression of our relationship, and put the attention spotlight on myself. Sitting next to him would have done just that.

The cafeteria felt much brighter as we all settled into our high school conversations. Edward remained silent, with a half-smile lightening his expression. I also kept out of the discussions around me, joining Edward in our comfortable stillness.

**

_Author's Note: I'm campaigning for a nomination in the Bellie Awards, which just opened up their twice-annual nominations last week. If you like my story, would you please consider nominating it in these categories?:_

_- Wolfpack Award_

_- Best "Edward who?" fic_

_To nominate LN&D, you have to give them the title, a link to the story, and my author name. _

_Here's a direct link to the nomination form: www(dot)thecatt(dot)net(slash)tw(slash)Nomination(dot)aspx_

_Thank you guys for your support. A nomination, especially considering how many amazing fics there are out there, would be overwhelming._


	23. Chapter 23 One Giant Leap

Jacob's Rabbit rolled into my driveway right after lunch on Saturday. The sun was high in the sky and the clouds were white and fluffy — a perfectly beautiful late April day. I came to the porch and saw him bounding excitedly across the yard, looking at that moment like the younger Jacob I had grown close to. I giggled as he swept me up in his giant arms and swung me around happily. My mood, already high because of the weather, became even brighter with Jacob's infectious enthusiasm.

"Today is just for us," he whispered, setting me down and kissing my ear. "No homework, no leeches…"

"Jake," I disliked his choice of words, but couldn't keep the grin off my face at his glee.

Charlie came to the doorway and coughed. My eyes darted to him but Jacob never released his hold around my waist. He tried to look stern, but was obviously pleased by my happy attitude. "What time are you going to be home, Bells? I know you have the morning shift at Newtons…"

"I'll probably have her back after dinner, Charlie," Jacob said. "Wouldn't want her to neglect her responsibilities!" He and my dad smirked at one another and I rolled my eyes at the two of them before Charlie turned to head back inside.

"Let's get going, Jake," I said, tugging his arm, eager to see what he had planned. Surprises from Jacob were the best surprises of all, and I couldn't wait.

"Hold on," he said. "You need to grab your swimsuit before we leave."

My eyes brightened even more. "My swimsuit?" Visions of natural hot springs danced in my head. "Be right back!" I dashed inside and up to my room. Pausing for a moment in front of the drawer where I kept my suits, I contemplated which one to bring before settling on a brown one-piece with a few gold embellishments. I liked the way it looked on my pale skin. I made a quick stop in the bathroom for some necessary supplies — my period was almost over, but I didn't want to risk anything in a swimsuit. Quickly, I pulled on the suit and my shorts and t-shirt and bounded down the stairs, excited for the day ahead. Practically skipping out the front door, I threw a quick, "Bye, Dad!" toward Charlie and leapt into Jacob's arms for another hug before we got into the Rabbit and took off.

"You're in a good mood," he observed as we made our way to La Push.

I smiled widely at him. "It's going to be a good day," I declared. "It's sunny, it's the weekend, and I'm here with you." I reached for his hand and he gave it a squeeze. "I love you, Jacob." His lips lifted in a smile of his own.

"I'm a lucky guy." He glanced over at me for a moment and tucked my hair behind my ear. His warm fingers trailed down my neck and arm and gathered my hand again. "I hope you have fun today. Wanna know what we're doing?" I nodded enthusiastically and he smirked, mischief alight in his dark brown eyes. "I'm not that easy, Bells. Information like this demands payment first." He leaned toward me and let go of my fingers to tap his cheek, asking for a kiss. I obliged and Jacob feigned a swoon. "Next time I'll ask for more," he declared, entwining his fingers in mine once again. "Anyway, about today…we're going to go cliff diving with some of the other guys and their girls." He was excited. "Sam thought it would be good for the morale of the pack to do something together. And you're part of us, Bells. Everyone will be so glad to see you. It's been too long since we've all been together."

A thrill of nerves shot down my spine at the thought of jumping from the La Push cliffs again. Last time hadn't gone very well. Jacob seemed to read the concern on my face.

"Bella…you'll be with me this time. I'll keep you safe. It will be fun…you'll see."

I took a deep, ragged breath and smiled back at him. "Let's do it."

***

Most of the pack were already gathered on the wide rock that made up the highest ledge of the reservation's jumping cliffs. I was surprised to see Emily and Kim, ready in their suits. I also saw Quil sitting off to the side, playing peek-a-boo with a toddler. A..._toddler_? The sight made me stop in my tracks and throw a questioning look to Jacob. His face reddened and he lowered his voice.

"Remember how Quil imprinted a few weeks ago?"

I nodded, peeking around Jacob's muscular form at the pretty little girl. "Does she have a child or something?"

He looked uncomfortable. "Not exactly." He pulled me back away from the crowd a few more feet. "We never dreamed this would happen," he muttered before saying, "The little girl is Claire. She's Quil's imprint."

My jaw dropped open and my stomach lurched. "What?" I half whispered, half hissed. "Jake, she's just a baby! That's…that's _sick_!"

Jacob shook his head vigorously. "No, you don't understand. It's not like that. She's his world, but it's not a romantic thing at all. I've seen inside his head…I know how it is for him."

"Not romantic?"

"No. Quil loves her, but he doesn't see her in that way. She's just a kid to him too. Just very, very special."

I was confused. "You mean that imprinting isn't necessarily a romantic connection?" Jacob shook his head, watching Quil "steal" Claire's nose while she squealed. I felt immediate, overwhelming relief. "Jake, that's great!"

"What?"

I couldn't stop the broad smile from stretching across my face. "All this time I've been worrying that you could imprint with someone, and that it would mean the end of us…and turns out that might not even be an issue!"

Jacob's face fell as I moved to hug him. "Bella," he started, holding me at arms' length. "Bella, we're not entirely sure how it will all play out. It might not be romantic now, because Claire doesn't need that from Quil. Right now he's like a big brother, a caretaker for her. But when she's older, that need might change and if it does, Quil will do anything for her."

I still didn't understand completely. "So, it's up to the imprint then?"

"In a way," he explained softly. "At least, that's what we think. But he will be her perfect match…and offers unwavering love and adoration. Why wouldn't she choose him in the end? It would be difficult to walk away from that devotion. He was made just for her, just as she was for him."

"Oh," I said simply. "I see." At that moment, Leah walked past us and my heart sank even more when I saw her eyes, fixed on Sam and Emily, and her sad frown. My day was quickly turning from a sunny, carefree experience to one filled with a familiar worry. "But you don't know for sure?"

"No," he admitted. "We never realized that one of us might imprint on a freakin' kid. I guess there's a lot to the imprinting impulse that we don't understand."

I didn't want that uncertainty to give me any inkling of hope. Instead, I glanced at Leah, sitting by herself off to the side, and fought back the tremble on my lip.

"Bells?" Jacob's voice broke me from my self-wallowing. "You okay?"

I wrapped my arms around his middle and pressed against him. I needed the contact, not wanting to ever let him go. "I have you, Jake," I said softly. "Of course I'm okay." He sensed my neediness and returned my embrace firmly.

A soft hand grabbed mine and tugged me away from Jacob's arms. It was Kim.

"Bella!" she exclaimed. "It's been too long!" I was surprised when she hugged me. Emily was right behind her, a grin brightening the unscarred side of her face. "I don't think I've seen you since the night the Cullens came back."

"Wow, that long, huh?" I said, amazed that she was right. Between the preparations for the battle and the tense emotional rollercoaster following Embry's death, I had not seen my Quileute friend in weeks.

"I missed you," she said, giving me another squeeze.

"I…I did too," I responded, meaning it. Jacob was right when he said that I was a part of them. Kim, and Emily behind her, felt like family…like sisters. My fellow wolf girls.

Paul was setting up some speakers in the hatch of his old station wagon. Some generic top-40 blared from them. Kim looked over my shoulder with a grin and I found myself whirled away again, this time in Jared's unfamiliar embrace. I gasped lightly as he wrapped his arm around my waist and shimmied me left and right. It took me a moment to realize he was trying to dance with me. Behind me, Kim's delighted laughter sounded in my ears. We continued our movement, but my two left feet made me look slightly ridiculous. I also felt awkward in Jared's arms.

"Let a real man show you how it's done," Jacob's husky voice was near my ear. He stole me from his friend, who, without missing a beat, grabbed his girlfriend's hand and pulled her in for some dancing of their own. I felt silly swaying with Jacob on top of a rocky cliff with all of his friends around — not only only because of the people around, but because I couldn't dance.

At least, I always thought I couldn't dance.

"You're driving me crazy with the way you're moving your hips," Jacob hissed with his lips on my earlobe. "So sexy…"

"Really?" I was genuinely surprised, but continued to try to feel the beat of the song and move accordingly.

"I didn't know you could dance." He pulled my hips closer to him and we moved together. Our legs fit like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and Jacob's massive frame tucked around me comfortably. It almost reminded me of how well we fit while making love. The thought made my cheeks glow red, but looking around at the other joyous couples, I realized that they were all having as much fun as me — this was an amusing, distracting thing to do.

I laughed suddenly, my discomfort melting away. I was dancing…and having fun. In my life journey of self-discovery, this was a breakthrough. I wrapped my arms around Jacob's neck and pressed against him, still swaying.

"I never knew I could dance either."

Jacob's laugh was throaty. "It's pretty fun, right? You just never had the right partner." My thoughts turned momentarily to my last dance partner. Edward had been a wonderful dancer, and we had fun moving together too, but it was different. Intense, and lacking the fun that I was having right now. Edward never could let himself relax and truly be unabashedly joyful. He was always so concentrated on not killing me.

Another song came on and a few of the couples stopped dancing to get ready for the plunge into the water. I wasn't ready to let Jacob go, so I clung tightly to him and raised my hands over my head, moving back and forth. I thought I heard him moan slightly in my ear, and suddenly I liked dancing even more.

"Bella," Jacob said suddenly, pulling me back enough to peer into my eyes, "The res prom is in three weeks…would you want to come with me?"

I gasped with wide eyes. My first instinct was to say no. I had always avoided school dances like the plague, and only went to my last prom because I was tricked into it. But Jacob's warm eyes were on me, and we were having such fun dancing, and I realized that no one was tricking me into anything this time. It was my choice.

"Of course, Jake," I said, reaching up to meet his lips. "I'd love to."

"Fantastic," he exclaimed, picking me up and twirling me while I shrieked gleefully in his ear. His fingers brushed the sensitive skin on my lower back as he recaptured my mouth against his and I giggled into his kiss. He grinned back and tickled me again as our embrace dissolved into muffled squeals and shouted laughter as we poked and teased each other. I noticed that several of the others were looking at us, and for once I didn't care. I pressed my mouth against the side of his neck and he stopped his twirling and set me down gently. "Now, I want to see you in that swimsuit," he smirked.

"Oh, go jump off a cliff, Jake," I grinned back, the earlier imprinting angst forgotten. The day had gotten much brighter all of a sudden.

***

The drop down to the ocean looked much farther than it had the last time I stood up on this cliff. For the last five minutes or so, the group of us had huddled up here, inching nearer and nearer to the edge, building our nerve. Well, the newcomers were building our nerve. The pack members were trying to convince us that it was safe, fun…that leaping from a rock and falling fifty feet was nothing at all. Jacob walked me to the edge so I could peer over the place where I had previously jumped with no hesitation. Although at that time, I was desperate and slightly foolish. Now I was just quaking with adrenaline.

I suppressed a full-body shudder and pressed against Jacob's side, uncertain. A few feet away from me, Kim was having a mild freak-out moment and Jared was trying to convince her that she'd be just fine. Emily also looked uncertain, clinging to Sam much more intently than usual as they stared over the edge into the waves below.

"You scared?" Jacob's voice was teasing in my ear, at the same time Kim's frantic protests reached new volume.

"I'm not a fucking _werewolf_, Jared. I don't spontaneously heal from shit, so leave me the hell alone!" The group snickered a bit while Jared pleaded with his girlfriend. She shook her head forcefully. "I'll go when I'm good and ready, and don't you fucking force me." I thought I heard her cough "asshole," but I wasn't sure. Her language made me blush slightly, but her lively attitude reminded me of Rosalie, and it was funny to see Jared being as whipped as Emmett. My two families had more in common than they realized.

The unattached pack members were starting to lose their patience with the rest of us. Brady sighed aloud and Seth paced. Paul became agitated, as usual.

"You pussies go ahead and wait for your girls, but I'm jumping," Paul declared, ripping his shirt off, which I was surprised was still on in the first place. Jacob tensed at the light insult, and I squeezed his hand and nodded at him when he gazed down at me. His eyes flickered with surprise, then understanding.

Before Paul could set his clothing down and make the jump, Jacob and I sprinted, hand-in-hand, to the edge of the cliff and leapt together, fingers grasping each other desperately. I screamed in fright and exhilaration as we plunged down into the grey, white-capped swells, never relinquishing our grip.

The water was shockingly cold compared to the relatively warm air. Once we were underwater, Jacob linked his arm around my waist and propelled us to the surface with powerful strokes. I clung to his warmth as we broke the surface, gasping and laughing. His arms circled me and held me tightly against his hot skin as his strong legs kicked to keep us afloat.

I wrapped my legs around him for leverage and was surprised when he responded with a forceful kiss. My surprise immediately faded to yearning, growing stronger when his hands slid under my bottom and his fingers grazed my folds through my suit. I wriggled a bit, seeking more friction, and Jacob moved his lips to my ear. The chilly water was no longer a factor — my skin flushed hot in the cool waves, especially when I felt his length press against my leg. I couldn't stop the soft cry that issued from my lips.

I whispered, "Oh, God…Jake…we can't," even though I wanted to throw all decorum out of the window and make love to him right there in the ocean, with no thought to who might see. "We can't," I cried again softly, but it sounded more like a cry of pleasure than an actual request to stop. "Not right now…but…oh, God...Jacob, mmm." My words gave way as my moan escaped my lips. I was losing my willpower quickly.

"Don't worry, Bells, I'm not going to do anything here," he growled back. "I know you don't like an audience, but God, I want you. I can't believe you jumped like that…it was…" He paused to nuzzle his hot nose and lips into my ear, sending chills of a different kind down my spine. "It was so fucking hot." I moaned again, quieter this time, at his profanity. He glanced behind me and began towing us toward the shore as yells and squeals told me that more people were jumping behind us.

"It's been so long," I murmured in his ear, clinging to his back as he shouldered the effort to get us ashore. I tried to concentrate on the chilly ocean water, allowing it to stifle the heat that I felt in my belly and legs. Besides, as much as I wanted him at that moment, I couldn't forget my current inconvenience. "But it's not a good time for that…uh…maybe in a few days…," All thoughts of sex and pleasure immediately fell away, and I was suddenly mortified for nearly blurting out my current menstrual situation to him.

He immediately understood and the moment became instantly embarrassing for both of us.

"Oh! Umm, I guess that's good, though…right?" He was, at that moment, the awkward novice I often forgot he was. I was glad that my front was facing his back as he swam, because neither of us could have born this conversation face-to-face. "I mean, I should probably know when that happens every month, anyway…that we can't…that you're not…" With disbelief, my ears heard him choke, "pregnant."

My breath hissed between my teeth. I didn't want to have this conversation, but it did remind me that I should probably go see a doctor sometime soon. Jacob and I had been careful, but I knew I should probably look into something more effective.

"Can we not talk about this?" I pleaded quietly as we reached the shore, embarrassed. Jacob wrapped me against his torso, blocking me from the wind that would be chilly on my wet skin. I rubbed my nose against the planes of his chest, darting my lips forward to press tiny kisses on his burning skin. He chuckled at my discomfort.

"It's so cute when you turn red like that," Jacob said through his smile, grinning more when I grimaced.

"Yeah, everyone's obsessed with my blush," I muttered, thinking back to afternoons at the Cullens' — Emmett sharing raunchy jokes to see how much color would rush to my cheeks, Edward admonishing him and Jasper fidgeting uncomfortably from the blood pooling in my face. The memory erased my grimace and I couldn't help smiling. "I think I'm hard-wired all wrong. I cry when I'm angry and I have a disproportionate amount of blood behind my cheeks. I'm a mess."

"Well, I think you're pretty awesome, beautiful." Jacob's voice lowered. "And even though I love it when you turn red, but I think I like it better when you're pink."

"Pink?" I didn't know what he meant.

He glanced behind him to see how far away his packmates were from us. Lowering his voice even more, he growled, "When we're together...when you come, your skin flushes pink all over. It's the most gorgeous color I've ever seen."

Again, I felt the heat in my cheeks and ears, and Jacob chuckled as he held me tighter and leaned down to kiss the fresh blush that now decorated my soft flesh.

***

Several hours later, the group of wolf-boys and their partners lounged on towels on the warm sand. I was incredibly comfortable, and perfectly tired from several jumps off the cliff. The April air was cool, but the sun shined hot with a rare absence of clouds. Plus, there was the added heat of Jacob's body, curled against my side as I soaked in the sunny rays.

Several other La Push teenagers had joined us on the beach, including Jacob's sister Rachel, who had finished a few major class projects and had a week off before final exams. Paul was laughing at Seth's awkward attempts to flirt with her, while Jacob rolled his eyes at the whole thing.

"Even if Seth weren't way too young for her, she was telling me and Dad all about this new guy she's seeing," Jacob muttered. "Sounds like a loser, but whatever."

I smirked. "You're a bit overprotective of your sister. I bet the new boyfriend is just fine…you're just a typical brother." Jacob grunted, and I had to laugh.

Our bellies were full of pizza provided by Sam — boxes littered the spaces between the drowsing couples, and occasionally a member of the pack would sit up and grab another slice.

Jacob's fingers grazed up and down my arm as he whispered funny little endearments in my ear, making me giggle and sigh. The moment was as close to bliss as I had ever experienced. I didn't notice the murmurings of the other couples scattered around — my eyes were only for the beautiful man next to me.

I rolled to my side to face him and reached up with one hand to run my fingers through his hair, rubbing his scalp. A soft thrumming sound emanated from his chest and he closed his eyes against my touch. "Love you," I whispered, leaning forward to kiss him quickly.

"Mmm, you too," his voice was husky and sleepy. He seemed ready for a nap.

A hum came from my folded clothes. _Damn phone_, I cursed internally. I had just gotten it a few weeks ago with some money from my job at Newton's, but it was already annoying me. The vibrations were consistent, and with a groan, I rolled away from Jacob's warmth and reached for it. _Alice. Of course._

"Hey Bella!" she chirped cheerfully. "I haven't been able to see you all afternoon, so I'm assuming you're with Jacob…"

"I am," I said, sounding more surly than I meant to.

"Oh, I didn't…did I interrupt something?"

"What? God…no, Alice…jeez," I hissed quietly, hearing the low titters of some of the pack members whose super hearing made this phone call anything but private.

"Oh, great," she said, barely pausing before she launched into her reason for calling. "Edward and I want to know if you can come for dinner tomorrow. We'll be feeding you, not the other way around, of course." She laughed at her own joke as Jacob tensed next to me.

I squeezed his hand. "That should be okay, Alice. Should I expect you guys at my house or do you want me to come over there?"

"Think your truck can make it?" I heard Edward call out with a laugh in the background as Alice shushed him.

"Hey, don't hate the truck," I said, knowing he would hear.

"You can drive," Alice said. "Is three okay? I need your help with something before dinner."

"Three's great…see you then."

I snapped the phone shut and turned to my boyfriend, who had relaxed a bit, but I could still tell was struggling. I kissed his temple. He still didn't budge. I knew it was time for the inevitable conversation I had been avoiding.

"Want to go talk?" He nodded and we stood together. I wrapped my towel around my shoulders but kept my feet bare, and we began a stroll down the beach.

Neither one of us talked as we put distance between ourselves and the group. I pressed against Jacob's side, holding his arm and warming my cheek against his skin. He sighed and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, holding me against his heat even more as we walked.

A familiar white piece of driftwood materialized in front of us. Our tree. We made our way to it and sat in total silence, as he waited for me to begin. I was nervous that he wouldn't understand, so I hesitated. Edward had always tried to control the situation when I made decisions he didn't like, and I prayed Jacob wouldn't do the same. Because I was sure he wouldn't like what I was about to say…

"I've decided something," I said, my voice sounding much more confident than I felt.

"Have you?" Jacob gritted his teeth, but his lips curled up in an amused grin.

I nodded. "It makes no sense for me to hold on to this anger toward Edward. He's a part of me…he was the first moment I laid eyes on him." Jacob's eyes flickered shut, and I reached out to grasp his hand. "I suppose I should thank him for hurting me the way he did."

"Why's that?" Jacob said, his voice strained.

I squeezed his hand. "If he never would have left, I don't think I ever would have opened my eyes to see what was right in front of me the whole time. I never would have truly seen _you_, Jake." Jacob seemed to relax, and I continued. "But now he's back, and I…no, _we_ can't ignore that. That's why I wanted to talk to you."

"Edward's never going to be out of our lives," he realized with a grim look etched on his face. "You don't want him to be."

Jacob's perception surprised me, and I could only confirm his words with a nod of my head.

"What do you expect me to say?" Jacob said, softly. "Do you think I'm going to tell you to stay away from him? Am I supposed to get jealous? Should I demand that you break all ties with him?" I sat, stunned, not knowing how to react. Jacob's face relaxed and he gathered my hand again from where it had dropped on my lap. "Tell me this, Bella…do you love me?"

My eyes flew to meet his. "Yes…of course I do, Jake! How could you think…" He shushed me.

"Are you in love with me?" His eyes searched mine for a hint of denial. Speechless, I nodded emphatically.

"Do you love Edward?"

I froze. I knew I had to answer in the affirmative, but I feared Jacob's response. I hoped he would understand.

"Yes."

Jacob shifted on the driftwood, looking slightly unsure as he steeled himself for his next question.

"Are you in love with him?"

I crouched off the stump and settled between Jacob's knees, enveloped in his warm limbs and gazing into his face. Firmly, I declared, "No. Not anymore. Not ever again. He'll only ever be a friend to me now." I pressed my face against his chest, reveling in the sound of Jacob's strong heart beating beneath my ear. "You're who I choose, Jake. You're the one I want to be with."

His strong arms suddenly encased me, holding me tighter against his beating heart, which had picked up the tempo. "Say that again," he whispered, begging me quietly.

"You're the one I want, Jake. Forever."

"Bella," his voice wavered as if he were crying, and he grasped my shoulders and pulled me up to him, meeting my lips with urgency. I pushed my swimsuit-clad figure against him, feeling acutely every spot where my bare skin met his. I was aware that we were out in the open, but I didn't care. I had made my declaration, and Jacob's response was worth it.

A soft cry issued from his lips as he tasted me. I responded with a low sigh and eagerly met his tongue with my own explorations.

"Again," he murmured warm, sweet breath against my skin.

"Only you, Jake…I only want you."


	24. Chapter 24 Baby Steps

"Come on, baby," I urged my truck, as it shuddered along the uneven path to the Cullen house. I would have to ask Rosalie to take a look at it.

I tried to calm my racing heartbeat, knowing that the minute I stepped in the doorway, every vampire in the house would know I was nervous. _Especially Jasper_, I groaned internally. _At least Edward can't read my mind_…

Edward and I hadn't spoken since our friendly breakthrough at school on Friday. It had felt so comfortable at the time, and I worried that the awkwardness would return. I felt like I was walking a precarious tightrope, and I was doing everything I could to keep my clumsy butt from falling. I wanted it all. I wanted Edward's friendship, along with the friendship of the other Cullens. I wanted Jacob's love. _I wanted too much_, I thought.

So much could go wrong. The Cullens and my La Push family were natural enemies. As much as they had forged an alliance, it was still a hesitant, forced relationship. Edward loved me, and I didn't want his desire for me to make a friendship with him impossible.

_And Jacob_…

The threat of imprinting still hung over our heads. Just yesterday, after Jacob and I had headed back to the group — still giddy from our revelations — I saw the power of imprinting firsthand. Collin, one of the 14-year old "babies" of the pack, had stood to throw away some pizza boxes and locked eyes with one of Rachel's friends, a 17-year old girl from the Makah reservation named Charity. The instant connection between the two of them was indescribable. Even as Charity laughed uncomfortably with her friends while Collin followed her around, it was hard to miss the strange warmth and affection in her gaze toward the younger boy.

To my surprise, Emily and Sam seemed very uncomfortable with this turn of events. They whispered and frowned and kept a constant eye on both Collin and Charity. However, whatever objection they had was put aside as Emily put her sympathetic educator face on. She waited until the crowd thinned before taking Charity and Collin aside, out of earshot, so Collin could have some time in private to try and explain the incomprehensible. I watched as Charity's eyes grew wide, shocked, scared. She made a half-hearted attempt to walk away before Collin's pleas stopped her in her tracks. I observed them closely. It was clear that Collin was enamored, but Charity seemed terrified of her immediate feelings for the younger teen. I tried not to stare, but couldn't help myself. Before Jacob and I left, I heard Charity pull Rachel away from Seth and Paul, who were still teasing and flirting with Jacob's big sister, and ask for a ride home. But, before she left, she paused in front of Collin and finally gave her overwhelmed werewolf a hug and a promise to call him the next day.

I was even more confused when Jacob seemed as agitated about this imprint as Sam and Emily. After he dropped me off at my house, with a quick kiss and a mumbled endearment, he hurried off with the excuse that he had to talk to Sam. It seemed important, so I assumed he'd tell me what was going on. Eventually.

The house came into sight amid the trees, while my truck coughed and protested. I parked in front of the garage and was startled when Rosalie appeared right outside of my window. Her eyes were excited, and it was the friendliest I'd seen her toward me.

"Bella," she said simply, opening the door for me and reaching down by my feet to pop the hood. Then she stepped back to give me a chance to climb out. "I'll have it running perfectly in an hour or so!"

I didn't entirely trust the brightness in her eyes. I knew she had been itching to get her manicured hands under the hood of the truck, to see what she could do with the classic engine.

"Just fix it, Rose," I pleaded. "No fancy stuff, please."

She just grinned at me and glanced over at the porch, where Emmett was waiting in the doorway, his arms folded across his massive chest. Walking to him, I heard a tinkling giggle from Rosalie.

I saw the rest of the Cullens waiting for me behind Emmett's bulky frame. Edward glared daggers at his brother's back, and I felt immediately wary of the gleeful expression on Emmett's dimpled face.

My fears were confirmed when he caught me up in a bear hug and his loud voice boomed, "Bella! You little vixen…seducing a werewolf in our living room? I always knew you had it in you!"

***

Esme had gracefully diffused the situation before the house suffered any damage. Emmett's well-intentioned teasing had not gone over well with Edward, who growled lowly at Emmett's words. But it had been Alice, snarling "Emmett, you idiot," who had crouched down in preparation for attack. Esme quickly suggested that Emmett help his wife with my truck, and Emmett, realizing he had gone a bit too far, obliged. He muttered a low, but sincere, apology on his way past me, and I smiled to let him know I had no hard feelings.

I was incredibly embarrassed, though. Edward distracted me quickly, asking if I wanted to go upstairs to the library with him. I agreed with enthusiasm and we made our way to my favorite room of the Cullen house. Carlisle and the rest of the family had amassed an impressive amount of literature over the centuries. Shelves and shelves of classics, countless medical texts, and even a small section on auto repair that Rosalie cherished. The large room smelled of aged parchment and leather covers, and I inhaled and hugged myself tightly. It was the first time I had been here since September.

Edward watched me with a small smile on his face. "Shall we?" he asked, walking over to the leather armchairs in the corner and taking a spot on the ground. I froze.

Back when we had been together, one of our favorite things to do was to spend the afternoon in the library. I would sit in a chair and Edward would sit between my knees with his head resting on my thigh. I would read a book aloud to him while running my fingers through his hair and rubbing his scalp. It was our quiet, shared tradition, and we both reveled in our mutual adoration of classic literature.

Now it seemed incredibly intimate. And incredibly inappropriate.

Edward, sensing my hesitation, leapt up with haste. "Oh, I apologize, Bella. I wasn't thinking. Of course we can't…um. Well, what would you like to do this afternoon?"

"We can still read together, Edward," I said softly, walking over to him and pushing him back until he sank into the chair behind him. "I'll just sit in this other chair across from you. Is that okay?"

Relief brightened his features. "That sounds wonderful."

I walked over to my favorite shelf and devoured the titles. Turning to face Edward, I asked, "What do you think...Hemingway today?"

He looked thoughtful. "No…not in the mood for tragedy. Maybe something lighter?"

Laughing, I ran my finger across the spine of a Bram Stoker classic. "Don't think you'd consider "Dracula," would you?"

"Bella, we have this conversation every time…" He was shaking his head, but smiling too, enjoying our private joke.

"Well, one of these days you'll give in." My eyes fell on a collection of short stories. "I don't want to have to think too much today…can we just read some O. Henry?"

Edward pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his stone arms around them, hugging himself tightly. "Sounds perfect."

I settled across from him, found the beginning of a story and began to read aloud.

***

I kept sneaking glances at Edward over the book. I had been reading for the last hour, and his amber eyes never once left my face. I felt distracted, feeling his gaze on my moving lips, the blush of my cheeks, my fingers as I turned the page carefully, to avoid papercuts. He stared at me as though nothing else existed in the room. The intensity of it had me a bit on edge. Every time he caught me glancing at him, the corners of his mouth jerked upwards in a small, pleased smile.

I was just finishing "The Ransom of Red Chief" when Alice appeared in the doorway.

"Edward, you've been hogging her attention entirely too long," she declared, pulling me to my feet. Edward's eyes darkened in annoyance momentarily before he sighed.

"Bella, I'm sorry for what you're about to endure," he said, his voice offering genuine sympathy. My eyes widened and I looked at Alice in alarm.

"Why? What are we doing?"

She grabbed my hand and towed me up to the room she shared with Jasper.

"I told you I needed your help," she declared dramatically. "Fork's prom is in three weeks and I can't decide between dresses. Jasper is 'coming home' from college to take me," she added with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "Alice, I have no clue which dress is best for you. This is your area of expertise, right? Wouldn't Rosalie be better at this than me?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Just humor me," she said.

I sighed, feeling defeated. "Okay, so how many dresses are you stuck on?"

"Twenty-three," Alice said ruefully, shaking her head. "It's a real dilemma."

"Twenty-three," I repeated numbly. "Of course…"

Luckily for me, Alice's vampire speed and agility made for fast changes. Dress after beautiful dress passed by my inspection, and Alice looked amazing in each one.

"There's no way I'll be this picky when I get mine," I muttered under my breath as Alice whirled to remove the ice-blue satin gown she was wearing and prepared to try on a red lacy number that looked more like lingerie on the rack than a prom dress.

Instantly, Alice was kneeling in front of me, practically nose-to-nose. "When you get yours?" she squealed, her golden eyes blazing in mad excitement. "Are you planning to go to a dance, Bella? Are you taking Jacob to our prom?"

"No," I said. "I'm going to the reservation prom with him."

Alice's lip immediately pushed out in a pout. "But…but then I won't get to see you in your dress. We won't get to dance together like girlfriends are supposed to at their senior proms. Do you think Jacob would reconsider, and come to Fork's prom instead? Ooh, we could double date!" she shrieked, jumping from one thought to the next quickly.

"Not likely," I chuckled softly, thinking of Jake and Jasper awkwardly standing next to each other in photos. "Besides, the res prom is on Friday and Fork's is the next night, when Jacob has patrol duty…he won't be able to go anyway."

"Won't Sam give him the night off if he asks?"

"It's not like that," I tried to explain. "It's not like they're being paid for this. I'm sure he could get the night off if he asked, but he won't. He's been assuming a lot more responsibility for the pack lately, almost like a 'co-manager' with Sam. And Saturday nights are when everyone wants the night off — most of them are teenagers, after all, and a lot of them have girlfriends. Jacob and Sam agreed to do every other Saturday night so the others don't have to. I think it's an Alpha/Beta thing," I shrugged, using the explanation Jacob had given me. "It wouldn't be fair to Sam or Emily to have them pick up the slack, and Jacob seems physically unable to do anything that would be against the well-being of the pack. They always have to come first." _Unless he imprinted_, I thought bitterly. _Then _she_ would always be first in his heart and mind._

Alice looked thoughtful for a moment, and then her eyes lit up.

"Oh my God, you could come to prom with _me_!" This possibility obviously appealed to her as she took on a maniacally happy visage.

I snorted. "Alice, I'm not going to be yours and Jasper's third wheel…and I'm not going with Edward, if that's what you're thinking."

"Oh, no…of course not," she said dismissively. "I don't think Edward's going to prom at all. He never participated in them before he met you, so…" I winced slightly at the reminder of Edward's century of loneliness. "And I don't have to go with Jasper…we could make it a girl's night. Jasper and I have been to more proms than I care to remember. This would be something totally different." Her tone changed as she grabbed my hands and pleaded. "Please, Bella? It would be so much fun!"

"I don't know, Alice…"

"Oh, please? You agreed to go with Jacob!"

I sighed. "That's because he didn't force me into it like you and Edward did last year."

The pout returned. "I'm not forcing you now. I'm asking."

"Aaaalice…" I whined.

Reluctant brown eyes met eager golden ones, and I realized I wouldn't be able to say no to her. As much as I wanted to resist her, I actually liked the idea of a girl's night with Alice.

Her eyes fogged over in a vision and she crowed with happiness. "Oh, it's going to be so much fun!" she cried, throwing her cold arms around me and squeezing me a bit too tightly. "We have to find your dresses!"

"Dresses?"

Alice became deadly serious as she regarded me. "My dear Isabella…you don't honestly think I'm going to allow you to wear the same dress to both proms, do you?"

"Aaaalice…"

***

Edward saved me from Alice's preening nearly an hour later, suggesting that we go help Esme finish my dinner. I was only too happy to oblige, leaping up from the pile of silk, satin and tulle surrounding me and rushing to his side. My eagerness seemed to please him quite a bit, for his face stretched in a broad smile, making him look more like the 17-year old man than the century-old vampire.

"It's taking her a bit longer than she thought," Edward explained, "and she's insisting that you have to have dessert, too."

"Dessert? What all is she making for me?"

Turning the corner into the kitchen, I noticed three things right away. First, the kitchen island had been replaced since the incident with Edward. Second, Esme looked incredibly flustered. Third, the kitchen was a mess. As we entered the room, Esme looked at me, stricken. Behind her, a small TV was turned to the Food Network.

"I think dinner will be a few more minutes," she said, turning back to regard a large pile of soiled dishes.

"Esme!" I exclaimed, "You don't have to do all of this!"

She dropped her head, and the large scar on her cheek glistened in the bright kitchen lights. "I wanted to take care of you, Bella. You're like a daughter to me, and I always take care of my children. You just have…special needs that I'm not used to."

From the living room, I heard Jasper snort. "Yeah, Bella's our 'special needs' sister!" he shouted.

Ignoring Jasper's bad joke, I walked to Esme's side while Edward regarded us both with warmth in his eyes. "Esme, you take wonderful care of all of us," I reassured her. "But next time ask for my help. Half the fun is doing this together…I love having a cooking partner!"

"How about making it a team?" Edward asked, coming up to the other side of the kitchen table and leaning over it slightly.

I grinned at him. "I'm not used to seeing a man do anything helpful or successful in the kitchen," I teased. "What makes you think you'd be any different?"

He grabbed a dishrag and the soap to start on the pile of dishes. "Because, my dear," he smirked. "I'm not a man…I'm a vampire."

An hour and a half later, the three of us had made a gorgeous dinner — steamed clams in a white wine sauce with vermicelli, salad and garlic bread. Edward prepared the bread, and made Esme and me laugh by yelling, "No! The garlic…it burns!" and feigning collapse — I couldn't recall ever seeing him be so silly. Alice heard us laughing and came to join our conversation.

I'd never had clams with pasta while they were still in the shell, and was excited to expand my palate. We had even managed to make homemade cannolis. There would be plenty of leftovers for me to take home.

"Make sure to share some with Jacob," Esme said warmly. "I do hope he likes it too."

I looked over to Edward in alarm, wondering what his reaction would be. He just looked at me, seeming to war with himself over something. Then he shocked me by adding: "Maybe next time he can come over with you. I'd…I would like to get to know him better." He smiled weakly at me as Alice clapped her hands and beamed. "It only makes sense to try and earn his friendship when I value yours so much."

Esme and I gaped at him, but he ignored our stares and started scooping food onto my plate. I turned my head quickly to fight back the emotions that overwhelmed at his words. He had set the plate down and was looking at me with concern.

"Are you okay, Bella?"

I sniffed. "Yes, Edward. I'm actually great. It's just…you don't know how much that means to me."

The concern on his face relaxed. He held my plate out to me and chuckled. "Actually, I think I do. And it makes me happy to make you happy. That's all I want, Bella. I love you and want you to be in my life."

My face grew hot at his words, wondering if there were flirtatious reasons for him to be so sweet and understanding — if he was using subtle ways to draw me in. But when I saw him standing in front of me, holding the food for me, I only saw complete sincerity in his gaze. Esme and Alice's eyes flickered back and forth between the two of us as we silently regarded each other. A surge of happiness blossomed in my chest and I couldn't stop the choking laugh/sob from escaping.

I closed the few feet between us quickly, taking the plate from him and setting it down before throwing my arms around his granite frame. He froze for a second before gently reciprocating the hug. I couldn't see his face, but I could feel the need in his embrace, and so I squeezed harder. We held each other for several moments.

"I really appreciate you, Edward. And you know I'll always love you, too…as much as things have changed, that never will." I laughed over his shoulder, enjoying the hug. "This isn't nearly as awkward as I thought it would be."

The words had barely left my mouth when I felt Edward turn his head toward my neck. His arms around me tightened slightly and I felt his nose ghost against my pulse point as he inhaled deeply. Something was wrong. It felt entirely too intimate, and I began to pull back a bit. The arms squeezed harder. A low, rolling vibration tickled my ear. With a jolt, I realized he was growling at the same time the side of my body was slammed roughly to the side amid the tumult of several crashes.

My eyes flew open and I cried out a startled, wheezing "ooof!"

Esme held me in her arms on the other side of the kitchen while Alice held Edward back with her petite frame. Edward seemed angry, and yelled at his sister.

"Get off me, Alice. I wasn't losing control, I swear."

Jasper peeked his head into the kitchen and gave Alice the once-over. Satisfied that she was unharmed, he chuckled. "Edward's telling the truth. I could feel it. He wasn't thirsty — he didn't want her blood..."

"Jasper…" Edward's voice sounded like a warning.

Esme's grip on me loosened. "Oh, thank goodness."

Jasper laughed again and Edward glared at him. "No, Edward wasn't going to bite Bella…he was going to kiss her."

"Kiss me?" I said incredulously. "Oh. _Oh_. Edward…" I looked up to meet his eyes, but his gaze was to the floor. He looked ashamed, guilty for his weakness.

"Sorry," he whispered. "Your heartbeat overwhelmed me. I…I'm trying…I really am." And before I could respond, he was already outside, running away faster than my eyes could see.

I stared at the place where he had been standing. Alice flitted to my side and took my arm, concern written on her face.

"Bella? Are you alright?"

I continued to stare at the spot where he had been only moments before. I was unsure how to react, and embarrassed when a few tears spilled down my cheeks.

"Oh Bella," Esme sounded sad, and her gaze darted from my face to the door where Edward had disappeared.

"It's okay…I'm okay," I stammered, feeling anything but. I swiped at my tears furiously, wishing the whole family would stop staring at me with pity. I was so disappointed. It seemed like Edward and I were making real progress, and now I feared we were back at square one. "God, can I do anything but cry?" I hissed, forcing myself to laugh.

I felt a strange sense of numbing relief and looked up to see Jasper leaning in the doorway, smiling at me sympathetically. Usually, I didn't like it when he manipulated my emotions, but for once I was glad. Taking a shaky breath, I smiled back at him and looked around at Esme and Alice. Emmett and Rosalie had come in from the garage and were trying to remain inconspicuous in the background.

"So what now?" I asked them. "Is he going to run away for another few months?" My disappointment was slowly turning into frustration. I turned to Esme. "Doesn't he know that I want to work on this? _I'm_ not going to run away."

"We know that," Esme said sympathetically. "But Edward has never experienced love and loss. He may be 107 years old, Bella…but he's also a 17-year old boy, especially when it comes to relationships that aren't familial. He doesn't know what to do."

Alice added, "Just think of how some of the boys at school act around girls. I bet Eric Yorkie has more experience with girls than Edward!"

"I wish he trusted me enough to work with me on this," I said sadly, taking a seat at the island and pulling the plate over in front of me. "It's just like it was in September. He left rather than stick around and work through our problems. He's taking the decision out of my hands."

"Except this time, he'll be back," Alice said, taking the seat next to me. "Trust me."

I chuckled softly and grabbed the napkin, laying it gently on my lap. "I know better than to bet against you, Alice."

***

_Author's Note: If you like this story, come visit us on the forum at Twilighted, in the "New Moon" section. Also, you can follow me on Twitter EllaB_twilight_

_Reviews are much-appreciated! Let me know what you like about this story, suggestions you may have, ANYTHING. I really love hearing from my readers._


	25. Chapter 25 A Twist of Fate

Wednesday night, I sat at the kitchen table, finishing my homework. The end of my senior year was looming, and with it came a few larger research projects and papers. Normally, I would have no problem with the work, but I was having trouble concentrating. Occasionally, I glanced at the empty chair across from me and sighed heavily.

To say I was frustrated would be minimizing what I really felt.

Interaction with Edward had gone back to awkward. I had tried to approach him several times at school on Monday, but he always seemed to disappear before I could reach his side. The sun had taunted me for the last two days, keeping both Edward and Alice from school.

Even worse than the Edward situation was the Jacob situation.

My boyfriend seemed to be avoiding me since we our beach date on Saturday. He had stopped by on Monday, but left after only a few minutes. Jacob had seemed frustrated, but every time I asked him what was wrong, he scowled and became more perturbed. He also avoided the question every time. I started to get upset too, and this made Jacob even more angry. I was close to tears by the time Jacob left, pulling at his hair and swearing. He didn't even give me a kiss goodbye. I was left wondering what was going on.

Since then, every time I called, he was with Sam. I didn't know if they were angry with me for spending the entire afternoon with the Cullens or if there was something more grim brewing, but one thing was clear.

Something was not right, and it scared me.

I had a sneaking suspicion that it involved the imprinting of Collin on Charity. I had never seen Sam so rattled, and even Jacob looked blown away when the young man had forever tied himself to the pretty 17-year old girl. I didn't understand the concern, especially when everyone had seemed fairly excited for Quil when he imprinted on a mere child. But then, I wasn't a wolf…and I wasn't an imprint.

In the deepest recesses of my mind, I feared the worst. I worried that, during the last few days when he had been distant, Jacob had finally imprinted with someone else. The fear was always there that I would be shoved out of his mind and heart in an instant of fate. I tried to convince myself that I was being silly, but I just couldn't find another possible reason for the sudden distance. After all, he hadn't been so aloof with me since the first days after he phased and Sam had enacted a gag order.

All of this had weighed heavier and heavier on my mind during the last few days, more weight piling on with every unanswered phone call. I was having trouble sleeping, staying awake and gazing blankly at the alarm clock, listening for the sound of Jacob at my window. He never came.

Studying was becoming even harder than sleeping. After staring at the same sentence in my textbook for five minutes without it registering in my brain, I finally pushed the notebooks away angrily. I glanced at the clock.

_8:15 p.m._

Jacob should be home.

I walked into the living room where Charlie sat, watching television. He rolled his eyes as I reached for my cell phone, charging on the end table. I couldn't resist sticking my tongue out at him, wishing he and Billy would mind their own business when it came to me and Jacob. I had a feeling they had been gossiping like two women the last few days.

I took the phone up to my room for some privacy, should he actually answer. My fingers flew over the buttons on the phone, and I prayed someone would pick up.

_Ring._

I licked my lips nervously.

_Ring._

My eyes squeezed shut in anticipation of someone answering.

_Ring._

My palms began to sweat.

_Ring._

After a few more moments, I knew that no one was going to pick up. I threw the phone on my bed in frustration and flopped down on my comforter, covering my eyes. I felt completely cut off from Jacob, from my family in La Push. There was no one I could talk to…

"Emily!" I blurted aloud, sitting up suddenly, my eyes wide.

Of course! Why hadn't I thought to call her before now? Eagerly, I grabbed my phone, fumbling with it in my excitement. I found Sam's number in my contacts and said a little prayer as I pressed to call. The phone barely rang when Emily's voice broke through.

"Hello?"

"Emily!" My voice couldn't hide my immense relief at actual contact with my La Push family.

Emily's voice, however, sounded immediately nervous. "Bella? Oh, hey…uh, what's going on? I didn't expect you to call."

I paused, my heart sinking. I could hear her hesitation and feared that I had reached another dead end.

"Emily?" I tried again, sounding sad. "Please…I need to know what's going on."

A heavy sigh came from her end of the line, so I tried again.

"I'm going crazy over here," I begged quietly. "I just need some answers…"

Emily's perturbed tone surprised me. "I told Sam this would happen…" she muttered, more to herself than to me.

My palms immediately grew sweaty and I fought back the panic. "Emily, please!"

Suddenly, Emily sounded clear and sure. "Bella, you deserve to know what's going on. Sam thinks that because you're not an imprint, that you aren't supposed to be privy to all of the pack secrets…" She paused while my heart plummeted at the word "secrets."

"Please," I whispered, pleading.

"Sam may be my fiancé, but he isn't my Alpha," Emily said firmly. "I won't let them keep you in the dark." Momentary relief flooded me before I prepared myself for what she was about to tell me. "Bella, the pack has been meeting for the last few days with some of the tribal leadership. They've also been meeting with me and Kim and Charity. It's taking up a lot of their time, and Sam's ordered everyone not to discuss it with outsiders."

I exhaled, comforted, even though I felt a slight pang that I was included as an "outsider." "So Jacob didn't imprint with anyone? He's still…I mean…we're still…" My voice trailed off as my breath began to hitch.

"Oh, Bella," Emily said sympathetically. "Jacob hasn't imprinted. He loves you so much. Only you."

I heard her words and it was like a weight lifted. The floodgates opened without warning, and months' worth of worry poured out.

"But…I feel the same way, but it feels like there's this weight over our heads." I sobbed openly.

"Shh…Bella," Emily tried to soothe me over the line.

"Are we insane? Why are we setting ourselves up for so much pain?" I asked the question, even though I already knew the answer. "Why are we allowing ourselves to get so close to one another, if it could all just end because of a twist of fate? Some random girl could come in and take away everything I love?"

Emily was silent as I cried, and it took me a moment to realize why. When I did, I was immediately stricken. Emily had been that random girl. Sam's twist of fate had resulted in Leah's broken heart and Emily's gain.

I sniffled and tried to compose myself. "Oh…oh Emily, I didn't mean…"

"No, it's okay, Bella," Emily spoke softly. "I think I understand the situation more than you could even realize. I have to live with the fact that I was the reason my cousin lost everything. And I have to look into Sam's eyes and see the pain that lives behind the love for me." Her voice steeled. "But that doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you."

"I just miss him so much," I told her. "Whatever's going on, I want to try to work it out with him as best we can."

"If it helps, I know that Jacob _wants_ to see you. He hates that all of this is driving a wedge between you…" She began muttering on the other end, and all I caught was "silly," "Sam" and "order."

"It's okay," I said. "Just knowing that Jacob wasn't staying away because he wanted to…that's all I wanted to hear. It's been…_difficult_ being kept in the dark. You guys are all important to me, and I hate feeling shut out. I'm glad you were home, Emily."

"Don't worry, Bella," she said, just before we said our goodbyes. "I'm going to make this right."

***

It was nearly eleven before I got into bed. Slightly reassured by the phone call from Emily, I caught up on my homework while I was able to concentrate and then took a long, warm shower. Still wide awake, I devoured a few chapters of "Emma" before finally turning out my light. I tried not to think about Jacob and what he might be doing, since it would only frustrate me.

A muffled sound woke me. It felt like I had just drifted off, but when I glanced at my alarm clock, it was nearly one in the morning. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and made my way sleepily to the window, almost out of habit. All drowsiness fell away when I saw Jacob standing in my yard, looking up at my room. His face lit up when he saw me in the window.

As quickly but quietly as possible, I threw my window open and stood back so he could scramble up. I barely waited for him to be securely in the room before I threw myself at him, wrapping myself around him tightly, reveling in the warmth of his skin, the smell of his hair, the soothing rumble of his voice. It was like I was experiencing him for the first time all over again. The pores of my skin drank in his very essence.

He held me back just as intensely, whispering "Bella…oh, God…Bella."

I wanted to kiss him, touch him, but I didn't want to pull away from the embrace because that would again put distance between us, even if it were mere inches. Instead, I just hissed frantic, hushed words to him.

"Don't ever stay away from me like that again," I said fiercely, my fingertips raking across his strong shoulders and my legs tightening even more around his waist. "I can't take it when you're not here."

His arms tightened as well, as if he were trying to meld us together into one body. "Never," he promised. "Never again, I swear. I had no choice."

"Sam?"

"Yeah," he said softly. "Emily got him to lift the edict he placed on the rest of us."

We finally broke apart to meet each other's gaze for the first time. Jacob's eyes were shining as he looked at me, and I was struck by the love and excitement I saw there. He seemed to hold the gaze longer than usual, looking at me with intensity and studying every detail of my face. I was less patient and moved in. Closing the little distance between our lips, we met in the middle. I sighed in relief as his soft lips covered mine. It was like being home again.

It took us several more minutes of gasping breaths and quiet murmurs to cease the kisses and embraces. Never putting me down, Jacob carried me over to my bed and sat on the edge, with me still on his lap. My mind was awhirl with excitement and desire, but I had to calm myself so I could hear what Jacob had to say. I was intensely curious about what had been going on in La Push. I was angry with Sam, but that would have to wait.

Jacob kept looking at me meaningfully, as though he were looking for something or expecting me to say or do something. After a moment, his eyes lost a fraction of their luminescence and he sighed.

I couldn't stand the suspense anymore and blurted, "You have to tell me what's going on!"

"So, something's happened," Jacob began, tentatively. "And before I tell you what it is, I want to make sure you don't get your hopes up or you don't get overly worried, because a lot of this is still unknown."

My eyes widened and I felt a thrill of fear and nervousness. This _WAS_ big. "I can't promise that because I don't know what it is…but I'll try not to overreact." My hands, which had settled on his biceps, gave a small squeeze as if to say, "continue."

He offered a small smile. "Well, you know that Collin imprinted when we were at the beach on Saturday?"

"Uh-huh," I nodded, "On Charity." My mind replayed the moment I saw the young man's expression as he regarded his imprint, as if she were a priceless work of art or the most glorious sunset. That immediate adoration was something to be coveted. I was more jealous than I could even admit to myself.

"Well, his imprinting changed a few things about what we understand about the whole impulse. Actually, we're understanding less and less as time goes on."

My brow furrowed, puzzled.

Jacob continued. "That moment on the beach was not the first time Collin had seen Charity since he phased." He paused, letting the realization of his words sink in. I gave a strangled gasp, my hand flying up to my head.

"Holy crow!"

Jacob chuckled and went on. "He first phased nearly two months ago, but he sees Charity all the time — as recently as two weeks ago, in fact. She might be my sister's friend, but she's also a good friend of Collin's older sister."

My voice was shaking. "So...that means...?"

"We think it means that we can imprint on someone at any time...not just the first time after we've phased. But we're not sure how or why it was so different for Collin. But however it happened, it was good timing. Charity had just been dumped by her boyfriend, so she's much more receptive to the imprint than we expected. I think the idea of 'lifetime commitment' appeals to her after having her heart broken."

"Yeah, I can see the appeal in that kind of devotion," I murmured quietly, almost to myself. My mind was whirling, and hope bubbled up in me as I contemplated the news.

Jacob eyed me cautiously. "What are you thinking, Bells?"

A smile spread across my face and I couldn't contain the excitement in my voice. "I'm thinking that I have to know _everything_! What made the moment at the beach so different from those other times? What was the significance? Why _that_ moment?" As I asked the questions, I also rejoiced inside and wondered what I might be able to do to influence Jacob's imprinting impulse my way. There was still a chance that I could imprint with Jake!

And as that thought kept a wide smile on my face, another, more ominous idea bubbled up in my mind and immediately wiped the smile away.

Now, instead of worrying about Jacob meeting a new girl he could imprint on, I had to worry about _every_ girl…even the ones he already knew.

Jacob saw my warring emotions in my expression and placed a hand on the side of my face, his thumb stroking my cheek.

"We don't know what the driving force was," he explained. "We've talked to everyone — the tribal elders, the pack members who have imprinted, the women they've imprinted on — and all we can really agree on is that there are a lot more unknowns than we thought at first."

My eyes dropped as I contemplated all that this might mean for Jacob and me. I was angry that the ever-present uncertainty still hung over our relationship, but I couldn't deny the hope that flickered in my heart.

Jacob offered a solution before I had even finished my internal debate.

"But you can be sure of one thing," Jacob said intensely, "I'm not letting you out of my sight any more than I can help it. I'm going to stare at you every moment of every day if I can, because we never know when the moment might be right. Bella, I'm going to study every hair on your head and every freckle on your skin."

I blushed at his passion and looked down.

His strong hand pushed my chin back up until we were practically nose-to-nose, and I noticed his eyes glistening with moisture. "Don't look away from me any more, Bella. I couldn't stand it if we looked away for a moment and that was the second when I could have imprinted with you."

"Jake…"

"I love you," he declared firmly, his eyes releasing a single tear that shone bright against his dusky skin on its journey down his cheek. "And I've already decided that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I just need fate to agree."

My voice was weaker this time, overwhelmed. "Oh, Jake…" I trembled as I fisted my hands in his soft hair and pressed my nose against his. We eased back on my bed, never breaking eye contact for a moment, afraid to look away even to see where we were laying. We settled on our sides, my hands cradling his head and his arms around my waist. Our irises and pupils darted in small movements as we consumed each other with our eyes, taking in the small details that we may have taken for granted on any other day. _Looking_. Searching for something that we didn't yet understand.

Jacob had two very small, dark brown beauty spots near his temple that I had never noticed before. He had a miniscule scar on his chin, just below and to the right of his full lip. His lower lashes were nearly as thick as his beautiful upper ones. He had shaved recently, and missed three hairs on the gentle groove between his nose and upper lip. His dark brown eyes had flecks of lighter mocha.

"How did you get that scar near the side of your mouth?" his question broke the silence.

"Gym class accident in the third grade," I said softly. "How did you get that scar on your chin?"

"Chicken pox," he replied, looking up past my eyes at my hairline. "I never realized how beautiful your widow's peak is…it makes your face look like a heart."

"You have a few freckles," I observed, touching his beauty spots gently with my fingers.

"Your lips are perfect," he whispered. "I want to kiss them."

"Why don't you?" I whispered back.

"I don't want to close my eyes and miss a second of seeing you."

"I'm right here, Jake. I'm not going anywhere."

Our lips touched tenderly, and our eyes remained open the entire time.

***

Several hours later, the first hints of sun peeked into my window. I knew that I would have a hard time at school because I hadn't slept, but I didn't care. All I cared about was that Charlie would be awake soon, and that meant that Jacob had to leave. The very thought of him leaving my sight terrified me in a way I couldn't explain.

Jacob seemed resigned to the fact that we would have to part. When the birds started chirping louder in the early morning light, he sighed deeply, letting his sweet breath wash over me, and sat up slowly. I mimicked his movements, moving so our faces were mere inches apart. His eyes broke from my gaze for the first time in hours, to look out the window at the traitorous sun. Without a word, he stood to make his way to the window.

"Jacob," I pleaded, grabbing his hand and holding it tightly in panic. "I can't…"

Quickly, he moved to gather me into his arms, his warmth soothing me. "Shh…it's okay, Bells." My body began to shake against him. "I'll be around so much, you're going to get sick of me."

"Impossible!" I managed to squeak out between hiccups.

"Besides, I plan to keep my eyes closed any time a female comes within ten feet of me, I promise." His impossible pledge made me smile despite my worry. "In the meantime, we both owe Emily a huge thank-you for getting Sam to lift the gag order."

"Why would he make you keep this from me?" I asked, feeling hurt. "Doesn't he understand…"

"No, he doesn't," Jacob said gently. "He can see into my mind, but he can't see into my heart. He forgets how it was for him and Leah, how it can be even without the power of the imprint. I think he minimizes our relationship sometimes because of that."

"But Emily…"

"Emily understands more than he ever could. It's just her nature, I think," Jacob shrugged. "She's a great ally for us." He paused for a moment. "But there's another reason he didn't want you to know."

I knew where he was going and my mouth set in a grim line.

"The Cullens," Jacob said simply. "Now, I understand your relationship to the Cullens, but most of the pack can't and won't. We may have a treaty, and we may be sometime-allies, but to most of the guys, they're still just filthy bloodsuckers."

I sucked in a deep breath, feeling as though I had been punched in the stomach.

"Sam thought that it was dangerous to let you know, because you might tell them." I began to retort, but Jacob stopped me with a gentle squeeze. "Let me explain his rationale. He thought that if word got out that we were so unclear on this one, single aspect of our makeup, that it might make us seem weaker in other areas. If we're not sure about this one thing, what other parts of our existence are iffy?"

"But that's just…"

"Silly…I know," he finished for me. "Emily told him that…hell, the elders told him that!"

"The elders? This…you and me…it was discussed with the tribal leadership?" My face burned.

He smiled and moved to stroke my now-red cheeks with his thumb. "For the record, they're totally rooting for us, Bella."

A muffled sound from the hall let us know that Charlie was awake. Stricken with the realization that we were about to be parted, I clung to Jacob for one more precious second as we stared at one another. He choked, "I love you," and then he was gone, with a slight rustling of the curtains next to my open window as the only sign of his exit.

***

_Author's Note: I just wanted to remind everyone again that nominations for the Indie TwiFic Awards open in one week, on January 18. Like Night and Day fits in perfectly with these awards and many of the categories this year: "Best New Moon story" and "WIP Canon or AU Story that Knocks You off your Feet." If you feel that this story is worthy, please consider nominating me! If you do, please message me to let me know, so I know whom to thank._

_Your reviews make me grin from ear to ear, and I thank you for them! In your reviews for this chapter, please let me know who your favorite "background" character in this story is. I know I adore my Jacob, and I like that my Bella has a backbone, but I want to know who else you like!_


	26. Chapter 26 Breaking Point

Over the next two weeks, Jacob kept his promise to remain close to me. I felt slightly guilty for the amount of time he was devoting to me, but he assured me over and over that he wasn't doing anything he didn't want to.

He spent every night in my room, leaving just before dawn to run home and shower before showing up again to take me to school. He stayed by my side until my homeroom bell, then rushed to the Res school. He was always late for his first class.

When my final period let out, Jacob was always waiting for me, skipping his last class to be there when I exited the school for the parking lot. And all of the time he waited for me, he kept his eyes to the ground, scared to look up at any of the passing girls.

I was so consumed by Jacob, that my only distraction was noticing Edward's uncertain manner toward me at school. He still had not forgiven himself for his moment of weakness at his home. Like before, he kept a small distance between the two of us, keeping contact and conversation at a minimum, and for this I was slightly relieved — it allowed me to devote my attention to the imprinting situation. Yet, this delay in addressing our issues still made me uneasy. I felt guilty for not approaching him when he obviously was on his best behavior. But I just couldn't allocate the energy on repairing my fragile friendship with him while I was singularly focused on my werewolf.

The possibility for imprinting was becoming an unhealthy obsession for both Jacob and me. Neither of us were sleeping much — we fought the darkness of sleep, when we might close our eyes and miss out on precious seconds regarding one another's faces. Jacob was failing several of his classes and I had even allowed my schoolwork to slip. I had called in sick at Newton's four out of my last six scheduled shifts. Mike had gently warned me that his parents were questioning whether I should remain as an employee. I should have cared, but I didn't. I never spent any significant time with anyone else, even Charlie.

Charlie was more observant than I realized, and voiced his concern on several occasions. He forced me to adhere to an earlier bedtime and even attempted to take over the cooking responsibilities on some nights, but he didn't understand the reasons for my lack of energy and general gloominess. He even expressed his thoughts that Edward was somehow to blame. The entire mood of the house reminded me of those difficult months following Edward's departure, and I'm sure Charlie felt the same way.

Edward was certainly not at fault. In fact, he seemed distressed every time he saw me, watching with concern as my eyes grew more tired and my head hung lower with each passing day, and Alice looked anxious every time she saw me. Edward even braved our tentative distance to ask me if Jacob and I were both okay, and while I was touched by the selflessness I read in his expression, I couldn't bring myself to confide in him. For sanity's sake I wished I _could_ have shared the situation with one of them, either Alice or Edward, but I felt a loyalty to Jacob's brothers to keep their imprinting secret, especially when they had worried so much about the Cullens learning it.

Finally, one day when I nodded off while leaning against my locker talking to Alice and Angela, with Edward hovering in the background far enough for us both to be comfortable, Alice called me out on my mood.

"This is insane, Bella! Something is wrong, and you need to tell me what it is!" She and Angela both looked concerned, and I felt Edward's worried gaze on me too.

I rubbed my eyes and turned to get my books for my next class. "Nothing's wrong, Alice. I'm just tired." I felt a pang of guilt for lying to her. I didn't doubt she would be nothing but supportive if she knew, but I couldn't betray Jacob like that.

"Yeah, no kidding," she said sarcastically. "You've been a zombie for over a week. You're not acting like yourself."

"What do you mean?" I feigned surprise and plastered a smile on my face. "I've been busy…I've been seeing Jacob a lot lately."

"I've noticed." Her golden eyes searched mine. "You swear that everything's okay?"

"Absolutely," I fibbed. "I'm actually off of work this Thursday and Friday night, and I think I'm just going to have a quiet night at home and catch up on sleep. And then I'll just enjoy a lazy Friday night too." I hoped this would get them off my back.

Instead, it backfired in a big way.

"That's actually perfect, Bella!" Angela enthused, glancing at Alice with a small smile. "We were hoping you could come shopping with us on Friday…Jessica and Katie are probably coming too."

My forced smile froze on my face and panic filled me. "Shopping? I…I can't go shopping! I mean, I don't…need anything."

"Yes you do," Alice sounded exasperated. "Prom is next weekend. Do you have your dresses?"

"Dress, Alice…singular," I corrected.

"Whatever…" she dismissed my comment with a wave. "You don't have one yet, do you?"

I sighed, knowing I had backed myself into a corner. "No."

"Me neither," Angela sounded excited. "Alice said she had hers, but she wants to come and give us her opinion. Besides, I think you could use a girl's night."

"Think that would be okay with your boyfriend?" I was surprised to hear the resentment in Alice's voice, and my face darkened in anger.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped.

"Just that he's monopolizing your time, Bella! You always made time for your friends before…"

Quickly, Edward was at my side, glaring at his sister. "Back off, Alice…"

Alice gestured at me exasperatedly. "Well, something's going on, and for some reason, Bella doesn't trust me enough to tell me!"

"Hey, guys…I'm right here," I said, sarcastically.

Edward turned to me, and my heart nearly broke when I saw his flustered expression. "Bella, I…we're just worried about you." He reached up, and before both of us realized it, stroked his icy finger across the ever-darkening area under my eyes. "I know you'd tell us if you could…but…" He pulled his hand back quickly, realizing his mistake. He looked down at his feet. "We'd try to help you if you let us."

"It's complicated," I said harshly, recognizing that my fatigue was making me much more short-tempered than usual. "You don't understand…"

Angela stepped forward and grabbed my arm to pull me to the side. Her brows were lowered and she looked anxious. Quietly, she leaned to my ear and whispered, "Bella, you're not…pregnant, are you?"

I pulled away to look at her in horror, wondering if other people thought that same thing and also realizing with a grimace that Alice and Edward could hear her whisperings with perfect clarity.

"I only ask because I know you and Jacob are…close," she admitted. "Remember, we had a conversation about it a few months ago? I mean, you're really smart, so I'd think you were being safe, but when I see you so tired and irritable and…I'm just worried, Bella."

"I'm not pregnant," I mumbled, giving her a pained smile. "I'm fine."

Her expression told me that she didn't quite believe me, and at that moment, the bell rang. With a murmured "I'll see you later," she looked back and forth between me, Edward and Alice before turning on the spot and making her way to class. I envied her, because I just didn't care if I was tardy.

"I'll…see you both later," Edward stammered before also turning, probably thinking that he had overstepped our uncertain bounds.

"I know you're not pregnant," Alice said, the first glimmer of a smile twitching the corners of her mouth. "But maybe I would understand your attitude if you would tell me what's going on."

"I already told you, nothing's…"

"Don't lie to me, Bella," she snapped, her eyes blazing black in anger. "Should I get Jasper here to read your emotions? Your face is pretty much an open book, but the guilt you're probably giving off in waves would be the true statement of what's going on."

I was irrationally irritated with her. "I'll go on Friday," I told her, "But you need to back off about this. You don't know what I'm going through, and that's the way it has to be." Turning to walk to class, I stumbled over my own feet as only I could, and for once Alice didn't offer a cold hand of assistance. Throwing a glance over my shoulder, I saw that she was already gone.

Sadness panged my heart, but I took a deep breath and continued on my way, thinking only of Jacob.

***

That night, Jacob climbed into my window a mere hour after I had said goodbye to him in front of Charlie. He knew something had been bothering me all evening, and I knew he would ask me about it.

We settled into our regular position — on our sides, facing one another, my hands threaded in his shaggy hair and his hands burning trails on the skin of my hips and waist. I could feel the warmth radiating from his bare chest. He regarded me with a more careful expression than on other nights.

"Your eyes are sad," he observed.

"I'm fine," I said, running a finger across his soft lips and avoiding direct eye contact.

"Bella," he said gently, "You think that after memorizing your face every night for hours on end, that I wouldn't notice something so obvious?" I tried to look away for a moment, but he captured my face between his hands. "None of that," he said softly. "Now, tell me what's wrong."

I couldn't stop the immediate flow of tears to my eyes. "Alice and I had a fight," I muttered, fighting the sobs that wanted to wrack my chest. "She wants me to go out with her and a few of the girls from school. Prom dress shopping," I added. "I couldn't get out of it, so I have to go this Friday night."

Jacob showed no sign of distress at my revelation.

"Did you hear me, Jake?" I asked, a note of irritation creeping into my voice. "They're taking me to Port Angeles for _hours_ on Friday night. I…won't see you for hours."

He was silent for a long time.

"Damn it, Jacob…_say something_."

"I think it's a good idea," his voice was so quiet, I had to strain to hear it.

"What?" I thought I must have misheard.

He sighed loudly. "Bells, what are we doing here?" He motioned to the two of us. "This is crazy! We're ignoring everything else in our lives, we're so stressed out it's ridiculous…" I opened my mouth to protest and he stopped me by saying, "You're so damn tired, honey…and it kills me to see you struggling to stay awake every night. Your moods are erratic and you're not happy."

"I'm happy," I grumbled, which resulted in a smile from Jacob.

"We know what we want from each other," he said softly. "But we can't stop living our lives with this hope that I'll imprint on you."

"What happened to your 'I'm never letting you out of my sight?'" I asked him angrily. "You were the one that started this, remember?"

He looked sadly at the way my brows furrowed in annoyance. He reached up to smooth the lines away with his fingers. "This, Bella…this is exactly why we can't. It's affecting us in a bad way and I think it's starting to affect our relationship in a bad way too. We've never snapped at each other irrationally before, Bells."

I realized with a jolt that he was right.

"Besides, there's no guarantee that I'll ever even imprint at all, let alone on you," he continued. "As much as I hope and pray that fate works in our favor, we still have to control our own destinies to an extent. And we know where we stand in that plan." He smiled at me. "Go with your friends. Have fun. Pick out a really sexy dress for me to see you in, and I'll stay at home while you shop and think about how much fun it will be ripping it off of you after we leave the dance."

My heart stuttered and I welcomed the desire that flooded my senses. We had been so preoccupied with studying each other for the last thirteen days, we had in actuality been neglecting one another.

"That sounds like a plan," I said, feeling tentatively hopeful. "When did you get to be the voice of reason?"

He looked surprised. "I guess I am, aren't I?" He broke into a wide grin. "See, we never should have debated age a few months ago…you should have just believed me outright when I said I was actually older than you. Look at me being the mature one…"

"Well, Jake…at the time you were a little less…grown." I felt his muscles flex under my hands, almost as if they were proving my point.

I relaxed and snuggled closer to him, allowing my eyes to close when my cheek rested against his chest. The sensation felt foreign, and I had to admit that I had missed the relief of sleep. However, sleep was far from the forefront of my mind when I felt Jacob push his hips against my body.

He wasn't aroused, but the movement reminded me of moments of closeness that we had ignored for weeks. I gave a small gasp against his chest and my nipples tightened.

"Bella?"

I didn't look up at him for once. Instead, I wriggled back against him, squeezing my legs together and feeling the first tickles of stimulation between them. My heartbeat picked up.

"Bella?" Jacob repeated, and I knew he could hear my accelerated rhythm. "Is everything oka..." His voice choked off with a strangle, and now I did glance at him. His eyes and nostrils were wide as he took in the scents around him. I knew that look — I knew he could smell my arousal, and the thought of it made even more warmth flood my center.

I was astounded at the intensity and suddenness of my excitement. When I felt Jacob's arms around me tighten, I couldn't stop myself from moaning lightly. "Jake…"

"Tell me what you want, Bella," his voice had lowered too.

"I want _you_," I breathed.

I felt him tense against me and pull back slightly. Worried that I had misread the situation, I gave him a puzzled look.

"I wasn't prepared for this, honey," Jacob said, disappointment clouding his tone. "I don't have any protection with me."

I ducked my head and murmured quietly.

"What, Bells?"

"I have some," I repeated, red-faced at the admission.

Jacob pulled away even more. "You…have some? Here?" He was surprised.

"Well, yeah," I admitted. "I made an appointment with the doctor to get on the Pill, but it's not for another few weeks, and I figured you shouldn't be the only one responsible for us being safe."

Jacob's quiet laugh couldn't hide his joy. "Maybe you _are_ the mature one after all." His smile slowly faded to something more intense and he pressed his hips against me once more. This time, I felt something.

He paused to breathe in deeply once again, savoring my fragrance with his heightened senses. His eyes fluttered closed, and when he looked at me again, his lids were lower and his irises seemed darker. A low rumble began in his chest.

Jacob had switched into predatory mode, and I was definitely his prey.

He moved toward me and ran his tongue lightly across my upper lip before covering my mouth with his. My breath came out in a sharp exhale as I parted my lips and returned the kiss. He pressed firmly, his tongue and lips more urgent every second.

Finally, I needed air, and broke away from him with a cry. Jacob didn't hesitate for a moment, trailing his lips down my chin to my neck and nuzzling into the hollow of my throat. There he stopped, and seemed to relish the taste of the little indentation at the base of my neck. A soft press of his mouth and slow, languid licks tickled the spot and made a warm tingle run from my feet up to my scalp. A low groan began in the back of my throat, matching the steady vibration of Jacob's growl.

He continued to lap at the sweet spot on my throat, while I ran my fingertips up and down his bare back, scratching gently. My legs fell open and he rolled slightly until he had settled between them, pressing his erection against the heat between my legs. I matched him thrust for thrust.

"Oh, God…" I moaned as he hit my most sensitive spot through my pajamas.

Jacob's sucking and nibbling slowed, and I felt the soft whisper of air on my skin as he rapidly inhaled and exhaled from his nose, my underwear dampening more as his growl increasing in volume. I loved it when he let his primal, wolf senses dictate his desire.

"Too many clothes," he muttered, running his hands down to my waist and tugging my pajama pants down over my hips. I whimpered as he pulled my panties down too, and I felt the heat of his erection through only one layer.

"Your pants too," I managed to breathe out as I struggled with my own shirt and tried to savor his hands on my bare legs at the same time. Even though the heat from his skin was covering me like an invisible electric Jacob blanket, my nipples were almost painfully hard, and goosebumps decorated my skin.

He pulled back enough to leave room between us so he could unfasten the fly on his tattered denim pants and push them down. He was not wearing underwear underneath. I was almost distracted staring at his erection until he began tugging awkwardly on my bra. With a soft smile, I arched my back, slipped my hands behind me and swiftly unhooked the strap.

Jacob pulled back a bit more and stared at me as he gently, slowly pulled the fabric away from my body, revealing all of me to him at once. I blushed at the intensity of his gaze, but found myself studying his magnificence just as unabashedly. In the weak light from the nightlight in the corner of my room, Jacob's skin seemed darker, yet the shadows played across the muscles of his torso, making every ridge and bulge of his abs stand out as though a spotlight were on him. His chest rose and fell deeply as he took greedy breaths through his nose, his eyes affixed on the dark triangle between my legs. Slowly, he ran his fingertips between my breasts and lightly trailed them down my stomach, past my navel and through the tidy patch of hair on my mound. He paused only a moment, his gaze flickering to my face for a brief second. Seeing my heavily-lidded eyes and the way I bit my lip, he was encouraged to rub his way lower.

Jacob dipped his fingertips gently into the center of my folds, where I was warmest and wettest. I saw his length twitch as he slowly massaged his fingers against the slickness, pressing more firmly and flicking his thumb against my sensitive, waiting clit. I closed my eyes.

Before I could moan at the sensations he was eliciting, his hand left my center and my lids flew open as I protested the loss. Jacob had his hand against his face, and he was breathing in my scent ravenously. One finger disappeared between his lips as he tasted my essence. I panted softly at the sight, and Jacob's attention returned to me. His eyes were dark, his lip curled up in a low snarl.

His fingers returned to the wetness between my thighs. "So sweet…" his voice rasped above his continued rumbling. Two of his fingers slid into me, and my hips rose to meet the palm of his hand, seeking more friction. As he began to slowly thrust his fingers in and out, his other hand found my breasts and kneaded them roughly as the vibration in his chest thundered.

Jacob began moving the hand between my legs at a much more rapid pace, and I felt the welcome knot of pleasure beginning to tighten under his rubbing fingers. I reached for Jacob and ghosted my fingers gently up and down his length, resulting in a hiss from him. At once, his hands thrust harder. Harder. Too hard. I found myself moving up the bed a few inches with every thrust, and the knot in my center faded as pain overtook pleasure.

"Ouch, Jake," I whimpered, putting my hands against his chest. "Slow down." His dark eyes glazed over with immediate understanding as his instinctual reaction faded, and he pushed himself off of me in horror.

"Damn it, I got carried away again, didn't I?" his voice strained. "Are you okay, Bella?"

I rubbed my hand against my still-wet, but slightly tender folds. The pain was already fading.

"I'm fine. I guess we're a little out of practice."

"More like I can't control my instincts," he said bitterly.

I took his hands and pulled him back on top of me. "Don't," I said simply, not wanting him to be angry with himself. I needed him too much tonight. "Just be with me, Jacob," I said softly, capturing his gaze. "Don't look away from me, and we'll figure it out together."

He looked at me with wonder as I trailed kisses across his shoulder and finally met his lips again.

"Stay with me," I murmured against his mouth, as his breath washed warm across my skin.

"God, I love you so much, Bella," he cried softly, surrendering to the urgency that practically radiated between the two of us. He pressed himself against me gently, warming my skin at every inch. I felt his declaration of love all the way in my heart, like a sharp pulse of heat. It overwhelmed me for a moment, and a single, happy tear leaked out of the corner of my eye as we kissed.

Jacob's mouth began to move south, barely stopping at my neck before he closed his lips around one peaked nipple. At once, my hips rose and my aching center met against the firmness of his abs. He only paused for a moment, and I almost protested his lack of attention to my breasts before I realized where he was heading. As Jacob slid further down my body, I could feel every ripple of his muscles rubbing against the heat between my legs. And finally, I felt his strong hands against my inner thighs, spreading them apart gently.

He paused for a maddening moment, and I lifted my head to look at him between my knees. Jacob was staring at the warm triangle in front of him reverently. His eyes were dark, yet I knew he was in total control.

"Jake?" My voice was shaky, wanting.

"So wet," he said softly. "You're so wet for me. I can't believe…I…" He leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on my inner thigh. "I can't believe I could ever be so lucky." He nuzzled into my skin and my breath hitched.

Gasping softly, I murmured, "Not lucky. You don't have me because you're lucky." I reached down and pushed a strand of hair out of his eyes, which were fixed up on my face. "You have me because you're Jacob. You're so much…my love, my lover, my protector…" He grazed his nose against the slit of my folds and I stuttered for a moment, but regained my voice. "But above all, you're my best friend. You've always been my best friend."

Jacob held himself against my thigh, hugging my leg and closing his eyes momentarily. Opening them again, I was surprised to see sadness in them. "I wish I could be more," he whispered.

I reached for him, needing him up against me, face-to-face. My craving for him to put his mouth on me was forgotten, replaced by the more intense yearning to show him what I couldn't possibly explain in words. Show him that he had not only healed the hole in my heart — he _was_ my heart.

"Jake, you're everything."

His lips pressed softly on my skin as I reached for what I needed on my side table. Keeping my eyes closed and savoring his gentle worship of my body, I reached down and wrapped my hands around his length. It responded with a twitch, and I carefully unrolled the latex sheath down every hot inch.

"Are you still hurting from what I did?" Jacob said quietly, pausing in his caresses.

"No," I whispered back. "Please, Jake…don't think. I need to make love to you. Please…"

Even though I was slick from my arousal, Jacob knew to be careful, and I could tell he was worried about losing control again. "Bells, I don't want to hurt you."

My eyes widened as I heard his words and my mind hearkened back to Edward saying the same thing as the two of us had attempted our first kisses as he fought his bloodlust. Back then I didn't truly understand what those words meant, but now I did, with Jacob. And I knew that the necessary pain between two people new to physical love was much sweeter and more welcome than the emotional pain of regret and neglect.

Edward never allowed me to come to this understanding, instead assuming that he knew better than me even though he was just as much a novice. Jacob accepted me as an equal and we worked through these awkward and sometimes painful experiences together — as a team. It's one of the reasons I loved him so completely.

"Even if it hurts, it's worth it," I murmured, nudging his cheek with my nose and littering kisses on his skin. Still holding him in my hand, I positioned him against my entrance and moved the head of his erection against my wetness to make it easier. He pushed his hips forward, nudging just the tip inside of me.

"Is this good?"

"Mmm, so good," I responded, my body flushing with excitement. Slowly, he pulled back and pushed in again, slipping slightly farther in this time. I moaned softly at the sensation of him filling me. It was like he was totally possessing me, body and soul.

Again he pulled back and thrust gently, sliding in a few inches this time. I gasped at the sheer intensity of what I felt at that moment, and Jacob stopped immediately.

"Bella, honey?"

I pulled his head down to me, attacking his mouth with passion, begging him silently not to stop again. "God, yes Jake…keep going!"

With excruciating slowness, Jacob pushed his entire length into me. When I felt his warm skin touching my outer folds as the rest of him filled me, something inside of me spilled over and I felt myself explode into orgasm. It took me by surprise and I cried out loudly into my darkened bedroom. Jacob quickly covered my mouth with his hand, and I bit his fingers as my muscles squeezed around him. He quickened his pace, thrusting a bit faster.

"Bella…oh, my Bella," he repeated, growling lowly as though he were savoring something luscious. He reached between us to capture my breasts in his hands, and I moaned again when I felt his weight press on me. My skin was starting to glisten from sweat, and it seemed to make our bodies slide against one another in a wonderfully erotic way.

Jacob's erection glided easily now, even though I still felt impossibly tight. The friction was intensely amazing, and I felt a subtle change in the way he plunged into me. Already, he was close.

I clasped my hands on either side of his face and pressed my forehead against his. His eyes, which had been closed tightly in concentration, opened and met mine.

"Yes, Jake," I breathed. "Go ahead."

He drew in a ragged breath and sped up his motion. With every thrust, his skin met mine, and a muffled clapping sound began to fill my quiet bedroom. I prayed that Charlie wouldn't hear.

"Bella," he began a long moan.

"Keep going," I urged him.

"Bella!"

"Keep going!

"Oh, fuck…Bella!"

"God, yes… keep going!"

"I love you," he whimpered, his voice a shaky mix between a growl and a cry. He gave one final push and gasped. I felt his member throb inside of me, releasing his orgasm.

I held him in wonder as he relaxed against me, his head lolling against my shoulder and his weight pressing down on me comfortably. He shook gently, and it wasn't until I felt a hot tear on my skin that I realized he was crying.

"Jacob? Baby, what's wrong?"

He pulled back to look at me, his lip trembling and fat tears rolling down his russet skin.

"Bella…" he hesitated, seeming to war with himself.

I kissed him sweetly on the mouth, urging him on without words.

"I'm so scared," he whispered. "What I said earlier…about knowing what I want...well, I meant it. I want to be everything for you. But I'm scared to death that I'll hurt you someday. I don't want to hurt you, Bella."

I knew he was as worried about imprinting as I was. But in the deepest recesses of my heart, I also knew that the fear didn't matter. I was in this just as much as he was. I would love him now, and forever, even if I would lose him someday. Because one day of his love was worth it.

So for the second time that night, I looked at him and said, "Even if it hurts, it's worth it."

***

_It has been such a good week for me! "_Like Night and Day_" has been nominated for a BELLIE AWARD for "Best 'Edward Who?' Fic!" Voting opens on February 3 (today!!!) at 7 p.m. You can go and vote at www(dot)thecatt(dot)net/tw/default(dot)aspx_

_Also, _LN&D_ has been nominated for TWO Indie Twific Awards, in these categories: "Best Love Triangle" and "Best New Moon Story." Voting will open soon, and I'll let my readers know how they can support my story._

_Also, my Demetri o/s "His Angel" was the reader's choice winner in the "I Get Off in Volterra" contest. If you haven't read it yet, I hope you consider checking it out!_

_I am so honored that some of you felt that this story was worthy of nomination for these awards and my o/s was worthy of voting. I enjoy writing and sharing with you, and I promise to keep going until the end. You guys are awesome...THANK YOU!_


	27. Chapter 27 The Unexpected

Jacob and I continued to spend our nights together, but now instead of fighting sleep, we were catching up on it. We were also catching up on quality time together that we had neglected. On Friday, we accidentally overslept, lucky that Charlie hadn't peeked in on me before leaving. I had to skip my usual morning shower, which made my mood a bit sour, but Jacob insisted that I smelled "amazing."

"Like werewolf and sex," he laughed as I playfully slapped at his arm.

We rushed around to get dressed and grab some breakfast, and I felt guilty that Jacob would be late for school yet again. He didn't seem to worry, but did tense when he dropped me off and saw Edward waiting for me with Alice.

It hurt me to have Jacob react even slightly at the sight of Edward, as if he were still jealous. I made a point of launching myself at him, kissing him ardently in full view of Edward and the rest of the students in the parking lot. I didn't care about the audience…I only hoped it would send a message to Jacob that I was being open about my love for him, even right in front of my vampire ex.

"Damn, Bells," he grinned, the momentary tension gone. He leaned back toward me, giving me one more kiss on my cheek before handing me my bag. I hopped out of the Rabbit and made my way over to the two Cullens propped against the silver Volvo. Jacob's car sputtered loudly away, and the familiar sound of it made me smile as I came to a stop in front of my two favorite vampires.

Edward's nose seemed to flare and his eyes darkened, flashing with quick anger that was quickly replaced by sad numbness. Alice all but pinched her nose at me.

"Ugh, Bella…you smell like a wet dog!" She paused. "And…sex?"

Redness flooded my face, but Alice just laughed as Edward clenched his jaws, fighting back whatever reaction he was having to the harsh reality of my scent. His eyes looked furious, but the rest of him was deliberately relaxed — he was trying his hardest to not appear bothered.

"Go Bella!" Alice teased.

I cringed, worried about Edward's feelings. "Alice…please."

Next to me, Edward eased considerably when he heard the concern for him in my voice. I watched from the corner of my eye as he gave himself a few moments to get his emotions under control. Finally, he turned to me and studied my face.

"Your eyes look much better," he remarked. "The circles are starting to fade."

I regarded him with surprise. "So, you're talking to me again?"

"I suppose I am," he said, sounding just as surprised. But then he smiled my favorite crooked smile at me, and I couldn't help grinning back, my heartbeat stuttering at his inadvertent dazzle.

"I'm glad."

"I still think we need to maintain a distance, but you know I have a hard time keeping myself from your side, Bella."

My smile became cheerless. "Well, I told you yesterday that everything was fine, but you acted like you didn't hear me."

"Uh, vampire, remember? I hear everything," he joked softly. 'But I just don't trust myself as much as you do, Bella."

Beside him, Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm, squeezing it with a giggle.

I finally turned my attention to my black-mopped, overenthusiastic friend, who was smiling from ear-to-ear. I knew why, and it made me roll my eyes right back at her. Typical Alice. She was practically vibrating with energy about our shopping trip that evening, and I had to admit that I was glad to be spending time with her. Our argument had been short-lived, and we needed some girl time. After Jacob and I had settled our issues as much as we could, it was easy to apologize to Alice for being irritable. A good night's sleep helped too.

I turned back to Edward, resuming the conversation. "Well, I trust you…so you need to get over it," I said, half teasing, half serious.

Alice snorted, taking my side light-heartedly. "Yeah, seriously Edward…"

Edward was much more serious. "There's a lot I guess I need to get over," he said quietly, breathing in again and clenching his jaws at my scent. Suddenly, his eyes became curious and he cocked his head to the side, as if listening to thoughts that were more interesting than usual. He sighed and set his mouth in a grim line. "Hmm, interesting. Maybe this might help?"

I wondered whose mind he had read at the same time I turned when I realized someone was standing next to me.

Trembling slightly, a pleasant-looking, petite girl stepped up to our group, her large blue eyes fixed on Edward. She tucked a wayward lock of her light brown hair behind her ear and cleared her throat — the look on her pretty face was timid but resolute. I recognized her as a junior that I had spoken to once or twice, but I really didn't know her except for her name — Tamaria. I knew she was in Edward's music class.

"Can I…um, could I talk to you, Edward?" she asked nervously, tugging self-consciously at her stylish tunic top and adjusting the strap on her messenger bag.

Edward gazed at me for a long moment, as if waiting for me to give him a sign or a reaction, before giving his sister a resigned look and stepping aside with the girl. Alice took my hand in hers and offered me a sad look, which made me curious and a bit alarmed.

Edward and Tamaria were only a few feet away, and I could hear their awkward conversation.

"So, Edward…" she began, twisting a lock of her long, thick hair in her fingers anxiously. "I didn't know if you had any plans for prom…" Her eyes flickered quickly toward me before she took a deep breath and continued. "But if you didn't, I thought maybe we could go together? As friends, of course," she added, shakily.

Edward was silent.

Tamaria tried to fill the silence as best she could. "I mean, if you don't want to, that's cool…but I was hoping…" Her voice trailed off and she gnawed her full lip as she tried to read Edward's expression.

I waited for him to turn her down gently. I knew that before I had come to Forks, this exact scene had played out before many of the school dances, and Edward had always declined gracefully.

"I would be honored," he said softly, offering her a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Wha…what?" Tamaria stammered, not believing her own ears.

"What?" I echoed in confusion.

"I'd be happy to escort you to prom," Edward said again. "Thank you for asking me."

"Sure…no problem," the girl said, dazed. She started to walk off before Edward stopped her.

"Maybe I should get your phone number?"

Her cheeks were bright pink and her eyes wide. "Oh! Of course!" She fumbled with her backpack and managed to find a scrap of paper and a pen, and with quaking hands, scribbled a number. Handing it to him, she beamed a bit too widely.

"Thank you Tamaria," Edward said. "I will call you this weekend and we can figure out the timing and where I should pick you up."

"Yeah," she said, her tone a bit loud and enthusiastic. "Yeah…call me this weekend!" Tamaria began walking backwards, her eyes never leaving Edward. When she bumped into the row of lockers behind her, she jumped slightly and turned scarlet before spluttering a quick "bye" and turning to flee.

Edward looked down at the floor and sighed softly. Sadly. I felt my frozen shock beginning to thaw and turn into fury.

"What the hell was that, Edward?" I asked, surprised at the venom in my voice and by my sudden consuming anger.

He turned back to me, his eyes sorrowful. Alice took a fleeting look at the two of us before offering a rushed, "Bye!" and dashing down the hall, leaving us alone to talk. I angled myself so I faced him fully, furious about this unexpected situation, and confused because of that.

Edward hung his head, looking defeated. I waited. He sighed. I continued waiting. Finally, he opened his lips to speak, but he didn't explain himself like I expected.

"Bella," he began tentatively, "Why are you so angry about this?"

"What?"

"Why does this bother you so much?"

"I…I…I don't want you to lead on that poor girl," I exclaimed, my face and ears burning.

Edward's face darkened. "Bella, you know me. Do you think that's something I would do?"

My shoulders slumped. "I don't think so. But you've been very upfront about your feelings for me, so I don't understand why you're doing this if you're still in love with me."

His eyes widened and his expression was furious. For a moment, I was frightened because he looked every bit the dangerous vampire he truly was. I took a miniscule step backwards, and Edward's anger faded. He looked unsure, and I could tell he was contemplating running away.

Before he could, I reached out and grabbed his hand. "Don't run away this time, Edward. Stay and let us work this out together."

"You might not like what I have to say," he murmured.

"Well, it can't be any worse than what you're _doing_, Edward. You know the effect you have on humans…that girl won't even know what hit her. Your heart will never belong to her, and that will only bring her unnecessary pain."

"Bella," Edward's voice was controlled. "Get over yourself."

I froze. "I beg your pardon?"

"I said, '_Get over yourself_,' Bella," he repeated, seeming shocked at himself. "I will love you until the end of my existence, but you've made it very clear that I'm not your choice. You know how difficult it was for you after I chose to leave?"

I nodded, tears welling in my eyes involuntarily.

"Imagine a lifetime…no, _several_ lifetimes…of that pain. Now you know what the rest of my existence will be," he said softly.

"Edward, I…"

"No, don't, Bella," he said, his velvet voice calm and dangerous. "In my 108 years of walking this Earth, I never imagined I'd find my perfect mate. But then I met you. And you don't want me back. I'm trying something new here. Who knows…if I can find just an inkling of happiness through friendship and human companionship, I'm going to try." He looked off into the distance, sadness etched on his marble features. "I have to try. Otherwise, what is there for me?" When I didn't respond, his shoulders slumped and he walked away to class.

I watched him go, speechless. Because he was right, and I was being selfish.

**

A half hour later, I exited the girl's restroom where I had retreated when the tears began to fall. I had fifteen minutes before my next class, so I walked out to the parking lot for some fresh air. I avoided the eyes of the students who had snuck out to smoke, keeping my gaze on the wet pavement. My truck was not there since Jacob had taken me to school, so I walked over to Edward's Volvo. For once, the misty air felt good against my overheated, tearstained face. I sat on a damp bench and closed my eyes, deeply inhaling the humid, cool air.

I was confused and angry. I shouldn't care what Edward decided to do, but I did. The entire ordeal made me feel guilty too. Jacob was everything I wanted. So why did part of me refuse to let go of Edward? Why couldn't I convince my heart that we would only just be friends?

My imagination drifted to what the future might look like. _Jacob and I, laughing happily, with beautiful black-haired children at our sides. Emmett and Alice playing with the older children, a proud "aunt" and "uncle." Rosalie and Esme taking turns cuddling the baby. Carlisle and Jasper watching the merriment with smiles. And Edward…_

A tear escaped and rolled down my cheek as I saw his tortured face in my mind. Edward's eyes would be for me only. Knowing him like I did, he would put on a brave face, but would suffer each and every time we saw each other — wanting to touch me, to love me, but always unable.

I exhaled shakily and tried to restart the reverie, hoping the end result would be different. Each time, it ended with an Edward who was tense with pain, never able to let go of the hope that Jacob would imprint and I would come back to him.

I shook my head as if trying to erase the vision. I refused to believe that was the inevitable future for him. For the first time, I thought about his decision to go to prom with the shy girl from his music class and that it might be a good thing, even though the mere idea made my heart pang with a pain I couldn't explain.

After several minutes, my face had cooled and my hair had frizzed up in the mist. I smoothed it as best I could and stood to face the rest of my day.

**

The day was miserable, but I kept my tears at bay, thank goodness. Edward ignored me, even though I tried to get his attention several times. To do what, I didn't know. Apologize? Yell? Cry? I just knew I wanted to do something to make it right.

"I am a horrible person, Alice," I commiserated as we followed Angela's car in my truck on the way to Port Angeles. "I want Edward to be happy, I really do…but everything today just took me by surprise."

Alice didn't say anything.

"I don't know what to do. I'm just…stunned," I continued, clenching the steering wheel. When she still didn't respond, I glanced over at her. "Alice?"

She turned to me, her eyes conflicted. "Is that it? Or is it something more?"

I had expected her to offer some words of comfort, so her direct questions took me aback. My mouth dropped open, and I didn't know how to respond.

"Do you still love Edward?"

"No, Alice! I mean, yes…I do, but not like that." I was flustered.

"Can I ask you a pretty tough question, then?" I nodded, squeezing the steering wheel anxiously. "Are you keeping him around because you don't want anyone else to have him?"

I sighed sadly. "No, but I can see how you might think that. I _do_ want him to be happy, and it _would_ make it a lot easier if he would find someone else." I paused to choose my next words. "But I don't want Edward giving his heart away to someone new only because it's hurting. His heart is a beautiful and a precious thing and I always cherished it."

"You still have it, you know," Alice said softly.

"I know," I whispered. "I want to protect it…protect him from this kind of heartache again."

"You two are so similar, you know," Alice said, a smile twitching on her otherwise sad face. "Overprotective fools, both of you." She turned in her seat to face me fully, her delicate hands clasped on her lap. "Don't you think you should free his heart, Bella? As long as he has hope, he's going to be constant. There's no choice for him in this…you're his only choice. Give him up, let him take care of himself if you're not going to reciprocate those feelings." Her voice trembled. "He's hurting, Bella."

"That's not what I want."

"Bella, what do you want? Really? Do you even know?

I was silent. Finally, I said, "Yes, I know what I want. Jacob. I want Jacob."

Alice's mouth set in a firm line. "Well, good. But you'd better communicate that to Edward. And soon. I love you like a sister, but Edward is my _brother_. It kills me to see him in this much pain, not to mention what it's doing to my husband."

I fought back the tears that threatened to well in my eyes. Alice continued.

"Don't get me wrong, Edward's the one who messed things up in the first place…he's going to have to live with the consequences of leaving you for the rest of his existence. But the way you're holding on to him is just making it worse. If Edward truly doesn't stand a chance, like you keep saying to me, you need to release his heart."

"I've been pretty upfront about my feelings, I think. He knows I only want a friendship from him."

She shook her head. "That's not how Edward works, Bella. And, quite frankly, you can't have your cake and eat it too." I blanched in disbelief, but she ignored my offended expression. "Like I said before, Edward still hopes that you'll be together. I think he'd do just about anything to have you back…at this point I think he'd probably even agree to change you."

"I can't let him go," I said softly. "I need him in my life." My mind flashed back to the agony of the months following his departure. I wouldn't…no, I couldn't go through that again. Also, knowing the uncertainty of my life with Jacob in regards to the imprinting impulse, I depended on the constancy of Edward's love to keep me together. And knowing how much our separation pained Edward made me convinced I was doing the right thing. "Why can't he be my friend? Why does it have to be this complicated?"

Alice heard the pain in my voice and her eyes softened.

"It's part of our unchanging nature, Bella. Edward can't change, even if he might try. You're the one who has to make this right." She looked at me quizzically. "Besides, why do you need him so much? Isn't Jacob enough?"

At the mere mention of my werewolf's name, I tensed. Jacob was everything to me, and I knew that. But the threat of imprint loomed over me, even though I had made my choice to chance it. But I couldn't risk losing Edward too. I couldn't tell Alice any of that, and no matter what, I couldn't agree with her insistence that a friendship with Edward was impossible.

"Maybe I'm going about this the wrong way," I considered. "Maybe I shouldn't expect a typical friendship with Edward like I have with Jasper and Emmett, but I can't imagine that a friendship altogether is out of the question. I just…can't." Alice and I were quiet for several minutes — me chewing my lip in contemplation, Alice perfectly still as if a statue. I thought back to my daydream, and how I might change the ending vision. "Maybe…Jake and I could hang out with you guys…like a group thing?"

Alice's eyes widened in astonishment. "I…I've never thought about that, but I don't know, Bella. You know it makes me uneasy being around the wolves because I can't see what's going to happen. What if Jacob loses control and goes after Edward?"

I bristled. "What if Edward's the one who loses control? He has a history of doing that," I said, defending Jacob. "But that won't happen…I know it." I ran through my schedule in my head. "We could do something this Sunday…something outdoors?"

"I suppose we could try," Alice said carefully, her eyes blank as she searched the future. Finally, she sighed. "But I don't think it's the best idea, Bella. Edward can't let you go. I see a future of sadness for him right now."

"But your visions are subjective," I said, repeating what Edward had told me once. "The future can always change."

"You really want to try this 'friendship' thing…with both Jacob and Edward?" Alice asked. "It's not going to be easy."

"Well, it makes sense, doesn't it?" I asked. "Edward needs to see for himself that Jacob is my choice, and the two of them need to learn to coexist if I'm going to continue to have Edward in my life."

She shook her head. "You should do what you feel you must, but Bella…you've made your choice to be with Jacob. And with choices sometimes there's sacrifice. You can't always have everything the way you want it. This isn't a novel where everyone gets a 'happily ever after.'"

"I refuse to accept that," I whispered. "He can't leave…I can't lose him…or the rest of you."

"We're going to have to leave eventually," she reminded me. "But Bella, I promise you'll never lose me." Her voice was fierce, and she reached to squeeze my hand. "No matter where we go after Forks, I will always be your friend."

It was nice to end the conversation on a positive note as we passed into the Port Angeles town limits. The large, solitary department store awaited us, and as I parked the car, Alice was already in her element, bouncing excitedly next to me. The seriousness of our conversation was past, and she was in shopping mode. I took a deep breath and steeled myself for the next two hours of being her personal Barbie doll.

**

"Your dress is perfect," Angela reiterated as we sat at our table at Bella Italia. Next to her, Alice scowled, annoyed with me.

"You should have gotten the green one too," she griped, crossing her arms in front of her and pouting. Katie, Angela and I laughed.

"I liked the red one that you tried on, Katie," I said, taking a sip of my Coke and spearing a mushroom ravioli, smiling softly at the memories it brought.

"I did too, but my mom would probably think I looked like a hussy," Katie laughed. "Although, if I stood next to Angela in her dress, they'd see a real hussy!" Alice forgot her annoyance with me and we both squealed in laughter as Angela sat up proudly.

"Just because I'm daring to show a bit of skin…"

"A bit of skin?" I gasped, "Ben is going to melt into a puddle of goo when he sees you in that!"

She grinned, her sweet face flushed. "That's the idea."

"Angela, I had no idea you were such a naughty girl," Alice sounded impressed, and Angela flushed more. I joined in the giggles and felt relaxed for the first time all day. Looking around the table at the girls, all with smiles on their faces, I felt so glad that I had come along. I'd needed some girl time much more than I realized. It was nice to be able to laugh and talk about frivolous things like prom dresses.

That all changed when Katie cleared her throat and looked at me, emboldened by my light mood to ask what I knew she had been itching to all evening.

"So…Bella," Katie began cautiously. I turned to her and could tell by her expression that I would not like what she had to say. "I overheard this junior girl talking in the cafeteria today, and she was telling her friends that she's going to prom with Edward…is that true?"

I tried to appear nonchalant. "Yes, she asked him this morning."

Katie glanced at Angela and Alice, who were watching me carefully. "Well, what happened?"

I shrugged. "She asked him, and he said yes. That's it." They continued to stare at me. "What? Do you expect me to be all upset about it? I'm not with Edward anymore. He's free to do what he wants."

"But it can't be easy, Bella," Angela's voice was sympathetic. "You loved Edward. It has to be hard for you to see him with someone else."

"I know it's hard for him to see you with Jacob," Alice murmured, and I heard the message behind her words. "But he's managing."

"It's just prom," I exclaimed, getting a bit irritated. "I don't care…really!"

Thankfully, Angela sensed my reluctance and changed the subject, asking Alice how she was doing her hair for the dance.

I tuned their conversation out as I struggled with the realization that I really did care. I needed to do some serious soul-searching in the next week. As much as I exclaimed that it didn't bother me…I was more upset than I could fathom. And that scared me to death.

**

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	28. Chapter 28 Predictable Disaster

"Relax, Jake," I said, reaching for the tense muscles of his arm and rubbing them reassuringly. "Alice and Edward will be on their best behavior, and we're meeting in a totally neutral spot." I bent down to nuzzle against his warm arm. Jacob had been edgy ever since picking me up for our day out with the two Cullens. We planned to go hiking in a remote area of the Bogachiel Peak — a spot not preferred by many area hikers for its out-of-the-way trail head. We had chosen an option far from human eyes so the non-humans could run and sparkle with no worry. "You have no idea how much I appreciate this," I added.

He sighed and reached for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine.

"That's not why I'm all freaked out," he said, his eyes hardening as he watched the road. "Although, it certainly doesn't help things."

"What's wrong?"

He paused, and seemed to choose his words carefully. "Another member of the pack imprinted." I gasped, releasing his hand so I could cover my mouth in shock. He glanced at me, looking angry for some reason. "Yeah…and this one hits pretty close to home, Bells."

A spasm of fear crippled my body, and I couldn't move. "You…you didn't…"

"No, no…God, no, honey," he reassured me. "It was Paul."

I couldn't help but breathe a loud sigh of relief, but now Jacob's anger was curious.

"So who…"

I saw Jacob's hands tighten on the wheel. He clenched his jaw and seethed, "It's Rachel, Bella." His voice rose. "God damn it, my fucking _sister_! Paul imprinted on her yesterday, and…and…" He couldn't continue, because he began trembling and had to concentrate to calm himself.

I reached to touch his skin, but still leaned away from him as he slowly settled down. I could understand why Jacob was upset, but the news was unsettling to me for a different reason. This was the fifth pack member to imprint — the impulse, which Jacob had thought to be rare, was proving to be very common after all.

"It's bad enough that he's going to be my freakin' brother-in-law someday," Jacob's voice was controlled, careful, "but he's another one who bucked the previously imprint traditions."

My heart stuttered when I realized what he meant. "He saw her at the beach the other week," I said softly. "He didn't imprint with her at first either."

"Yeah, babe," Jacob's voice was even softer than mine. "Rachel's had to meet with the pack and tribal leaders about it, and she obviously knows everything now." He smiles for the first time in a few minutes. "She freaked when she found out that I was a werewolf…Paul's revelation didn't faze her, but knowing her little brother is a snarling beast…" He chuckled lowly.

We sat in silence for a moment before I remembered something.

"What did she tell her boyfriend?" I asked, feeling distressed and sympathetic toward the young man I didn't even know. I wondered if his situation would be mine someday. "I know they weren't together long, but she seemed pretty into him a few weeks ago."

Jacob heard the strain in my voice and squeezed my hand reassuringly. "It wasn't an issue. I guess she went back to school for her finals and found out he was cheating on her. Totally ruined her concentration on her exams…Dad wasn't happy with her grades this semester. Anyway, she came home a few days ago and has been miserable the entire time. Totally moping around and going for lots of walks at Second Beach by herself. That's where she ran into Paul. He was coming out of the woods after a morning wolf run. She was totally free for someone to come along…probably a rebound relationship, but I just wish it wasn't _Paul_."

"Or that it wasn't for life," I added, returning the squeeze. The unspoken tension that had been one-sided when we first began our drive to the more secluded area near Rugged Ridge Trail, now radiated from me as well. I had been hoping for a day free of worry, a day free to concentrate on building a tentative, friendly truce between the most important people in my life, but no luck.

***

Jacob stiffened slightly when we pulled into the parking area by the trailhead. Edward and Alice sat on a large rock near the cleared path, looking brilliant even though the sky was overcast. Edward rose immediately, looking anxious. Alice's face was pinched, obviously frustrated that her vision was blocked by Jacob's presence. I wondered if any of them would have fun today.

"Is this a mistake?" I whispered to Jacob as he shifted to park. "All three of you look miserable."

He reached for me and slid his palm against my cheek. I sighed and pressed against his skin, enjoying his hand embracing my face gently.

"This is important to you," Jacob said. "It's going to be difficult, but if they love you half as much as I do…" His voice hardened slightly at the word "love." "They'll do what they can to make you happy."

"Thanks, Jake."

He smiled grimly. "Doesn't mean I'm looking forward to it, Bella." The corner of his mouth twitched, and with one swift motion, he pulled his t-shirt up over his head. My eyes took in his massive rippled form, and I knew exactly what he was doing — keeping me preoccupied with his beauty while also attempting to intimidate Edward.

"Jacob," I said, feigning annoyance while my hand reached over to run against his stomach in admiration.

His smile faded when he glanced again at the Cullens, who patiently waited. "Well, here we go."

I gave him a quick peck on the cheek before we exited the Rabbit. Jacob quickly made his way around the car and pressed himself against my side, clinging to me as we walked toward the two vampires.

"Hey guys," I called with more enthusiasm than usual.

"Hello Bella…Jacob," Edward said, nodding toward the hulking figure at my side, his tone formal. His eyes fell on our joined hands.

Alice ignored the obvious apprehension and darted forward to hug me. Jacob unconsciously pulled me back momentarily, trying to put himself between me and Alice in a protective stance, but immediately realized his mistake and relaxed. She froze in front of me while he calmed and then pulled me in for a quick embrace.

"Well, this will be interesting," Alice said cheerfully, shooting a smile at Jacob, who grinned back, his guard lowering even more. I was reminded that the two of them had conspired to plan my romantic evening with Jacob several weeks earlier. Perhaps this would be easier than I thought.

Next to me, I heard a low growl from Jacob. Surprised, I glanced at him and then over to see Edward walking tentatively toward me, his arms outstretched for a hug of his own.

"It's okay, Jake," I urged, silently begging him to calm. Edward's eyes were cautious, watching Jacob and pausing suddenly when my wolf began to tremble. He looked at me with worry, and I knew he was panicking that I would somehow get hurt if Jacob lost control. I pressed Jacob's arm reassuringly and took a few steps forward to meet Edward in the middle. Behind me, I heard Jacob struggling to shush his instinctual growling.

"Hey Bella," Edward's voice was soft and his musical lilt couldn't hide the wooden dullness hiding in his tone.

"Hey Edward," I replied, stepping up and wrapping my arms around him for a quick hug. Behind me, Jacob's growling continued softly, but Edward seemed to ignore it.

"You'd better reassure your boyfriend," he whispered, pulling away from me and smiling a bit too broadly — his ocher eyes flickering toward Jacob, who was trying his hardest to appear unbothered by the display of affection. Edward almost looked smug.

At that moment, I realized that there would be nothing easy about this day.

***

"So, Edward," Jacob began, after we had been walking the trail at my human pace in near silence for fifteen minutes. "I never thanked you for taking out Victoria. Things were looking pretty bad there for a moment." He tried to keep his tone casual, and I squeezed his hand to show him that I appreciated the effort.

"I knew she would never stop hunting Bella," Edward said simply. "I had to protect her. But I'm…glad…that I could save you in the process." His voice sounded anything but glad, and I thought I saw Alice shoot him a warning look.

"I'm glad too," I murmured, looking up at Jacob and smiling.

Behind me, Alice sighed exasperatedly. "Can we please go faster? Bella, I know how you hate to run, but if we keep it to a medium pace, would that be okay?"

"Do you think you can keep up, Jacob?" Edward asked, and Jacob flinched next to me. "I mean, you'll probably be carrying Bella, right?"

"I think you just might be surprised, leech," Jacob tried to keep his words light, as if he were teasing, but I could hear the competitive agitation radiating from those words.

Edward snorted. "I am pretty fast."

"So I hear."

"Alice, I think I want to ride with you," I said weakly, my face burning with anxiety as the two of them did an uneasy dance of words. She laughed nervously. "Don't lose control," I whispered to Jacob as he released my hands and pulled his shirt over his head. "Please."

His grin for me was wide, but his wary eyes never left Edward. "Sure, sure," he said dismissively. Alice and I turned our backs to him to give him some privacy as he finished undressing. I heard him bellow, "All right, let's do this…," and then a momentary snarl sounded and all was quiet.

Alice and I turned around but both of them were gone.

"Boys," I muttered, but she just shook her head.

"I still don't think this is a good idea," Alice reiterated. "I'm surprised Jacob doesn't just pee on your leg already…the two of them are just going to keep up this passive-aggressive competition until one of them gets hurt or embarrassed."

"Do you think they'll hurt each other?" I never thought that could be an issue, but I was suddenly worried. Alice didn't respond, so I walked over to her and put my arms around her neck from behind. "Maybe we should have had Jasper along to calm them down." I squeezed my eyes closed and tucked my chin against her shoulder. Well, let's get going…they're probably halfway to Canada by now."

"Hang on, Bella…I'm going to be faster than usual — we need to find them before things get out of hand."

I found that traveling with Alice was usually a bit easier than running with Edward had ever been. Her gait was remarkably smooth and graceful, even when compared with Edward's flawless stride. But today was different. There was an urgency in her run, and I comprehended her worry as my stomach lurched from the pace.

"I think we're only a minute behind them," she turned and shouted so I could hear. Her voice sounded anxious, and it made worry pool in the pit of my stomach. I leaned against her, urging her ahead silently and starting to regret my idea to force Jacob and Edward to coexist.

The forest blurred past, and I felt Alice tense under my grip and she was suddenly faster. A minute later, she stopped and dropped me unceremoniously on the ground.

"Oof," I said, my jeans hitting the moist ground and creating a wet patch on my rear end. I looked up to protest, but froze when I saw why Alice had dumped me off her back so abruptly.

Edward was crouched in a fighting stance, his brilliant face twisted in a snarl. Fifteen yards in front of him, Jacob stood tall, enormous and terrifying in his wolf form. Alice positioned herself between them, pleading in a low voice to her brother.

"Stop this, Edward," she seethed, almost too quiet for me to hear.

Edward immediately stood from his crouch and murmured an apology, more for my benefit than Alice's. "I am sorry for my reaction, Alice…Bella. Jacob was several feet behind me and I think my instinctual reaction to protect my back must have kicked in."

At once, Jacob's wolf form melted away to reveal the rippled body of my boyfriend, unabashedly naked. He unfastened his pants from the cord he always wore and pulled them on.

"Behind you?" he scoffed. "You were trying to keep up with _me_, bloodsucker."

Edward's smile was amused. "So you say," he said.

Alice turned to me, relief over the slowly calming situation evident in the way her shoulders relaxed. "Just like I said…I fully expect someone to pee on your leg or mark you sometime today."

***

For the sake of keeping the masculine showboating to a minimum, Alice and I set some ground rules for the rest of the outing. First rule was: No more racing. We were making up the rules as we went along, and didn't have a second rule identified yet because the guys were behaving themselves after their aggressive display. But I could see in the occasional glare they shot one another, and hear in the involuntary grumbles deep in their chests that their control teetered on the brink.

When I slipped my hand into Jacob's warm one, he smiled at me in relief, glad I wasn't angry at him for the moment with Edward. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edward take one step toward me, holding his hand out and opening his mouth to voice some concern, but stop himself before vocalizing. Turning away deliberately, he bounded gracefully forward, putting the distance of a dozen yards between us.

Alice came sidling up to my other side. "It bothers Edward to see you so close to Jacob."

Jacob snorted. "Yeah, I bet."

"No, not like that," she insisted. "He's afraid for her safety. Remember? I was the same way at first."

"But you got over it," I said sadly, before sighing. "Alice, I'm really starting to think you were right. This doesn't seem like it's working out very well." My mood had been souring ever since Jake and Edward's impromptu race, and now the sadness overwhelmed all other emotions.

She seemed sympathetic. "I think it's…okay, Bella." She shot a glance at Jacob.

"Yeah, Bells. It's not that bad. I'll behave, I promise," Jacob said. He stopped to help me over a fallen tree, which Alice bounded over effortlessly. I fell into his arms on the other side, and he gave me a sweet kiss on the tip of my nose before setting me down on my feet.

"So…" Alice began, and I couldn't help but feel a glimmer of my hope reawakening when I saw how Jacob and Alice were getting on. "What do you two have planned for La Push's prom?"

Jacob looked at me and grinned…the first genuine smile from him since we had exited the car at the trailhead. "I wanted to take Bella to a very private restaurant, and then we'll head to the dance. It's nothing fancy…they're holding it at the res community center." Jacob's voice lowered slightly. "And then I was going to take Bella to a special after party."

My face burned as I realized the meaning behind those words. Alice chose that moment to cluck, "That's nice," and then speed up her prancing to catch up with Edward. Jacob and I slowed.

"An after party?" I asked, raising my eyebrow.

"Very exclusive," he murmured.

"Oh, really?"

He nodded. "So exclusive, it's just for two people." His grin was wicked, and he stopped to pull me to him for the first real kiss we had shared that day. As we broke apart, he sighed, "Aah, Bells, I love you."

"Me too," I gave him a quick peck to punctuate it and we continued after the Cullens at a leisurely pace, enjoying the moment, only the two of us.

_Fwap. Fwap. Fwap_. I was distracted by a repetitious noise every time I stepped. Looking down, I saw that my boot had come untied.

"Dang it," I muttered, stopping to crouch and loosen the scraggled half-knot. Jacob continued walking ahead, sidling up to Alice, who was leaning against a rock and watching her brother closely. Edward had broken from our group and remained fifty feet ahead.

I heard Jacob laugh at something Alice had said, and it warmed me where I crouched on the moist earth, struggling with the complicated laces of my hiking boots. Springing to my feet, I scampered toward them to share in their joke.

My boot caught a gnarled root near the edge of the path and I pitched forward in typical Bella clumsiness. The ground rushed up to meet me, but it was covered in wet leaves and I expected a rather soft, but messy, landing.

I never saw the rock.

I landed with a loud, comical "oof," and started laughing at my clumsiness, looking at the three sets of feet suddenly in front of me, before a sharp pain in my left wrist silenced my laughter at once.

"Ouch," I said in surprise.

A trickle of red dripped from the sleeve of my torn jacket.

Many things happened at once, almost too quickly for me to comprehend. Edward violently shoved Jacob away from our group, as Jacob's form began to ripple as he fought against phasing so close to me. Alice and Edward snarled at each other, both fighting the overwhelming bloodlust that my scent brought, but also trying to protect me from the other. Jacob rushed back on four paws, propelling the growling vampires twenty feet with a swipe of his massive head. They landed gracefully and crouched down, facing Jacob now. He pressed his furry form against me, acting as a barrier from Edward and Alice.

The three of them roared at one another, while I cradled my arm and pleaded for calm while my stomach roiled from the rusty smell of my own blood.

Alice was the first to regain her sanity, and her voice rang out above the din. "Bella, how badly are you hurt? Please, Jacob…she's bleeding. I'm not thirsty, I promise." Her hands were clasped in front of her and she vibrated with agitated concern for me.

Jacob's growling lowered slightly.

I felt my vision waver, spots floating in front of the scene. "It's okay, Jake. She's fine."

Jacob's muzzle lowered in reluctant agreement, and Alice flitted around him to my side. Edward started to follow, but was stopped by Jacob's sudden snarl.

Edward sighed angrily. "Fine, mongrel…I'll stay here."

Alice ripped my jacket sleeve away with quick, nimble movements. The gash on my arm was dirty from the rock, and went from my wrist to my mid-forearm. Luckily, it was not deep, and the bleeding was starting to slow. As she worked to rip my useless jacket sleeve into strips she could use to cover the wound, I noticed that Alice was holding her breath.

"I don't think you'll need stitches, Bella," she said cautiously. "But we should get you back home so you can clean it. You don't want an infection." She worked silently for a moment before adding, in a sad voice, "And I suppose we'll have to find you some gloves to wear with your prom dress now."

Her priorities made me smile, even as my gaze was fixed on the tense staredown going on between Jacob and Edward behind her.

Edward was hissing to Jacob in a low voice, and Jacob was responding with angry, careful growls. After a moment, I caught onto their seemingly one-sided conversation. Edward was reading Jacob's mind and my boyfriend was not happy about it.

"I think you're wrong," Edward was saying. "Today is proof that there's something still there…something that won't go away no matter how close you are."

Jacob's responding bark was loud and furious, but still he remained pressed to my side. I struggled to get up off the wet ground, and he turned his attention to me for a moment, nudging my hand with his nose.

"I'm okay, Jake," I said gratefully, but my eyes fixed themselves on Edward's face. "You two need to stop this, please…for my sake."

Jacob whined at my side and nudged me again, and I threaded my fingers through the shaggy russet fur on his neck. I almost understood what he was trying to say — that he was trying to be good, but Edward was making it difficult. With a shaky sigh, I fought back the disappointed tears that prickled my eyes.

"We should probably go," I told him softly. He nodded his massive head, but didn't phase back.

Edward chuckled. "He doesn't trust us enough to turn back into his human form." Jacob responded with a resurging rumble.

Suddenly, the wolf next to me ceased his growls and gave a barking laugh. This time, Edward snarled and took a few steps toward us. Alice positioned herself in front of her brother, glaring angrily at his apparent lack of control.

"Get out of the way, Alice," he responded, his voice calm and dangerous. To Jacob, he growled, "Yes, yes, I know that, dog. You don't have to keep throwing it in my face."

I wondered what Jacob was thinking about to make Edward so upset.

"That's where you're wrong, Jacob. I'm not going to hurt her again," he said, a small smile stretching across his flawless face. He paused, his head cocked slightly to the side. "You, on the other hand…"

Jacob's enraged snarl echoed against the trees and made me jump. He took a step forward, his body twitching with fury and the desire to spring at the vampire in front of him.

"Edward!" I admonished, ignoring the obvious danger and striding to Jacob's side. "Jacob, please."

Edward turned to me, a confident expression decorating his handsome face. He seemed so suddenly sure of himself.

"Bella," he began, his voice imploring me, attempting to dazzle me from a distance. "Sweetie, I know everything now. I know what's going on."

I froze. "And…what _is_ going on?"

He took a few steps toward me but stopped when Jacob raised his muzzle to show his teeth. "You're giving yourself to someone who can never really be yours. He will always have his loyalties elsewhere…to the pack…" He paused. "And to his imprint."

_His imprint_. The words echoed in my ear as I felt my vision go black momentarily.

"What?" my voice was panicked, rising into a shrill shriek. "_What_?!?!" I clung to Jacob's fur as though it were the only thing keeping me grounded. "Jake?"

Edward's confidence faltered at the sight of me so stricken. "I only mean that he may find her someday, and you'll be left with nothing but a broken heart."

I had assumed the worst, of course. The color returned to my vision. _Jacob hadn't imprinted. Our relationship was safe, for now_, I thought, relieved. _Still, the fact that Edward knew my greatest fear_…

The swift rush of air into my lungs felt like a punch as I gasped. _Edward knew everything_…everything Jacob and I had been sworn to keep from the Cullens. He knew that my relationship with Jacob stood on the edge of a knife, and always would as long as his possible imprint was out there. He knew all about the pack secrets, and I cringed when I realized Jacob would be the one to take the brunt from Sam for my stupid oversight. Since Jacob was in his wolf form, there was a good chance they already knew.

Today was a huge mistake.

"Oh, God," I cried, taking a step back away from them, then another. My horror was written on my face. "Oh, Jacob…I…I didn't think…I didn't…" A sob ripped through my words and reverberated in the remote area where we were. "I'm sorry, I was so wrong…"

Alice and Edward started toward me, but before they could, Jacob shimmered back into his human form and rushed to take me in his arms, holding me closely against his warm nakedness, comforting me. I couldn't handle it and pushed him away unsuccessfully.

"No, I can't…" I sobbed. "How could I have done this?"

"Bella…Bella," he repeated my name over and over, pressing his cheek against mine. "I love you…I knew the risks…I could have said no…"

I didn't hear him.

"Jacob…" I heard Edward begin.

"Fuck you, Edward," Jacob raged, still cradling me in his arms. "You said you're not going to hurt her? Well, _look_ at her." His words made me wail even more, proving his point to Edward. "Why can't you let her be happy? Just let her go!"

"I will as soon as she lets go of me," Edward said, failing to keep a note of triumph from his voice. "Until she forces away that piece of me that still occupies her heart, you'll never fully have her. And that means you'll just have to put up with me."

"Her heart belongs to me, leech."

"But what about _your_ heart, Jacob? Who will that belong to someday? How can I give up when I know you'll probably leave her for your imprint, brokenhearted and alone?" Quietly, I heard him add, "I just hope you don't saddle her with a litter of puppies before you walk out on her. Disgusting."

Alice's dismayed cry of "Edward!" was nearly drowned out by the concentrated breathing of Jacob trying to keep his temper under control.

"Enough!" My voice burned my throat as it roared from me. "I need to get out of here," I was half in a panic as I struggled to my feet, wobbling dangerously until Jacob swept me up against him. I felt close to swooning due to the intense fear and crippling dismay running through me.

"Bella?" Edward asked, his voice losing its confidence, shaking in pain.

"Don't," I heard Alice murmur. "I warned both of you, but you didn't listen."

Before Jacob took off through the woods, I heard my own voice rasping out — it felt disconnected from my deadened body. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry," I repeated weakly to anyone who would listen.

***

We arrived back at the car, having been silent the entire way. Jacob put me on my feet gingerly, being careful not to brush my throbbing arm. He kissed my forehead softly before opening my door. I found that I could not meet his eyes. I was ashamed — ashamed that I had exposed the pack secrets without thinking, embarrassed that Edward had acted so rudely, and uncomfortable that Edward's words, "_You'll never fully have her_," rang more true in my heart than I realized. Not because of the threat of imprint…because I refused to fully let go of Edward.

"Bella, what have I told you about looking away from me?" Jacob said softly, ducking his head to try to meet my gaze. "Don't do that, baby…I can't stand it when you don't look at me."

"I'm sorry," I said again, not thinking I could ever say it enough.

He crushed me against him in a vice grip. "Look, I know today wasn't what you were hoping, and maybe it was impossible. I know I certainly didn't help things. But honey, what do you have to be sorry about? He's confusing you, Bella. I know where your heart is, but he's trying to manipulate your memories into something that isn't there anymore." He held me back at arms length. "You love me," he declared confidently.

"I do, Jake…so much."

He pulled me close again. "That's all I need to hear."

"But the pack…"

"Let me handle that," he said. "It isn't up to them anyway…if Sam issues another gag order, he knows I'll break away. I'm tired of us having our personal and family time dictated by his unnecessary obsession with control."

I gasped. "You can't do that, Jake! He's your…your alpha."

"The descendent of Ephraim Black does not answer to a Uley." Jacob sounded reluctant, but firm. "I'm the rightful pack alpha, and if I feel like I need to exercise that authority, I will." He met my eyes. "I won't have him keep me from you again, Bells."

I didn't know what to say, but luckily I didn't have to worry long — Jacob chose that moment to crush his lips against mine. My surprised breath gave him the opening he needed to taste my mouth, claiming me with his tongue. One hand rubbed my hair and massaged the nape of my neck as he held me closely against him. I felt the first sign of his arousal, but he broke away before it could progress any farther.

"I think this day's been kind of a bust, Bella," he said, sounding serious, but then breaking out into an amused chuckle. "What a disaster."

I smiled along with him, even though I didn't find the situation to be amusing in the slightest.

"Come on," he said, helping me into the Rabbit. "Let's get you cleaned up at my house so Charlie doesn't freak out when he sees you."

"This probably wouldn't faze him," I murmured, my mind a million miles away.

"No, I guess you're probably right," he said. Jacob laughed again, and for a moment I envied him and his ability to smile. It wasn't easy to do when everything around me was crumbling.

***

_Author's Note: Readers, I need your help! Now that LN&D is winding down, I'm planning my next fic. I have two good ideas, but I don't know which one to do first. So I'm leaving it up to you guys! In your reviews, let me know which fic you'd like to see me write next!_

_Option #1 - Amishward - A re-telling of Twilight, except instead of being vampires, the Cullens are an Amish-practicing family on the "fringe" of their larger religious community because they go against some of the basic principles. It will follow many of the same scenes (with a lot of the same quotes), but in a totally new way. There are no mountain lions and irritable grizzlies here...just homegrown veggies and sugar cream pie!_

_Option #2 - Homieward - Edward is a baggy-jean-wearin, car-loving homeboy (we used to call them "wiggers," but I know that's very un-PC); Bella is pretty straight-laced and meets this guy and falls for him unexpectedly. He likes her too, but has an image to maintain with his boys. This fic takes place in the mid-1990s, in a world of confused, hormone-riddled teens who like low cars, rap music and Newport cigarettes. It's Twilight meets "Fast and the Furious."_


	29. Chapter 29 An Evening of Surprises

The next week was tense, to say the least. For once, I spent my school days trying to avoid Edward, rather than the other way around. He was being flirtatious and attempting to talk to me about Jacob and imprinting. Alice tried to keep him at bay, and his prom date Tamaria followed him around most of the time, so I was able to evade him for the most part.

I was relieved when Friday rolled around. The La Push prom was that night, and Alice planned to come to my home and help me get ready. Just as I suspected, she had found gloves to go with my dress, to cover up the angry pink skin that was slowly healing on my arm.

Because of the disaster of the previous weekend, I really wanted to have a good time with Jacob, and for once I didn't mind Alice's primping.

"This dress makes your eyes look positively gorgeous," she gushed, helping me fasten the zipper on the back. "Like liquid chocolate."

"Thanks, Alice," I smiled, pulling the gloves on gingerly and glancing in my mirror. I nearly gasped at the vision that peered back at me. Alice had done an amazing job, and I even liked the dress. Deep brown, it was strapless and fitted my slim silhouette perfectly. The front ended below my knees and the back was drastically longer…practically a train. Alice had helped me select some comfortable shoes that wouldn't have me teetering on my weak ankles. The citrine necklace around my neck (borrowed from Rosalie) matched the jewels in my shoes.

Even my hair was perfect. My length was gathered just above the nape of my neck in a wildly organized bunch of curls and looser tendrils. Alice had pinned a few jewels along the side where it twisted into place. I was impressed, and I wondered with a smile how Jacob would react.

"Wow, I look…really good!" I turned to smile widely at Alice. "You're a miracle worker, Alice."

"He'll be here soon," Alice beamed at me, looking me up and down and darting forward to smooth a wayward curl. "I'd better get going…I don't think he'd mind me being here, but I want this night to be perfect for you two." Her granite face barely registered her disappointment that she'd miss my "unveiling." "Have fun, Bella." She kissed my cheek and made her way out of my room and down the stairs. I heard her call, "Bye, Charlie!" on her way out of the door.

I took a shaky breath and sat on the edge of the bed, smoothing my sweaty palms against the purple comforter. I couldn't believe I was nervous! I had been to prom before, and I wasn't nervous about seeing Jacob…but the developments from the previous weekend had rattled me. I didn't want to think about them any more, at least not tonight. But my mind had been a constant barrage of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Edward was persistent in his attention, and I didn't know how to handle it. I knew my feelings for my werewolf boyfriend, but I was still coming to terms with the fact that coexistence between him and Edward would most likely be impossible.

I knew I had to make a tough choice, but I just wanted to delay it as long as possible. I hoped tonight would be a pleasant distraction.

Downstairs, the doorbell rang. I almost laughed at the formality of the situation. Usually, Jacob would walk right in. I strained my ears to hear Charlie opening the door. Their voices were muffled, but I could hear everything.

"Hey Charlie."

"Hello, Jacob," Charlie responded, his "dad" voice in full effect. "You sure look dressed up. What did Billy say when he saw that monkey suit?"

"Something about how I was a 'chip off the ol' block,' or something." They both laughed.

"Did you ever see your parents' wedding photos? Your dad never did rock the ruffled shirt with that tux very well. Looked ridiculous, actually. You look good, kid."

"Thanks. It's kind of comfortable, actually. Well, except for these crazy shoes…"

"Bella's upstairs…I'll go get her."

I stood and stole one more look in the mirror. An excited beauty looked back, her brown eyes twinkling with excitement and nerves.

"Bella?" Charlie called from the foot of the stairs.

I grabbed my handbag and the flower for Jacob's lapel and made my way into the hall and down the stairs. Charlie's eyes widened when he saw me.

"Damn, Bells…you…" He paused, and I saw some unspoken emotion flit across his face. "You look a lot like your mom with your hair like that." I reached the bottom of the stairs and he hugged me. "Except even prettier, I think."

"Thanks, Dad," I whispered, just as surprised at his emotion as he was.

Behind me, I heard Jacob clearing his throat and I turned.

Every anxiety from the past week, every fleeting thought of Edward, every bit of nervousness flew from my mind when I saw him standing there. He wasn't just "sort of beautiful." Jacob was breathtaking. His tall figure filled the doorway to the living room, his feel slightly apart. He was holding a clear plastic container with a simple pink flower corsage and wearing a worn, slightly dated black tuxedo. The vest was the same color black as the coat, and the dark color made his teeth look more brilliant as he beamed at me. I knew I was smiling just as widely.

"Erm," Charlie said, breaking the silence. Jacob and I laughed.

"You look beautiful," Jacob said softly, stepping toward me at the same time I took my first stride toward him. I felt a surge of butterflies in my stomach at the sight of the amazing man in front of me. _My_ man.

"So do you," I said, my voice full of emotion. Charlie squirmed even more uncomfortably in the background.

He held the flowers out to me. "These are for you…we have to follow _all _the customs, right?"

I looked at the flower for him in my hand grimly. "Is one of those customs having your dad pin the flower on the date? Because I think I might kill you with this thing."

Five minutes and several awkward moments later, Jacob was pinned, photos had been snapped and we were ready to leave. Charlie caught me with a quick hug as I walked out of the door. "Have fun, Bells," he said softly, some faraway worry etched on his face. "Be careful, and enjoy the after-prom. Billy told me all about it…I guess I'll see you in the morning."

_I need to thank Billy_, I thought as I hugged Charlie back. He was unwavering in his support of my relationship with his son.

The Rabbit was in our driveway, looking cleaner than I'd ever seen it.

"You washed the car?"

"Anything for you, my sweet," he joked, hurrying ahead to open my door for me.

As he fired the engine, I turned to look at him again. He really was gorgeous all dressed up.

"You didn't have to spend money to get a tux," I told him, running my hand down the arm. "Your new suit would have worked just fine."

"Special occasions call for special clothing," he said. "And I didn't spend any money on this. It belongs to Sam's cousin at the Makah reservation. He loaned it to me in exchange for some work on his Ford Escort. Sorry it's kind of shabby…"

"It's perfect," I told him.

I looked out the window and noticed that Jacob had begun driving back toward La Push.

"Jacob?"

"Hmm?"

"I thought you said we were going to an exclusive restaurant…is there a place on the res that I don't know about?"

Jacob chuckled. "Oh, yes! It's a real hidden gem." I could hear the humor in his voice, so I grinned back and didn't press him further on his secret.

He reached for me, stroking down my forearm and the along my thumb before taking my hand.

"I know I said it before, but I have to tell you again…you look beautiful, Bells." His eyes turned to look at me, and I saw them rake down my body, pausing at the slight swell of my breasts in the dress. "I love the way you look in brown."

"I'm earthy," I joked. "And technically, it's _espresso_...not brown."

His voice lowered. "You look amazing in that dress. But, you'd look even more amazing out of it…"

The boldness of his statement caused my body to react — my cheeks reddened and I felt warmth spread from my stomach across my body. I looked at him as he turned his attention back to the road, and I knew I needed to be with him tonight. Somehow, we'd find a way.

"We're here!" Jacob said suddenly, his smile infectious.

I took my attention from his face to the house where we had pulled up.

"Emily's place?" A thrill of nerves settled in my stomach. I wondered if Sam was home. I hadn't seen any of the pack since the incident with Edward and Alice the previous week. I didn't want to say anything to Jacob, but I was dreading a confrontation. He hadn't said anything more about what had happened, so I didn't know the pack's reaction.

The car rolled to a stop and Jacob squeezed my hand with a smile. He didn't say a word…he just rushed around the car to help me out and pulled me close to him as we made our way to the front door. Inside, there was a flurry of activity and a large table set for eight.

"Bella!" a booming voice called, and I jumped. To my surprise, Paul came in from the kitchen clad in a dark navy suit and gave me a hug, stopping to shake Jacob's hand. "Did you hear my news?"

I knew he was talking about his imprinting with Rachel, Jacob's sister, but I found I couldn't respond. I was too shocked at the personality change in the formerly angst-ridden werewolf. Now, he was positively glowing and shaking with excitement. And in his dressy clothes, he looked very handsome.

Rachel passed by the doorway and he exclaimed, "Rachel!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her over to us. "Isn't it great, Bella?" His words were for me, but his eyes were for the girl at his side. He regarded her as if he had never seen anything so mesmerizing. His eyes shone with a brightness I had never seen on Paul's face. "Amazing," he murmured, looking completely smitten.

Rachel blushed. "It's taken some getting used to, that's for sure," she said. "I can't believe I'm going to a prom again…I thought those days were behind me." She paused to gaze at Paul for a moment before going to the living room.

I smiled and Jacob rolled his eyes dramatically.

"So…what are we all doing here?" I asked.

Jacob's arm snaked around my waist. "Welcome to Chez Wolf," he grinned. "Emily is helping all of us to make dinner for our dates."

My mouth dropped open in a wide, astonished smile. "That's so…sweet!"

Jacob looked pleased that I was so happy. "I'm glad you think so," he murmured, leaning down for our first kiss of the evening, lightly pressing his lips against mine, careful of my makeup. "And speaking of sweet, I'd better help the guys with dessert. They've been here a lot longer than me." He walked me into the living room, where Kim and Rachel sat, along with a pretty, plump girl I didn't recognize. "Dinner will be ready soon," he said, kissing me again and leaving me with the girls.

Kim and Rachel looked beautiful. They were perched on the edge of the couch, sitting stiffly, obviously careful of their pressed dresses and coiffed hair. Their smiles for me were warm, but guarded. Kim cleared her throat uncomfortably, and I knew that they would avoid the difficult conversation for the sake of the ignorant girl next to them. But the conversation was inevitable. After all, I had helped to inadvertently share pack secrets. They were probably furious with me.

If they were, they hid it well.

"Bella! You look beautiful!" Kim's words were warm, as was the hug she offered when she jumped up. Turning to the stranger, she made introductions. "This is Abby…she's a friend of mine, and she's Quil's date for prom."

"Quil's…date?" I started, confused. "But Claire…"

"Can I speak to you for a moment, Bella?" Emily's voice startled me from the doorway.

I murmured a friendly "hello" to Abby and made my way to Emily. She took my hand and led me into one of the small bedrooms across the hall. I gave my friend a wide smile, but she didn't return it, and I felt my stomach drop. _Uh oh_…

"Bella," she said, "you have to be very careful today. Abby doesn't know anything, and neither does anyone at the res school. Quil's not too happy that we convinced him to go to prom, but he couldn't very well take Claire." I nodded my head in understanding. "I know it's tempting to be lax with your conversation because you're around Jacob and his friends, but we have to keep the secret."

I almost felt insulted by her insinuation, but quickly recovered. Emily was only trying to guide me. "If anyone is practiced in keeping secrets like this, it's me," I told her.

"That didn't stop the Cullens from finding out all of ours," she said, and immediately her face registered regret and dispair. I gasped, not expecting such harsh words from her, but knowing that I deserved them. "I'm sorry, Bella…I…didn't mean that."

"No, it's okay," I whispered, my voice pained. "I messed up. It was all my fault." I trembled, knowing that if Emily was this harsh, the rest of the pack must have been furious. "How mad is everyone?"

"Surprisingly, they're not," she said. "I think I was madder than anyone. I saw it as a threat to those I love, but Sam realized that there wasn't much he could have done to keep Edward from finding out everything. I think that Sam also knows he's been overreacting a bit lately, and I know he's scared that Jacob will assert his power as the rightful alpha. He'll do anything to keep the pack from splintering." She shrugged. "You trust the Cullens, though…knowing that makes this easier. They won't do anything with this info, will they?"

I made a face. "Edward might," I admitted, "but not in the way you're thinking. He might try to use it to his advantage to win me back. Before, I would have never thought it possible, but now I think I know he's capable of doing whatever he can to get what he wants."

"And he wants you," Emily's tone registered it as a fact, not a question.

I nodded.

"Wow," Emily looked conflicted, uncertain. "But you're still with Jacob." Again, it was stated as a fact rather than a question.

"Yes. I want to be with Jacob, not Edward."

"Wow," she repeated. "Your first love wants you back, but you choose Jacob…even though he hasn't imprinted on you and might someday with someone else?"

I took a deep breath. "I was hoping not to think about that today," I muttered softly.

Emily regarded me with sad eyes. "Oh, Bella…now I know why the two of you are so careful with each other. I'm sorry it has to be like this. This whole situation…you, Leah…" Her voice wavered and broke off. I reached for her.

"Hey, it's okay," my voice sounded more confident than I felt. "I know what I'm getting into. I'm prepared for the worst."

"I just don't understand why it doesn't happen for you. Sam has told me how intense it is between the two of you. It's like Jacob has already imprinted, he's so devoted. But he just…hasn't."

"Yeah, it sucks, but that's my life," I said, forcing more cheerfulness in my voice than I felt. I plastered a smile on my face. "But enough about all of that. I could obsess about it for days — I _have_ obsessed about it for days before, actually. But tonight is special. It's prom, Emily, and I plan on having a lot of fun with Jacob." I put my arms around her and hugged my fellow wolf girl tightly. "Don't worry about me. You and Sam should take advantage of having four pack members busy to spend some quality time together." As we pulled apart, Emily looked at me with impressed wonder.

"I don't know how you do it, Bella."

I smiled, thinking about all that she did for the pack, putting all of them before herself. "I could say the same about you."

A loud crash sounded from the kitchen, followed by Jared's uneasy call of, "umm, Emily?" We both chuckled and I went back in to take my seat next to Kim in the living room.

**

"I'm absolutely stuffed, Jake," I groaned as he turned the polished old Volkswagon onto the road from Emily's driveway. "That meal was just perfect. The steak was amazing, and I've never had grilled polenta before! Way better than going to a restaurant!"

He beamed at me and patted his own stomach through the tux. "Who would have thought that the guys and I would be so good at cooking?"

"Well, you did have a lot of help from Emily," I pointed out. "That was so sweet of her. I especially liked that bread pudding you all made for dessert!"

"That was my idea," Jacob said proudly. "It was my mom's recipe. I wanted to make it for you and for Rachel. I guess I was feeling nostalgic." His smile faded slightly and he stammered for a moment. "Speaking of nostalgia…well, there's a lot on my mind, Bella. It's…it's days like today that I miss Embry most of all." I was surprised by his sudden emotion, and he sucked in a ragged breath. "Prom would be so much fun with him along. Today, at Emily's, he would have been in there with us, probably making a mess of everything." His jaw clenched and I ran my hand comfortingly across his knee.

"Oh, Jake," I murmured.

We were quiet for several minutes, the hum of the car on the road the only sound between us. The road curved left and right, and we passed an occasional house on our way to the dance. The sun had started to set — it was twilight. The reservation looked even more beautiful as it passed by my car window.

"They're going to be naming him as the honorary prom king tonight," Jacob said softly, still thinking of his dead friend. "I want to at least stick around for that. But we can leave whenever you want."

"We'll play it by ear," I said casually as we pulled into the parking lot of the Quileute Tribal Center. A few strands of twinkling lights wrapped around the railings leading up to the entrance. I could see an explosion of silver and black balloons and streamers waiting to greet us inside.

Jacob and I looked at each other, amused, and both said, "here we go," at the same time before laughing. He exited the car and hurried around to open my door for me.

"Such a gentleman," I teased, brushing myself against him as I stood.

He leaned into my neck and inhaled. "This gentleman is thinking some pretty ungentlemanly thoughts right now, Bella." His lips brushed my neck softly and I hummed in contentment before a shout interrupted our private moment.

"Hey Black, Swan…get a room," Jared called. I heard Kim slap him on the arm and rebuke his interference. Jacob had a mischievous look in his eye as he met Jared's glance and made a gesture at him.

The moment over, Jacob offered me his arm and I took it gratefully. Even on shorter heels, I was slightly unsteady. We made our way with our group of friends into the tribal center, to a large multi-purpose auditorium decked out in generic prom finery. I rolled my eyes and Jacob grinned at me as we stopped beneath the balloon arch for a photo. The sounds of No Doubt blared from the speakers and dozens of couples were moving on the covered basketball court doubling as a dance floor.

"This will be great, I promise," Jacob leaned and whispered in my ear. "But not as great as what I have planned for later."

A thrill ran down my spine and made me shiver. I squeezed his arm and raised my eyes to his face. He was gazing at me with dark eyes, and I suddenly couldn't wait for the dance to be over.

The four wolves led their ladies over to the refreshment table and immediately grabbed some pretzels and punch. Kim and I shared an amused glance while Abby looked horrified watching Quil shovel food in his mouth.

We moved off to the side and took in the entire scene. As song after song played, many of Jacob's school friends I hadn't met came over to introduce themselves. I smiled and shook their hands, but I was continuously distracted by Jacob's long fingers twirling an errant curl of my hair, or running up my shoulder to my neck. His other arm remained around my waist firmly. Outkast's "Hey Ya," began and Kim squealed and practically dragged Jared into the dancing melee. Rachel and Paul kept inching back into the corner of the auditorium and began making out as I tried to keep Jacob's back to them, so he wouldn't notice and get angry.

Abby kept looking at Quil hopefully, but Quil maintained at least a foot of distance between the two of them. I tried to converse with the girl, hoping to keep her mind off the fact that her date wasn't attracted in the least. I felt sorry for her. She didn't seem interested in talking with me, her eyes never leaving her "date." I couldn't help chuckling at her focus and persistence. Quil had no idea what he was in for.

Finally, a slower song came on and the lights dimmed. Paul and Rachel came up for air, making their way out of the corner and onto the dance floor. Quil struck up a conversation with another friend from school while Abby hovered behind his shoulder, looking bored.

"Would you like to dance?" Jacob's breath was hot on my ear and I jumped. Not waiting for me to respond, he enveloped my hand in his and led me to the outskirts of the growing crowd of swaying couples. We reached an open spot and he wrapped me in his arms as I reached up for him. His hand inched down to my lower back and he pressed me against him closely. I breathed him in, and tilted my head up so I could enjoy his handsome face.

He took that as an invitation to kiss me. His warm lips were unexpected, but welcome. Slowly, our mouths went from pressing softly against one another to yearning more. Jacob parted his lips and I welcomed the delicious taste of his tongue. We were lost in each other, our bodies swaying slowly while our mouths did the majority of the dancing.

I felt the first stirrings of his erection against my stomach, and Jacob broke away with a gasp, breathing quickly. My cheeks pinked. "Jacob," I breathed, wanting him to know that I was as aroused as him.

"I need to be careful of my reactions around you, Bells," he moaned, backing away an inch or two. "I want you so much, honey…" He broke off to run his fingers through his ragged hair, attempting to calm his hormones. "But we have all night."

"We do?" my voice was huskier than I meant it to be, and Jacob moaned again.

He pulled me close for one more kiss. "Yes, baby…all night."

**

Very few dry eyes were left when the ceremony for prom king ended. Looking around the room, it warmed my heart to see how much Embry had been loved and respected by his peers and teachers. Jacob and Quil had gone on stage to accept the crown as substitutes for their dead friend. Quil was planning to take the crown to Embry's parent's home the next day.

Kim clung to me and I supported her as quiet tears slipped down her cheeks. My eyes were remarkably tear-free as I tried to stay strong for Jacob, because I knew he didn't want to get overly emotional in front of his peers. He and Quil looked uncomfortable standing up in front of the young crowd, especially when one of the chaperones handed him a microphone.

"Um," his hesitant voice echoed from the speakers. "I know that Embry would have enjoyed this honor if he were still with us." Jacob's mouth twitched with a sad smile. "He probably would have used it to try and pick up girls or something." Next to him, Quil laughed, and I saw them both relax. "He was always there for all of us, more than many of you might know. He was a good guy…a good friend." Jacob paused for a moment. "And he wouldn't have wanted us to stop the party for anything…so let's have some fun!"

A few cheers rang up from the crowd, along with applause, and the music kicked in again. I smiled to myself — Jacob's words had been perfect. He wove through the melee, people patting him on the back and complimenting his speech.

As soon as he reached me, he pulled me close to him. Kim relinquished her grip on my arm. "I'm ready to go…are you ready?"

"Now?" I was surprised at the abruptness of his request.

"People are just going to want to come up and talk about Embry now," Jacob said, surveying the crowd. Sure enough, a few people were starting to make their way over to him. "I don't think I can handle it, Bella. I'm hanging on by a thread here."

I was surprised because he seemed to handle the speech so well, but when studying him more closely in the dim lights, I saw that his eyes were glistening with unfallen tears.

"Okay…let's get out of here." I grabbed his arm and we began walking to the entrance as a cheesy love song began to play. Kim and Jared were several feet behind us, and I noticed that she was supporting him just as I was for Jacob.

We stopped in the doorway to the auditorium for a moment, letting our friends catch up. I turned to Jacob in concern. He had slowly regained control of his emotions and was taking deep breaths. Finally, he smiled at me.

"Thanks, Bells, I feel better now. You didn't want to stay in there longer, did you?"

I snorted. "Are you kidding? I mean, it was fun…but dances have never been my thing…" Jacob silenced me with a sudden kiss, leaving my face flushed when he pulled away.

"Are you okay now?" I asked, still worried about him. "Is there anything I can do?"

He put his arms around me. "All I need is to get lost in you," he rasped close to my ear as ticklish waves cascaded from the spot where his lips and breath grazed. "That will make me feel better more than anything else." He kissed my cheek gently. "Are you ready?" I nodded, wide-eyed, my heart skipping. He looked up at Jared, who was holding Kim just as closely to himself.

"I have your key in my car," Jared said to Jacob, mysteriously. Kim and I shared a puzzled look. "Let's walk out and get it. I made sure we wouldn't be near each other."

Jacob snorted. "Thank God for that." He and Jared laughed.

"What key? Jared, what's going on?" Kim asked.

Jared and Jacob grinned at each other. "You'll see, babe…just you wait."

Jacob offered me his arm once again and we waved goodbye to Quil and to Paul and Rachel, who were inside taking a break from the dancing and snacking. Paul made a lewd gesture with his hands and I blushed at the insinuation. We made our way outside. The cool night air was refreshing on my skin after the stuffy air of the auditorium, with all of the bodies packed inside and my warm werewolf close against me.

Jared's car was not far from the main entrance, so we got there in no time. I tried to catch a glimpse of what they were doing, but I didn't see what it was he covertly passed to Jacob. I did hear him say, "thirty-three," quietly. I was curious, but I trusted that whatever surprise Jacob had in store would be wonderful.

"Get in the car, Kim," Jared said, the smile in his voice evident. "We have a short drive."

"Us too, Bells," Jacob said, squeezing my hand in excitement. "Let's go!" He swept me up in his arms, bridal-style, and sprinted toward his car as I squealed. In no time at all, he had me buckled in and we were on our way.

To my surprise, the car ride only lasted mere minutes — just long enough for us to go down the road to the Quileute-run Ocean-side Resort. Jacob parked in a spot near the long row of private ocean-front cabins and turned to me with a smile.

"Jared's dad is the head of maintenance for the resort," Jacob said. "He's also like my dad…pretty understanding of Jared and Kim's relationship. So he was able to reserve two cabins with no charge. Jared and Kim have a cabin all to themselves for the night." He licked his lips and his eyes darkened. "And so do we."

"Number 33?" I whispered.

"Number 33," he replied, his voice taking on a familiar timbre that I recognized immediately.

Silently, we both exited the car and walked to the door of the cabin. It was at least 20 feet away from other cabins on either side…we would be truly alone. _This is so much better than a hotel room_, I though.

The interior of the cabin was beautiful. It was small, but had gorgeous wood walls and impressive, high ceilings. There were only four rooms – a small, tastefully decorated living room, a small eat-in kitchen, a bedroom with a wall of windows that faced the ocean, and a surprisingly large bathroom that featured a Jacuzzi bathtub that faced another large window with an ocean view.

I stood in the doorway to the bathroom and stared at the tub, and Jacob came up behind me and gently swept my curls from my shoulder and placed a soft kiss on the sensitive curve. "Do you like it?" he asked, his mouth brushing against my skin with his words.

"So much," I breathed, tilting my head and enjoying his worship of my neck.

"I was hoping you would," he said, sweeping me up again and carrying me around and into the bedroom. "Tonight is special…it's our night. I'm going to take my time with you, Bella. Nothing else matters except that we're here, and we're alone…" He set me gently on the bed and gazed at me in adoration.

"And we're in love," I murmured, reaching up and grabbing the lapel of his tux and pulling him down on top of me.

The cloth of his jacket was soft against my naked collarbones, and I wrapped my arms around his back and held him to me as we met, our mouths eager. His tongue massaged my upper lip slowly as I pulled his full lower lip gently with my teeth. We remained locked in that embrace for several minutes, breaking away to trail kisses along jaw lines and brows. My lips were deliciously swollen from use when Jacob finally shifted to lay beside me.

"Stand up, Bella," his voice reverberated with the subtle growls that were always present when we were intimate with each other. I eased off the bed, never breaking eye contact with him.

"Jake…" my voice was breathless.

"Turn around."

Trembling with anticipation, I obeyed. Jacob sat up on the edge of the bed and reached for me.

"Hold still…keep your hands down."

He reached up and carefully plucked the jewels from my hair, releasing the few pins that kept my hair twisted up. My curls fell onto my shoulders and he stroked the length of it on his way to lower areas.

His warm hands grasped my waist on either side, just above my hips. I could feel his skin searing me through the cloth of my dress. He maneuvered me until I stood between his legs, facing the doorway. Firmly, Jacob ran his strong fingers back and forth around the smallest part of my waist, then down my hips on either side to the front of my thighs. Slowly, he eased them up my legs and brushed them gently past the sides of my groin before sweeping them around my waist again. He was frisking me.

His hands crept around my waist again to my stomach, and finally inched higher and higher until he was cradling my breasts in his hand, brushing his palms against my rapidly hardening nipples.

"Jacob," I moaned, fighting the urge to cover his hands with my own.

"Hold still," he repeated, running his hands back around my rib cage and stopping at the top of my dress's zipper. With excruciating slowness, he eased the zipper down, the sound of each parting hook louder than I ever remember a zipper to be. When he reached the bottom, he started back at the top and grazed his fingers down the newly exposed skin of my back, stopping at my panties. Taking both hands, he placed them on my shoulder blades and pushed my dress frontward, off my shoulders until it fell to a pile at my feet.

"You're not wearing a bra," he whispered, running his hands back around my ribcage to hold the soft skin in his hands. Only pausing there for a second, he took my waist in his grasp once again, toying with the edge of my panties. "You're not going to be wearing underwear here in a second." Instead of pulling them down like I expected, he grasped the delicate fabric in his large hands and ripped them right off of me. The cloth fell in useless tatters on top of my discarded dress. I gasped as he cupped my bottom and then quickly turned me around so I was facing him, completely nude.

"Jacob," was all I could think to say as his eyes devoured me.

Without a word, he reached for me and pulled me closely against his seated form. My breasts were at face level, making it easy for his lips to wrap around the sensitive nubs. His tongue flicked out and tickled the hardened peaks at the very tip, causing my legs to tremble and my hips to press forward, seeking friction. He obliged, reaching forward to cup my sex in his practiced hand, knowing exactly how I liked to be touched.

"Bella, you're so wet," he moaned against my breast as he rubbed up and down my slit, spreading my juices and coating his large fingers before sliding one inside of me. I bucked against his hand and he wriggled his palm against my clit, pressing firmly.

He added a second finger at the same time as he pushed his face away from my breasts. I moaned in a mix of pleasure and objection.

"Don't worry, Bella…I'm not going to neglect those beautiful breasts." The hand that wasn't buried in my crotch reached up and began to gently pinch my nipples. "I want to see you when you come."

"Yes," I moaned, feeling my muscles tightening in my center, squeezing around his fingers as I got closer to my release. "Jacob…yes."

"You're so beautiful, Bella…I love you. I love you so much…come for me."

"Yes!" His words did me in, and my entire body shuddered as I peaked. "Jacob, I love you." He kept his hand between my legs but his other arm wrapped around my waist to support me as my legs wavered weakly. Slowly, he withdrew his fingers and pulled me down onto his lap.

"Pink…" he chuckled. "Your skin…the most gorgeous pink…"

I buried my face in the curve of his neck as my heartbeat steadied. "I love you," I said softly when I found my voice again.

"I know," he grinned, before standing up with me in his arms. "Come on…let's get you in that bathtub. You need to relax those muscles…because I'm not done with you yet."

**

Ten minutes later, I drowsed against the strong jets of the bathtub, immersed in total darkness. The view from the window was breathtaking…the moon a large crescent reflecting on the calm waters of the Pacific. Jacob had filled the bathtub and left me alone in the hot water, going back into the bedroom for a few minutes.

I heard a sound at the doorway and turned to see Jacob standing there, naked except for a too-small towel wrapped underneath the sculpted "v" of his lower abdomen.

"Is there room in there for me?"

"Of course," I smiled at him through heavily lidded eyes. Unabashedly, he removed his towel and set it gently at the corner of the tub, on the opposite side of where I reclined. I ogled his muscular form brazenly as he lowered himself into the water.

"Ahhh, that's good," he groaned, closing his eyes in bliss. After a moment he opened his eyes and met my gaze. "Give me your foot, Bells." I obliged without delay and he began to knead them firmly, rubbing away the soreness my heels had caused. I couldn't help the whimper that escaped my throat.

"Mmm, Jacob," I mumbled, overwhelmed by the soothing sensations of the water, the jets, and Jacob's amazing massage. My eyes rolled back and I closed them, leaning my head back against the edge of the tub.

"Don't fall asleep just yet, Beautiful," Jacob tickled my arch teasingly. "I have plans."

I pulled my foot back out of his hand and pushed off the edge, seeking a closer spot until I lay on top of him in the water, my bare chest pressing against his. "Plans?"

His eyes flashed and I felt the vibrations of his rumble against my heated, wet nipples. I pressed against him harder and tilted my head up until I could place a soft, chaste kiss on his chin. I paused there while we looked at one another, expressing so much with our eyes. Slowly, we eased together and kissed, building urgency with every sweep of our tongue. Our teeth clicked once, and Jacob wrapped his arms around my back tightly, bear hugging my naked form to him. His erection nudged my thigh.

"God, Jake…I want you so much," I wheezed, partly because our kisses had rendered me breathless and partly because Jacob held me against him so tightly. "I don't think I'll ever not want you." I wiggled loose from his grip so I could adjust my position, straddling him in the water. I reached down and positioned him at my entrance. Jacob stopped me with his strong arms.

"Bella?"

"You can pull out before you come, right?" I asked, my voice sounding pleading. I needed him _now_. He nodded, his eyes wide, and I put my hands on his chest for balance and carefully sank down onto him, inch by inch. "Oooohhhh," I moaned deeply in my throat as he filled me. Jacob's hands gripped my hips, warmer than the warm water of the Jacuzzi.

I began sliding up and down, bending forward so my breasts brushed against the muscles of his abdomen and chest.

"Bella, you can't understand how good this feels," he growled, helping me in my motions by manipulating my hips. I sped up; the only sounds in the room our erratic breathing and the splashes of the bubbling water. Jacob leaned forward and ran his tongue from my collarbone up the side of my neck and along my jaw line until he captured my lips with his again. I moaned into his mouth as he began thrusting his hips upward with every bounce.

"Oh!" I cried out, the burning in my center more intense than the burning in the muscles of my thighs. But I kept going, reveling in the heated slickness of my skin on Jacob, the water adding a new, different sensation. Hearing Jacob's growls and groans spurred me on even more. Water began sloshing over the sides of the large tub as I moved faster and faster, feeling my climax on the horizon.

"Bella," Jacob's voice was strained. "It's too good, it's so fucking amazing…" His legs were rigid and tense beneath me. "God, baby…please." I slammed down on him a few more times and felt his grip on my hips tighten. The muscles in my pelvis tightened, deliciously close to release.

Suddenly, I was pulled up so I straddled Jacob's torso. Beneath me, I could feel his hips continuing to thrust as he orgasmed.

It took me a moment to comprehend what had happened, and I almost cried out in disappointment as the fire in my center flickered and began to dim. Jacob would have none of that, though. Only a few seconds passed before he flipped me over and leaned me back against the side of the tub, cradling my bottom in his hands and holding me up so I was practically floating on the water. Without pause, he lowered himself and began suckling on my clit, stopping to savor my essence with several long, languid licks.

"Jacob!" I cried, throwing my head back involuntarily as his warm tongue circled my swollen nub and flicked at it expertly. I reached down and grabbed a handful of his hair, holding on lest I collapse in bliss. The fire roared back, starting in my groin and slowly spreading up into my belly. "Aah, ahhhhh, yesssss," I hissed just before I exploded, pressing my center against his face as hard as I could as I was consumed by waves.

My fingers tingled as I came down from my peak, and I ran them lovingly through Jacob's wet hair. He gently lowered me, and then grasped me tightly to him, murmuring words of love and many other things that I couldn't focus on in the afterglow of my orgasm.

I giggled, overcome with happiness. "I love you too, Jake."

He continued to whisper in my ear, more urgently this time and finally I heard the words, "life" and "forever."

"Wait, what are you saying?" I asked, pulling away so I could look into his eyes, which burned with an intensity I had never seen before.

"Marry me, Bella."


	30. Chapter 30 Decisions

_My fingers tingled as I came down from my peak, and I ran them lovingly through Jacob's wet hair. He gently lowered me, and then grasped me tightly to him, murmuring words of love and many other things that I couldn't focus on in the afterglow of my orgasm._

_I giggled, overcome with happiness. "I love you too, Jake."_

_He continued to whisper in my ear, more urgently this time and finally I heard the words, "life" and "forever."_

_"Wait, what are you saying?" I asked, pulling away so I could look into his eyes, which burned with an intensity I had never seen before._

_"Marry me, Bella."_

***

"Excuse me?" I stammered, truly believing my ears were playing tricks on me. There was no way Jacob had actually just said…

"Marry me, Bella…I…I want you to be my wife," Jacob looked terrified and exhilarated.

I pushed away from him in shock. "Jacob, get serious. With everything we're going through…that isn't a funny way of joking with me."

He followed my retreating form to the other side of the Jacuzzi. "I'm not joking, sweetheart. I'm completely serious. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, marry you." He gestured around him. "I planned this entire evening for a specific reason…I wanted to give you this." He reached for the towel he had discarded earlier and pulled out a worn blue velvet box.

My heart stopped, and I felt dangerously close to hyperventilating. I opened my mouth and closed it again, forgetting for a moment how to form words. I grabbed his wrist, stopping him from opening the little box that I knew held a ring. "Jake…we're just kids…you're just 16." My eyes were wide in unexplainable panic. "This is crazy...we're just kids!" I repeated again.

Through his disappointment over my reaction, the smallest sign of amusement flickered in Jacob's eyes. "Bells, first of all, you know that I'm only technically 16, right? Physically and mentally, I'm at least 25. But regardless, I'm not saying we should get married tomorrow."

"You're not?" my voice squeaked. "What are you saying?"

He took my hand in his own and gazed deeply in my eyes. "I'm saying that I've made up my mind, Bella. You're the only one for me. Not now, but someday, I want to marry you. I want you to say you'll be mine. And I want you to wear this." He opened the box before I could protest and I couldn't help looking at what was inside. I gasped at the simple ring nestled in the satin.

It was a minimal, cloudy purple stone set in a gold setting unlike any I'd ever seen. It had intricate carvings along the entire band and surrounding the gem. It was unique and beautiful, and definitely one-of-a-kind.

"Jacob…" I said softly, not wanting to get his hopes up but desperately wanting to touch the ring.

He looked uncertain for the first time all evening. "I know it's not anything fancy or flashy," he said. "It was my grandmother's engagement ring. The amethyst was found by my grandfather right here in La Push, and he designed the band."

"Oh, that's not it…the ring is gorgeous," I gushed, looking at it with longing. "I just…well, you kind of took me by surprise with this proposal, Jacob."

"Do you not want to marry me?"

"I do, or…I mean…I want to be with you too, Jake," I babbled, trying to organize my thoughts. "But marriage? I've never really thought about it."

He looked crestfallen. "Why not?"

I chose my words as carefully as possible, trying to keep my emotions in check, but feeling my chin starting to tremble. "Everything is so uncertain. I know I want to be with you, and I will be…as long as you'll have me. But it's hard enough knowing that someday you could leave me completely alone, under no fault of your own. Marriage just adds a whole bunch of legal and family issues into the situation as well. And if the day ever comes when you imprint, I'll be devastated enough without having to worry about joint bank accounts and stuff."

Jacob was quiet, contemplating what I had said. Finally, he shook his head. "No, I refuse to give up any bit of our happiness over 'what if's.' This is how I feel…I want you to be Mrs. Bella Black, and I'm not going to give up until you are." He leaned closer, as if preparing to share a secret. "I can be even more stubborn than you, Bells."

Finally, I eased. "That's true, you are pretty persistent."

Common sense was screaming at me to protect myself from even more unnecessary hurt, but my heart ached to accept. I didn't know what to do until I heard Jacob's small voice say, in a hurt tone, "this isn't how I dreamed it would go…in my dream, you were smiling. You wouldn't stop smiling."

"Oh, baby…" I started, sliding my arms around him and tilting my head up to give him a reassuring kiss. And before my mind had truly contemplated the pros and cons of accepting, I heard myself say, "Of course I'll marry you."

He pulled back in shock. "You will?"

And suddenly it was like I weighed ten pounds lighter. My heart rejoiced and I felt nothing but happiness.

"Yes, Jacob…I'll marry you." And for good measure, I added, "Screw fate!"

Jacob's hands trembled as he took the ring out of the velvet box. It didn't look like a traditional engagement ring, so I knew I'd be able to wear it without raising any suspicions. And, I could get by without having to explain it to Charlie. I held up my hand and he slid it on me, echoing my sentiments with a whispered, "Screw fate."

Something flashed in Jacob's eyes as he gazed at the ring on my hand. He looked proud and triumphant. I smiled at him and waved my fingers, realizing how much he enjoyed the sight. The small amethyst glinted and the gold caught the moonlight. Before I knew what was happening, Jacob had his arms around me and I was flying through the air, water from the Jacuzzi dripping everywhere. I never had time to be cold, because Jacob had me on my back on the bed in mere seconds, covering me with his hot flesh.

I barely heard the ripping of foil before I felt the heat of his erection filling me. I screamed in surprise and pleasure, wrapping my legs around his thrusting hips. His body completely possessed me — I was at his mercy.

"Bella!" he cried out, lifting his head from my shoulder to find my lips with his.

My breathing became louder as the friction of our bodies moving in sync began to overwhelm me. "You feel so good, Jake."

His hands snaked down and underneath me to grasp my bottom, lifting my hips to meet every plunge. I had never felt him so deeply inside of me, and it didn't take long for me to come unraveled, crying his name with every muscular spasm of my orgasm.

"Mmm, I can feel you coming," Jacob rasped in my ear. "It's amazing." His hands began to squeeze the soft flesh of my rear as he sped up his thrusting. "It's going to make me…ungh!"

"It's your turn now, Jacob…come for me. Please."

"Oh, God!" he shouted, roaring as his member twitched inside of me, spilling his seed into the condom. "Bella, Bella, Bella…you're everything to me…everything."

"Jacob…" I moaned, rubbing my hand with his ring against his strong back and shoulder. "I know. And I'm yours…I will love you forever."

And I meant every word.

***

Several hours later, I awoke to light filtering in through the large bedroom window and a quiet knocking on the door. Jacob was curled around my naked body, his arm thrown around my torso, covering my breasts. Our legs were entwined. I was so comfortable; I convinced myself that the knocking had just been my imagination.

Until I heard the knock again, this time accompanied by a hissed, "Bella, Jacob…it's time to go!"

I sat up and looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. 10:17 a.m. Jacob and I had finally gone to sleep at 3 a.m. after making love twice more, but I thought we would have woken up earlier than this.

"Guys," Kim's voice came through the door again. "Jared said that housekeeping is going to be coming around really soon. We need to be out before that."

I detangled myself from my stirring werewolf and wrapped the comforter around myself. Making my way to the door, I cracked it open to see a rumpled and sleepy Kim grinning at me.

"Hey there, hooker," she laughed, as I made a face at her typical crudeness. "You look thoroughly fucked."

Jared peeked from around her and I jumped, tightening the blanket. "Morning, Bella… Nice!" He motioned toward my state of semi-dress. "I'll have to try to stay out of Jacob's thoughts later."

I ignored the burning in my cheeks. "So, what's the plan?"

"Kim's going to take you home…to keep up appearances," Jared said, smirking. "Speaking of appearances, you might want to look at yours before you leave." He put an arm around his tired girlfriend's waist. "We'll be at the car."

I closed and locked the door, not wanting to leave this little bubble of bliss that Jacob and I had found the previous night, but knowing that facing the real world again was inevitable.

When I returned to the bedroom, I found Jacob already awake and half dressed. I went straight to him, letting the comforter drop. He smiled, his eyes flickering down my body. He sat down on the edge of the bed, and I climbed on his lap, straddling him.

"Insatiable…that's what you are," he grinned, kissing me gently.

I deepened the kiss, and then moved to brush my mouth against his cheek and ear. "I wish we didn't have to leave yet," I groaned, wriggling myself against him through his pants.

He growled. "Bella, I would love nothing more than to take you again, right now…but if we don't leave, Charlie will start to worry, housekeeping will catch us here, and I'll be late to start my 24-hour patrol. Leah's probably exhausted and grumpy by now, and needs to be relieved."

I pouted, climbing off of him and grabbing my wrinkled dress and shoes. "Crap," I said, finally catching a glance at myself in the mirror. My makeup was smeared all over my face and my hair resembled a wild, brown bird's nest. I smoothed it back as best I could and wrapped a hair tie around it. Running to the bathroom, I splashed some cold water on my face and wiped off as much of the makeup as I could.

Jacob came to the doorway of the bathroom, looking over at the tub with a smug smile, obviously remembering the previous night. "Are you planning on wearing that dress tonight?"

I had completely forgotten about Fork's prom that night. "Oh, double crap!" I cried, holding up the rumpled brown fabric. "Alice is going to kill me!"

He laughed and came up behind me to kiss my neck. "She wouldn't dare break the treaty," he joked.

I stepped into the dress and Jacob zipped it for me. "I look presentable," I grumbled, tucking a loose curl behind my ear and regarding my reflection critically.

"You look beautiful," Jacob said, lifting my hand and kissing the new ring on my fourth finger. "Let's get going, Bella. We have the rest of our lives waiting."

His words made me smile, but they also reminded me of my familiar worry. "I certainly hope so," I said, turning to give him one last kiss before we had to leave our private little world...a world where there were no complications. No imprinting, no pack responsibilities, and no Edward.

***

_Author's Note: See? I promised I wouldn't make you wait too long before I updated! And I meant it! This chapter is short, but it accomplishes everything I needed to before I start writing the last two chapters._

_A few people questioned if Bella will get pregnant because of them using the ineffective "pull out" technique. No, she won't. If you guys understand menstrual cycles, then she's pretty close to starting her period again, so her ovulation has already passed. I know, WAY too much TMI…but I figured I needed to clarify._

_Enjoy, and review. I read and appreciate each and every one!_


	31. Chapter 31 The Ties that Bind

"Isabella Swan!" Alice's voice screeched over the phone, and I held it away from my head to minimize the damage to my eardrum. "I told you to get two dresses! Prom is in a matter of hours, you know…and I'm not a miracle worker. I don't even want to know what happened to it."

"It's just really wrinkled, Alice. I'd press it, but I don't think the fabric would do well under a hot iron." I tried to add some sorrow to my voice. "Please? This might be the only time when I'll ever ask you to do a makeover."

She sighed dramatically. "How soon can you be over here?"

"Let me just say goodbye to Charlie and grab my overnight bag."

Charlie had been relatively good-natured about me stumbling in only a few hours earlier, with an equally exhausted Kim at my side. Once we had answered all of the typical parental questions — yes, we had fun; no, we didn't drink — Kim hugged me goodbye and went home for some shuteye. I envied her as I crashed on my own bed, knowing I would have to wake up in only a few hours and beg my vampire best friend for her beauty services.

Charlie seemed more cautious about this prom, asking me more questions.

"Is Edward going to be at this dance?" he finally asked me point-blank, his face stern but his concern shining through. I appreciated his protectiveness, but I didn't have time to try to explain my current emotions about Edward — I still couldn't quite figure it out myself.

"Yes, dad…he has a date," I said, grabbing some string cheese and an apple for the ride over, unconsciously trying to keep my left hand with the ring from catching his eye. "I'm going with Alice. It's a girl's night. No boys allowed," I added for good measure.

"Well, okay," he seemed reluctant. "Are you sure you don't want to come home after the dance, Bella? Or go to the school's after-prom?" I shook my head no and he sighed. "Well, be careful…I know what happens after these dances sometimes."

"Dad," I started. "Nothing's going to happen. Just a typical slumber party with Alice. Although, I may have to watch a really girly movie or something." I laughed and shuddered dramatically.

Charlie seemed to relax. "Dr. and Mrs. Cullen know you're spending the night, right?" I nodded. "Okay, Bells. Have fun, and I want you home by lunch tomorrow. You need to catch up on sleep and homework."

"I will…don't worry."

"Be careful, Bells."

"Always am," I said with a grin, echoing his typical reassurance.

My grin slowly faded as I made my way to the Cullen house. The ring on my finger seemed to get heavier and heavier the closer I got. I knew I would have to answer some tough questions tonight, and I was steeling myself for it. Somehow, I had the feeling that tonight was going to be very unusual.

I was so lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed when I passed right by the obscure turn-off for their driveway. "Damn!" I exclaimed, slowing to a halt and putting the truck in reverse. I really needed to convince them to make their driveway more obvious for mere humans like myself.

Alice was waiting for me when I rumbled up into the clearing by the house. She opened my door and practically carried me inside, she was so eager to get started. Her hair was already pinned up in sleek, tiny curls around the nape of her neck, by her ears and on her forehead. Each curl was secured by a pearl pin.

"Bella, your hair," she wailed, lifting one scraggly curl and dropping it. "You get in the shower and tame this mess while I pick out a few dresses from Esme's closet. You're closest in size to her."

The heat of the water helped to lift me out of the fog of sleepiness I was in. The four showerheads didn't hurt either — I loved Alice's shower. I borrowed her lilac shampoo and body scrub and made quick time of it. Vampires were impatient, and I preferred it when Alice didn't hover over my shoulder to hurry me along.

I wrapped the fluffy towel around myself and ran a brush through my clean and moisturized locks. In all honesty, I wasn't looking forward to tonight, but I would try to have fun for Alice's sake. She and I never got to have fun together anymore.

I heard a soft knock at the bedroom door and had to laugh because Alice never usually cared about my privacy. I tiptoed over and opened it, saying, "Alice…"

Edward stood there, already dressed in his tux, his eyes and mouth wide with surprise. I squealed and wrapped the towel around myself more tightly as he stood there in shock.

"Oh! Sorry…I…uh," he stammered, unable to tear his gaze from my body. "I thought you were Alice coming to the door. I smelled lilac…" His voice trailed off. "I'll come back." And in a flash, he was gone. I closed the door again, red-faced.

Yes, tonight would be very unusual indeed.

***

"Edward's already left to get little miss Tamaria in the Vanquish, so we're going to have the Volvo. Maybe I'm a sadist, but I'm curious how their date will go…should be _interesting_," Alice said, taking one more glance in the mirror. She was flawless in her black satin dress, channeling some 1920's sophistication with the ensemble. She had outfitted me with a simple lavender dress that Esme had once worn to a hospital gala, and straightened my hair, putting small braids throughout, with purple ribbon woven in. They matched the ballet flats that she had put on me, with ribbon that laced up on my ankles.

"Now, let's accessorize you."

"Do we have to?" I asked in a defeated tone. "I think I look fine."

"Well, I don't think you need a necklace, but definitely some earrings and a bracelet." Flashing over to her dresser, she was back before I could retort. "Oh, these will go perfectly."

I slipped the bracelet on and took the earrings from her, just wanting to get the primping over with so we could go and hang out. I was putting in one earring when she stopped me with a touch of her cold hand.

"Bella, what's that?" She pointed to my ring. "I noticed it earlier…I've never seen you wear it before."

My blushing face betrayed my casual tone. "Oh, this? It's just a ring." I laughed carefully. "Why? Do you have all of my jewelry memorized and catalogued in your head?"

"Of course," she acted like this was nothing strange. "But it's gold…it doesn't match the silver in the rest of your jewelry. Do you want me to keep it here in my jewelry box so you don't lose it?"

"Oh, it's okay…I'm going to wear it."

"But it doesn't match."

"I know…but I still want to wear it."

She arched her eyebrow at me. "Bella Swan...your cheeks are bright pink, and I haven't even put blush on you. What's the story with the ring?"

"Jacob gave it to me." I paused, and looked at her warily. Alice grinned, probably surprised that I would so easily accept a gift, but her smile faltered a bit when I continued. "We promised ourselves to each other last night. I'm going to marry him."

"Oh, Bella," Alice's tone was hushed, overwhelmed. I couldn't read in her eyes whether she was sad, angry, disappointed. "That's…I'm…" I cringed, awaiting her reaction. "Sorry, I'm just surprised. Did Jacob imprint on you?"

"No, he hasn't." I couldn't keep the worry from my voice, and I sank down on the edge of her bed. She sat next to me, studying me with concern.

She lifted my hand and gazed at the ring. "Wow. And you still said yes. Are you sure about this?"

My lips curled in a smile, despite my worry. "Yes, I am." I turned to her, meeting her shining eyes. "I love Jacob. I can't imagine my life without him. If I only get a limited amount of time with him, then I'm going to treasure that time as much as I can. I know it's risky, but I know I'm making the right decision."

I awaited her reaction, and it wasn't what I expected. Her face broke out into a huge smile, much to my surprise. "That's _wonderful_! I'm so happy for you!" She pulled me into an embrace so tight I had to gasp for air before she released me. "Ooh, a wedding! I have so many ideas already…you have to let me help you plan!"

I laughed. "We aren't planning to actually go through with it for a while, Alice. At least a few years, probably."

"Even better…I'll need plenty of time for some of the things I want to do," she grinned, before leaping to her feet. "Oh, you have to tell Esme and Rosalie this!" Grabbing my hand, she pulled me down the stairs. I tried to see if she was faking any of the enthusiasm, but it all seemed sincere from what I could see.

"Bella! You and Alice look wonderful," Esme's caramel voice exclaimed, her smile slightly lopsided due to her scarred cheek. "I made you a snack so you wouldn't get too hungry tonight." She motioned toward a plate of cheese and crackers and fresh vegetables — I giggled, because Esme was always obsessed with feeding me. Carlisle gave me a knowing look and wrapped his arm around the waist of his wife.

"Esme," Alice interrupted. "Look at Bella's hand."

"Have you hurt yourself?" Rosalie's asked warily, while Esme took a deliberate step back, holding her breath. Carlisle furrowed his brow in concern.

"No, she hasn't," came Jasper's call from the other room. "I'm not feeling the need to kill her right now."

The Cullen ladies laughed and stepped toward me once again as Alice grabbed my hand and held it in their faces.

"See? Look!" Alice was brimming with excitement.

"Alice did a nice job with your manicure, Bella," Esme said sweetly, looking at her petite daughter with confusion. "Lavender looks lovely with your skin tone."

Finally, after a long pause, Rosalie asked, "What's the story with the ring? It reeks of werewolf."

Alice couldn't stand the suspense any longer and burst, "Bella and Jacob are _engaged_!" I cringed inwardly, waiting for their disappointment or their words of warning. Just like with Alice, though, I was pleasantly shocked.

"Oh, darling!" Esme exclaimed, "How marvelous! You must be so happy!"

"I am," I murmured, allowing my wide smile to finally overtake my face.

"Jacob is a very lucky young man," Carlisle added warmly.

"How did he ask you?" Rosalie demanded, grabbing my hand for a closer look at the ring. "It's so unique! This is a very large amethyst!"

I couldn't stop the blush from rising as I stammered, "He just kind of…asked."

Jasper appeared in the doorway and snorted. "Judging from your embarrassment Bella, I don't think we really want to know the real answer to that question." He crossed over to me and gave me a quick, surprising hug. "Congratulations, little sis."

He broke away and we all stood there in silence, avoiding the uncomfortable question.

Leave it to Emmett to break up an awkward moment with another one.

"Did I hear right?" he exclaimed, bounding into the kitchen from God-knows-where. "Is our little Bella getting _married_? To a _werewolf_?" He whistled and spun me around in a squeeze. "Good luck telling our emo brother that!"

"Oh, I wasn't going to," I said, feigning seriousness. "I was just going to let one of you break the bad news when he reads your minds." Emmett's joking grin faded and I couldn't keep a straight face, even about such a sensitive subject. "I'm kidding, Emmett."

"I knew that." Emmett's temporary smile, along with those of his vampire family, quickly went away as the reality of the situation set in.

Looking around at the suddenly serious expressions, I asked the loaded question that I wasn't sure I wanted an answer to — "How _am_ I going to tell Edward?"

No one spoke…they just exchanged worried glances.

"Am I doing the right thing?" I said aloud, mostly to myself.

Carlisle was at my side in a flash. Almost at the same time, I realized that the rest of the family had left the room, giving the two of us some privacy. I was unprepared for a serious conversation with Edward's father, but it looked like that's exactly what was going to happen.

"Bella, may I speak frankly with you?"

Wide-eyed, I dipped my head in the affirmative as my pulse spiked from my nerves. "Please do."

He paused, seeming to consider his words carefully.

"I know you care about Edward, but you can't allow his reactions to dictate your decisions. You two are in this situation because of his choice to leave. The consequence of that decision is that your heart is no longer his. He's the one who has to live with that. You shouldn't have to."

Immediately, I protested to protect Edward from his father's harsh scrutiny. "That sounds so selfish, Carlisle…how can I ignore how he feels? My heart belongs to Jacob, yes, but Edward has made it clear that his heart is mine for the taking. I need to care for it, for him. I can't stand to see him hurt!"

"Bella," Carlisle's voice and eyes were sad. "That shouldn't be your burden to bear. It pains me to say this about my own son, but Edward is not being fair to you by grasping onto this last link he has to you. He knows you're a decent person who loves him. Regardless of the level or nature of that love now, he knows that you'll do whatever you can to avoid hurting him. He's taking advantage of that."

"But I'm taking advantage too," I cried, grabbing a paper towel and carefully dabbing my eyes to avoid smudging Alice's makeup job. "I'm happy with Jacob, but I just can't let Edward go. I'm being horribly self-centered…Jacob should be enough for me. He _is_ enough for me…but…there's still Edward."

Carlisle shook his head. "Bella, think about this for a moment. Is it possible that you're holding onto Edward, not because you can't live without him, but because you want to protect him from pain?"

I was quiet for a moment, letting his words soak in. "Well, I do want him in my life," I started. "I do love him…like I love Alice and you and Esme…"

"Like Alice and me and my wife? So, you're saying you no longer want him in a romantic way at all?"

"That's right," I said slowly, carefully, then more firmly, "I don't."

"You understand that my family will have to leave in a few years to relocate to a new home?" It was as much a statement as a question. I nodded. "How do you feel about that?"

"I'll be sad, of course," I exclaimed, "but I know I'll see you every so often throughout my life. I'm…actually really lucky because I feel like I'm getting it all. I'm not going to give up my human life…Charlie…but I'm still going to be a member of your family too."

"You'll always be like a daughter to me," Carlisle murmured, agreeing. "But the fact that you'll only see Edward periodically throughout your life doesn't make you any sadder than the idea of seeing Alice as often."

Again, I carefully considered my answer before shaking my head no.

"So he's truly a friend to you, and only that. There's nothing wrong with things being that way. It sounds like you've already started to let him go." He lifted my chin so he could meet my tear-filled eyes, and I could see the hurt in his expression. "He will have to live with that reality…it was his action that caused it to be. But his pain…" Carlisle faltered, and I heard the handsome man's voice shake for the first time. "Bella, you have to understand how agonizing it is for me to see him suffering like this. I know he brought it on himself, and I know its hurting you as well, but he is my son. I will do anything I know to minimize his torment. I'm trying to tell you what I think would be best for both of you, but I'm especially worried for Edward."

"I know," I sniffled.

"If you turn him away now, the pain he will go through will be acute. But I think it would be much worse for him to face you every single day with hope in his heart, when he'll never have you. And you know as long as he has hope, he will never leave Forks…he will never leave your side again."

"I never thought about it like that…" I cried softly as he took my hand and comforted me in a fatherly way. "But I can't be blameless in this. His pain is as much my fault as his. I've been holding onto him when everything else in my brain and in my heart says I should have already let him go."

"That's because Edward's manipulations are working on you well," Carlisle murmured. "He doesn't even realize that's what he's doing, because he's so singularly focused on getting what he wants, but he knows exactly how to pull your strings."

"He's not…" I started, but trailed off when I realized the truth in his words. The realization set off another round of quiet tears.

"I'll tell you something I told my son not so long ago, when he came to me seeking advice about changing his ways, righting the wrongs he had made with you when he left and broke your heart." I stopped crying for a moment and looked at Carlisle, his golden eyes warm and concerned for me. "I told him that vampires are a static species, but that if he is strong enough to overcome his bloodlust, then he can change in other ways as well. I still believe this to be true. His heart's desire can change…it's not irrevocably set with you. He believes you were his mate, but true vampire mates are not set in stone until the relationship is consummated. Yours wasn't, I believe?"

I couldn't help the pink from tingeing my face as I shook my head and barely squeaked out a "no."

Carlisle smiled at my embarrassment, and said with conviction, "Then I believe with all of myself that his fractured granite heart can love again someday."

My chin wavered as I considered his words, and thought back to my original reaction when he'd secured his prom date. I had responded poorly, without thinking. "I love him so much, Carlisle. He's amazing and perfect and I'd like him to be happy," I whispered. "But it can't be with me. I can't see him in that way anymore."

"I know," he said softly. "Bella, you may never have thought about it, but this situation is like what your own parents experienced. Many years ago, your mother had to make a similarly difficult decision. Your parents were deeply in love, but in the end it wasn't enough. The relationship had become impossible. If your mother would have stayed, they would have been lying to themselves every day and trying to convince themselves that they were happy together. So she let him go, to give them both a chance to find happiness."

I inhaled shakily, the truth in his words hitting home.

***

The parking lot of the only hotel in Forks was filled with cars. I nervously walked with Alice into the front lobby and followed the signs back to the hotel ballroom where Forks High School held their prom. The large reception area was decorated with more tasteful and expensive prom embellishments than the small reservation prom I had attended the previous night. A live band played for the crowd. At my side, Alice was brimming with excitement as she took in the sights on the dance floor.

"I love this song, Bella…let's dance!" she crowed, pulling me into the swarm. I followed only because her grip was like steel, and because I didn't think I could keep it together if I saw Edward just yet. Dancing would be a distraction…an unpleasant one, but a distraction all the same.

Alice looked like she stepped right out of a choreographed music video, of course. I tried to feel the beat and move accordingly, hoping I didn't look silly. I didn't have Jacob to sway me along to the music this time, so I trusted my own sense of rhythm.

I saw Alice look over my shoulder and hide an amused smile, so I had to turn and see what she found so funny.

Mike Newton was a foot behind me, his hands in the air, "dancing" with me while I was unaware. When I turned and caught him, he beamed unembarrassed and tried to move closer. I put my hands on his chest and kept him at a distance, but I didn't reject him. Mike had suffered enough at my expense…I couldn't humiliate him by turning him down yet again.

His smile was wide as we both shuffled our feet to the music — he actually laughed aloud a few times. Alice stood next to me so he was dancing with both of us. After a while, I found myself smiling too. Mike was a decent guy, and it made me happy to see him having such a good time. In only a few months, the members of my class would go their separate ways to college, and I realized I'd miss my overly flirtatious, if not clueless, buddy.

The song ended, and I surprised us all by pulling Mike in for a quick hug. "Thanks for the dance, Mike. You're a great friend." Spotting Jessica watching us warily, I pointed her out. "You should save the next dance for your date. I think she's waiting."

Mike looked happier than I had seen him in a while as he walked to Jessica and pulled her, squealing, into a close embrace for their dance.

The next song started and I found myself moving in response to the deep bass beats. Angela came up through the crowd to give me and Alice a hug, and soon Katie joined our little group of girls. We giggled and acted silly as we moved. Tyler, Katie's date, came up and put himself in the middle of our small circle, busting out some exaggerated moves that had us all whooping and laughing.

The band took a breather and the music switched seamlessly to CD for a few songs. The first that came on caused the crowd to cheer excitedly — it was a popular line dance that I didn't know. Apparently, I was the only one.

"It's easy, Bella," Alice encouraged, grabbing my arms and putting me in front of her.

"Yeah," Angela enthused, moving to the music. "If you listen, they actually tell you how to move. It's four steps to the left, then four to the right…" She demonstrated.

"And then you kick four times," Katie added.

Soon I had it down, which surprised me. Something else that surprised me was how much _fun_ I was having. Alice and my other friends had totally taken my mind off of my worries. We continued to move through the next four upbeat songs before they slowed it down for a couple's dance.

"Let's get something to drink, Alice," I said as my other friends found their dates for the dance. We wove our way through the couples to the edge of the dance floor.

I stopped at the refreshment table, grabbing some punch and breathing deeply, glad to be out of the crowd of closely pressed bodies for the moment, but feeling slightly exhilarated by the dancing and eager for more. Fanning my heated skin, I surveyed the room and sipped my icy beverage. Several hundred students and their dates filled the area. I saw Angela and Ben, swaying slowly to the beat, lost in a sweet kiss. Jessica and Mike were talking as they danced. Tyler was saying something funny to Katie, and she grinned in amusement. Off the dance floor, Eric was holding court with a crowd of friends, all sharing a laugh about something he was saying.

Looking around at the couples, I thought about what Jacob might be doing at that moment. _Probably in wolf form, running laps around the reservation_, I mused. I wondered if he was thinking of me. Absentmindedly, I twisted the ring on my finger, a coy smile playing on my lips. It hadn't even been 12 hours since we had parted, but I already missed him.

I continued to slowly pass my gaze over the room as my reverie faded and I came back to the present.

Finally, I saw Edward.

He was politely standing next to his date and her group of friends. They weren't dancing. I noticed that all of the girls were overwhelmed by his presence, and all of the guys maintained a noticeable distance. Tamaria kept glancing up at him, as if she was trying to include him in the conversation, and he would nod and offer a few words. Almost as if he felt my gaze on him, he looked up. Our eyes locked from across the room, and I felt my nagging worry reappear. Carlisle had given me the essential knowledge and confidence to have an inevitable conversation with Edward, but preparation didn't necessarily mean anticipation. I was dreading it. I didn't want to have such an important talk here at prom, but I knew that if I waited until tomorrow, I'd find an excuse to delay it another day, and then another, and all the time I'd be prolonging his quiet suffering.

Luckily, Alice distracted me. "Come on, Bella! We have to get our photo taken!" She grabbed my hand and dragged me over to the corner of the ballroom, where a photographer had erected a generic silver blue background with balloons and sparkle. It was so vulgar, it was hilarious.

"Where are your dates, ladies?" the exhausted looking man leered at Alice.

She pulled me against her, snaking her hand around my waist. "She _is_ my date," Alice smirked, as the man's jaw dropped and I giggled. We stood in front of the backdrop, holding onto each other like every other prom photo taken that evening. Both of us had mischievous grins on our faces as the camera flashed. I couldn't wait to see how it turned out.

The band took back over for another set of songs, and I heard myself exclaim, "Let's dance!" With a delighted squeal, Alice and I hurried back to the dance floor.

***

Two hours later, I sat at the edge of the dance floor with my slippers off, rubbing my aching feet. Next to me, Angela groaned and stared at her stilettos with dread.

"I'm going to have to put these back on sometime tonight," she whined, wriggling her painted toes. Angela pointed to Alice, who was still going strong in the midst of the crowd. "How does she do it?"

"She's not human," I said, laughing at my own joke.

Katie limped over to us and collapsed in the chair across from me. "Rub my feet, Bella," she moaned, kicking off her own shoes. "They're about to fall off."

I laughed and grabbed her foot. "Shouldn't Tyler be doing this for you?"

She sighed in relief at my hands. "Eeew, no way! Tyler and I are just friends. I don't expect anything from him. Besides, he's been flirting with Edward's date most of the night." My eyes widened at her words and I dropped her feet. Craning my neck, I searched the room until I found Edward. He was still standing on the outskirts of Tamaria's group of friends, but his date was solely focused on Tyler, who was leaning in to whisper in her ear. As she laughed, she also inched further away from a bored-looking Edward. I wondered when she realized that Edward was not interested, and was glad that she had Tyler's attentions to keep her feelings from being too hurt.

Alice joined our group, her eyes vibrant and excited from dancing. "I'm having so much fun tonight, girls!" she exclaimed, clapping her hands together. We groaned in response, flexing our sore legs and feet. From the corner of my eye, I saw Alice's smile fade slightly, and her eyes glaze for a moment. Only someone who recognized the look would have noticed anything different, and a moment later, her grin returned just as vibrantly, as though nothing had happened.

The crowd in the ballroom was slowly beginning to lessen as the night went on. Our small group of girls sat watching the Electric Slide and holding our own private conversations. I put my shoes back on and tied the lavender ribbons around my ankle, contemplating asking Alice if we could leave soon. I was getting pretty tired, and I was missing Jacob. I wanted to go back to the Cullen home, curl up wearing Jacob's ratty flannel shirt and get some needed rest.

Before long, the first soft strums of a love song began and Ben immediately came to get Angela. He bent to kiss the foot she was massaging before helping her stand. I saw Tyler leading Tamaria to the dance floor, and at that exact moment, Alice stood and announced that she had to use the restroom. I rolled my eyes and began to stand to accompany her, but she turned to Katie instead. "Come on, Katie," she said, grabbing our friend's hand and pulling her to her feet. "I need your help with my hair." As she began to walk away, she shot me a wide-eyed, almost panicked look and motioned toward Edward, who was now standing alone in the opposite corner of the room.

I focused on the breathtaking form across from me. As I stared, his head rose until he met my eyes. I stood. Almost as if we were guided by unseen forces, we both began walking slowly together until we were inches apart.

The moment had arrived, and I had to summon my courage. I couldn't keep putting this discussion off. I knew that if I couldn't accomplish it in this exact moment I may never find the strength to do it.

"Dance with me?" I asked quietly, keeping my face stony as he nodded with hope shimmering in his golden eyes. "I…I need to talk to you."

"I was wondering why Alice has been blocking me all evening," he said grimly, the hope fading as we found a more secluded corner of the dance floor. Carefully, he ran his hands around my waist and drew me against him. I grasped onto his neck and stared into his eyes boldly, confident that I could keep my wits against any potential dazzling.

We swayed quietly for a few moments, something indescribable flickering across Edward's handsome face as he regarded me and the way I fit in his embrace. I physically ached in his arms, from a sense of sadness for what was, what might have been. I wanted to treasure the feeling of his arms around me, because I knew it would soon be a memory. But first, I had to state my piece. Carlisle was right...I didn't want him to hurt any more than he already did.

And that's why I had to let him go.

I took a deep breath, and Edward smiled at me sadly.

"I can't read your mind, Bella," he said softly, "but I don't think I'm going to like this conversation."

"Probably not," I murmured. "But I hope you'll understand it someday." Taking another deep breath, I began, in a voice much more confident than I actually felt. "We've been avoiding this talk for too long, Edward. I've probably been selfish for neglecting it for so long, but I'm only human." The corners of Edward's mouth twitched, but his eyes looked anything but amused. "So…I think it's time we just put it all out there …once and for all. No more beating around the bush."

"Well, okay then," he said carefully. "I'll go first. You have to know that I love you. You're everything to me, and if it takes an eternity to prove that to you…" He steeled himself. "Well, if an eternity is what you want, then I'm prepared to give it to you."

"You'd change me," I gasped, taken off guard. "If I came back to you, you'd change me?"

"In a heartbeat," he said, "or rather, the lack of one."

"Edward…" I breathed, shocked. "No…"

"Why? Wasn't that always what you wanted?"

I shook my head. "No…I wanted _you_, not immortality. But a necessary part of having you was having immortality so I could enjoy eternity with you. That's the only reason I wanted to become a vampire. When you went away…well, I didn't have my reason anymore."

"I will never forgive myself for leaving you," he said, hushed.

"You have to," I said, squeezing my arms around him lightly. "I do."

"You're far too decent for me," Edward said quietly. "But I still hope that you'll remember what we had."

"I _do_ remember it, Edward," I said, my voice wavering and tears springing to my eyes. "I'll never forget it. But I also remember that you left. I remember the pain. And I remember someone coming along and fixing me. He took me out of the darkness and I found the sun again. That's where I choose to be — in the brightness…with Jacob." Letting go of his neck with my left hand, I held my trembling fingers under Edward's gaze. "I'm wearing his ring. I'm going to marry him, Edward. Someday, I hope we have children together. And in the far off future, I hope to grow old with him."

Edward's head dropped, and I knew if it were possible, his eyes would be swimming with tears. He looked completely broken.

"I love you, Bella."

My tears spilled over and flowed freely. "I know. And I will always, _always_ love you too, Edward."

"But it will never be enough."

"Edward?" I said softly, my own heart breaking at the sight of his pain. "This is what you always said you wanted for me. You wanted me to remain human, to hold onto those ties with Charlie, with my mother. You wanted me to be happy. Well, I am, Edward." He looked up at my words, his expression unreadable. I couldn't help the smile on my face, even through my streaming tears. "I'm so happy. And it took me going through a lot of pain to get here. But I'm so glad I did. I know what they say about hindsight, but knowing what I know now…I'm…_glad_…that you left me. If you hadn't broken my heart, I wouldn't have found this perfect happiness."

He sighed and looked over my shoulder at nothing in the distance. "I'm sorry to be so selfish," he said quietly. "I know how you've suffered because of my actions."

"And I know how you've suffered because of my indecision," I said. "But I don't want you to suffer any more, Edward. I know happiness can happen for you…it happened for me. Out of the pain of losing you, something beautiful grew. I don't expect you to understand it at first, but I think the same thing is in your future; something beautiful."

"You're the only something beautiful I'll ever want," he murmured, his usually confident voice quieted by the intensity of his emotions. "But I know you're in love with him. You are happy, aren't you Bella? _Truly_ happy?"

I nodded, knowing in that exact moment that it was an absolute truth.

He paused to take a deep, unnecessary breath, looking as though he were preparing himself. "Then all I can say is that Jacob is the luckiest creature who ever existed." His arms tightened around me in a hug, which I returned with a soft cry.

"Edward, you can have your heart back. Even though you think it belongs with me, it doesn't. It's not mine to care for anymore." I pulled away to look into his eyes. "I hope that someday someone will cherish it even more than I have."

I leaned up and gently pressed my lips against his in a chaste kiss. He tightened his arms around me again.

"I can't let you go," his voice came out in a sob.

"Yes you can. I've done it…I know you can too. I'm releasing you from any sense of obligation you have toward me." He shook in my arms.

"I should…I know I should...but…"

"You have to," I cried, clinging to him. "Otherwise we'll never be truly free."

_Free_.

I froze in Edward's arms, realization whirling around me like a mighty wind.

I haven't…been…free. This whole time, I had still been tied to Edward by a fragile, but stubborn link.

The sounds of the dance around me faded as memories of previous conversations came to the forefront of my mind and began replaying.

_Jacob telling me about Collin's imprint — "Well, you know that Collin imprinted when we were at the beach on Saturday…it was good timing. Charity had just been dumped by her boyfriend, so she's much more receptive to the imprint than we expected."_

_Jacob and I discussing Paul and Rachel — "What did she tell her boyfriend? I know they weren't together long, but she seemed pretty into him a few weeks ago." "It wasn't an issue. I guess she went back to school for her finals and found out he was cheating on her. She was totally free for someone to come along…"_

_Edward's words to Jacob during our outing — "I'll let go of her heart as soon as she lets go of mine. But until she forces away that piece of me that still occupies her heart, you'll never fully have her."_

"Bella? Bella!" Edward's voice brought me back to reality and I was aware that he had been talking, but I was still overwhelmed with comprehension. Wide-eyed, I stepped back, away from him, my stomach clenched in knots.

"What?"

I forced myself to focus when I saw the acute anguish etched on Edward's marble face. He was struggling to find words.

"I was just saying that I can see how much this is hurting you. That was never my intention, I promise." His left hand let go of my waist and he pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Bella…I love you more than I think you'll ever know. But, if you want me to let you go…I'll do it. I'll do it for you."

"You will?"

"I'm not as hopeful as you for my future, but I'll always trust what you say, because I know it comes out of love for me. I only wish it could have been enough. I only wish…" He shook his head. "But what is done is done. All this time, I've been holding onto hope, but perhaps for the wrong thing. I've hoped that you would come back to me. But I think I'm finally realizing that will never happen. Maybe I should hope that I won't hurt forever. Maybe I'll find a sense of peace."

"Oh, Edward," I murmured, almost silently.

"You believe that this can happen for me…so maybe I can find some hope in that." He took my hand and kissed my palm. "Bella…I won't hurt you any more. I won't bind any piece of your heart to me. I'm…I'm breaking those ties. So you can be free."

"You're…letting me go?"

"Yes."

"Truly?"

His eyes were heartbroken, I could see that, but he still mustered up a brave smile.

"Yes."

I wept softly, but my lips still curved into a smile of immense gratitude.

He summoned up whatever strength he could and uttered two words that brought it all back to the beginning for me.

Be happy," he whispered, just like he had told me in my head all those months ago when I was finally seeing Jacob for what he truly was.

"Oh my God," I whispered, my breath coming in gasps.

I knew where I had to go. What I had to do. Without another word, I turned and sprinted out of the dark corner where we had been dancing, running at full-speed toward the door. Alice was walking into the ballroom at that exact moment and grabbed my arm as I started to pass.

"Alice!" I cried, and she looked at me knowingly.

"Thank you for being kind to my brother, Bella. He will get past this in time...I can see that already. He just needed you to let him know that you had moved on." Alice gazed into the distance and a familiar shimmer crossed her eyes. A moment later the vision ended. She looked at me with all the love a friend could have and simply stated, "Don't worry Bella, he'll find happiness, I promise."

I looked behind me at Edward, who had fallen to his knees in the darkness across the room, his hands tangled in his bronze hair and his face twisted in anguish. However, his eyes remained on me, and I could see that they were resolved — he was already trying to make peace with his decision.

Without tearing my eyes away from him, I squeezed my petite friend's arm. "Go to him, Alice," I said softly. "He needs you."

Before I turned away, Edward took a deep breath, struggling in an effort to collect himself. He nodded toward me, as if saying, "Go on." He was giving me the permission I needed to continue putting one foot in front of the other, running away from him and toward my destiny.


	32. Chapter 32 Fate's Decision

_Well, friends...here it is. The final chapter of my story. I never imagined when I started writing this fic that it would grow to become such a part of me. I cried while writing this chapter, because it was everything I wanted it to be. I hope you feel the same, and would appreciate reviews to let me know._

_I couldn't post this without thanking my amazing beta, Charity (mrsz). LN&D is what it is because of her brilliance. _

_All of my readers are amazing, and you have no idea how much I love you._

OOO

I ran right past the cars in the parking lot, not thinking about anything but my ultimate destination — Jacob's arms. He was out there somewhere tonight, patrolling the forests around La Push in his werewolf form. I reached the tree line behind the hotel and paused for just a moment. All that lay between me and the reservation was seven miles of forest. I glanced up at the full, bright moon and smiled a bit knowing that it would help illuminate my way. I didn't plan to hike the entire seven miles — I knew once I was within a half mile of his patrol path, he would discover my scent and find me.

Determined, I pushed myself forward into the trees, fumbling with my little wrist clutch that Alice insisted I carry. I was glad she had convinced me, because it contained my cell phone, which I could use for additional light. I also needed to make a very important phone call. As I reached inside, I felt a few other things that I hadn't noticed before. Pulling them out, a wide smile broke out on my face. _A whistle_… that will be handy for helping me to be found in the woods. _A pen flashlight. A compass. A condom_. I blushed for a moment, and then silently thanked Alice for looking into my future. Quickly, I made sure I was heading west-southwest with the compass and secured the items in my bag.

Jogging in my slippers and dress, I found my cell phone and blindly punched in the number for Emily. My signal was fading as I continued pressing further into the forest, and I prayed that she was home.

After three torturous rings, she picked up.

"Emily!" I gasped, not even giving her a chance to say hello. "I need your help!" I dodged a fallen tree trunk, my feet squelching slightly in the damp earth.

"Bella?" I heard the immediate panic in her voice. "What's wrong? Do I need to get Sam and the pack?"

"Everything's okay," I huffed and puffed, finding it difficult to talk and jog at the same time. "But I do need some help. Is Sam there?"

"No…he took advantage of his night off and went to Port Angeles with some friends. I can call him if you want…he's not supposed to be back for a few more hours."

"No, no…don't ruin his night." I cursed quietly as I stumbled over a tree root.

"Bella, where are you?"

"I'm running in the woods toward the res…I just left the Olympic Suites Inn where prom was."

"Wait, you're…running?"

My breathing was starting to get loud in the receiver. "Yes."

She was silent for a few seconds before asking, "Why are you running? What happened?"

Panting, I started to explain everything that had happened with Edward and when I got to the part about putting two-and-two together regarding the most recent imprints, I hesitated. It seemed like something more appropriate to tell the Alpha myself, rather than him hearing it second-hand from his imprint. Emily heard my pause, and murmured, "It's okay, Bella. You can tell me anything." So I continued. Emily listened closely, gasping at some parts and murmuring agreement at others. Finally, I told her about Jacob's proposal the previous night and how I wanted to be the one to inform Sam of the possible revelation.

She was careful with me when she finally spoke.

"Bella, what you're doing right now…running through the woods…it's madness, you know."

I grimaced at her words, which were completely true. "I know, and maybe eventually I will need to call in one of the pack to come find me, but I just couldn't sit around and wait."

Emily was even more cautious when she continued. "And you know, as logical as your imprinting argument is, there's no guarantee that Jacob will imprint on you when you do find him."

My lungs, which were already protesting the physical excursion, felt as though they had been punched. All of the air left my body and my steps slowed.

"You're right," I said weakly. I paused for only a moment before my right foot rose and stepped forward, followed by my left. Soon, I was back on pace. "You're right," I repeated. "But I decided a while ago that I wouldn't let fate control my happiness. Only I can do that."

"Oh, Bella," Emily sounded admiring, yet sad.

"If he doesn't imprint, then life goes on as it already has. And my life is Jacob, regardless of whatever might happen."

Emily was silent for a few seconds, and I thought I had dropped the call before I heard her say, "Be careful, Bella. I will pray with all my heart that this works for you. If I haven't heard anything by the time Sam gets home later tonight, I'll send him out to find you. If you get in trouble at all, call me."

"Thanks, Emily…you're such a good friend."

"Well, I love you, Bella…you're family."

Her words slowed me for a second, and I smiled. "Yeah, love you too, Emily."

"Be careful."

"Always am," I said.

I shoved my phone back into my clutch and concentrated on my breathing. I knew I was possibly making a mistake, but I just couldn't sit still and wait for someone to come get me. I was overwhelmed with nervous energy. I had to move. Every step brought me closer to my destiny…closer to my Jacob.

_OOO_

"Ouch," I uttered as I stepped on a sharp rock through my too-thin shoes. I hadn't gone very far, and I was already regretting my decision to run through the woods. It was quite impulsive, and part of me wanted to turn around and head back. Another part of me wanted to sit at the base of one of the massive trees and rest. My lungs ached from the efforts and my muscles screamed at me to stop. As I began to concentrate on the pain and fatigue, my pace slowed. Each plodding step felt like a protest by my body.

"Ouch!" I exclaimed again as my swinging arm raked against a small thorny shrub that I hadn't seen to avoid.

The aching was only part of the problem. As I slowed, my pulse followed suit and a violent shiver wracked my form. The hot blood in my veins moved less rapidly, and I began to feel the chill of the air on my bare shoulders. I trembled in the cold forest air, feeling more miserable with every step.

"I'm out of shape," I gasped to myself, slowing even more.

Finally, I came to a stop, noticing that my feet pulsated with every beat of my heart. I sank to the ground at the foot of a tree, exhaling in a tired, relieved sigh. I wrapped my arms around myself in a hug and allowed my breathing to return to normal. Running into the woods was a bad idea.

"I guess I can talk to Jacob tomorrow," I murmured, feeling the disappointment acutely. I didn't _want_ to wait until tomorrow! I wanted to see him _now_!

Feeling defeated, I reached for my phone to call Emily again so she could send a member of the pack to find me. I felt silly now, for being so reckless and for inconveniencing one of the werewolves who would now have to forego sleep to get me. My phone blazed to life and I waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, I had to realize that there was no way I would get a signal. I was too deep into the forest.

A pang of fear hit my stomach. I was on my own, at least for a few more hours until Emily told Sam what was happening. I had three choices. I could stay put and try to deal with the growing trembles that were now controlling my body from head to toe, I could turn back, or I could keep going toward La Push.

I knew there was no way I would go back. My stubborn nature wouldn't allow it. As for staying next to the tree for a few hours, the chattering of my teeth helped guide my decision. I hated to be cold.

"Okay, so let's get going," I mustered up my energy and my courage, and stood up.

I had hiked enough times to know when I needed to contemplate a new strategy to keep my mind off the aching in my muscles and the searing in my lungs.

_Jacob_.

The mere thought of my werewolf made my muscles itch with the desire to start back up again. I knew then how I would keep going and ignore the pain. I'd keep my mind occupied with positive thoughts and there was nothing more positive to me than my werewolf.

"Eyes on the prize, Swan," I muttered, stretching. Fierce determination coursed through my being.

I began my brutal pace again, only this time, I did so ignoring the signs of my body. Instead, I began to fill my mind with Jacob…nothing but Jacob.

With fondness, I recalled the day I came to his house and he was sleeping — all limbs and muscles sprawled on his too-small bed. That was the day when something inside of me changed, and I was determined to observe him in a new light and see what might happen.

I remembered what he looked like on the day of Harry Clearwater's funeral. He was magnificent in his tribal costume, and reverent toward the traditions and his participation in the ceremony. At that moment, he had looked every bit the man I now knew he was. I think I had already begun to fall for him at that point, but seeing him that day, and initiating the kiss in his garage later, had made some of the clouds marring my focus drift away.

I thought about his excitement over planning our first date, and his shyness and ardor at the Sol Duc hot springs. I had still been confused about exactly what I wanted, but the way he had worshiped my body had made me giddy with desire and drunk on the notion that I was free to be a passionate, sexual person without being stopped at every turn. It seemed crazy now that I had still been thinking of Edward when I had everything right in front of me.

I recalled the night when the pack had their first strategy session, and how everyone in that small circle — the wolves and their mates — had felt undeniably linked to me, like kin. The love that was present in that little group had miraculously included me, and I felt a warm heaviness in my soul knowing that I had a _family_ there. I could remember looking up at the determined face of Jacob that night, and realizing then that I loved him — that I was _in love_ with him.

I remembered the overwhelming panic when Jacob lay vulnerable at Victoria's feet during the battle. Even though many of my memories of that day were fuzzy from my injuries, I remembered that moment with crystal clarity. I felt as though my life were also laid bare in a broken heap at the vampire's feet. His death would have been my death. After that day, I could never have denied our connection, because I had felt it so acutely at that instant.

With the sting of tears welling in my eyes, I thought about Embry's death, and how Jacob refused to allow me to feel guilty for it. Even while his grief was raw from the loss of his friend, _he_ had comforted _me_ in those moments.

I treasured the small things that Jacob did that made me love him so much — playing footsie under the table, the way he got along with my father, how much he loved to surprise me. There was something simple and pleasant about being with him. It always lightened my mood, whether we were doing homework, jumping off cliffs or sitting by a bonfire. Jacob was my heart's happiness.

And finally, I thought about the previous evening. His proposal, and the joyful love we made afterward. Never in all of my reminiscing did I think about the stress of imprinting. That no longer mattered to me. I loved my Jacob, and I would exist the rest of my life knowing and living that.

He always knew exactly what to say, and his words ran through my head as I continued to move, fully in a zone now and making good progress.

"_You do have feelings for me, and I think you're starting to realize it too. You've been broken ever since Edward left, but you're finally starting to allow yourself to really live again."_

"_I know you'll figure out you're in love with me eventually, and I promise you, Bella…I can wait for a long, long time."_

He had always understood our connection, even when I hadn't.

When memories of "what were" began to run short, I started to dream of what my future might look like as Mrs. Jacob Black.

I thought about Sunday dinners with Charlie and Billy, hosted at our house with me cooking for all of the men. I knew without a doubt that there would be several little black-haired children running around as I prepared the food. The idea of Billy and Charlie interacting with their hypothetical grandchildren made a smile break out on my face as I jogged.

I thought about how I would never have to leave Charlie, or my mother, or give up my human existence for one of blood. Jacob made me feel gloriously alive when I was with him, which was like night and day compared to how I would have felt if I had chosen Edward and literally given up that life.

I realized that by marrying Jacob, I would be a part of several families. The Black family, the pack family, the Quileute nation, the Swans and the Dwyers… I had lived my entire life with only a few family members, and now I would be rich with them. The thought made me grin wider and move a little bit faster.

Finally, I thought about sleeping in Jacob's arms every single night, entwined in our sheets, demonstrating our love for one another as we grew old together. It was a happy thought, with no pause to consider imprinting or its possible consequences.

_Left foot, right foot, left foot_… I ran toward the vision in my head.

_OOO_

An hour and a half later, I paused to lean against a trunk, catching my breath and picking twigs and spider webs out of my hair. The tree canopy above me was keeping out a lot of the moonlight, and I was grateful for the flashlight. However, I wished Alice would have thought to pack me a snack or some more comfortable shoes. My feet throbbed and my stomach was starting to grumble its hungry discontent. Only the thought of finding Jacob kept me going. I had been keeping up a decent pace, so I guessed that I was at least four miles into the forest.

I stopped and consulted my compass. It continued to point me in the right direction, but the path ahead of me was impassable. I was on the edge of a pretty deep ridge, so I started trying to find the best way down. Carefully, I began stepping my way down the steep embankment, clutching small trees to steady myself in my impractical shoes.

The earth beneath me was moist and I struggled to keep my feet from sliding. Luckily, there were plenty of small saplings around me to hold onto as I inched along. I heard the trickling of water and my heart rejoiced when I realized it was the creek. I knew approximately where I was.

Some of the soil under my feet gave way a bit and I stumbled onto my bottom. I quickly righted myself, muttering when I reached back and felt the dirt on my dress. I grabbed for the next sapling and shined the light down the ridge, relieved when I saw that I only had twenty feet to go. Before I could attempt to go any further, the soil beneath me began to slide once again. In my panic, I dropped my flashlight. I saw the small beam of light start to roll down the embankment and I grabbed at it involuntarily, relinquishing my hold on the small tree that kept me upright.

With a scream, I began to fall down the slope, landing on my side roughly, all of the air exiting my lungs with a forceful exhale. Gravity took over, and I found myself rolling on my side over and over, down the ridge. Shrubs and tiny trees raked against my skin, and all I could do was squeeze my eyes shut tightly and wait for my body to reach the bottom of the twenty-foot incline.

I didn't have to wait long. With the last tumble, I hit the bottom of the ravine, the side of my head slamming against a rock. I heard my own groan in my ears before everything went black.

_OOO_

When I heard the musical voice ringing softly in my head, I thought I was hallucinating so I ignored it. But the voice was persistent, and finally I began to fathom what it was saying.

"Bella…" it echoed. "Wake up."

I opened my mouth to respond, but shut it quickly when the rusty smell and metallic taste of blood swirled on my tongue.

"Please, Bella. Open your eyes," the voice was becoming clearer, and I could tell it was a male voice, and familiar.

I yelped as a soft cloth with icy water gently rubbed past my closed eyes. Weakly, I moved my arms as if to push the cold material away, but the owner of the voice stopped me.

"Hold still for a second…I'm just cleaning some of this blood off of your face," the voice said softly, and finally my brain clicked back into recognition at the same time my eyes fluttered open.

"Edward?" I was confused that he was leaning over me, handling me cautiously while holding his breath. He gave me a sad smile and continued his soft swipes along my cheekbone. "What are you doing?"

"Helping you."

I tried to sit up, but Edward prevented me from moving. "No, I mean, what are you doing here?"

Edward paused in his gentle care of my injuries, looking down at me…his beautiful eyes conflicted. Finally, he sighed.

"After you ran out of the dance," he began, choosing his words carefully, "Alice called Jasper to come help calm me down. When my emotions were under control, I finally realized that you had run off into the forest all alone. I know you and how clumsy you can be, so I was afraid you might hurt yourself." The corner of his mouth twitched. "Looks like I was right."

I groaned when his cold fingers ghosted past the lump that had formed when my head hit the rock, but then relaxed. The temperature of his skin felt good against the sore spot.

"But I don't understand. I saw your face when I left… I… I... saw how much I hurt you. Why would you still come after me? You knew I was on my way to find Jacob."

Edward focused his gaze on my trembling lower lip. I could tell he was hesitating to say something, so I continued.

"I don't want you to torture yourself, Edward. I want you to be happy too."

His smile for me was warm, even as his eyes conveyed the depths of his distress. "Silly Bella," he began, stroking one side of my cheek. "Ensuring that _you_ are happy is the first step to me finding my own contentment in this life. No matter what happens, I love you."

"Oh, Edward…"

"And if you kill yourself falling down a ravine or freezing to death in the middle of the forest, doesn't it just make all of this anguish unnecessary? Not to mention how much it would hurt Charlie, my family, and…and Jacob."

I was speechless. Even in his pain, Edward was thinking of me.

"Do you think you can sit up now?" He supported my back and I nodded. My head still felt fuzzy and my vision was a bit off, but I was starting to feel better. He settled next to me, eyeing me carefully. His pale skin seemed to glow in the bright moonlight, reflecting light of its own.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I whispered, leaning into his cold hand, which was cradling the knot on my head. "I know this whole situation is difficult for you…"

"It's challenging, but I'm able to fight back the blood urges much better than I used to."

My eyes widened and I inched back a bit. "I was talking about the relationship situation, actually, but now I'm even sorrier. I know how my blood causes you physical pain."

"It's nothing I can't handle. I feel the need to protect you and keep you from harm even more than I do the bloodlust."

We sat in silence for a moment, the only sounds that of my breathing and the crickets and frogs singing their nightly songs.

Finally, I laughed softly, with very little humor in the sound. "I've really made a mess of things, haven't I? I always make things so complicated."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, this whole situation with you and Jacob, running off into the woods without thinking, trying to force Jacob to coexist with his natural enemies for my benefit…"

"Bella, you're only 18 years old. You're not supposed to have all of the world's answers."

"Eighteen is old enough to make better decisions. You're too generous to me, Edward. When are you going to realize that I'm the reason you're hurting so much?"

He sat up suddenly, and moved swiftly so he was face to face with me, his eyes searing into my soul. "No, Bella…you mustn't think that, ever. All of this pain…the complications…it was because I made the decision to leave. I took your choice out of the matter, because I thought I knew better. You've convinced yourself that you should be so wise at 18, but I'm 108 years old…I should definitely have acted with more wisdom. I never took Victoria's revenge into consideration, I never thought about how much you'd hurt, I just didn't think at all. I should be apologizing to you."

"You don't need to apologize."

"But I do…and I need to help make things right for both of us. You already took the first step back there at the dance. As much as it pained me for you to make that final break, it was necessary. Jasper and Alice helped me to see that. And I can appreciate how hard it was for you…I never could have been the one to do it." He took my hand gently and helped me to my feet. I wavered slightly, but regained my balance immediately. "You're so much braver than me, Bella."

"I don't know about that…"

He chuckled. "I do…you've always been more brave than you realize." He paused, assessing my injuries. "Can you hold onto my back? I think we should get going."

"I…I think so." Carefully, I climbed up on him, just like I used to months ago when we were in a much different situation. Somehow, it felt comforting to have his lithe body holding me up, almost as if his presence in my arms meant that everything was going to be okay.

"Bella?"

I gave him an awkward squeeze from my perch on his back, and spoke with an optimism I had never felt before in my life. "Edward, I really think everything's going to be okay — with you, with me…with us. I feel really good about where we stand, and I think it's safe to say that we're even now. No more hard feelings, no guilt, no remorse." He nodded, his messy hair brushing my chin. "You don't know how happy it makes me that you feel the same, because I'm really content with the way things are. I know you'll be okay, Edward…and that makes me happier than you'll ever know."

He glanced back at me clinging to him and smiled. "I'm glad. Now, let's go find the werewolf."

_OOO_

For once, I kept my eyes wide open as we flew through the trees at high speed. At once point, I felt Edward slow and hesitate, but then he sped back up, turning his head and shouting, "This might get interesting…we just passed the treaty line."

A knot of worry clenched in my stomach, but it didn't have time to grow, because I was distracted by my desperate search for any sign of a patrolling werewolf. I could hear Edward inhale sharply through his nose as he sought out Jacob's scent. I shrieked as Edward turned sharply to the left and began heading south at speed. My stomach turned as he did, and it took all my concentration to keep the nausea from taking over.

"Do you smell something?" I shouted against the biting wind, suppressing the trembles in my chilled skin and the queasiness from the rapid motion.

"He's definitely been on this path sometime tonight," Edward answered. "But his scent is a bit confused by the other, older scents around. I wish I could distinguish between the wolves better." Suddenly, Edward stopped as a piercing wolf howl filled the air not far from where we were. I felt the force of his sudden halt in my eyes and tummy, and groaned in discomfort, even as my heart jumped at the sound of the howl.

"What? Why did you stop? Is it Jacob?"

His tone was urgent. "Bella, jump down."

"Edward, what's go-…"

"Now," he hissed, before he lowered slightly in a defensive position. I heard the brush to my right rustle slightly, and a twig snapped.

I saw his glittering eyes before I saw his hulking shadow appear through the bushes. It was a figure out of a nightmare, a massive black wolf — Sam Uley, in all of his terrifying glory. His furious eyes were fixed on Edward, and a deep rumbling emanated from his chest. His lips curled back in a growl, displaying his glinting teeth. He took one step forward.

I stepped out from behind Edward and exclaimed, "Sam!" His massive black head swiveled to me for a split second, and his responding snarl was one of surprise and fury. He stepped back again, looking unsure. I heard another growl behind me and whirled around to see the silver wolf of Paul break through the brush, his black eyes set on the vampire at my side.

"Sam, I'm not breaking the treaty," Edward implored, responding to whatever Sam was thinking. He held his hands up in a surrendering pose, yet kept his balance shifted to defend me if necessary. "I have a reason to be here, and it's not malicious." Sam rumbled in response, baring his teeth even more.

"Sam, where's Jacob?" I asked, trying to push forward to put myself between Edward and the gigantic wolf. I saw his eyes rake across my form, at the scratches and scrapes that criss-crossed my skin, and the blood that had dried on my dress. His gaze fell on the glinting gem on my left hand, and then whirled back to Edward's face. His growling grew in volume.

Another wolf joined at Sam's side, appearing out of the darkness. I heard a fourth growl join the din from somewhere on my right side. They were surrounding Edward.

"No," I insisted, trying to keep the panic out of my voice. "Stop…you don't understand! Sam, where's Jacob?"

"Bella!" Edward's voice called. I turned back, and discovered that my steps toward Sam had put a few feet of distance between us, and before I could return to his side, a large muzzle was knocking me carefully to the side, away from my vampire friend. The wolf, which I recognized as Jared, gently but firmly held me back, pinning me against a tree with his large form.

"Sam!" I cried. "Please! Don't hurt him!" The great black wolf hesitated at the alarm in my voice, and cocked his head toward me. "Let me explain!"

The semi-circle of wolves closed in on Edward as Sam shimmered into his human form and stalked toward me, his face still twisted in rage, and his naked body trembling. He maintained a safe distance in case he lost control, and snapped, "Bella, Emily told me you were in the woods, but when I caught his scent…" He paused and took a few deep breaths, calming himself before continuing. "And you're covered in blood…and you're with _him_ and defending _him_ when you're wearing Jacob's ring…" Around us, the wolves snarled their agreement. "There's better be a good fucking reason for you to bring him onto the reservation."

"Sam…" Edward's voice called, causing Sam's lip to curl and his trembling to grow worse.

"Edward," I interrupted, "Shut up for a second. Sam, keep your eyes on me. I'm the one talking to you. He's not going to do anything."

"Alright…talk."

I gently shoved Jared away slightly so I could breathe easier. "I was on my way to find Jacob. I knew he was patrolling tonight, and…I just didn't think it through when I took off. It was stupid, and it was my fault, but it was the only thing I could do at the time."

"And why do you and the leech want to find Jacob so much?"

Despite my fear, I felt a blaze of anger. In my fury I took a step towards Sam, but I thought better of my decision and stepped back again. Sam was teetering on the edge of reason, and I did owe him an explanation. "Edward hasn't done anything wrong, Sam. I'd appreciate it if you heard me out before you jump to conclusions."

Sam sighed impatiently. "Go on…"

"I was running through the forest and I slipped and fell. I don't know how long I would have been out there if Edward hadn't come along. He knew I was on my way to Jacob, and he decided to help me. Regardless of the risks to him or the pain it might cause for him," I added. "He knew that I had something important to tell Jacob…so, he helped me get here."

"And what was so important?"

I took a deep breath. "Something happened tonight, Sam. And if I'm right, it's something that will affect the pack." Sam's trembling began again, and I made a motion to try to ease him. "Calm down. It's not bad. I…I think I figured out the imprinting issue. Why some of you imprint long after you've first set eyes on your mate." Sam's brows furrowed, obviously surprised by the direction of the conversation.

He walked deliberately toward me, lowering his voice as if that would be enough to keep Edward from hearing. "Really? And what's your theory?"

I flinched at his proximity. "I think that the imprinting delay is caused when the person's heart is not free to be totally swept up by the imprint impulse."

Sam seemed to ponder my words, and then said, "Explain."

"Collin had been around Charity several times since he joined the pack, but it wasn't until she was out of her previous relationship that he was able to imprint. The same thing happened with Rachel and Paul. Once her heart was free to give to him completely, they were able to be fated."

I noticed that Paul had phased, and had come up next to Sam, his face filled with wonder. "It's so simple," he said, awed. "But it makes sense." He turned to his alpha. "I always felt a pull to her, but it was never very strong. I just knew I liked being around her. But when she came back that week after her exams, it was completely different. The pull was still there, but it was like her heart was finally answering back."

Another wolf phased and joined the small semi-circle around me. It was Collin. "Yes, that's exactly it!" he said, his voice overwhelmed. One by one, the massive wolves around Edward disappeared and in their place stood La Push's teenage protectors, staring at me with realization on their faces. One moment I was surrounded by the fiercest, scariest monsters in the forest, and the next I was once again with my dearly loved brothers and friends. My tension immediately dissipated once I was in the comfortable company of them in human form.

"I think you're right," Sam said, hushed. His eyes widened and his mouth dropped open as he regarded me again. "And, so…you were looking for Jacob…" Sam's expression lightened at the comprehension of what this meant. Around me, concerned faces broke into wondrous smiles.

"Yes," I said simply, relieved that they finally understood, and that they seemed _happy_ about the possibility.

"Oh, Bella," Jared murmured, excitement apparent in his tone. "I hope you're right."

"So do I, Jared…more than anything."

"Well, you won't have to wait long…" Quil began, as his eyes flickered at something behind me.

A rustling in the brush at my back told me that another member of the pack had joined this impromptu meeting in the middle of the dense forest. All of the eyes that had been directed at me now fixed on the figure behind me. I didn't need to turn to know that it was _him_.

It was my Jacob.

I continued speaking to Sam, raising my volume slightly for the benefit of the man behind me. My voice wavered with the intensity of my emotion as I said, "So yes, Sam…I was looking for Jacob, and Edward helped me. I was looking for Jacob to tell him that my heart is free…to tell him that I'm his, completely." I quivered and my words halted as I fought to keep from giving myself over to the tears. "I wanted to find him…to tell him…" My shoulders shook as my emotions took over. "To tell him that I love him, and that, if I'm right, we have one more chance to imprint."

I knew Jacob could hear everything I said, and yet I couldn't turn around. Now that the moment was finally here, I was afraid to meet his beautiful eyes…afraid that after everything I had hoped, everything we had endured together, that the result I desired above all things would slip away from me one more time…for the last time.

"Is this true?" his voice swept across me like a breeze, quiet and gentle. The members of the pack could only look back with wide eyes, quietly taking in the scene with hopeful anticipation — waiting to see if I was right. I was surprised when Edward's voice arose from his spot behind the group.

"It is, Jacob," he said, no hint of his true emotions shining through his words. "It was self-centered of me to hold onto her this long. I've caused us all more pain than I can bear to recall, and I hope you know I'm truly sorry for that. I hope tonight is a small step toward making it right."

I could hear the tension in Jacob's intonation. "What are you talking about?"

"I've released her…well, any part of her that I was selfishly clinging to…" Edward pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand and ran his fingers through his hair with the other, despair emanating from his form. "Her heart is free, one-hundred percent." He met my wide eyes. "I only hope it works…I know how much Bella wants this."

I closed my eyes and prayed silently. For a moment, the only sound was of my quiet weeping. Then I heard Edward once more.

"Bella?" I looked up at him, startled that he was addressing me directly. "Bella? I'm…I'm leaving now. If that's okay, Sam?" The alpha nodded slowly. "I think it might be best — for all of us — if I headed to Denali for a while." He took a step closer, so I could see him more clearly from my vantage point. "I'll be okay…don't worry about me. I just want you to be happy, Bella…that's all I've ever wanted for you. To be happy."

"I know," my voice cracked.

"Good luck to you both," he said softly, speaking to Jacob as well. "I love you, Bella." And with that, a momentary breeze on the leaves as he took off was all that indicated he had been there at all.

I closed my eyes. "Goodbye, Edward," I whispered, one final time.

The silence that followed was palpable. I knew Jacob was processing all of the information that was thrown at him in the last minutes. I didn't know what was going to happen next, but as I waited, I felt Jacob's presence closer against my back. He stood there, and I could feel the heat rolling off his skin mere inches from mine. My arms were covered in goosebumps.

"Bella," his lips were at my ear, and I could hear the tears in his voice. Two hot tears of my own escaped my eyes and dropped down my cheeks. "Bella…" he repeated. "Turn around, baby…please let me see you."

"I'm scared," I said softly, my breath hitching with my words. "I love you, and I'm so scared, Jake."

"Whatever happens, we'll handle it…together." His hot arms wrapped around my waist and I leaned back against his warmth, reveling in the moment where hope was still palpable.

"Okay," I whispered. "Okay..."

Slowly, I turned, feeling his arms graze lightly where they still wrapped around me, holding me loosely against him. I kept my head ducked, my gaze level with his bare chest. We stood there for a moment, and I could almost feel his stare at the top of my head. Gently, Jacob's hand slid against my skin from its spot on my lower back, up my side, to my bare arm and stopping at my collarbone.

He took a shaking breath and cradled my chin in his hand. I stopped breathing. Jacob's hand lingered idly there for a second, and then, with purpose, he raised my head and found my eyes with his.

I gasped at the flush of heat that overtook me the moment his gaze met mine. His brown eyes were rimmed with red from his emotion, and swimming with unshed tears. They were darker than usual in the limited light, but the moon seemed to catch the orbs and cast a dancing reflection that made them bright with astonishment as they drank me in.

Jacob's expression was overcome. His eyes looked as if he were seeing the world for the very first time.

As if he were seeing _me_ for the very first time.

I felt warmth slowly spreading in my middle as I lost myself in him. The chill in the air no longer affected me. I was not in La Push, in the woods, in a flimsy dress…I was in _Jacob_. And he was warm — so warm.

I was surprised at the instant realization that I had not been complete until this moment in time. It was absolute and perfect. In an instant, I comprehended what it meant when people referred to their soul mates as their "other half." Because that's exactly what Jacob was. He was a piece of my soul that had permanently attached himself to make me a while person.

"Bella." Jacob's voice was hushed, reverent. "It's you." His arms around me tightened.

My peripheral vision had disappeared, and only Jacob remained. He was right in front of me, yet all around me — permeating my very being. My eyes weren't able to see anything else.

I couldn't control my trembling, and prayed I wouldn't swoon. "Jacob," was all I could think to say, and the word felt beautiful on my lips. It felt so good, that I had to say it again. "Jacob."

"It's you," he repeated in awe, his tears streaming down his russet skin. "It's always been you, but…" His eyes darted to my lips, my hair, and my nose. "Oh my God, do you feel it?"

"I do, Jake," I said, allowing the first happy sob to escape. "I do…oh God, yes I do!" I clung to him and cried in relief and in response to the overwhelming force of my soul's completion.

Jacob responded with joy, picking me up so my face was even with his and laughing with unadulterated elation. "I love you!" he exclaimed as if it were a new revelation. "Always, Bella…_always_!"

I wept with jubilation, wrapping my legs around his waist, throwing my arms around his neck and pressing my nose against his, our tears mingling together as our souls had just done. Our joyful sounds echoed in the darkened forest for all to hear. Suddenly, his hot mouth was pressed against mine, the taste of his lips and our tears overwhelming me with their sweetness. I felt an amazing, incredible jolt of electricity flow through my body. The sensation was fantastic. It shot through my being and directly to my soul. Again and again our lips met, like two magnets impossible to separate.

"I can't believe this is actually happening," I cried against his mouth when I could manage a shaky gasp. "I've wanted it for so long…"

"Me too," he murmured, holding me impossibly close. Again we met in a kiss, our mouths joyous. "Do you know what this means, Bells?"

I pressed my forehead against his, soaking in the wild ecstasy etched on his handsome face. "No more 'what if's!" I held his face between my palms and savored his wide smile. "No more worries about what fate has in store for us…because _you_ are my fate." I placed a firm kiss on his mouth. "And I'm yours."

"You're mine…" he whispered.

We stared at each other and fell silent, finally noticing the world around us for the first time in several minutes. The rest of the pack had quietly left, and I felt the gravity of our aloneness. Jacob seemed to sense what I needed, because he slowly lowered me and kissed me again. It was different this time. The joy was still there, but an underlying flame of desire was evident in the way his tongue caressed my mouth. I couldn't believe the pull I felt to him — it was more intense than any yearning I'd ever had. He evidently felt the same.

"I want you so much," he said, hushed.

With movements that were more graceful than my shaking hands should have allowed, I reached up and touched his cheek, memorizing the moment and the way he looked at me. I knew that I would have a lifetime to treasure this beautiful, perfect man, but for now I just wanted to commit to memory the way he looked right then. He looked like my Jacob, my best friend, my light and the love of my existence.

"I want you so much," his awed voice repeated, the truth of it causing my eyes to sparkle with happy tears.

"You have me, Jacob," I said, feeling his smooth, warm skin beneath my hand. "Forever and ever…you will always have me."

_OOO_

_Author's Note: If you've never reviewed a single chapter, I ask you to please review this one. I really want to know what people thought of my story._

_This isn't the last you've seen of my Jacob and Bella. There will be an epilogue to LN&D, but it probably won't be up for a month or two as I finally concentrate on some RL things that were ignored during my fic-writing. Please add my story to your alerts so you know when it's up._

_Thank you all, so much, for reading my story. Much love._


	33. Epilogue

_Author's Note: Thank you all for being so patient with me with this epilogue. I hope you'll add me as a favorite author, because I have a lot more writing in me! Be on the lookout for the five oneshots I'm writing for the generous ficsters who bid on me in the Fandom Gives Back: Eclipse._

_I love fanfic, I love Twilight, and I love all of you._

O-O-O

Eight years later:

The door from the garage swung open just as I pulled the bubbling casserole from the oven. I straightened and put the hot dish on the stove, groaning at the ache in my lower back, but glad that Jacob was finally home from work. He had been putting in some long hours lately.

I turned to greet him, just in time to see a flash of black hair whiz by, accompanied by a delighted squeal of "Daaaaaaddy!" Jacob crouched down and caught our son, pretending to be knocked backward by the force of the three-year old's tackle.

"Aaaaahhh!," he overacted, gasping in mock surprise before lifting the little boy high in the air. "Have you been good for your mommy today, Embry?" he asked, meeting my eyes with a twinkle over his shoulder. I laughed, remembering earlier when Embry had unknowingly picked some of our elderly neighbor's mums to make a bouquet for me. I had to apologize to a very upset Mrs. Baker, and offer to replace the autumn blooms.

"Yes, Daddy," he said in his little voice. "Did you fix lots of cars at work?"

Jacob put the little boy down and rumpled his hair. "Sure did, buddy. Maybe after dinner we could go out to the garage and we could work on _your_ car." The two of them had been building a little foot-powered wooden car for Embry to "drive" around our property. I wasn't too excited about the "four-wheeled death machine," but Jacob was quick to remind me that I had once dallied in motorcycles with him, and Embry had luckily inherited his father's grace with none of my clumsiness.

Quickly, Jacob crossed the small kitchen with his long legs and placed a kiss on my nose and both cheeks. Glancing down, he caressed my swollen belly with his warm hands almost reverently.

"And how about you, little girl?" he crooned at my bump. "My little Agnes, are you treating mommy well?"

"Ugh, Agnes? Are you just trying to find the worst names possible on purpose?" I made a face. "I'm still pulling for 'Abigail' or 'Bonnie.'"

"Aye, she's a wee bonnie lass," Jacob exaggerated an Irish brogue. I smacked him with the spatula playfully. "Really, how are you feeling?"

"She's been stretching a lot today," I said, patting his hands where they rested on my tummy and turning back to finish dinner. "I swear if she got any lower, we'd be having a birthday."

"Maybe she'll share _your_ birthday!" Jacob said enthusiastically, watching me as I predictably grimaced at the mention of my least favorite holiday. He wrapped his arms around me from behind and rested his chin on the top of my head. "Oh, it would be fun, Bells! Your birthday is tomorrow, and she's due in a week. Embry was a few days early…"

I was thoughtful. "Well, it would be nice for her to hurry up," I said. "I only have so many paid days saved up for my maternity leave, and it was risky taking the last three days off to rest and get things ready." I spooned the casserole and the vegetables onto the plates and hissed as a little foot jabbed me in the ribs. "I hope that student teacher doesn't mind having to handle library time for the next twelve weeks. Maybe I should stop by tomorrow…"

I felt Jacob's hot breath on my neck a second before his lips pressed on the sensitive junction. "We talked about this, sweetie. You need to stay off your feet for a few days. Enjoy a few naps before the craziness begins. Take a day or two just for you. And that includes having someone take Embry for the day."

I sighed and relaxed into his embrace, before remembering something. "That reminds me, have you spoken with Emily to confirm that she and Sam will watch Embry when the time comes?"

Jacob nodded. "Yes, and they're really looking forward to having him. We might never get him back…" His words were interrupted by the trilling of the telephone. Jacob sighed. "Never fails…bet that's Sue, wanting to know if you're having contractions…"

"Hush," I said, "She's just excited about her future grandchild." I stood and reached the phone, turning to admonish Embry for dipping his green beans in his milk before murmuring a soft, "hello?" and expecting Sue's voice. She always called in the evening…I hadn't the heart to tell her that she almost always interrupted us at dinnertime.

"Bella?" The unexpected voice on the other line grabbed memories from another time and forced them front and center in my mind, stunning in their clarity and the emotions they elicited.

I gasped and dropped the receiver, one hand flying up to clutch at my heart and another slapping against my forehead in overwhelming shock as the phone clattered on the kitchen floor. Jacob had leapt up and was at my side in a second.

"What is it? Is it the baby?"

My wide eyes could only fix on the phone where it lay on the ground. Jacob, understanding, picked it up and put it to his ear, his eyes never leaving mine.

"Hello?" he demanded. "Who is this?"

I could hear his velvet voice over the receiver from where I stood.

"Jacob? I…I hope this isn't too much of a shock," Edward stammered. "I didn't want to startle you both like this."

Jacob's entire body was tense, his jaw taut and his eyes flashing with a primal gleam I hadn't seen in several years. A low growl began deep in his chest and it was only stilled by a frightened whimper coming from the table. Embry's lip quivered as he took in our stressed voices and strained expressions. I knew we were a few seconds away from a meltdown, so I forced myself to fix a smile on my face and motioned to Jacob that I would be right back.

"Sweetie," I said to my frightened little boy. "How would you like to eat your dinner and watch Sesame Street in the living room? Mommy and Daddy have to talk to an old friend on the phone." Obediently, Embry complied, grabbing his sippie and settling in his favorite spot on the carpet. I quickly got him situated, found the television program for him, grabbed the cordless phone from its cradle in the living room and rushed back into the kitchen.

Jacob raised his hand to stop me where I stood. He leaned against the counter across the room, trembling from head to toe. He hadn't phased in nearly four years, so I knew he was a bit rusty at controlling the impulse, and I kept my distance, my hand instinctively going to my belly as if I could protect the tiny girl growing there. Nervously, I put my phone up to my ear as Jacob did the same with his.

"Edward?" my voice was breathless.

"Oh, thank God," Edward said, sounding relieved. "I knew it would be a shock when I called, but I didn't mean to alarm you quite this badly. Are you both okay?"

"I think so," I allowed myself to smile cautiously at Jacob, who was gulping air in an attempt to quell his shaking. "Just surprised is all. How…are you? How is everyone?"

Edward chuckled into the receiver. "They're all gathered eagerly around me, and wondering the same things about you."

I felt warmth spread in my chest, and I realized with a pang how acutely I missed them all. "Alice? Carlisle? They're all there with you?" My eyes filled with tears before I realized it, and I began shaking even more violently than my husband. "Can you tell them all that I miss them?"

Jacob was watching me closely, and I knew he wanted to cross the kitchen to hold me in his arms as I trembled and wept, but his own shaking kept him at bay. All we could do was gape at one another.

"We all miss you too, Bella. In fact, we were hoping…" Edward's voice trailed off, and I could hear his hesitation. "If it's not too much to ask…" Again he quieted. In the background, I could hear Emmett trying to chime in and being shushed by several of his family members.

"What is it, Edward?"

"Well, we are all in the area, and we were hoping to stop by for your birthday tomorrow," he finally said. "Everyone still loves you and considers you part of the family, and it's been difficult to spend the last eight years away from you."

I shot a concerned look at Jacob, wondering what he could possibly be thinking, but he just continued to gaze back at me with concern of his own.

"I'm not sure, Edward," I admitted honestly, even though I ached to see them again. I wouldn't do anything that would cause Jacob unnecessary worry. "I think Jacob and I need to discuss this first…"

Jacob sighed loudly and paused, seeming to have an internal debate with himself. I remained quiet, since he looked like he wanted to say something.

Jacob covered the receiver with his large hand and whispered, a bit more tersely than usual, "I'm fine with it, Bella…as long as you think you're okay with it. I know how much you've missed them, and even though they're…what they are…I know we can trust them."

"But Jacob…"

"It's okay, Bells. You want to see them, I know you do. You don't know how much you talk about them in your sleep." His eyes softened as I gaped at him, surprised. "I think it would be good for you, and good for them to see how happy you are."

I stifled an uncharacteristically girlish squeal and instead smiled widely at him, and waddled across the space that separated us to kiss him firmly on the lips. "Thank you," I said fiercely. "You don't know how much this means to me."

I put the phone back up to my ear, but I could already hear the Cullens celebrating. They had obviously heard the conversation. Edward's voice rose above the rest. "Would 10 a.m. be too early?"

"No. Let me give you the address…"

"Not necessary." I heard the tremor of excitement in Edward's tone. "I'm…really looking forward to it, Bella. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Sure thing," I said, overwhelmed. The phone clicked to indicate that he had hung up, but I still held it to my ear until Jacob gently took it from my hand and placed it back on the cradle.

O-O-O

As we got ready for bed that night, I watched my husband carefully. I was overjoyed that he had agreed to the Cullen visit, but I knew he couldn't be thrilled about it.

As we brushed our teeth and I washed my face, we debated baby names again. It was becoming a daily ritual, as we still hadn't decided on a definite name. We were leaning toward "Sarah," after Jacob's mother, but the middle name was a mystery.

"Okay, how about Sarah Michelle?"

Jacob snorted and clutched his sides laughing. "Oh, how appropriate! Tell me, Bella…is our daughter going to be a vampire slayer like her father?"

"Oh yeah," I said, giggling as I turned out the light and walked over to turn down the covers.

Jacob, clad only in some light cotton pajama bottoms, climbed into our bed and put his head on the pillow, extending his arm out so I could snuggle into his embrace, as we did every night. I finished putting on my sports bra to support my aching breasts and eagerly nuzzled against his skin, resting my pregnant belly against his side so the little girl growing in me could kick him. We both sighed in relief at the close proximity of our bodies. Even after all these years, our love and the imprint demanded that we remain physically close and we were only too happy to give in.

"Jacob?" I murmured, swirling my fingers across the skin of his chest. "What are you thinking right now?"

"Mmm," he hummed, enjoying my touch. "I'm thinking of ways to convince you to let me make love to you."

My pulse sped up even as I laughed. "Well, you won't have to do much convincing. Even the doctor said it would be a good to help me progress and get us closer to labor."

"Well, if it's doctor's orders…" He moved his hands across my hip.

I smirked, but then added, "You know what I'm talking about…what are you thinking about what happened tonight? What's going to happen tomorrow?" I waited in stillness to see if I could notice any tension in his muscles, but Jacob remained relaxed.

He leaned over and kissed my forehead. "It's like I said before, Bells. I know how much it would mean to you to see them again. And they're not going to be breaking the treaty by visiting our home." He paused and then begrudgingly added, "Besides, I don't think I could have realized it when I was younger, but I have a lot to thank them for. I think a visit on your birthday is understandable."

I sat up slightly in surprise, grunting with the effort. "You're taking this so well!"

He sat up too, taking my face in his large hands and kissing me gently on the mouth. "I'll admit that I'm nervous about controlling my impulse, but I stopped worrying about Edward being my competition the moment you came after me in the woods eight years ago." He chuckled. "I don't have anything to worry about, do I?"

I launched myself at him clumsily, but met his lips right on. His strong arms cradled me against him gently, careful of my bump. "Of course you don't have anything to worry about, you silly, wonderful, sexy man," I exclaimed, kissing his lips, cheeks, chin and eyelids. He deftly reversed my attack, manipulating my body until I was flipped around and laying comfortably on my side before I realized what he was doing, his warm torso pressed against my back and his hot hands roaming up my pregnant belly to caress my swollen breasts through my bra with maddening care.

I arched against his touch, wriggling my rear against his hardening groin. It always amazed me how gentle Jacob could be, considering his superhuman strength. Twisting my head around, I met his lips with my own, nipping and tasting his mouth and moaning as he softly brushed my hyper-sensitive nipples.

"Are you comfortable?" he broke away from me and growled lowly, his breath tickling my ear. I nodded and Jacob carefully lifted the material of my bra to free my breasts. At the same time, his erection nudged my bare bottom from beneath his pajama pants. He shifted to pull his clothing off, all while carefully rubbing my nipples and kissing my neck. I moaned, my nerve endings already especially receptive to touch due to the pregnancy.

The barrier of cloth out of the way, I could feel the heat of his length pressing urgently against me, and I pressed back. Jacob ran one hand down my hip and underneath me, touching the underside of my bottom and sliding his fingers against my folds, where I was starting to become slick and ready thanks to his attentions.

"Jacob," I whispered, wanting him inside of me. "Please…"

"Shhh," he said softly, his hands continuing their work. "This might be our last time for a while if our little miss decides to come soon, and I want to make it good."

"Please!" I pleaded again, thrusting my bottom against his hardness again. With a final kiss on my neck, he cooperated, and nudged his way between my folds and into my wetness. I moaned lowly as he filled me, and we both murmured our affections as he began to move slowly and carefully, consuming me with his sex and love and tenderness.

O-O-O

At 9:45 the next morning, Embry sat calmly at the little desk Jacob had made for him, coloring a picture of a robot. Jacob, who had taken the day off of work to welcome our "guests," sprawled his long limbs on the couch, watching a show on college football. I waddled around frantically, straightening the already-clean room with obsessive focus. I didn't know if I was nesting or if I was simply nervous. The activity wasn't helping my back, which ached more than usual.

"Bella," Jacob finally said, looking up from his program. "You're going to put yourself into labor if you don't calm down. And I'm sure poor little Eunice can feel your nervousness."

I sank into a sitting position on the couch with a groan and rubbed my tummy. "You're probably right. I'm just…excited...and nervous...and a little freaked out. And her name will _not_ be Eunice."

He leaned over to kiss me on the forehead, but didn't have time to say anything because at that moment we heard the sound of several cars arriving in our driveway. My body flushed with adrenaline, and I sprang up with energy that betrayed my current condition.

"Oh my God, they're here!" I exclaimed.

"Here we go," Jacob said, a bemused smile on his handsome face.

Embry cocked his head and looked at us curiously. At that moment the doorbell rang, and his curiosity turned to glee as he jumped up and exclaimed, "Papaw!" With his 3-year old vigor, he easily beat me to the door. Throwing it open, he stopped in surprise at the small crowd that was gathered on our front porch.

Soft gasps came from several of the vampires standing there, and I echoed their gasps the moment I saw their beautiful, unchanged faces. Most of the eyes were set on my son, but two pairs were fixed on me. Edward and Alice.

"You're not Papaw," Embry said uncertainly, taking one step back as the group waited on the porch, gazing at him with awed wonder. His dark brown eyes flickered across their faces, and, like I expected from my precocious little one, his reservations quickly melted away, replaced by childish energy. "Are you here to play with me? Let me show you my robot picture!"

The Cullens didn't move until Jacob nodded at Carlisle, giving an unspoken approval for them to enter.

With superhuman speed, Alice nudged her way through her family and rushed into the room to stand in front of me. She paused and her eyes widened as she took in the size of me, but she was practically vibrating with the need to hug me. "Bella!"

I closed the gap for her, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame fiercely, sobbing, "Alice…oh, Alice!"

She was deliberately careful in returning my embrace, and broke away to stare at my stomach in wonder. I noticed someone had come up to stand next to her, and looking up, I saw Rosalie, equally transfixed by my pregnant belly.

We had never been close, but that didn't matter. The moment I saw her breathtaking face and golden eyes, I launched myself into her arms, crying, "Rosalie!" I was surprised when she returned my hug, holding me against her as if savoring my rounded shape in her arms.

"I can hear your baby," she whispered in amazement when we parted. "It's sucking its thumb!"

"She," I said, laughing and sniffling, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. "The baby is a girl." Rosalie's eyes returned to my swollen baby bump, gleaming with almost mad obsession as she murmured under her breath and placed her cold hands on either side of my torso.

"Remarkable," she whispered trance-like, and I couldn't help but shift warily. That broke whatever spell had bewitched her, and Rosalie stepped back at once, offering a genuine "congratulations."

Alice's arm wrapped around my waist and we half hugged again, as I looked over to see Esme crouched down at eye level with Embry, who was engaging her in conversation. Carlisle stood right behind them, such pride and joy in his eyes that I was overwhelmed with the emotion in the room. The look on his face was similar to that of my father and Billy whenever they interacted with their grandson.

"He still considers you a daughter," Alice whispered quietly. "Family is everything to him, and I think he's just fallen in love with his adopted grandchild." The corners of my mouth tugged upwards at her words, and Carlisle, most likely hearing what Alice said, turned his eyes to me and smiled happily before turning his adoring gaze to my little man.

Embry, who had never met a 'stranger' in his life, was telling a story about his robot picture he had been coloring. I watched as Esme reached to gently touch Embry's shiny hair as he rattled on, looking almost fearful as if he were just an illusion. Impatient, Embry took her face in his hands to get her to focus directly on him — something he did to us often. She startled and her eyes widened, but then she broke out into a brilliant smile at his fearlessness. Carlisle knelt and whispered something in her ear, and she grinned again.

I took a few steps to the three of them and Carlisle stood.

"He's remarkable, Bella. I'm overjoyed that you have been so blessed. We've missed you." He surprised me with a gentle embrace.

I could feel my tears swimming to the surface as he released me. "Do you want to know Embry's full name, Carlisle?" He nodded as my speech hitched slightly with emotion. "His name is Embry Charles Cullen Black." Carlisle's eyes widened in surprise and he looked back down at the little boy at his feet.

"Cullen?" he whispered.

Jacob piped in from the other side of the room, where he had fallen into a surprisingly easy conversation with Emmett about the football program on our TV. "Bella and I both owe our lives to your family. I was kind of partial to 'Charles William' as a middle name, personally, but I was fine with it. That was one name that was pretty easy to come up with, actually, unlike the latest creation."

Carlisle crossed the distance between himself and my husband. Jacob stiffened when he drew close, as he had been maintaining a respectable distance from Emmett already, but he fought back the instinctual tremors that rose up.

"Thank you," Carlisle said, seeming incapable of forming speech for the first time since I had known him. He held out his hand. Jacob hesitated for a split second before accepting the handshake.

My cheeks hurt from the intensity of my smile, which faltered slightly as my back ached suddenly. I arched and groaned softly, wondering if the baby had wriggled against my backbone again, as she was prone to do.

Rosalie joined Esme on the carpet with Embry. It was a bit surreal to see beautiful Rosalie sitting cross-legged on the ground, but she was obviously as smitten with my son as Esme and Carlisle.

Alice flitted to my side again, not wanting to relinquish her hold on me for long. I returned her squeeze and looked around the room happily.

Jasper was alone, leaning against a far wall — his eyes closed and a blissful smile on his handsome face. "He's savoring the joy in the room," Alice whispered in my ear. "It must be satisfying for him to feel it, knowing how much we've all missed you over the years." Jasper did indeed look content, which was so different from the strained expression that usually decorated his face.

Finally, I noticed that Edward had remained on the porch, his eyes on no one but me. I was almost rendered breathless at his constant beauty, because he had not changed at all. If anything, he looked lighter, less weighed down than I remembered.

"Edward," I whispered, and he immediately entered the home and closed the door. In a blink, he had crossed the room to stand in front of me. I was aware that the conversation in the room had ceased, apart from Embry's happy chatter. Everyone watched us curiously, wondering how we'd react together. Across the room, Jacob's face looked slightly pained as he looked at us in such close proximity.

Edward looked down at my pregnant belly then back up to me, and his face broke into a dazzling smile.

"Bella!" At once, his cool arms were around me, holding carefully, but firmly. I nuzzled into his hug, inhaling his sweet scent for the first time in eight years, when he had last come to my rescue in the woods after prom. "You have no idea how I've missed you."

"Me too," I admitted as we broke apart.

"And you're a mother," he said in awe. "These two little miracles…" He tentatively stroked his long fingers against the swell of my abdomen and was rewarded by the baby's responding wriggling. He froze in wonder, a huge grin on his face. "You have a happy, full human life! That's what I always wanted the most for you." He paused. "You are happy, aren't you?"

I covered the hand that rested on my tummy with my own. "Yes…I am, Edward." My smile faltered. "And I hope you can tell me the same about you…that you're leading a full life too. Well, except for the human part, of course."

We both shared a laugh, and I noticed that Edward's expression had lightened even more. He certainly _looked_ happy enough. His voice lowered, as if he could keep a secret in the room full of vampires and one werewolf. "It's amazing to see you again. I always knew it in my heart, but being in front of you now…I love you, Bella. After all this time, I still love you."

My smile faltered as I immediately wondered what he meant by that, and I shot a slightly panicked look at my husband, but Edward quickly reassured me with a laugh.

"No, no, no…not like that — at least, not anymore." He held my hands in his cool ones. "I won't lie to you and tell you it was easy at first, Bella." He sighed, his mind obviously recalling memories he'd rather not dwell on. "It took a few years before I felt comfortable living back with my family again, surrounded by all of those happy couples. By then, they had been in Canada for five years and it was time to move on. Carlisle decided to go across the Atlantic and reside close to some nomad friends of his in Ireland, Liam and Siobhan. I rejoined my family at last and decided to start out as a college student. I'm studying music at University College Cork. I have a year and a half to go."

"Bet you're head of your class," I joked.

"Straight A's," he laughed. "Anyway, Ireland is good for me...in many different ways." He faltered and looked uncertain for a moment.

"What is it, Edward?"

"I have something to tell you," he began, before pausing. "Actually, wait a second." He started back toward the door, pausing before opening it. "It would probably be better if you just met her."

"Her?"

All eyes were fixed on me and the conversation was at a standstill around us. Edward seemed hesitant to reveal this mystery "her." "I hope you'll be happy for me, Bella."

Edward opened the door to reveal a petite, plump girl with beautiful red curls, a smattering of freckles on her pale skin and friendly, butterscotch eyes. She looked around the room warily before stepping into our home and lacing her fingers through Edward's. He beamed at her proudly and pulled her over to me.

"Bella, this is Maggie." He gazed at her as if she were the most precious thing he'd ever seen, and if she could have blushed, I knew she would have. "She's…well, she's the reason for my existence."

I realized that my mouth was hanging open, and I closed it quickly and looked at the pretty girl at Edward's side. Her face dimpled with her smile, and she held out a tiny hand to me.

"It's such a pleasure to finally meet you, Bella." Her accent was charming, but her chime-like voice sound strained, and at first I wondered how truthful she was being. Then I realized she was carefully holding her breath and that was why her voice was forced.

I took her cold hand and smiled back at her, my face stretching with my growing grin. When I looked back at Edward I saw the joy clearly etched on his marble expression. The two of them regarded one another with a love that was palpable, and I felt no jealousy in my heart, only exhilarated delight.

"Wow," was all I could murmur at first, as I searched for the right thing to say. What could I say? _It's so nice to meet the girl who has saved the heart of my ex-soul mate? Thank you for being what he needed?_ I settled for, "You two look wonderful together."

"Maggie was nervous about meeting you," Edward nudged her lovingly. "She's only been on the vegetarian diet for a few years, and she didn't want to hurt you or Jacob."

"Luckily, the wolf's…umm…_fragrance_ is helping to suppress my appetite," Maggie said, gazing at Edward with unmasked adoration. "And I was anxious to meet the woman who first held my Edward's heart. He learned so much from his time with you."

"I, uh…" I stammered, not knowing how to respond. "Thanks?"

They both chuckled. "I can tell you're a bit freaked out," she said, relinquishing her hold on Edward and taking my arm, still holding her breath. She led me gently to the couch and we sat. "When we first met each other, there was an instant connection that neither of us could deny. But I was hesitant, especially when I heard how much he loved you."

"Hesitant? You took off to Donegal for a month!" Emmett's booming voice came from across the room, and Edward snickered.

"But I came back," Maggie pointed out. "Edward was adamant that we would be good for each other. It was actually something you had told him that helped me get over the reservations that his heart might still be with you. Once he told me what you had said, I knew we were free to fall in love."

"Something that I had said?" I asked, surprised.

She nodded, and Edward came to sit next to her on her other side, rubbing her knee lovingly. "You told me that you knew happiness would happen for me and that something beautiful would be in my future. I didn't realize it at the time, but when I left after the prom, I started anticipating it," Edward explained. "I know you can't tell the future like my sister, but I took that to heart and held onto it when the pain of losing you threatened to consume me. When I met Maggie, it was instantaneous. I knew you had been right." Edward leaned into Maggie, and their lips brushed together tenderly. "It was like I was waiting for the curtain to rise, and behind it was this beautiful creature."

Maggie giggled and kissed his nose, and I felt a happy tear leave my eye at the sight of their affections.

"I'm so glad for you, Edward," I whispered, my heart swelling with contentment. "I can't imagine a better situation…" I stopped talking as a sharp ache twinged my back, moaning softly and stretching. I was able to stop myself from vocalizing my discomfort, but I made sure to glance at the clock. _Seven minutes apart_.

Jacob instinctively knew, and I saw his concerned brown eyes meet mine above the din. We both nodded in recognition of what might be going on.

Bravely, I took Maggie's hand. She looked surprised and then pleased. I wanted to get to know her, and I also needed to squeeze something because the pressure in my abdomen was starting to get uncomfortable.

Edward shifted until he was perched on my other side and Alice settled herself at my feet, both of them craving closer contact with me. I smiled and patted Edward's knee before taking Alice's offered hand in my own.

"Maggie, tell me how you two met…I'd love to hear the story."

The redhead's cheeks dimpled with her happiness and she began. "Carlisle first visited about three years ago. I'd never met him before, but he's known Liam and Siobhan for centuries. I loved his family, but they mentioned that another member would be joining them soon. Edward was…abroad."

"Edward was still moping," Alice added quietly, to the amusement of Emmett and Rosalie. "He was going back and forth between Alaska and Nova Scotia."

"Literally," Edward laughed. "The running helped keep my mind off things."

"He finally met up with his family and I was smitten from the get-go," Maggie murmured, looking across me to Edward.

"As was I, love," Edward responded.

"But it was all so confusing, especially because I had been told about his relationship with you. So I took off. I needed time to think."

I shifted slightly in my seat as my stomach hardened and concentrated on taking a deep breath. Maggie continued talking, and I exhaled in relief when the pressure lifted. When the contraction was over, I noticed that both Edward and Alice had been stroking my stomach lovingly the entire time. Their cool fingers felt like relief. I leaned back and relaxed as Maggie's pleasant voice soothed me, and my two vampire friends lavished attention on me and my baby.

O-O-O

Two hours later, Jasper and Emmett came in from the garage with Jacob, where they had been looking at the 1960 Austin Healey Sprite that my husband had been restoring. I was surprised that Rosalie hadn't gone out to see the car, but she seemed quite happy to help Embry build with his Legos. She hadn't left his side since arriving.

Esme had busied herself in my kitchen, preparing a sandwich for my son so I could continue visiting with my guests. I politely declined any food, especially when my contractions began to increase in intensity and occurrence.

When Jacob finally entered the room, I stood abruptly, starting to get anxious and slightly nauseated. I had been waiting for him. Most of the Cullens were oblivious to what was going on — only Carlisle was giving me curious glances every few minutes. I thought I saw him check his watch once or twice as well.

Jacob used his large stride to cross the room in seconds, wrapping one arm around me and smoothing my hair back from my forehead. His eyes were alive with excitement and nervousness, with no sign of his previous instinctual trembling.

"Are you okay, Bells?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah," I responded, stopping as the next contraction began. I grabbed his arm and bent slightly over, moaning audibly this time. The room quieted and Carlisle came up to my other side.

"They've been four minutes apart for the last twenty minutes," he told Jacob. "I knew she didn't want to say anything, but I could tell what was going on. The good news is that your baby is tolerating the contractions perfectly."

The entire Cullen clan froze where they were. "Is Bella in labor?" Rosalie's beautiful eyes were as wide as I'd ever seen them.

"That would explain her anxiety," Jasper said. "I was puzzled why she would feel so uncomfortable one minute and so happy the next."

Jacob rubbed my lower back as the muscular squeezing came to an end. "Should we call Emily?" I nodded, tears springing to my eyes. I was exhilarated and scared about giving birth, but I also didn't want my visit with the Cullens to end.

Jacob seemed to understand, and murmured that he would call Emily and pack the car, giving me a few more moments with my reunited family. He took Embry's hand and told him that he needed to pick out some toys to take to Uncle Sam and Aunt Emily's.

I led the Cullens out into our small front yard. The day was overcast, as usual, but no rain marred our reunion.

I looked around at all of them and then burst into tears. At once, Alice and Edward were against me, holding me gently. The rest of them also surrounded me. "I'm so glad you came today," I managed to choke out. "I just wish that this visit didn't have to end."

"Actually, one of the reasons we came here was to judge Jacob's openness to you maintaining a relationship with us," Carlisle said softly. "We're so pleased that he's been so welcoming and understanding."

"Of course," I blurted, confused and overwhelmed.

"We're considering our next move, which will happen in only two short years, Bella," Esme said. "We'd like to be as close to you as we can."

"C-close to me?" I squeaked.

"When are you going to get that we freakin' _love_ you, little sis?" Emmett's said warmly.

"And we understand that our time with you is limited by your human existence," Jasper added. "So as much as possible, we want to be near you."

"We thought that Astoria would be far enough away that we wouldn't be recognized, but close enough that we could run for visits frequently," Carlisle explained.

"I think that would be…it would be…" I stopped, inundated with a flood of emotions. My voice dropped to a strained whisper. "I'd like that very much. I've missed you all more than even I realized. And I love you guys too."

A contraction rose up at that moment and I nearly lost my balance. Cool, loving arms held me up and wrapped around me, their temperature soothing the throbbing in my lower back and calming the heated, tightening skin of my abdomen. I groaned and swayed, the group moving with me as if we were one entity. Their presence and the physical demonstration of their affection made the cramping seem less intense, and I was grateful as I regained my composure when the contraction settled down.

Jacob cleared his throat from the doorway and we all turned to look at him. He had the hospital bag over his shoulder and Embry's overnight bag at his feet. Next to him, my son looked like he was holding every stuffed animal from his room.

"Are you ready?" Jacob asked.

I nodded, and detangled myself from the vampire huddle. Around me, I heard murmurs of 'good luck' and 'I love you, Bella.' Jacob put the bags in the car and buckled Embry into his car seat. Before he opened the door for me, he pulled me gently to his side and we walked back to the Cullens.

"Thank you all," Jacob said, holding out his strong arm to shake their hands. "We hope you come back to see the new baby soon. I know it would make Bella happy, and I wouldn't mind spending more time with you guys." He gamely accepted hugs from Alice and Esme and even Maggie. "Just don't tell the rest of the wolves if you see them, okay?"

The Cullens laughed together, and then stepped forward to offer individual hugs to me. Maggie's was hesitant, so I whispered that I was so happy that Edward had found her. Finally, Edward wrapped me in his arms and we held each other longer than the others.

"I love you, Bella. I'll always love you."

"Me too, Edward. Be happy."

"Hey," he said softly, smiling. "That's my line."

We broke apart at last and Jacob helped me in the car. I took a deep, wavering breath, feeling total contentment in my heart. My uterus, however, was another matter, and I grabbed Jacob's arm as he turned the key, and he helped me concentrate through the contraction before he put the car in reverse.

As the group stood on the sidewalk watching us back out of the driveway, Alice wavered for a moment, her eyes going blank as she searched the future. Her face broke into a gleeful smile when her vision came to an end, and she squealed, "Sarah Alice! Oh Bella, Jacob…thank you so much! I'm going to spoil that little girl rotten!"

I laughed happily and took Jacob's warm hand in my own as we drove down the street, the group of vampires growing smaller and smaller in the rearview mirrors until they were gone.

From the back seat, Embry piped up. "I liked your friends, Mommy."

"I'm glad, Embry. I think they liked you too."

He pondered this for a moment, staring at his worn, well-loved stuffed wolf. "I hope they visit again…even if they do smell kinda bad."

I began laughing, and Jacob chuckled as he said, "I'm sure we'll be seeing them again very soon."

That thought made me stop laughing and instead I just stared out of the window, a peaceful smile on my face as I enjoyed the moment and the knowledge that my life was full and would become even more complete once little Sarah Alice was born. Edward had once told me to be happy.

And I was.

O-O-O

_End Note: __One last time, I'd love to hear from you. Reviews are the best thing about writing._


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